*This is an email reply from me to a friend. We are talking fills. I have edited out the more personal information.*

I am pretty happy with my fill level. My portions are now down to a smaller portion. One that I am letting myself adjust too. In the mornings, like today, I am eating 3/4 of a banana. For lunch I am having shrimp with cocktail sauce. I am going to see how many # I can eat. Right now I stay satisfied longer. To be honest, I could skip breakfast and pry not miss it, but I don't want to get in that type of habit. My goal is to eat smaller portions of regular food. That way when I go on maintenance.......in the future, I am set to eat like a skinny person. If that makes sense. It's tempting to "abuse" this tool and really abuse my body in the process. I really am focusing on being a healthier person.

I am not pushing myself to get to goal by a certain date. I am living with this lifestyle. I do have goals. I'd have to say they are moderate. Like I want to see onderland in 2010. So that means for the year, I need to loose 35 lbs. min. That goal is totally obtainable. Since I have some good weight to loose yet, my first real solid # I am shooting for as far as a happy healthy weight is going to be in the 160-170 range.

Right now I am thinking realistic. I would love to be 140-150 range but, I am really not close to seeing that goal, so I am keeping it more real for right now.

I am noticing more with this fill that hunger is less and less of an issue. Holla! I really feel good about that. As far as PB's go, I've had less this time than any other fill. I am stoked over that. It tells me I am a better listener to my body! Thank heavens. The hardest part for me is feeling mentally satisfied with the amounts of food I can take in at a time. For instance, on the way back home, I bought a rice crispy treat. Peanut butter flavor with a layer of chocolate frosting. (yummy) It didn't take much to get me to feeling satisfied. I continued to piece meal on it till it was finished. End result, I PB'd cuz I couldn't put it away. : (

So, this is what I am finding out about myself. If I portion food out in smaller portions I am good to go. If I get something in a "regular size" portion, I struggle with the amounts. Even to the point of nibbling on the take out/ doggie bag portion after my meal. It bothers me to be wasteful, and in my family growing up, we had to clean our plates or set at the table till be were finished. I think that mentality has a lot to do with my OCD habits now dealing with what I just described. Anyway, so that tells me right there that I need to give myself time to adjust to my new portions.

At Christmas dinner, it was so good and satisfying. At the same time I left feeling deprived. It was that I had a small sample of everything, but I was unable to "really enjoy" a good portion of anything. That was hard for me.

I am striving for eating for nutrition, but more often than not I am eating for satisfaction. Anyway, that is where I am at with this fill.

If you feel you are ready for the next phase of fill, girl go get you some! I am telling you, the people I see who have made goal eat a lot less and use it to there advantage. Each fill is an adjustment. If you don't allow yourself to make good healthy steps to get there, you are short changing yourself in the future.

What I am saying in more laymans terms is if you don't eat the right foods and begin eating slider foods. That is where I personally think a bandster goes wrong.

For instance, I buy Chef Boyardee for my son in those little cups for meals in a pinch. The days when he is starving and I have not even begun to cook supper....you know....anyway.......IMHO those are sliders. No issue eating a cup of that cuz it slides right through with the sauce. For me, I want to eat the same type foods all the way through to goal. That way I am hoping maintenance will be doing exactly what I am already doing so there will be no adjustments. I live it.

If you are ready for a fill do it. It will help you in the weight loss battle. I was told to not mess around with fills in the very beginning. Which you can see I have not, hence fill #5. I have really listened to my body and went on what it was telling me. Despite the fact I felt like every time I called for an apt I got a vibe of you are coming in already.....yes! Yes I am! I am in control of my body, fills, and results. The Dr. I see says don't compare yourself to others success of fill level because everyone is different. A sweet spot for you may be something else for everyone else. In doing what I was told, I went through being eagle eyed about coming in so much. But hey, I was doing what was right for me. Now I am good, happy and content with my fill. It took me 5 fills! That is not your average that is for sure!