sometimes i'm really really stupid...i'm going to stop now.
gio and i made up. i started to be more pleasant and more like myself. i guess it worked because it reminded him of why he loves and wants to be around me in the first place. sometimes he would say something rude or try to be mean but he realized i wasn't being rude/mean back or being pouty. but i did get upset once last night because he said i smelled so i walked away from him then he walked over to where i was standing and said oh wh
i feel so low right now. completely crushed. gio just told me that i have a pouty attitude and that i'm too needy....omg that's the killer. its just i love him so much and he knows everything about me. of course i'm going to need him...but i guess he feels suffocated or something???? i try to leave him alone. like i won't call or text him and he always calls and text me and wants to hang out. but i guess when we hang out i haven't been the most pleasant person. he thinks i take him for granted a
good news- i lost 2 more lbs. bad news i'm really 5'5 and i have small bones. i got an x-ray and went to the doctors yesterday. i'm a small frame so technically my goal weight should be like 110-120lbs...ugh how annoying and this whole time i thought i was getting almost to my goal weight and this happens. i'm set back once again and it's frustrating but at least i know the truth now. anyway i'm looking at this chart and it said 130 is still ok for a small frame 5'5 women so maybe i'll just l
so weird! last night i ate a krispy kreme boston creme filled donut, tortilla chips, chocolate, bubblegum, and a taro boba which is the equivalent to a starbucks frapp because it has 3 scoops of vanilla icecream in it..and I lose 2lbs!?!!!!!! what is going on????!!!! i can eat for a whole week straight of good healthy food, salads, fruits, yogurt, lean protein, good fats, like nuts, etc ..and the scale will not budge! but the week i eat everything junk i lose 3lbs that refused to come off for an
yesssss 1pound lost today!!! and all it took was me to eat a plate of 7layer bean dip and chips, cup of noodles, 2 cups of juice, dark chocolate...see basically nothing but junk and i lost weight?!!! and i only ate all that food because i was at work. i think i emotional eat at work because i hate HATE it there...i'm just over it and i don't want to be there anymore. but i'm too comfortable to quit and get another job because i have "seniority" and i'm not going to find another job that pays tha
i'm starting to think maybe gio was right about me taking 2/3 years to lose the last 84lbs...i've seriously been stuck at this weight for like a month now..i am so beyond frustrated. but i did lose half an inch from my chest and waist if that means anything. i don't know what is wrong. i think maybe i do need another fill. i probably should. and another thing is i'm not gaining weight, but i'm not losing either. i eat whatever i want and i don't gain. that is so weird because usually if i eat an
me and gio just got back from california we were in san diego then decided to drive to LA! yessss i love LA. i so want to live there! it was lots of fun! i worked out in the fitness room for the hotel. walked and jogged on the treadmill for 40 minutes, 2.2miles, and burned 200+ calories or so the machine says i was going to go swimming in the pool but everybody decided to go out to the pool so i was like uh nevermind. anyways i've been spending all my money on new smaller sized clothes of cour
i need another fill. the weight loss is slowing down severely. one pound a week is not going to cut it. i can eat wayyy too much again. yesterday i ate this huge huge plate of salad with three eggs, a whole tomato, like 4 ounces of mozzarella and after eating it i was still hungry! can you believe it!?!
gio wants to go to sd next weekend maybe i can do it then, but i usually go with my mom and well i don't know...i mean i just don't want to be like oh hey gio by the way i need to hop on over
so me and gio just got back from san diego. it was lots of fun but very tiring. i got two speeding tickets great now i have to go back to barstow...we got a nissan murano and that car is ridiculously fast like really fast. i was clocking over 100 and i didn't even realize it. each time the cops were so mad at me and made me get out of the car because they thought i was drunk but of course i wasn't. i know all of you guys are going to think i'm really stupid for driving so fast and being complete
today me and jeri walked like 6 miles to a park, it took us 2 hours! well we walked to the park and skated around for awhile. it was sooo fun and funny! jeri fell like really hard and now her ankle is swollen and she can barely walk on it. then we were supposed to get her a tattoo for her birthday present which is in 2 days but instead i got one haha i didn't even really want another one but i guess my tattoo artist was just like ok lets do this and i was like uhhh ok whatever...oh man...oh yeah
hey hey happy new year! so last night and earlier this morning i went to a party with gio and his friends right. so anyway there is this like drunk girl talking to us and i guess she knows him and his friends or whatever and i was like oh she's pretty and skinny...then a conversation started up where she revealed that she used to weight 220lbs i looked at her and was like hmm interesting then she was like yeah i weigh "a buck thirty"now but i used to weigh 220...then i asked her how she lost the
so mario wants to "trim down" not lose weight but lose body fat. today i was whining about being 30% body fat..then mario said yeah i want to lose my body fat and i was like what body fat?! i got mad because i said if i was to eat like bad for an entire week i would gain some kind of weight back while they would maintain. so not fair. then mario said we would probably actually lose weight if we ate junk and i was like WHAT?! then he was like yeah it just goes right through our system..probably b
i can feel myself getting stronger and healthier as each day passes. i feel lighter, breezier..alive. tomorrow is my 23rd birthday. if i had my way i would have gone sky diving into sweet oblivion because that's exactly how i feel. jumping out of a plane and flying through the air is the only way i could describe this feeling. i have never felt so free. wow, i wonder how it's going to be after i lose this last 90lbs and get to my goal weight?...i'll probably feel like i am flying. i would never
it's snowing in VEGAS!!! it's been snowing all day! i can't believe it, everything is white!
