GirlBarb

My band is so unpredictalble that some times it feels like I don't even have one. At other times, same time of day and same food will get stuck. And yeah I do take advandage of those times. but I feel bad after and wonder if somthing is wrong, do I need a fill? Am I causing damage by doing this? Then it will close up and I am glad that I didn't run in for a fill. I don't know if everyone has this same experience or not

Carrie you are an Angel !!! You really hit me with emotion. And I don't feel that much. I thought about this very thing this morning when I woke up and before reading you heartfelt post. I DON'T FEEL THE GOOD STUFF. I feel the hurt, pain, rejection, anger etc.... But rarely do I feel the LOVE of myself. I really need to work on that again, it is forien to me and because I was damaged as a child and not exposed to LOVE feelings it is work to bring that into my life now. BUT you have opened my eyes to what is really going on with me and I can't thank you enough. What you have taken the time to write is exactly what I needed to read and you are an angel speaking to me! I need to remember to LOVE myself FIRST. When I do that, everything is posible, Huge hugs to you Angle Carrie, you have left an impact on me and I thank you again and again.

Are you still planning to start the 5 day on Friday? Can you send me a copy of what you are doing? I have read a couple different ways of doing it and wonder what the right way is.

Why does being thin make me feel more powerful and yet make me feel vulnerable too? I almost feel like a fake in a thin body when I start getting closer to goal weight. This is crazy because I love clothes, and they look better without the body rolls, but I get told that I look sexy, and then I freak out and EAT. Insane, is it time for therapy or can anyone help me accept this and carry on? Therapy is so expensive and time consuming. Did I mention that I am an Engineer and want to do everything the easy way...there is no easy way to loose weight and keep it off, the band is a tool not an answer, it's part of a solution that is so complicated. But with the right mind set, I can do it and it is easier with the right additude, but then comes the remarks on how I look physically. Also and this is big for me, when I am totally there for ME, I am not there for others and I know that my relationships will suffer. I miss the other relationships and find it hard to balance between giving to myself and giving to others, and I get lonely after a while and miss others when I have been immersed in myself. I don't think that men or husbands want a wife that doesn't think about them as much. That is what makes them feel loved and cared for. It is hard to be torn between wanting them to be happy and putting so much thought and energy into staying on goal (changing old habbits) because it is ALOT of work physically but more so mentally. I love my husband and do not want a fourth divorce. I know the pattern from the past. See my album and the changes that weight makes on me.

I'm going to go on the 5 day pouch test on Friday also. Before, when I was really focused on the proecess I used a site called fitday.com to log all my food and exercise, it was free and it broke down calories and nutrition, it even told you when you would reach your goal weight. angie, you seem like a real firecracker LOL I am bumed that I have to keep losing the same weight over again after I loose it.

Michelle, It has been ages since hearing from you, I have also dropped off the radar and came back when you did. Sorry that there is upset in your life, and hope that it is only to make a better life for you. I have been through 3 divorces and am married to a man that I consider my best friend and soul mate. Ther can be happy endings, and not just in the Disney cartoons. I followed all the little black dress photos of you and was very inspired, but unlike you, I fell off the wagon and have not yet reached my goal. I have issues that I need to get through. Please keep posting, we need you here along with all the other members that suport each other and keep us honest. welcome back Michelle, Barb

I miss this poting site more than I realized. Reading your reply's has litterally brought tears to my eyes. You are all such a great sorce of strength. I am going to find the 5 day pouch test and let you all know (keep myself plugged in for help) how I do at finding out where my pouch is at. Thank you so much, hugs Barb

I was out cold after my surgery and Dr Ortez kept on checking in on me. My husband was by my side. When I finally did wake up my husband shocked me by saying that the doctor was a nice looking guy. He never comented before or after the doctor about how a mans looks...rarely does he even coment on females LOL

