AngieB

Talk about a ruff vacation. The best part of it was spent with my hubby and son in the hotel on the way to visit the folks. We relaxed, swam, and enjoyed each others company. There was no major tension or arguments. No battles of will to make the holiday a uncomfortable mess. At 33 years of age, one would think I would be beyond my "pleasing" stage in life. I still find myself doing things for others that end up putting me in a bad way. Why, because I want to spare them the dissapointment. I end up feeling all the shit for emotions that comes after I put others before me. To go a bit deeper. Most of my life, I had a bossy mother who had to have "things" done a certain way. Instead of making her proud and becoming her prodagy, I seemed to go the other way. Falling sort of the mark. Not making my bed quite right, not cleaning my room good enough.... the list could go on, but I suppose you get it. At any rate, not much as changed other than her getting a bit more set in her ways and so it can be a recipe for an argument. I am married with a child now. A child that she adores, and thinks the world of. She is the poster child for a proud grammy; carries brag photo books, everyone in town knows his latest feats ect. (But if we spend to much time together, she tells me all the things I am doing that don't fit her standards.) I am a more laid back parent. Not lazy but laid back. If Daniel doesn't eat his dinner great, I don't push him to eat it or clean his plate. Things like that bug her. I say good grief, he is a 2 year old. When he is hungry he WILL EAT. Our schedule has been thrown completely out of whack. We are in a different time zone, element and surroundings. He is not napping, eating or sleeping the way he normally does. It doesn't mean he is a rotten child, it means he is out of his norm. Over all, I do my best to take it in stride. Pick my battles and let the water flow off like a ducks back. The problem is I need to work on boundaries and the water flowing off part. My feeling get hurt and before you know it, I say something and vuala! We have an argument. I get hot them shake it off and I am good to go. My momma, well she holds on to things. So it makes it an uncomfortable air to breath. We are stranded due to bad weather. The interstates have closed making it impossible to leave. As you can imagine, it's time to go. All of us feel it and are doing our best to make the best of a personality overload. I am so ready to go home and be in my own space. Let time apart do its thing and peace to be restored. I wanted to eat today to feed my emotions. As a comfort.....I talked to my hubby about it. Progress not perfection. I could go on but spilling that much has made me feel better. My eating and weight issues go so deep and venting on here does me good. Oh, did I mention my son had the stomach flu, 2 days later, I got it. A day after I recovered my hubby got hit. Yeah, a tough holiday. So many "things" factored in to the stress and tension. Thank heavens this is temperary and life will go back to normal. When we get to leave and get home, we have to fix a sink that leaks. Our house sitter informed us about. We get to pick up my car that broke down the day before we were to leave town. Um yeah the list of stressers goes on and on and on. To much to write about each piece of the puzzle but that made the stress build. So with a sigh and a lighter heart I will close this rant and say Merry Christmas and I hope you all had a great holiday!!

Janice - This is the beginning of your new life and you are A-OK. Don't stress yourself or beat yourself up. Matter of fact, I think you have done a great job! Making goodies for the holidays and keeping our little fingers off them is very hard. I don't think you messed up, maybe endulged but it is one of the hardest times of the year to stay on track. Take a step back and look at the big picture. You have a band now, once you get a fill or filled to the point of restriction, you will be in band school. Sharing from my own personal experience, I have ups AND downs. Having the band does not mean I will be successful ALL the time. Over the holiday, I came to report on W in W that I had gained.....ugh. Although it didn't feel the greatest, I have to allow myself to "live" with the band. I personally love all the treats and goodies we have during this season, and I got this band to get healthier, not restrict myself from anything that has chocolate or high calories. Now, I am not giving myself a pass to be a piggy either, but if I want a piece of fudge or 3....lol I am going to have a taste, a nibble, a bite. Right now you are in bandster hell, where you are doing your very best to keep your portions to a small amount at each meal with out restiction. Soon you will have a helping hand. You will be able to see and feel the difference. Hang in there sweet Janice. Don't be hard on yourself. Christmas is now over and it will begin to be easier as far as food goes! You have your first fill to look forward to now!!!! Get ready to change your life!!!!

I have had 5 fills. My info is in my signature as well.

Hello Everyone! I am on vacation and have been sick with the flu. Not very fun. Being around family who get along, but the tension is noticable. Makes for an interesting holiday. I am hanging in here, but want to run home. Staying because of my son. Oh, the things we do for out children. I love him dearly and want him to have a great Christmas, so I will do what I have to in order for that to happen. Ugh! Let's hope I can keep my mouth shut and keep the peace. *prays silent prayer* I used my mommas scale and it said 233. It's not my scale, so we shall see what the scale reads next week. Sure glad to not see a gain!

