Ok, so the loan paperwork is in. So far they have given me an ok but all the paperwork has to go to the bank for final approval. Appears they have called Dr. O to verify that I did set a date for the surgery. I talked to my boss, she thinks I am insane but approved the time off. The loan person said to wait to buy my airline tickets until he calls me on Monday. I have the money put away for that. I also have the money stashed for the rest of the payment. I need a total of $1700.00 to complete the costs, after the loan. So if they give me the loan, I am breaking into my savings to pay the rest. I will get a loan again my diamond if I have to.

Hubby is getting nervous. He has not asked for time off yet and I am pushing him to get on this. I want everything set up in advance. I dont like surprizes. My anxiety gets the best of me. I am very nervous about all this. I am going to really start watching what I am eating, I gained another two pounds this week. Not good. It could be water, it is the end of that time of month.

I worry about leaving my son for the weekend to get this done. I have never left him before. He is not going to understand. He is autisic and I am not sure how much he will understand that we are leaving him for almost 4 days. I think I am going to cry the whole time. He is my little angel.

My friend at work said she is going to work on me all of August to get me to change my mind. She is afraid that I am going to die from the surgery. She is freaking me out. I tried to explain everything to her, she is almost in tears. I found a dr to do my fills when I get back and my regular dr is very happy about me doing this, so I know that if there was a problem, I bet he would see me and help me. I tried to explain this to her as well. She is going to give me nightmares of dieing and leaving my son alone. She better knock it off.

All and all I feel ok about this. I just want everything lined up and hope to have it all ready by Monday. I am going to pray about it and if it is meant to happy it will.