Since it is not in me to change anyone other than myself, I am setting off on yet another journey. I am hoping to transform myself into an even more beautiful person. I am beautiful, and need some refining work done. A little plastic surgery if you will to fix a spot or three!
My co-worker, who I have been allowing to drain the life force out of me, shared some great news with me today. She is staying here and will not be moving. Our relationship is one that has caused me some pain and dis
When I was in the hospital I wrote the following in a notebook:
It's 0745. I'm sitting on my hospital bed waiting. I got here about 30 minutes ago. The nurses are nice. They made me put on a disposable gown and hairnet. They gave me an IV port and shot me with an antibiotic that hurt for a few seconds. So I'm sitting here wanting to write down the reasons why I'm doing this so in the next couple of days when I'm regretting it I can look back. I have 2 photos of my 17 months old daughter
Had my surgery at 4:17 on Thursday, June 25. It's official...I'm now a bandster! *doing the happy dance*
The Dr. discovered I had a hiatal hernia and some adhesions and that my stomach was actually in my chest cavity, instead of in my abdominal cavity where it belongs (I had no clue!). He got everything all straightened out and didn't charge me a penny extra! I do have my port in a 'not so normal' place compared to the rest of you, though...mine is right between my boobs. That incision mig
5 weeks post op and I had to have a second surgery because the port had turned to the point where it was impossible to get to to fill. So far I have paid $100 in transportation for 3 trips to the Surgeon, $415 surgeon fees and I finally have my first fill of 1.5 cc. I didnt realize the lapband was going to be so expensive to maintain but thru it all I still feel it is totally worth it!
Since the fill I have had some weird nautious spells. After I drink water, soup or whatever it goes down fine
We are remodeling a house.
It's killing me.
It's also keeping me from thinking about food.
That is a major bonus of remodeling a house. We're also moving into this house on Sunday because it we stay a few more weeks we have to pay another house payment here and a house payment there... so, Sunday, I'm moving.
*sigh....
I don't think about food, but I am doing so good staying away from sweets. Didn't touch any of the icecrem today - even the low calorie stuff. Woot! Yay me.
Had half a
FRUSTRATION! I weighed. The scales haven't budged?? How is that possible? I have been averaging 1200 calories a day - seriously? Not one pound??
How very frustrating.
But the light at the end of the tunnel - I didn't think what I used to: 'why am I even doing this?' etc...
I thought, "Well, I'll have to work harder."
I guess I'll need to add more excercise. But, geez, we're renovating a house right now, I spend every single day sweating and climbing up and down ladders, lots of wate
I decided to tell my husband about wanting to pursue lap band surgery last night. Needless to say it did not go well. Mostly because he feels that it is #1 a waste of money, and #2 a cop-out of sorts. But, in all honesty, I knew he would have that reaction so I cannot even say that I am surprised. I guess I was hoping that he would say "Sureeeee! Let's book the appointment today!" Wishful thinking I know. I can't expect him to know how it feels to have a weight problem because after all,
Let's see, therapy went well. Did the intake stuff. Ya, know the drill....tell about your family members, your life....what you want to work on. June recommended that I read a book. Went to the library to get a library card. Haven't had one since....well since I lived in Wyoming. Really a long time ago. Not sure why...guess I got to caught up in life and wasn't reading. So I was getting my card issued to me, and I was glancing around for the card catalogs......yep you guessed it. Didn't
Why does it feel like the time between now and my fill date (July 2nd) is F O R E V E R? I seem to glance at the calendar almost every day thinking that surely it should be closer than it is.
So - I may be becoming obsessive about counting calories. It's funny - when you really pay attention to it, it all begins to add up. Breakfast 240, Lunch 560, Dinner 200. I went to Taco Bueno to get dinner for JT, Jeff and I and I kept thinking to myself: I want a taco. But a taco is fried and has lot
So I'm reading a book right that works on the possibility of training yourself to think like a thin person.
One of the things it mentions is weakening your 'giving-in' muscle and strenghtening your 'resistance' muscle.
For everytime you can turn away from that plate of cookies - or not eat the onion rings that your BF bought for you - or stop eating when you're FULL... then you are weakening your 'giving-in' muscle and strenghtening that resistance that is very necessary to succeed.
I liked t
First fill was again a bust!!!!!
port is turned pointing to my left shoulder. I had hoped he could hit the spot but it just wasnt working.
SO I HAVE TO HAVE THE PORT RE POSITIONED!!! UGGGG
So now I dont know which way to go. My options are to do it here in the states, I have no Idea how much that will cost....
Or back to my surgeon. He said he will fix it and fill it for free I just have to get there. So I am looking at getting the passport- $45, Plane ticket thru Orbitz.com- $355 , and I a
Surgery's in a week and I'm starting to get antsy...not antsy as in nervous about the trip/surgery but antsy as in I want it all over and done with, so I can learn to eat healthy and begin the process of learning to live my life again.
