I am in the dumps. I can see the positive changes and the good that has happened since being banded. Honestly, I am down and out. Guess what!? That is not a good place to be. I feel like I am a failure and that I am all alone in the banded world. Boo hoo, I know, cry me a river...
This is my blog and I am telling it how it is.
so i decided that everybody needs to go. yep. i'm so tired of caring and bending over backwards for people that are completely unappreciative. instead i get called names like "obsessive", "pathetic", "delusional"..i get told i need to get my own life instead of worrying about somebody elses..which is soooooo HILARIOUS since i am the last person to give a DAMN because i am so oblivious because all i ever do is worry about myself! yes i am that selfish! but when it comes to my bestfriends i will s
I have had no weight gain or weight loss. I am bummed. I mean how can I not be bummed? Logically, I know that I can not compair myself with anyones else, however this is easier said then done when you are not having some success.
I've been trying my best to focus on the postive and keep my head up. More and more I am realizing how many expectations I really had. Now, that I can see my expectations for what they are, it is a bit of a bite to swallow.
I can not help but feel like a fail
Slowly, things are totally coming together. I've bought the Smart Stick hand blender and all the post-op food and powdered protein supplements that I'm going to need, with the exception of the fresh fruit I'll need for my fruit puree's. I'll get that the night before I leave.
I've bought liquid vitamins and dissolvable Gas-X, as well as a fresh supply of band-aids and first-aid ointment, cuz who knows how long the other ointment has been in my medicine cabinet? Could have been there for de
Well, didn’t I get a shock yesterday!
My first venture into on-screen acting arrived in a neatly packaged DVD. Regular readers may well remember that I discussed the filming of this back in a post in February, “Killing With Kindness“. Seeing myself on screen five stone heavier was a bit of an eye-opener.
It’s not as if I was blind when I was that heavy – but when you are actually behind all that weight, there is a certain amount of self-preservation that must go on in one’s mind when you look
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I went in on the 8th to get a fill and they COULDNT get it.
After a X-ray I can see that instead of the port face pointing away from my spine it is pointing slightly towards my left shoulder. It is like it is sitting on my bellf "Shelf". but you know it makes since because since the port it stitched onto my muscle and my belly i pointed that way the port is that way too. I am just hoping it can still be filled and with the exrays we now can see how it sits and SHOULD be able to get it done. I
I figured the time was nigh to write a overview and summary on my thoughts so far on this whole gastric band thing. In doing so, I will try to avoid my usual rapier wit and innuendo to get my message across!I was a bit concerned to have feedback on my last blog entry suggesting that my words had managed to put her in a position of thinking again about going through the operation. I was concerned because it seems that in my attempt to be as open and honest about the things I have experienced alon
ok I seem to be counting down!!!
week 1 8#s
week 2 4#'s
week 3 2 #'s
yes this totals 14 pounds but I dont like the way this is heading!
I went to get a fill yesterday and even though finding the port was no problem he couldnt seem to get any fill IN. so he is wondering if it is on its side or flipped or what. So now I have to go get an exray to find out if it is tilted or what! so I can get filled.
I can tell I have been eating more (an slice of pizza instead of a 1/2 like I was) and I
After my one week report my insision's scab rubbed off in the shower and the bump came streaming out! YUCK, BUT the skin on all but one insision has completly healed over and the only bump it the line of scar tissue under each line. and of course I can feel the port under the one.
My week 2 isnt quite here yet that is tuesday so I dont know how much i will have lost by then.
I did get a sneak peek and so far I have lost 4lbs this week which is a total of 12 lbs since my lapband's b-day. I th
I found a Surgeon who will Adjust my lapband eventhou my surgery was done in Mexico. I have been wondering about going back to Tj for fills because my Surgeon Dr. Kelly is a wonderful DR. It is just hard to find someone to watch my 3 kids to go. And the person I found is only 1.5 hours away and I can take them with me. (I will just make a field trip out of the day) THe fill dr here charges 150 for the fill and 350 if he needs to use the flouro. $500 ouch! But what are my options?! I hope he wont
My surgery is scheduled for three weeks from this afternoon...not that I'm counting or anything! Six more work days of regular diet, then eight work days of pre-op diet...then I'm on the plane and outta here!
Woo-hooo!!!
