PamnLA

How are you doing now? I had lap band surgery 4 years ago, lost 88 pounds in 2 years and have kept it off for 2 years now. It took a while to get the right fill,but it worked.

You will "get" this title more as we go along. For now, let's just say it refers to the period of my life when my main focus was raising the two human beings I had produced. My concerns were minor compared to the awesome task of supporting and nurturing my daughters to adulthood. Mr. Willing was not much a part of this. In his defense, when he had said, "So, you're one of those women who doesn't want to have children?" after a night of competition disco dancing, I had answered, "Actually I'd like to have one. Do you want to help?" He replied, "Sure, I like to as long as I don't have to be responsible," and we were in business. He happily settled into my house as king of the world, but it was my income tax business and my paid support team that kept it all going. My younger daughter kind of sneaked in. Her big sister sometimes referred to her as "a terrible mistake", but I always refuted that, by saying, "Absolutely, not true. Calli was a happy accident.". She was my bonus. I was surprised at how difficult it was to get Papa to move along when the house became too small for both of us. Seemed that, in spite of his grouchy disposition, he was happy there. I was able eventually to get him to go - though he did leave behind his older daughter (10 years older than Minnie). Now I had three girls, ages 2, 5, and (God forbid) 15 - a preview of being a single mother to teenage girls. Yikes! In spite of the hard work and responsibility, I massively enjoyed those years. It was my great pleasure to create childhoods for my daughters. At Christmas another neighbor & I would take the entire crew of our block's kids - about ten of them - to Disneyland. We ate all the goodies and brought candy home. Friday's were game night sleepovers at our house. Thick greasy pizza was featured, along with popcorn, and more candy. We went to the movies and sneaked in our own sugary snacks, we had gourmet picnics before going to the Hollywood Bowl (fried chicken and pie), we were honored guests at McDonalds, and when Krispy Kreams came to LA, we were at the grand opening. We did do things that didn't involve food. I didn't try to eat the Beanie Babies we rose at 4 AM to pursue, but pretty much everything else was fair game. Somehow, my girls - thankfully - escaped obesity, because I ate all the leftovers. I would still, periodically, get totally disgusted with my ungainly girth and declare war on fat, go on a new fad diet and lose weight, but after each I would return to my old ways and gain back what I lost plus more. Sound familiar It's getting quite cold here in Starbuck's and I'm giving a huge college graduation party (both girls - it took 9 & 6 ears respectively, but they have finally done it!) next weekend so I have lots to do. Next entry I'll tell you more about the "seesaw" days. Maybe you can identify ...if you want to hear it. Do you?

Congradulations! Dreams do come true.

Thanks for your comment. I didn't know if anybody was even reading what I was writing. I am so glad you could relate to that high school moment. I believe the impulse to write comes from a desire to find a common experience along the road.

You're cute, Malinie. I have a daughter your age and one a couple years older. Young women rock - so full of hopes & thoughts, & dreams. Good luck as you sail the seas of life. I hope you get it all!!!

I entered adolescence only slightly plump & very self-coscienious. We moved out of the city when I was in middle school, and between 8th grade & high school I went through a transformation without even really knowing it. As a loyal reader of the teen movie mags of the day, I constantly compared myself to Annette Funicello and Sondra Dee. They seemed so perfect, and their lives so exciting. (Side note: In case you too young to know them, Sondra Dee died at about 60. Her rumored case of death, complications of anorexia nervosa, and Anette is a shut in due to multiple scierosis. Lives not so perfect after all). I went to a new school for high school. I remember walking into a full classroom and one of the boys saying for the whole class to hear, "Hey, don't worry, you can sit on my lap." In that minute my life took another turn, this time for the better. High school was a good time for me, class beauty, most popular, 2 nd alternate to Tennessee's Junior Miss. The world was my apple. This charmed existence continued to a greater or lesser degree, as I went off to college to study acting, though seven years in New York, and through a move to LA. Still I did experience swings in my weight & I still lived in fear of losing control and becoming the fat girl I knew was inside me. If my weight went up 10 or 15 pounds, which it did more than once, I'd go on some crazy fad diet and starve it off. After all, this was the days of Twiggy and we all believed you could never be too rich or too thin. Hell, I still beleve it, in spite of myself. I didn't give in to my destiny though until in my late 30s I said, "Wait a minute, I forgot something. Oh yeah, I wanted to have a baby.". I was separated from my husband of 15 years, and didn't want to get back together with him, so I started a search. I couldn't find Mr. Perfect on short notice, but I did find Mr. Willing. I had 2 babies in fairly quick order and came out of it with 60 to 70 pounds of extra weight. My prophecy had been fulfilled. Now my journey toward lasting weight loss began in earnest. More later.

