Before I lose the ability to eat fourteen rhino ribs and a bath full of potatoes in one sitting, I figured it was probably the best time to do what I do and analyze myself once more and explore one of my most confusing behaviours. To find out why eating so much makes me so damn happy, whilst knowing that the result of eating so much makes me so utterly miserable.
I suppose the first thing to do would be to pin-point any psychological anomalies that could be ear-marked as a place to start huntin
i feel so low right now. completely crushed. gio just told me that i have a pouty attitude and that i'm too needy....omg that's the killer. its just i love him so much and he knows everything about me. of course i'm going to need him...but i guess he feels suffocated or something???? i try to leave him alone. like i won't call or text him and he always calls and text me and wants to hang out. but i guess when we hang out i haven't been the most pleasant person. he thinks i take him for granted a
From the outset of my decision for surgery has been the nagging fear that everyone has, especially when they commit themselves lay bare-chested in front of a man (or woman) with a big scalpel who would rather be on the golf course with Cecil Snr and Farquah the Third. The nagging fear is of course..."am I going to die?"!For people having this procedure who listen to their surgeons before-hand and do some research on the fact, the figures for death caused as a direct result of laproscopic surgery
Being woken at 3am to the sound and feel of my daughter throwing up into my excessive chest hair started my day in a less than pleasurable way.It was the day of my pre-assessment meeting with the hospital, before my surgery next week. This is where the nurse checks to see if a) it is likely that I would suffer a slight death under anaesthesia and if I did, what blood type would they need to try and pump through my tightened arteries in order to try and revive me from aforesaid inconvenience.I w
Whilst sitting in the "green room" waiting to be called on set (actually, the name was quite apt as we were sat in a stuffy snooker room in the back of an old gentleman's club...baize green everywhere!) I had another moment of diving into people's psyche concerning us fatties (for those of a sensitive nature, scrub that and read "bariatrically challenged" or "those of a less than slender approach").The moment that sparked my grey cells was when, as usual, I preempted the jokes and jibes that cou
Whilst laying awake last night, I started to do a bit of self-analysis (keep those gutter minds out of the sewers please!) and examine my psyche a little bit. It's amazing how overworked my mind becomes when I go to bed ("hit the sack" for all you States-side peeps out there).Amongst many other world-changing theories and famine-busting mental dissertations, I stumbled across my new hobby - which I believe will be a good enough one to serve as my emotional crutch when my "eat the food, eat the p
Hello to all visitors; casual and accidental browsers or well-directed people with interest.As my first post, I thought I should explain who I am, why I am blogging and what you should expect to see here.My name is Ben. I am overweight. In fact, I am told - morbidly obese. Lovely.I have taken the decision that on 27th February 2009, after many years of being on the roller coaster ride to early retirement from life (actually, forget "roller coaster ride" and make that "wheelchair ride" - I can't
good news- i lost 2 more lbs. bad news i'm really 5'5 and i have small bones. i got an x-ray and went to the doctors yesterday. i'm a small frame so technically my goal weight should be like 110-120lbs...ugh how annoying and this whole time i thought i was getting almost to my goal weight and this happens. i'm set back once again and it's frustrating but at least i know the truth now. anyway i'm looking at this chart and it said 130 is still ok for a small frame 5'5 women so maybe i'll just l
so weird! last night i ate a krispy kreme boston creme filled donut, tortilla chips, chocolate, bubblegum, and a taro boba which is the equivalent to a starbucks frapp because it has 3 scoops of vanilla icecream in it..and I lose 2lbs!?!!!!!! what is going on????!!!! i can eat for a whole week straight of good healthy food, salads, fruits, yogurt, lean protein, good fats, like nuts, etc ..and the scale will not budge! but the week i eat everything junk i lose 3lbs that refused to come off for an
yesssss 1pound lost today!!! and all it took was me to eat a plate of 7layer bean dip and chips, cup of noodles, 2 cups of juice, dark chocolate...see basically nothing but junk and i lost weight?!!! and i only ate all that food because i was at work. i think i emotional eat at work because i hate HATE it there...i'm just over it and i don't want to be there anymore. but i'm too comfortable to quit and get another job because i have "seniority" and i'm not going to find another job that pays tha
i'm starting to think maybe gio was right about me taking 2/3 years to lose the last 84lbs...i've seriously been stuck at this weight for like a month now..i am so beyond frustrated. but i did lose half an inch from my chest and waist if that means anything. i don't know what is wrong. i think maybe i do need another fill. i probably should. and another thing is i'm not gaining weight, but i'm not losing either. i eat whatever i want and i don't gain. that is so weird because usually if i eat an
Day one to my adventure..The pre op diet is killing me...Hungry hungry.. but I will live, lord knows I have a few fat cells that my body can use for energy...Bought plan tickets, deposit is made, so we are on like donky king! I am so excited to get this band put in. I can't wait to be healthy again... =D>
So besides begin hungry I am ok, a few headaches today, but with good medicine they are gone.
Update on my road to Mexico tomorrow.
KC
Day two--I starved BUT I didn't go off plan!
