i've been doing very well on my diet. I haven't started exercising yet, because i never have time! But i got to find a way to start exercising again. work is good. everybody has pretty much mellowed out which is great or maybe its just me that has mellowed out?? well i'm just trying to be good and keep out of trouble. its funny because every time i'm quiet everybody always thinks something is wrong with me. haha! i'm enjoying the more serious mature side of me
this lady at work found out
I feel like a fraud. i didn't go back on my diet. i was doing good for half a day and something just hit me. before i knew it i was being served smores and had chocolate dripping on my face. ugh......MARIO! everytime i'm around him and he's being "bad" i just want to be bad too. Its so funny because he's part of my inspiration and also a part of my destruction! anyway i think i'm over it now. i ran out of food spending money and accidentally over-drafted my account ( now they charge 34 dolla
great..i just wrote like two long paragraphs and they erased because i refreshed the screen. whatever. so here's the fast update:
-i love mario
-indulgence week is over
-i'm back on my health diet
- i refuse to be the third wheel or "second rate"
-no caffeine
-exercising again
-swimming all summer
-i'm jealous of skinny pretty girls and i hate them all.
-nevermind i take it back...
-"be honest, be yourself"..pretty much the best advice ever said to me by my mom
-i love my mom
so i'm back from the wedding, and dancing all night with a group of like 15 people. it was fun. i mean i didn't really know know any of the people but they were cool. so i kind of had this crush on this guy at the wedding and so did everybody else. anyway this girl that knew my mom and aunt was hanging around me all night so we just bonded. anyway she was like that guy is so hot and i was like i know! then she asks me to go dance with her and all the family because "hot boy" was dancing now too.
my mom just measured my height right now and i'm 5'6!!!!!! i don't believe it! when did i grow?! well i guess the last time i did measure my height i was like 18 and i just assumed i was the same height now because i thought you stop growing when you reach a certain age..well i'm happy!!!! i always wanted to be 5'7 but 5'6 is still great! hmm i am 22 now so maybe i have stopped growing?.. well wow! for the longest time i thought i was still 5'4 1/2!! yayaya now i'm 5'6 yayaya! it must be true be
ugh i hate vegas. dumb buffets and dumb "2 for 1" deals that who in their right mind would ever pass up!?!! maybe someone trying to lose weight?! NOT! ...my "indulgence" week is still going full speed ahead and i can't stop! well i know i'm going to stop because it gets old..you know eating whatever you want with no consequences. i noticed i eat when i'm really really happy. and i'm super happy right now. i never eat when i'm sad or mad. when i'm sad/mad i like to workout or do something active
so um i fell off the wagon...i couldn't help myself! it was mario's fault! he had these chips and he was waving it my face and i just went gimme gimme and well...here's the thing i'm not mad at myself. i figure i need to give myself some room to be "bad". i mean everyone has a bad day and i'm not going to beat myself up over it. i'm losing weight and i'm keeping it off, so that right there is a huge accomplishment. because of the lap band i know i will never put it back on. i know there are chan
ok so i'm cool today. i gave my two bestfriends a piece of my mind so they know exactly where they stand with me. the first one is the one in sf who upset me which in turn made me get super serious about my lifestyle change. we wrote more but this is pretty much the important part:
On Sat, Jul 5, 2008 at 4:15 AM, M wrote:
when you've managed to push me away for the last time will you get it then? don't think i'm just being "crazy mal" when i really do stop returning your email/calls/texts for
i am heartbroken right now. I feel like love is not real. not just love between lovers or husband/wife but love in general...between friends, siblings, HUMANITY. i feel like everybody is fake and only cares about themselves. there is no loyalty, no heart, no love. i am so sick of it. i want to run away. i want to run far far away. i've realized i'm always going to be second best. i'm never number one. i'm the back up girl. i'm the one that everybody uses when their real number is busy or gone. i
yaya so i'm so happy right now because we were out all day with the kids! we brought them to a museum, desert exhibit, farmer's market, and then pre-fireworks at the park! it was the longest day ever but it was sooo much fun! So of course everybody was eating regular food like fast food or park food with the booths but I just refused to eat any of it. I got a salad and ate as many fruits I could find. I kept hydrated all day probably drank at least 8 bottles of water so that's good. I lost anoth
Ok i would first like to say that I'm a very independent young lady. I hate to depend on anyone for support. Co-dependency is not my thing. In relationships I like to be free and do as I please. I ask that the other person is the same exact way. I cannot stand someone clinging onto me. I hate the feeling of having to have someone because you depend on that person to make you feel a certain way. May it be happiness, love, security, etc. I can't do it. I don't want to do it. I much rather make mys
Today was rough..
My coworker/friend is 5'5 and weighs 122lbs. She is trying to gain weight. I joke with her and say oh you're only 3lbs away from being perfect. So she constantly eats and she sits right next to me. I used to eat with her and she would always share her food with me. But now since I'm on a diet it's torture to be near her. She offered me her dumplings and I had to turn them down. She then had lasagna while I ate a salad. My salad was delicious, but did I ever mention my favo
I just got back from attending a birthday party and dancing all night with my main bestestboy-friend Of course there was birthday cake at the party and man did I really want to just stick my face in it to indulge! #-o I didn't I just smooshed the fork around on the plate. I think the motion of picking up a fork and moving it around on plate was comforting enough for me. Whoa...I think that sounded really weird???...but in a way it satisfied me just to do that and not eat the cake. There wa
So I'm nervous about this weekend. Fourth of July! The picnics, the parties, the bbqs...all the food. My friends are throwing a party and I'm going to look like a weirdo if I don't eat any regular stuff like a hot dog or chips. Then there is a wedding on the 11th and a potluck on the 12th.
my coworker asked me if i was losing weight and i said yes. She told me she could really see it in my face and that i looked good. ha. My friend/coworker always comments how I'm losing weight and look so go
so she wrote back...
I was annoyed you weren't understanding what i was saying so i wanted to end the conversation so you got that i was annoyed, sorry. And i don't do it to anybody or everybody I do it to people who can laugh at themselves therefore not hate me for laughing with them and then we can laugh at each other. but when i'm joking i'm joking. I realized i was rude so i apologized. and i never apologize.
whatever...i don't even care to respond. She's so stupid. Making fun of a person
so my bestfriend/sister (yeah the one in sf that pissed me off because she made a "joke" about me being fat) emailed me and said this:
Also, sorry if i'm mean to you, i don't want to be mean i just want to make a joke and it be a low blow and then that person realize its a joke but still get the idea that i don't give a f*** what they say. ok i guess i do mean to be mean. S***. Sorry!!
I wrote this back:
low blows aren't cool when that person means something to you. you really did piss me of
wow temptation hit hard today..
so today i went out with two of my friends (different group from last night). first we went shopping then they decided to eat. I got really nervous because I felt pressured to eat. I mean they weren't telling me to eat or anything but I felt like if I didn't I would look awkward. plus they were having mexican food and I was like OMG BURRITO!...eh. but then something hit me and I said no. I just walked away and said eh i'm not going to get anything I have granola
i hate going to the movies because i always want to snack on popcorn or candy. My absolute favorite is hot dogs from the movie theaters. Hot dogs are so much more satisfying while watching a movie on a big screen for some weird reason. Then there is the smell of food in the air as you sit in the theatre that just gets my mouth watering. But i survived I didn't eat any popcorn, candy or hot dogs.
Another thing i really hate is fast food restaurants. When you're hungry you just want to stop at t
so I'm really upset because i just got back from San Francisco visiting my bestfriend who is more like a sister to me because we've known each other for 8 years and we've been inseparable since. anyway I'm really mad at her because she knows i got the surgery done and how rough its been for me my entire life with the struggle of my weight. so of course I'm basically on vacation and of course i eat whatever i darn feel like! burrito here some gelato here whatever...anyway she was like "wow you ju
whoa i have been sooo busy! so many friends so little time! i've just been on the go from this party to the next it's crazy! i didn't realize i had so many friends! anyway i think it has finally come down. christmas was super fun spent the morning with the boys;jake and mario.
then at night went out to a Vietnamese restaraunt with family and family friends.
new years eve was a blast! spent it with gio at a friend's party so much fun!
new years day was awesome as well spent it with gi