I am an older woman. I love that euphemistic phrase. How old is an older woman? Not young, not old, but closer to old than young. That describes me alright. I won't say how old right now, though I will give clues as I go along... if you follow me on this blog adventure long enough you will figure it out. For the time being I don't want only women of a limited age range to be able to identify with my story. I would like to be able to appeal to men as well, but I think it is uniquely a woman's story. The focus of this story is weight and ultimately my ongoing experience with gastric banding. Many of the entries on these forums and blogs are from people who say they were always overweight (another euphemism - this one not a descriptive as the first. Is there just one certain, finite weight & a buzzer that sounds when we go over it?). There is a lesser, but significant, number of others who, like myself, were actually not "overweight" (no buzz) their whole life, but thought they were or knew with a certainty they soon would be. I come from a family of half thin, half fat people. On my mother's side nobody was fat except Aunt Mackie. She wasn't really fat, just a bit pudgy, but in a family of naturally thin people, she stuck out like a sore thumb. Grandma had done what she could to prevent it, allowing the rest of the family the rich blackberry cobbler she had made while Mackie munched on apple. It didn't work. Mackie's stubbornly thick body type persisted. She would have been queen of the thin in Daddy's family though. There was only one or two in his family who escaped without the family fat gene, and many were downright obese. For them it was the norm, & they embraced it, eating freely, & with gusto. This was the Hudson side of the family, Daddy's mother's side of the family. His father was not heavy, but he was the only one on that side by the time I could remember. Daddy's brother, Uncle Cecil, took after his father, tall and lanky, but Daddy was Hudson through & through - stocky from the beginning & seriously "overweight" (buzz, buzz) by 30. Mother had four sisters, a lively & colorful bunch of pretty fun loving ladies, but they were very judgement about weight. My perception was that, though they pitied Mackie and my father, they could understand why they didn't do something about it. It was also clear that it was repulsive. "I just don't understand why Mackie doesn't reduce.". I never thought about myself in relationship to any of this until I was about 7 or 8. I had two first cousins only, one on my father's side & one on my mother's side. The one on my mother's side was named Barbara and she was thin & beautiful, and I worshiped her. She was 12 years older than I was and good at everything. She was an artist and Aunt Mackie, a remarkable seamstress, had taught her how to sew. I remember like yesterday that summer. Barbara was making me a dress for school. They were visiting us in Memphis from Jackson, MS, where they lived. Barbara was fitting the dress. I was standing with my left arm up so she could get to my waist more easily to measure it, and she said, "Oh, Pam, you just don't look ". A funny way to put it, but I knew exactly what she meant. I had never had an awareness of my body before, but I couldn't lose that first awareness of it after that. I felt such shame at being on the Hudson side of fat and realized I must be disgusting. More later.

Thanks for your response. No, the bariatric surgeon that the plastic surgeon brought in to consult said the port should not need to be moved. It's basically as you say, any surgery brings a certain risk of infection. Apparently the bariatric surgeon feels the port is especially suseptible to infection. The bad part is he feels if an infection did develop it would be really difficult to clear up except by removing the band. They say the chance of infection is not great, but can't give me any percentages. I'm going ahead, and keeping my fingers crossed. I would be so sad to loss my band at this point.

Hey All, It's been quite a while since I've posted. I started my lapband journey at 218 Jan. 15, 2007. I now weigh 129. That's 89 pounds. It was a rather bumpy trip, but ultimately a were successful & happy one. I had two fills: 1.6 & then 2.3 in a 4cc band. Then came the acid reflux. I got scare & went for an unfill, which was probably the thing to do. Four months later I went back for a refill (gained 7 pounds, not bad) of 1.2. Somehow that was now enough, something to do with somewhat of a slip that never went completely back to normal. After a few months the GURD was back, but I babied it - sleeping with head elevated, not eating after 6PM, avoiding certain foods, etc. I was able to get to goal before I went for my current unfill. I have been doing Weight Watchers all along as well. I am so use to counting points now. The app for it on my iPhone is a big help. So since reaching goal & getting my last unfill, it's been 5 months & I've lost 3 more pounds. I've gained nothing!!!!! I'm very thrilled & happy. In a little more than a week I'm getting a tummy tuck. I'm a little worried because the doctor warned me that there is a small chance of getting an infection at the band's port site. Remote, but he says any surgery would pose some risk of that. He called in the bariatric doctor who agreed & said, though infection is unlikely, it is a possibility & would most likely result in needing to remove the band. I don't want to loss my band. Even unfilled I have some restriction if I eat too much or too quickly, and besides I may need to fill it again some day. What to do! Does anybody have any info or experience with this?

Personally I don't eat after 7 or 8 & go to bed around 11. It also helps to elevate you head with pillows. It's a problem that can come & go & is especially common in people who have had the band a year or more. My doctor here (not the one who did the surgery) said frequently the esophagus stretches some & inhibits the closing action which keeps food down.