He saw me, just a glance. He joked with me, He said dirty little things. I hear what he's saying. But right now I dont feel real good about myself. These extra pounds have affected my self esteem. Little pains that my body tells me daily, make it hard to jump out of this seat and tell him who I really am. I miss the old me. The one who ran up and down these halls. The one who played music for him and danced in front of him and showed him my passionate side. How truely lonely I get inside. How horrible to feel this way. It is not me. I am this frisky lady, who loves to have a good time. He would buy me the first drink and I will laugh my ass off as he told me his first little dirty joke. He played me like a fiddle. I can be strong for him, but inside, I want this weight gone and I want to be running down the street screaming, I am alive! I pray they dont stop this surgery from happening. There is no words to explain how badly, I need this to happen. How badly, he and I need to again be that little couple in the back of the room making out. This is our chance to start over. He can walk this way with me, start over. This has to happen. It is the only way. :lb12: