So I'm nervous about this weekend. Fourth of July! The picnics, the parties, the bbqs...all the food. My friends are throwing a party and I'm going to look like a weirdo if I don't eat any regular stuff like a hot dog or chips. Then there is a wedding on the 11th and a potluck on the 12th.

my coworker asked me if i was losing weight and i said yes. She told me she could really see it in my face and that i looked good. ha. My friend/coworker always comments how I'm losing weight and look so good. I can feel it in my clothes and see it in my face. I can't wait until I get to my goal weight which is very, very low but I know I can achieve it. According to the height and weight charts my goal weight is ideal. I'm 22 so I think I can definitely get there and i want to be ideal while I'm young...actually forever I'm not sure if i want to be "perfect", I just want to be healthy and not have complications due to my weight especially if it could be prevented. I really don't want diabetes, or a heart attack before I'm 30. So that's why I'm so serious about this now. I've realized I'm running out of time. I don't want to wake up 20 years from now still obese and miserable, thinking to myself, what happened..

Well writing all that and re-reading it made me realize what I need to do. Fourth July party, potluck, and wedding are all just going to have to accept that this is not the same girl. I'm different now, for the better, and I mean it. I just have to remember who I am doing this for, which is myself. If I truly love myself, I will not deter from my goal.

My other coworker keeps pestering me to go to del taco It's sorta an inside joke, because I used to drive to del taco on my breaks and get us food. This was way before I got the surgery done though. But he constantly brings it up. He's always like "oh I can go for some DT right now how about it?!"...and i just shake my head no, telling him I'm on a diet. Then he just rolls his eyes and says "leopards don't change their spots". He really annoys me, but he's old and had a heart attack a few months back so I just leave him alone since he's probably going to croak over. Sorry if that was mean but he's just as mean by saying I can't change. He doesn't even know me. It's just going to be really funny when I lose all my weight and I can say "hmmm looks like this leopard got stripes."