I want to thank anyone up front who understands and reads this, and I want to say that I am sorry if I have not been such a great roll model. It's embarassing to even write about this. I was down to 160 last April and now I am up to 176. The 160 didn't last long because I had been over filled (but still shocked to see 160) When the fill came down the weight went up. Once in a while I still slime, but in general I eat anywhere from 1.5 to 3 cups at a meal. Rarely 3, and usually 2 Cups. I blame my hormones or the fact that I have been in school full time for the last 7 monthes. I have low energy and don't push my self to exercise anymore. My house is on the market and I am on call to clean it up for showings. Disruptive! I just feel that I don't have the ability to focus on my weight loss life style if ANYTHING gets in the way, I put myself last. I can suceed when I am narrow minded on my journey with keeping strick logs of my food intake and calories...being religous about my exercise...reading the forum or going to group suport...I am so humbled (angry, disappointed, depressed, you get it?) to say that I cannot do this on my own. That being said...I DO LOVE my band, I am afraid to get more fill and I guess I need it with all I can eat. But being overfilled once and not being able to keep water down for two days made a real chicken of me. Also I know that I will miss eating the foods and vegetables that I eat now. Okay, I am a whinner, but it has been really hard for me to admitt how vounerable I really am. So tell me, how do I grow a back bone?

I would like to know the answer to this on too!

Hi Ronda, Is it an Infrared Sauna that they have at the spa? This one heats up your core, but is only 115 degrees to 130 degrees on the outside, unlike conventional saunas. I used to go to the YMCA and use the sauna there, I really miss it, it was so relaxing. take care, Barb

I would like to buy one of these and would like to make sure it will not interfer with my band, so please let me know if any of you use one of these? Please let me know? Thank you, Barbara

Hi All, I am interested in getting an Infrared Sauna and before I do I need to know?... Will it melt my band? Cause the fluid fill to boil? Cause any health related risk? There are so many benifits to get from the sauna, but not if it is going to hurt my band. Also they come in ceramic heater or carbon heater, which is better or does it not matter? The ceramic is a lot cheaper. Thank you for information you can share about this topic. Barbara

The TT does hurt and your doing everything right by planning on recovery. I had mine in the early 90's and it still looks great! It is so worth it. Best of luck to you. I would love to know how the thigh surgery goes, and what the results look like. I would love a thigh lift but have heard that the scars get very wide. Let me know if they have new ways of doing the lift? I have too much much in the "Y" area, if you know what I mean? Best of luck to you, happy happy happy Barb

I thought that I would give you an update. Today the doctor did a complete unfill, said I would gain weight but wants me to wait two weeks for another fill.

Thank you for your help. I called the doctor this morning and he called me BACK two times. I never called before and was surprised that he was so responsive. He is going to take some out tomorrow, Sunday. The good news is that I took a suposatory for nausia a couple hours ago and was able to get the most fluid inside of me...10 onces of water. It hasn't come up yet and it's been 20 minutes. I'll let you know tomorrow.

I was banded this past June and I still get painful twinges from the port. I don't worry, there is not an infection or raised sweeling in the area and it's not red at all. Keep an eye on it, if it bothers you too much, do check it out with a doctor.

This Thursday at 2:30 pm I had a fill (169 lbs). I had 1.9 in my band, she put in 1.0 extra, so I now have 2.9. She put the needle in and had me sit up (this did not bother me at all, I'm okay with needles) and had me drink while she filled me. Everything went down great, and I drank all the way home. Friday morning it took me 1 hour to drink a small cup of tea. And for the rest of the day I got tighter so that I was NOT able to keep 2 sips of water down. I though it would loosen up in the night time, so I took a hot bath and sipped some hot tea. I was NOT able to keep anything down and just wanted to sleep and be out of my misery. I would get woken up by choking on my spit that couldn't past through the band. I kept a cup by my bed because I got so tired of getting up to slime. I spit up 2 sips of water this morning, but I was able to keep down 1/2 cup of hot coffee. But in that day and half, I lost weight...161 lbs. If things don't improve by tomorrow morning, I am going to have to have some unfilled. Too bad that it is so unhealthy, because I am not hungry at all. I haven't slimmed in a couple of hours now. I called the doctor and he said I could wait it our until Sunday if I can pee 3 or 4 times today. Thanks for letting me share. Your banister buddy soul mate, Barb