I guess I have nothin to say because I keep typing, deleting, typing, deleting...I just want to know that someone is out there who has been where I am and they get through this feeling. I will go get another fill, so I can eat less still. There's got to be more to this than the food issues. I am so tired of looking in the mirror at myself and not liking what I see!! How did I let myself go like this? Nobody looks anymore. I hope that changes. Good night.
I went out to breakfast for Mother's Day, had a veggie burger with bacon. That's right. With onion rings. I ate it slowly and got most of it down without pain, never did feel really full, then felt sick all day. I have 5 cc's in my band now so I shouldn't be eating that much but it was like the floodgates opened and I could eat....so I ate. Needless to say, I really haven't lost any weight, what did I expect, that the fat would melt away? It's not, nothing has changed. Except that sometime
Last night my cell phone died in the middle of text central...3 friends, my son, and my little brother, all looking to see what my plans were for surfing this morning. 8am, let's do it! So I decided to charge the phone and go to bed...and when I awoke at 7 this morning, the backyard was coverred in fog...good...here come the texts, where am I, what am I doing? I'm still in bed waiting for the fog (and mental fog) to lift...but i couldn't wait...the excitement was too much...had to get the boa
So after my husband's nice morning comment yesterday about how he will still love me when I am skinny, he left for work, and he didn't come home...all day...till 11pm. I didn't ask him where he'd been or anything at all, but this morning he started talking, apologizing...blah blah blah...telling me he missed talking to me, that he was so sorry for mistreating me, that he wanted to rebuild our relationship...I always let him off the hook so easily...I am so weak! But I hate holding grudges...so
I am so grateful for all of you on this forum, I realize I am not alone, even though my husband has left town and we havent talked to each other in 10 days...I don't know where he is or when he is coming home...or if he is coming home. I know I made the right decision for myself and this is the hard part...getting through these next few weeks of eating with no fill, not losing any weight...I better start my period today, I am late! And I can't even GET pregnant...WTF??? I am usually a peacefu
As I am struggling 12 days post surgery- (I'm a little dense I guess, I finally went and bought some protein shakes today because I am tired of feeling weak and defeated...so we'll see how things look in a couple of days) ...I have to reflect...I had no idea food was such a big part of my life. Talk about absence making the heart grow fonder! I always ate and never thought...now I have to think and it's alot of work! Having the willpower to stay away from food...woooow....what a challenge! I