D
I have had my band in for almost 2 months. My first fill was 2 weeks ago. This past week, I emotionally overate for about 4 days in a row. I ate when I wasn't hungry. I started to get heart burn and food stuck as it went down(lots of pain), but I never threw up. Now, I am trying to get back on track with eating only 1000-1200 cal/day, but I can only eat soft foods and my stomach is in a lot of pain whenever I eat. I am constantly hungry and thinking about food. Do you think I could have stretche
me and gio just got back from california we were in san diego then decided to drive to LA! yessss i love LA. i so want to live there! it was lots of fun! i worked out in the fitness room for the hotel. walked and jogged on the treadmill for 40 minutes, 2.2miles, and burned 200+ calories or so the machine says i was going to go swimming in the pool but everybody decided to go out to the pool so i was like uh nevermind. anyways i've been spending all my money on new smaller sized clothes of cour
Ok so my surgery was on 1/12/09, and did a strict Optifast pre-op diet for one week prior. I lost 10 pounds on the pre-op diet, and only 5 more pounds in the two weeks after surgery. I still have one more week of liquids left before I get to eat real food again, and I am really looking forward to that!
I am a little perplexed as to why I haven't lost more than five pounds in the past two weeks...I have only been on liquids, but I guess I have to feel the restriction from real food to really
Wow this second fill got me. I got .55 of a fill and though that was next to nothing but I sure can feel it. I can not eat the way I was. Sometimes I feel things go down and it is painful. I really need to work on the chewing issue and not eating so fast. People at work say I am losing but the scale is not reflecting this. I am concerned that my stomach is not shrinking. I really am not sure I am losing. Maybe my scale is wrong. I dont know. I may have to get on my eliptical machine and really g
i need another fill. the weight loss is slowing down severely. one pound a week is not going to cut it. i can eat wayyy too much again. yesterday i ate this huge huge plate of salad with three eggs, a whole tomato, like 4 ounces of mozzarella and after eating it i was still hungry! can you believe it!?!
gio wants to go to sd next weekend maybe i can do it then, but i usually go with my mom and well i don't know...i mean i just don't want to be like oh hey gio by the way i need to hop on over
so me and gio just got back from san diego. it was lots of fun but very tiring. i got two speeding tickets great now i have to go back to barstow...we got a nissan murano and that car is ridiculously fast like really fast. i was clocking over 100 and i didn't even realize it. each time the cops were so mad at me and made me get out of the car because they thought i was drunk but of course i wasn't. i know all of you guys are going to think i'm really stupid for driving so fast and being complete
WOO HOO ! =D>
I DID NOT FEEL LIKE I WAS LOOSING ANYTHING ON THIS LIQUID DIET FOR POST-OP UNTIL I STEPPED ON SCALE THIS EVENING....
I HAVE LOST 10 POUNDS IN ONE WEEK - UNREAL - I HAVE NEVER LOST THAT MUCH WEIGHT IN A MONTH..BUT IN A WEEK
I HAVE NOT HAD A FILL, JUST CHANGED MY EATING HABITS TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF MY POST-OP LIQUID DIET
WHAT A GREAT JUMP START, I AM SURE WEIGHT LOSS LIKE THIS WILL NOT CONTINUE AT THIS RATE SO I AM GOING TO CELEBRATE
IT WHILE I CAN. I AM SURE ALOT OF THIS
It's been more than a couple months since my LBL, If you remember,, Dr. Martinez pulled .5cc's out of my band the day before my LBL. I've really missed the restriction and gained 15 lbs during recovery. Today I made a trip up to Oak Brook Illinois to Synchrony Health and had a band adjustment. They added .3cc's and we'll see if this will put me back on the weight loss track. I know that I had .5cc's pulled in October,, but I didn't want to take the full .5cc's at one fill. I remember I may have
Banded 01-06-09 excited about my new journey. First thing I saw upon entering house was all the junk food I love soooo dearly.
I am already missing the taste of food and I am quickly understanding the difference between the physical hunger and the just wanting to eat
because it tastes good or smells good. It is like my junk food junkie fix, if it tastes good, I feel good. My time has come to find other things to
bring me pleasure. I can not expect everyone else in the house to give up things
Well, after months of planning I am finally within a week of my surgery date! On Monday I will be traveling from Buffalo to San Diego, and then on to Dr. Ortiz! I can't believe I am so close now! I am looking forward to dropping this weight, and shedding some bad habits.
I know that being thin isn't the beat all end all especially if you don't like yourself inside. Luckily for me when I look at myself in the mirror I don't hate what I see...I just hate how she looks. Here's to a new outw
today me and jeri walked like 6 miles to a park, it took us 2 hours! well we walked to the park and skated around for awhile. it was sooo fun and funny! jeri fell like really hard and now her ankle is swollen and she can barely walk on it. then we were supposed to get her a tattoo for her birthday present which is in 2 days but instead i got one haha i didn't even really want another one but i guess my tattoo artist was just like ok lets do this and i was like uhhh ok whatever...oh man...oh yeah