I've verified with both of my daughters the transportation to/from the airport plans (I'm cheap and don't want to leave my car there for two nights!). Also verified that my youngest daughter and her hubby will be taking my boxer, Simon, home with them after hubb
I had convinced myself that a skinny triple grande vanilla latte from Starbuck's (I call it the mother ship... I love coffee) couldn't be THAT bad. I mean it's made with sugar free syrup AND skim milk. Surely - SURELY!! - it isn't too high in calories. What- maybe 80 calories?
Reality check - after I purchased the divine warming manna I came to work to find that it has 160 calories. How in the world did that happen?
Here's how it breaks down:
*sigh... back to the drawing board... (and
The hospital I have chosen to go to for my aftercare, suggests that I see a counselor. I got the name of the Dr and called yesterday to make the apt. I was caught slightly off guard by the receptionist. Because I am a self pay for my surgery, she noted that, and assumed that this would be the case for therapy. After some chit chat back and forth, I explained to her that my insurance does cover therapy, however it does not cover the WLS. She then informed me that my insurance would indeed no
Where is it that we lose motivation? What is it in the personality of the people who don't?
I was thinking on those questions while driving to work this morning.
You know we've all done it. We're ready to lose weight. We've cleaned out our cabinets. Shopped for healthy fair. Read books. Made promises to ourselves. Bought a new scale. I've done these things so many times.
Best intentions. We recognize we're not healthy and for some reason (appearance, health, pressures) we decide we'r
i saw a picture of myself that mario's mom took last year around this time...i was HUGE. and mario was like omg look at how much weight you lost! and i was like omg!!! then mario's mom was like don't delete those! and i was like i won't i like to see old pictures of me being super fat because it just reminds me where i never want to ever be again.
everything is good. i feel good. i feel like i can be whole again. i don't need to depend on anyone but myself. i did this all by myself. i don't nee
I am so hurt, disappointed, and let down right now, that I can hardly think straight. Relationships are hard. In fact, they are an “area” in my life that I continue to struggle with. What to say, how much to say…the truth is a strange thing. It can be spoken out of love, in anger, out of revenge, or even by mistake. There are so many ways we can twist words; some words spoken to suit our selves, some not.
I have a friend in my life that is a complete self absorbed person, she knows this a
This morning at work I walked out how many steps it will take to walk one of our largest rooms, back and forth. About 2000 steps is a mile. To the back of the room, (and up and down five steps) is about 108 steps. If I walk this about twenty times a day I will have walked a mile.
So I set my computer to notify me when it's time to walk again. Luckily, the ladies I work with will do this with me. I'm being selective now about those I tell about the band. Not because I'm thinking I'll fai
Well. This is me. February 6, 2008, I was banded. I got a fill six weeks later. ... and then two weeks after that I fell and injured a rebuilt ankle. Two months after that - I fell again.
So - after finding this fantastic forum I realized that I had no excuses anymore. It was time.
I had lost enough weight to go down comfortably two sizes. ... AND THEN ... I went up three sizes.
Nice.
I want to be healthy.
I had this surgery for a reason.
I have some fantastic friends - but some
I started my pre-op diet today so I can shrink my liver a little bit before I have my surgery. It's basically Atkins. High protein, low-carb. My surgery is next Thursday, which means I have ten days of doing it. Hell, I can do that standing on my head!
I went over to Linda's yesterday and she took me to her studio and took about two dozen 'before' pictures of me (she's a professional photographer, so guess who's going to be doing my lingerie photos when I lose some of this weight??? lol).
I have been thinking abou just throwing OUT the Scale! it is like I let it determine if I am happy or not! CRAZY!!!! It is soo important to get a bigger picture than the number on the scale. Inches, Loose clothes, energy, knowing if today thier is no weight loss that is ok! keeping a positive attitude is totally important and we cant let the numbers depress us. I have noticed it is like I am addicted to stepping on the scale... every morning I just cant walk past it...... UGGGGGG
I am tota
OK, I have been sooo hungery, like an constant munchies. When I eat it loast for such a short amount of time , VERY frusterating! I can wait for my first fill. I will be going to RIchland Wa to see Dr. Adrian Heap to get a fill on the 18th. I know it will take time to hit the "SWEET SPOT" but I really lookforward to it! My hope it to eat every 4 hour like a normal person. Just lapband type/size meals! Tuesday is my 4th week the dreaded 1 month bandaversery and I was soooo hoping to have lost 30
-gio didn't talk to me yesterday and we're not even fighting. but he found new friends and is doing his own thing which is good for him.
-jeri pissed me off because she told "that i need to get my own life"..she said what was going on in my life other then me losing weight and i was like i guess nothing else and she was like yeah..so that made me really mad so now i'm not really responding back to her. then she sent me some lame thing about fate and free will..i didn't want to talk to her abou
