i can feel myself getting stronger and healthier as each day passes. i feel lighter, breezier..alive. tomorrow is my 23rd birthday. if i had my way i would have gone sky diving into sweet oblivion because that's exactly how i feel. jumping out of a plane and flying through the air is the only way i could describe this feeling. i have never felt so free. wow, i wonder how it's going to be after i lose this last 90lbs and get to my goal weight?...i'll probably feel like i am flying. i would never want to ever come back down...and i probably won't. just thinking about that thought alone has my mind racing with anticipation and my heart flooding with hope...the bright future. my bright future!

this is going to be the greatest summer ever! i just made the boys promise to go skydiving with me. i want to go white water rafting as well! i just want to do everything that i couldn't have possibly ever dreamed of doing because of my "limitations". haha mario said we should go jump off some cliffs! yesssss!! that's exactly what i want to do! i'm so excited! this summer i know in June i will be in a healthy weight range. i will finally be normal. exactly what i've always wanted, exactly what i've always dreamed of...

oh look what i found reading my old journal entries:

August 6, 2008

http://www.healthcentral.com/cholesterol/h...t-2774-143.html

Home Body Fat Test

You have 33.8% body fat.

You have 86.5 Pounds of fat and 169.5 Pounds of lean (muscle, bone, body water).

and now...

December 21, 2008

You have 30.2% body fat.

You have 66.4 Pounds of fat and 153.6 Pounds of lean (muscle, bone, body water).

yipeee i lost 20lbs of fat! i would have hoped it would have been all of it! but i guess you can't be all muscle, bone, and body water unless you're a body builder or professional athlete of some sort. i'm neither and i definitely don't ever want to be. but it would be kind of fun to be really, really good at a sport. like being able to out run everybody..ha i just had a silly day dream that i would race everybody and won because i was so fast..hmmm i wonder...maybe i'll think about making it a reality

i was just wondering how much body fat are we supposed to have? i found this answer:

We carry two kinds of fat in our bodies, essential fat which is stored in small amounts in bone marrow, organs, the central nervous system and muscles, and is needed for the normal, healthy functioning of all these body systems, and "storage" fat, which is stocked for energy. For men, essential body fat makes up about three percent of total body weight. For women, the percentage is higher - about 12 percent - because it includes amounts in the breasts, pelvis, hips and thighs believed necessary for normal female reproductive function.

For a woman of 25, a healthy range of body fat would be between 21-32 percent. This can increase slightly with age, to 23-33 percent for women between 40 and 59 and to 24 - 35 percent for those over 60. The healthy ranges in men are from 8-19 percent for those between the ages of 18-39, from 11-21 percent for those aged 40 to 59 and 13-24 percent for those over 60.

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA53794

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well all i know is a girl is not supposed to be carrying around an extra 90lbs (66lbs of fat) on her 5'6 frame. good thing i'm fixing that right