so mario wants to "trim down" not lose weight but lose body fat. today i was whining about being 30% body fat..then mario said yeah i want to lose my body fat and i was like what body fat?! i got mad because i said if i was to eat like bad for an entire week i would gain some kind of weight back while they would maintain. so not fair. then mario said we would probably actually lose weight if we ate junk and i was like WHAT?! then he was like yeah it just goes right through our system..probably because they are nothing but muscle..how annoying. then i was like ugh its so hard for woman to lose and keep weight off because our bodies just love to cling to any and all fat! i guess its for the whole having babies thing...

i've been eating pretty horrible. sweets galore..i'm disgusted with myself. but i have picked up a good habit. drinking green tea..they say it helps to aid in weight loss. i think i need another fill, i can eat wayyy too much. i need to ban sweets. i kinda banned chips. i can't remember the last time i opened a bag of chips and ate it. i need to think of cookies and anything covered in chocolate as DEATH! exactly how i feel about fast food and soda..it just screams heart attack and/or prime candidate for diabetes the rest of your life... i'm sorry but i really don't want to stab myself with a needle everyday. no sir i definitely don't need that.

well, i had a good birthday and christmas. spent it with mom and the boys. got lots of presents that i try to wear all at once

jeri comes to vegas for the new year and her bday. i'm excited to hang out with her. even though she pisses me off but i still love her. she's my sister forever and ever.

eeeshh i'm so restless i only have 88 more lbs to lose before i'm at my goal weight my DREAM finally coming true! i want to wake up so bad! i keep getting compliments left and right. i'm so grateful for all the kind words and encouragement that its making me even more restless than usual! i just want it so bad! so according to my new calculations if i just keep going at it i could be at my goal weight by august! hurry up summer already! funny how i have never thought that way ever. i dreaded summer because i knew i would get the stares from people because i was that person wearing a black hoodie mid summer heat wave, because i was embarrassed of my body. well that is done and over with now FOREVER!