You look amazing! What a great Christmas and it keep on getting better and better.

Speachless........

Oh my goodness, don't feel for a second that you are the "only" one. There are many more of you/me out there. I struggled with my pre-op and post-op diet. I chewed and spit too. Of all the things I choose to chew and sit I did a piece of hot dog. It is hard to prepair meals for the family and not have any. I was a cheater, and I am not proud of it. I did my best to choose soft things to cheat with. I would do string cheese, as I have found it melts. Hang in there. If you need to start your yogurt phase early do it! Better to have the liquids than solids on your tummy. If you need to chew and spit to get over the liquids do it. It can be very hard and it is better to chew and spit than put any extra stress or pressure on the band. Don't feel bad. You are not alone.

My goals for 2010. Be a more active mommy and wife. Onderland! Yes baby Onederland! Do my very best to get along with my DIL aka MIL and BIL. Ugh! Practice Forgiveness..... Greg! I love your post!

I would have said, honey you drive a porsche, I live in this body....LOL

Hi Allison - So very glad to hear you are getting back on track with the medication you are on. I think that is a great start. Ya know what, I say screw being angry at yourself! Sounds like you have punished yourself long enough. Use what you have learned to motivate yourself now. today is where we are, so that is what really matters. Not sure who you see for adjustments, but get back in to see them. If you can, get your band checked out and get a fill if you need one. Get rid of the foods that cause you to feel bad about yourself. Don't purchase anymore ice cream. Leave it off your grocery list. Instead, purchase some low calorie fudge pops or fruit pops. That will help you adjust. Put protein first in yoru diet. Focus on eating 3 meals a day. If you need a snack in between, choose something like yogurt, cheese stick, hummus and a few crackers, an apple, or some type of fruit. They have some really yummy flavors of yogurt, have fun trying some out. Even freeze one and see if you like a frozen yogurt cup! Look at trying new things as a funny thing. See what's out there that is good for you and tastes good too. Who says eating has to be torture? Check out ther website hungry girl dot com. It has some great tips and food suggestions. I would suggest you come to this website regularly. It is wonderful and the people who are members here rock! This website is so helpful. My surgeon says those who stay plugged in tend to loose more weight because it is in the front of your mind. Start walking. If you can't get 30 mins in at one time, break it up. Walk 10-15 minutes at a time. If that proves to much, take it 5 minutes at a time. You will be so impressed when you notice your tolerace buiding! It feels good and is rewarding. I am glad you posted. You can do this! The band is an awesome partner that has helped me a lot. I am a emotional eater, night eater, and have all sorts of not so good habits. It has set some limits for me and I am grateful for it's help. When I have a good level of restriction, if I try to night eat, it doesn't work. I end up productive burning and or feeling terrible. After a few of those moments, I have been able to break my habit and that helps my health and weight loss! Very Very cool! I could go on and on about what the band has helped me with or taught me. But I think you can see what I am saying. You are so worth this!

I don't look at it as a diet. More of a lifestyle change for me. I don't eat certain foods now at all that I use to, and find I eat a large variety of foods that I had not tried before. It's been interesting. Before I was banded, I was not a high protein gal. I ate a lot more bread and carbs. That has really changed. My main focus is on protein. I live with this band, and look at this as a way I will live for the rest of my life. So really I don't consider myself dieting. I've always had a negative reaction to food logging and counting calories. Now, I can and will do both. I am not 100% committed, but am more willing than ever before. I've gained some weight over the holiday, which is not a huge suprise to me since I am allowing myself to enjoy the holiday like any other holiday. It doesn't feel great to report a gain, but it's a choice I made. Living the bandster lifestyle to me means I will have ups and downs. So far it has proven to be true. I didn't see much weight loss until I build up my level of restriction either.

I limit my intake of liquids before I eat. I normally give myself 5-10 mins. After a meal I tipically wait 40 mins. That seems like when my internal clock says, I am thirsty. I do check the clock after I finish to see what time is a good time to drink again. Seems to work good for me that way. There are some foods, that I have stopped eating all together, becuase it is harder not to drink after I eat. More spicey foods, I limit, which is difficult because I love heat.

I think the biggest concern is the air that gets swallowed while chewing gum. I personally have had no issues with drinking from a straw on occcasion, having a beer from time to time. Which are also in the "air" catagory. I think anything in moderation is a-ok. If you don't get good feed back give the OCC a call and ask. Can't hurt to get there opinion.