i've been doing very well on my diet. I haven't started exercising yet, because i never have time! But i got to find a way to start exercising again. work is good. everybody has pretty much mellowed out which is great or maybe its just me that has mellowed out?? well i'm just trying to be good and keep out of trouble. its funny because every time i'm quiet everybody always thinks something is wrong with me. haha! i'm enjoying the more serious mature side of me

this lady at work found out she has diabetes. all last week she went on this crusade telling everybody how she's going to change her life and how we need to start changing ours...and guess what she's doing this week?? ...eating chinese takeout... but i figure its just one of those bad habits to break. so i don't judge because i do the same exact thing. one moment i'm all about eating healthy and on my diet, then the next i'm stuffing smores in my face..ehhh. i know i'm going to get off track once in a while, but i just have to get back on. i'm not going to beat myself up over it. i just have to keep reminding myself of why i'm doing this and reaching my dream. for the past 4 days i've been daydreaming about being skinny..i know its weird. i just imagine what i'm wearing and how cute it looks and how happy i am. i really really want to be at normal weight. i just want so badly to be normal.

i went out to breakfast with the boys this morning. i had oatmeal and they had the "jack deuces" special..basically that comes with 2 pancakes, 2 eggs, 2 sausages, 2 bacon, and toast, for yes, you guessed it.. 2.99! haha oh vegas...you gotta love this town my oatmeal bowl was HUGE. mario was like ha you're only going to eat like a quarter of that and i was like i know gosh! our other friend is jake. jake is 6'5 180-190lbs nothing but lean muscle mass. so they're both trying to gain weight (i think they're competing with each other..) because its so hard for them to keep it on, so they eat a lot. like a lot of food in the same amount of time it takes me to eat a quarter of my food. every time i'm around these boys i'm just like can you make me look anymore abnormal! ugh. but i love them. like i said before they are my inspiration to get skinny now! they keep on telling me to join the gym with them and i'm like um we wouldn't even be together because you guys would be lifting weights while i'm running on the treadmill but i guess they could always come and harass me or vice versa i really want to join the gym though. really soon, promise.

hopefully i won't mess up on my diet. i want to see if i can stay on for at least a month. just to say to myself look i can do it. i'm not just a two weeker... gosh i'm so disappointing sometimes. but anyway i'm going to sleep now so i could get up early to work out tomorrow! yippeeeee! i'm excited to get back on my exercising routine!