I've realized I'm not going to make my fortune in blogging. I don't know how people do it every day!

What I've experienced so far on my 17 or so days of liquid diet is that I'm not very hungry. Oh, I wanted to eat out of boredom. I even passed up going to a movie because I don't know how to enjoy a movie without throwing a bucket of butter flavored napalm covered popcorn down my gullet. I now have to learn to enjoy a movie for the movie's sake. You know, I never realized how much I don't care for movies without munchies!! I've got to break this relationship with food. Like someone said, it's a "love affair".

For all of you who are terrified of what's it's going to be like to not "eat" for 3 weeks all I have to say is, "meh, not that big of a deal". Boredom was the biggest problem. If I thought I was hungry I would really focus on my stomach and I realized my stomach felt full. I wanted different tastes so I made sure to have plenty of variety in the broth and creamy soup department. Popsicles too.

I did get hungry one night and texted my husband that I was finally dealing with some hunger. He helped by bringing home about 6 slices of pepperoni, mushroom, sausage, and breakfast bacon pizza with chicken wings. I could smell it before I knew he brought it home. I ended up chewing on a piece of sausage and spitting it out. I closed off the back of my throat so none would go down and rinsed out my mouth afterward. I don't recommend doing that because one could "go all the way" so to speak. Kinda like kissing nekkie and saying that's all you're gonna do!

For the most part though I was able to watch others eat and had NO desire to join them. I remember when I started suspecting that some of my newly skinny friends were not on the usual diet. Whenever food would come out they wouldn't whine about what they couldn't have or feel guilty about what they ate. There was no look of glee over the choices or look of longing over what they couldnt eat. The food was there and they took what they wanted when they wanted it and looked as if they could care less. There was no making sure they got their portion before the food ran out. That's how I feel now. For the most part I don't feel as if I'm missing out on anything and my hunger has been, for the first time, controllable!! Yay!!

I just realized that. I feel in control of my hunger for the first time. If I feel a pang I drink some more water or eat a popsicle and it passes. I am aware that others have felt hunger. Some have truly felt stomach hunger but some said they realized it was head hunger. That's where you're just want to eat for no other reason than to put something yummy in your mouth and chew. I had that but I was able to manage it.

I did add some clear seasonings to my broth to give it a different flavor (soy and fish sauce) and I got a wide array of creamy soups. Curry and Thai. No Mexican though. I couldn't find a Mexican flavored creamy soup. I looked for a cheese soup so I could add it to my tomato with beef granules and fool myself into thinking I was having pizza. My store didnt have cheese soup. I also looked for smooth creamy corn soup and thought to add some butter flavored extract. I'd take that to a movie and pretend it was popcorn. But alas, all corn soup is very chunky.

Speaking of corn, I didn't realize how much I love corn. I had it in one form or another every day. Corn tortillas, popcorn, corn chips, corn nuts, corn corn chicken and corn, colonel's chicken and kernels of corn. Based on what I've read I might be allergic to it because I crave it so much. Though that never made sense to me.

Ok, now about pain. I had very little right after surgery. Dumped the pills they gave me right away. But then I've had quite a few major surgeries. Back surgery to name one. I live with pain every day and the hardest thing was giving up my 9 Advil a day prior to surgery. So, maybe that's why the pain didn't seem so bad. However, I recently started getting a nasty pain in my port area. I'll call tomorrow to see if it's what I suspect. When I get up from bed it's as if I can feel gravity pulling my port down. I think while I'm laying still it's healing to a spot but when I get up and move it's kind of being torn from that spot. I'm sure in time it will anchor and heal. But for now.. ouchies. I took some kid's liquid Tylenol yesterday and put on a tight fitting tank top today to hold it in. That seems to do the trick. But nothing that I need pain meds for.

So far, I don't regret anything about having this surgery. Except not getting it done sooner. But God's timing is perfect.

Also, you will be surprised about who is supportive and who is not. But don't get into a family feud over it. I decided to tell people because a.) I didn't want to be in a medical emergency and not have those closest to me have that info b.) When people ask how I lost weight, and they will, I didn't want to lie. Though, I'm sure at some point my pride will get the best of me and I'll lie.

To sum it up, (and to steal someone's quote) us fatties have a love affair with food. It gets in the way of our life. For some of us it replaces our lives. Food becomes our friend, our companion, our lover, our confidante. Hey, even our shopping buddy. Cinnabon or Auntie Annie's Pretzels anyone? C'mon, which of you hasn't gone to the mall and thought, "Ooo, I'll get that blouse I need and I'll stop by and say hi to Mrs. Fields!"?

And don't tell me that all you eat is celery and you gain weight. Pfft. I don't believe it. Yes, you ate celery for lunch. But you also stopped and had a Big Mac with supersized fries and Coke on the way home. Just because you had a skinny lunch doesn't mean that the McDonald's meal didn't count. Take that story to a skinny person and maybe they'll believe it.

I know. I'm mean. But we're killing ourselves with food and I'm tired of making excuses and I'm tired of hearing them. I just want to be healthy and fit into smaller jeans!

Anywhoo.. that's it. Now get out and do something healthy for yourself!