I had my first fill yesterday. (June 1, 2009) I arrived early so I could check in to the access center. I had to chuckle because the TV in the access center was set to the Jerry Springer show. Now honey that is some drama! LOL Pay my $50.00 and go upstairs to meet my new Dr. Almost as soon as I checked in Michelle came out to take me back to pay the $1000.00 fee. Within 2 minutes I was in a room meeting with Dr. McBride. She is very nice and a fellow bandster. She has had her band for 6
So...called Fill Centers USA yesterday to get an idea of prices and availability. 'Bout had a coronary!
The initial visit is $350, which doesn't include flouro. Flouro is an additional $99. Subsequent visits are $165.
So...my first visit is going to cost me almost $500. Wow! But, I know that I want flouro at my first fill, just to make sure that everything is okay.
I hope I don't need a fill every single month!
And, even if I went back to TJ for my first fill and they used flouro, I'd
Holy crap! You know how you really don't notice how much weight you've gained until you see a picture of yourself and then you're in shock for a minute at how fat you are?
Yeah, I got the same reaction this morning, only it was about how out of shape I am. I already *know* I'm fat! Holy crap...got on my new treadmill for six minutes on Sunday and for seven minutes last night. This morning, my tummy muscles are sore! From walking! 13 minutes of walking and I'm sore.
This is going to be a
Got my treadmill this weekend...it's a Nordic Track C1900...Linda bought hers brand-new at Costco a couple of years ago for $699 and then she had to assemble it. I got mine delivered and ready-to-go for $350. I totally got a STEAL!
I even got on yesterday and walked for a bit to test it out...I could only do six minutes before my back started hurting though. I know six minutes isn't a lot, but hey, it's a start, at least!
Since I have begun this journey...from the VERY start...I've felt that there are forces at work around me...guiding me and pointing me in the direction I need to go.
Example: the fill Dr. is right across the street from my work. I can sit at my desk and look across Overland and see his office. How the hell cool is that?
Example: Susan and the whole 'life-mapping/hypnosis' thing. One more cog in the wheel of transformation.
I just found out that one of the (flouro-using) Fill Centers USA'
Woo-hooo!!! I get my treadmill this weekend! Found it on Craigslist...Nordic Track...retails for over $1K and I'm getting it for $350! I can't wait! AND it's the same one that Linda has! How weird is THAT?
Went to a different GNC on my lunch hour yesterday and bought some more protein supplements. I have about a four month supply now, so I'm pretty sure I'm set! lol
Went to the store last night and bought about a dozen and a half different soups. I actually bought baby food, too, to su
It’s fill time baby! I go on Monday for the first fill in the band! I am so ready. Feels like I can eat anything. On occasion I have had some hang ups with bread mostly. It would not surprise me one bit if I was not able to eat bread for much longer. Not overly concerned about it. Taking it all in stride, that is the great thing about “forced behavior modification” since I have issues with food, it is good to have that firm do this and feel pain and cause complications.
No, don’t, shoul
I bee-bopped into GNC last night, just to look around, while I was waiting for my daughter to meet me. Never in my life have I even *set foot* in a nutrition store. I was pretty much convinced that lightning was gonna flash and the ground was gonna open up and swallow me as I walked through the front door. Surprise! Nothing unusual happened, but trust me, I was waiting for it to!
The clerk was a complete snot to me. He took one look at me (and my size) and immediately (mentally) dismissed
changed my goal weight to 130. i've decided that when i reach 150 that's my health goal weight and i'll do a victory FINALLY dance! but for pure vanity sakes 130 is my goal weight. and that will be my victory FINALLY dance all week long woooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!i'm still stuck in the 90's...ugh but i know once i stop eating the carby foods that will diminish.
Checking in for my week one post op and I have to say I feel AWESOME..
My energy is BACK. No Pain, Lost 8 pounds.
I just couldnt do the liquids any more so I have been eating mushies and fruits, CHEW CHEW CHEW.
The wounds are healing very well, I do have a bit of a bump where the port incision is. So I am wondering what you all have experienced when it comes to swelling and how long it takes to be not noticable.
let me know, Thank you, Leah
I have decided that I am *completely* in love with my new Smart Stick Hand Blender! It is the most awesome thing I've used in decades!
Went over to Linda's this weekend and she fixed me a fruit drink with it...she said it was my first 'bandster' meal and this was to give me an idea of how to eat once the surgery and healing is all done. All she did was chop up some fresh fruit into small pieces (I chose cantaloupe, papaya, pear, watermelon, strawberry and half a banana) and then she poured so