i weighed myself and i'm the same weight. thank you! then i measured myself and i lost another inch from my waist and hips! wow! i am so shocked and this whole time i felt like i gained at least 5lbs back and 24375027406 inches back! i'm just so scared of gaining any of that weight back...i don't ever want to go back...i used to have nightmares where i would binge eat and i couldn't stop..i would wake
i've been eating cookies, chips, chocolate, basically any type of sweets for the past several days. i can't eat real food. everytime i try to eat a regular meal the food will get stuck. i'm kind of annoyed with myself. i feel like i've gained a bajillion pounds once again and i probably won't make my goal for my birthday/new year. the boys want to take me to disneyland for my birthday but nothing has been discussed or finalized as of yet maybe we'll talk tonight about it. giovanni has been too "
so i went out looking for that white pullover in a L at several old navy stores and nothing! i was super annoyed but then i got something better!!!!! :D
http://www.aeropostale.com/product/index.j...rentPage=family
in a size L! not an XL but an L! it's jr sizes like a slim fit so sizes run smaller..HOW EXCITING!!!!!!!!!! i'm so happy! i didn't realize i had lost so much inches. i know last year around this time i would have never ever ever fit into a jacket that small. i probably couldn't
i went to old navy yesterday and got this
they only had XL available and it's too big. i hate it but i love the style and color and the cute little fur hoodie thing. i should have gone to another old navy and see if they have it in large but old navy kind of runs a size bigger so i should get a medium. i love everything fitted now because if i wear baggy stuff i look weird and i feel weird. like my old hoodies that used to be snug on me are all loose on me now. i hate looking in the mirror b
yessss 2lbs! i'm ECSTATIC! this is super wonderful! so 25 more lbs to lose by birthday/new year's goal! i think i can do this. yes i will do this!
also about gio it's all good. he can do whatever it doesn't bother me or affect my life one bit. i know where i'm going and what i'm doing so yeah. yeah so what he knows about my weight loss goals and how much i weigh..i mean that just makes me a better person for trying to eat right and get in shape instead of being obese and dying of heart attack
anyways you know how when you eat like really bad and then you feel as if you gained all the weight back?? then you even look at yourself in the mirror and think i got fatter!?!! well i seriously think thats just all in your head. no my cheeks did not get fatter because i ate some chips and no my belly did not extend back out either and yes i am the same measurements. but you always feel like more swollen and just plain disgusting when in reality you are exactly the same. your mind can really me
i am completely and utterly MORTIFIED! Giovanni read my DIARY and almost every page since august has been about him!!!!!!!!!!! he then continued to read the most embarrassing things i would say about him like how i have the biggest crush on him and how he's so cute and how much i love love love him ( #-o oh i can't believe this. he just thought it was sooooo amusing then he just hugged me and told me he loved me even more than before now that he knew how i really felt. ugh i just wish he did
with myself. i have been eating non-stop for the past week! any and every food possible! i hate this. i feel like i've gained 4896738576 bajillion pounds alone this week! i am so ashamed. there are so many left overs and feel like such a waste to buy salad when there's like left over thanksgiving food to last an entire month! but i know i can't continue to eat like this the entire month but it sure is saving me lots of money. but no i must STOP! anyway gotta go gio is coming over and we're going
so i've realized that people are leaving me comments because i get a notification in my email about it. but when i come on to view the comment i never see anything..so i would like to apologize to people that have left me comments and think i'm ignoring or deleting them or something because i'm not. i really can't see them. i don't know if it's because of my settings or what. so i don't know what to do about that but you can always message me
on another note somebody told me we can't digest c
so my co-worker asked me if i was losing weight and i said yes i am, then he goes how much and i say 102...you should have seen his face when i said that. he had a look of shock and awe. it was soo funny. like he just got punched in the face or something hahahaa. then he goes wow so how much more do you have to lose and i said ehh 100 and he was like what really and i was like yeah. then he goes well keep it up you're looking really good
so ever since me and gio had our talk i've just kind of
so guess who decides to call me asking to see me???! GIOVANNI mmhmmmm that's what i thought! so you know how i was really upset/annoyed/angry at his decision to blow me off when i wanted to hangout that thursday and i made him well aware of it. i was like oh you decide you want to hang out with me now after you're done with your more important friends huh?!!! RUDE! then he was like well fine if you don't want to hang out then i can just not see you till i come back in 9 days and i was like urg
i posted an old pic of me 2 months before i got the surgery done which was basically at my highest weight ever. it's severely embarrassing and i can't stand to look at it too long because i didn't realize i was so big. ugh. the other day mario was looking at an old pic of us together (which reminds me i should post that as well) and he said you don't even look the same. he said he had to do a double take because he didn't believe that was me before and that was only last year. mario never really
