1. Name: Jennifer S.
2. Location: Palm Beach County, FL
3. Age: 31
4. Band Date: 1/19/09
5. Married: Nerp! Had 2 long term relationships and a few years of single life recently
6. Children of the human or furry kind: 1 daughter (Savannah) - she is 6! Born the day after Christmas.
7. Hobby(ies): Photography
8. Work: Portrait Photographer (FT) and Ophthalmic Tech (PT) www.sampson-photography.com
9. What was the deciding factor(s) on getting banded: I'll be completely honest here - I dreaded running into anyone I knew while out and about. I stayed home and decined more invitations than I could ever count/recall. I consider myself attractive (face/feet/lol!)
and personable but grossly overweight. I want to date, I want to be desired, I want to march into any place confidently as I did in the past. I was obese at 11 yrs old. But the last 20 years (exactly 20 yrs wow!) I have been up and down - gaining and losing the same 50-60lbs...sick of this!! The banding was not really for my health or any 'good' reason other than FEELING PRETTY AND BEING CONFIDENT...just keepin' it real!
10. Interesting factoids: I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo men with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty- Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cell. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
**
Loves:
Some Democrats. A few Republicans.
Intellectual and ghetto-lectual conversations.
The word "audacity."
Sarcasm.
A strong cup of coffee.
dpreview.com
Fresh sheets.
Good hair days.
Naughty texts.
Visual arts.
Spiritual, uplifting, positive people.
Firmly telling someone to eff off when appropriate.
People who can get the paradox of the two above.
Progress not perfection.
Positive bank balances.
Savannah's confident stroll to her classroom.
New clients.
Returning clients.
Spontaneous I love you's.
Working thru my character defects.
Wit.
Photoshop.
**
Hates:
Touching wet shower walls.
General bitchery.
Poor grammar.
Missing my mouth while sipping what-ev.
Cleaning my bathroom twice a week.
Prejudice.
Alarm clocks.
Sweat-inducing fabrics.
Body hair.