i've been having really REALLY bad sleeping and food habits lately. I've been waking up really late and staying up till morning. Then I've been eating hecka fast food. yesterday i didn't sleep till 9in the morning so i went to mcdonalds and got a breakfast meal complete with an extra sausage burrito. i haven't eaten mcdonalds in like over a year when i decided i was cutting fast food from my diet. i feel like crap. i don't know why i'm sabotaging myself. maybe because i feel stuck because i've been at the same weight for months and months...granted i haven't been doing much to continue losing the weight but i should know better that this isn't magic. i can't just expect to have a diet of candy, donuts and fast food and honestly expect to continue losing weight. AHHHH GET REAL MAL!

so that miami guy texted me today. wow. i'm just going to be polite. maybe he's deciding whether or not he's going to follow my rules. if he does then great.

i think me and gio are hitting the breaking point. all we ever do is fight. he always finds something to fight with me about and i usually say something like this "not fighting with you ttyl" or "I don't want to fight ttyl." he's always mad at me for something or another. if its not this its that. I just really can't do it anymore. he's always threatens to leave me and i'm so over it. at this point i'm like LEAVE THEN! at this point i could care less if he stays or not. because i'm not staying anymore. i'm not taking his crap anymore. my eyes are opening to the person he is. it really sucks because i love him so much. but now i know he will never love me as much as i love him. he doesn't know how to love. not me anyways...its kind of really pathetic because all i ever wanted was him. all i ever wanted was to be his friend. to be there for him and to love him. i would give him the moon if he asked for it..but i guess its just not enough for him

moving on...