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AngieB

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  1. AngieB

    A Clean Slate

    By AngieB,

    Happy Friday! Today is September 11th, 2009 and I want to take a moment to remember and honor those who past, lost, became a hero, in the terror attack on the USA. I will not forget....
    When I listen to people speak of their experiences it moves me so much. I get emotional. I will not forget that day. Eight years later, I feel it. The sights I witnessed will be burned into my memory.

    [img=http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee56/angieboyd/lapband%20pictures/cleanslate.jpg]
    Today is "A Clean State" day. I have had a few terrible food days, I will admit. Today is the day I turn it around, make the best of my food choices. I am striving for momentum today. When I do the right things, I feel good. When I feel good, I want to make good choices. When I make good choices I feel good! See how it works for me!?
    I have no "devil" cookies in my office. No "No No" foods in reach. I am setting myself up for success!
    It's Friday! Whoop! I weighed in today. Holding steady at 250! What a blessing considering what I did to myself the past few days. Thank heavens I will be posting good foods today on my log. Frankly it feels terrible to post the Ugly. Since I am into feeling good, that day has past.
    I am wearing another shirt that I was unable to wear before. What a great feeling that gives me inside. I am loosing inches, yes indeed! Sweet inches! I decided not to take my measurements. I know it would be amazing to know how many I have lost, but I think ignorance is bliss. I don't want to know how large I was. I may very well wish I had choose different later, but it is a self preservation action on my behalf. As mentioned previously 100% honestly does have a tendency to leave me feeling 100% dysfunctional.
    On my drive in this morning, I was thinking of my eating over the past 2 days. I realized that I lost sight of my mini goals. So! Today, I am reaffirming my next goal to myself. Today I am setting at 250, my next goal is to see the numbers 248.9 on the scale. That is my thirty lbs gone mark! Keeping my eye on the prize! I am close, so close. With each great food day I put together, I come one step closer to the next great feeling! It feels good to be addicted to feeling good!
    Let's feel good together and make good food choices today!
  2. AngieB
    Yesterday I scheduled the appointment for the lapband! It's set for April 24th, 2009.
    I feel like it's falling into place, and at times I feel myself pushing for it. I know that when the time is right it will happen and this is not something to rush. Easy does it Angie! Easy does it. A decision has been mad, this is progress. There is light at the end of the tunnel! I am a controller and a planner by nature. I often have to practice self restraint when the urge comes to push or force things. For that is not the "spiritual way" I like to live my life by.
    I have faxed my paperwork back to the OCC, the health survey ect. I am waiting to hear back on bank financing. That makes me a little nervous. We have some credit card debt, most of which is interest free. Still we have the debt and it may be a bit to high for us to get a loan from Coop. They generally don't like you to have more than 40-45% debt and we have 50%. Hmmm. well I guess we will have to wait, and see what they say, and make a decision after that. We have money in savings that we can use, but I want to keep it there.
    I found airline tickets, but now I am holding off on them because.....I don't want to rush things.
    I'll know more by next week.
  4. AngieB
    Today is my Wedding Anniversary! Jim, and I have been married for 2 years! Time has a way of passing when you’re in love!
    I feel so blessed that my husband is supportive of this life changing choice. The more I learn the more I get to share with him. Knowledge is power baby!
    We talked this morning, while getting ready for work. I used the toilet for a chair, while he shaved, romantic huh! We are going to work toward a "Goal" month for the lap band. So! We decided on June! I am happy to have a month picked out. Although I would jump at the chance to leave next week, this will give me time to read my book, the Lap Band Forum posts, and make plans.
    In reality, I have much to do in a limited amount of time. Yesterday, I watched Dr. Ortiz perform the procedure on YouTube. I also listened to him talk about liquids for 21 days, then on to food. It's cool to be able to watch videos and see what is happening, what you need to do. There are tons of videos about people’s journeys. I love the internets!
  5. AngieB

    Alpha

    By AngieB,

    What a grand day to begin a blog! I am hoping this will help me organize my thoughts and set an account of the journey.
    I have made a decision to be banded. My husband supports me, and is on board for the ride! (I love you Jim.) So now the lesson begins, research, humility, patience, saving, and relationship building. I have been surfing the forum now for a few days. Reading posts, introducing myself, and getting to know others who share this common ground. I've ordered the book, "Banded for Life." Waiting for it to arrive! I’ve been reading up on information in different websites, reading learning as I go. So far so good!
    With all good things that have to be in a holding pattern, the anticipation is at an all time high. That being said, I am reminding myself to enjoy the process, not rush it. I will have the procedure soon enough. Now is the time to focus on mini goals. (A little self talk )
    Jim and I have discussed a time frame. We have some bills to pay off first. I am hoping by June, we will be on a course that will allow us to comfortably and responsibly take on the debt of the surgery. Although, I wish it could be here much sooner, I am staying by if it's not practical it's not spiritual foundation. With all major life changes, "things" take time and I have to surrender to the process. (No pushing Angie! No pushing! Soon enough you will be at the front of the line!)
    *Note to self, when I want to rush and push, remember to think about what and why you are doing this. How long it has taken you to get to where you are. Glaciers are not formed over night, nor do they melt in one day. Easy does it!
    Action and short term goals.
    Goals
    1. Read and learn about the procedure, side affects, requirements.
    2. Become a active member of the forum.
    3. Build friendships.
    4. Ask questions and offer support, and help when I can.
    5. Practice patients.
    6. Work toward budget Jim and I have set!
    Action
    1. Spending time on literature, and reading others accounts/experiences
    2. I have introduced myself on the forum!
    3. In progress, this will take time. I have added Robbyn as a friend on facebook!
    4. I'm asking questions as they come up.
    5. This one will take work! No pushing or rushing! * Read not to self!
    6. a.We have been making good decisions on spending and putting money into savings.
    b. Set up a comfortable payment schedule to pay down debt by June.
  6. AngieB

    Moving right along.

    By AngieB,

    Well, turns out the loan officer had the debt to income ratio wrong. So the loan went through! I have scheduled my surgery and booked airline tickets. My mom has decide to come along with me. I love my mom for that. (Although I really to believe I will be just fine solo.)
    What's new!
    I got the book Lab Band for Life! So now I am wanting to read it!
    Booked airline tickets for mom and I!
    Sent my deposit yesterday.
    Sent my flight detail.
    Confirmed hotel reservations at the Marriott.
    Started my pre-op diet yesterday!~
    Pre-op diet. I did fairly good yesterday. I had my shake for breakfast, and lunch. Ate a "normal" dinner. By normal I mean not pre-op diet normal. That didn't make me feel very sucessful. The good news is I fought the urge to get up and eat in the middle of the night. That is a victory! Yay! So I am taking the good with the bad.
    I realize how important this is, the pre-op diet and the first 21 days after the surgery. Doesn't mean I don't have to fight to do my best. Progress!
    I have to say I am not a fan of "drinking" my meals. I've not ever done the slim fast diet. So this is an adjustment in it's self. I figure a month and a half of liquids will not hurt me one bit. I can do this!
    Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!
    I am a cheater by nature. So, I need to be accountable.
    To close this entry, I have a buddy! Dan and I are getting banded days apart, so we are going to support each other. He is very nice and I hope we get along well as we build a friendship!
  7. AngieB
    I feel nervous, tense, or a general unease. I leave at the later part of the week to be banded. I had planed to pack my bag today in preparation for my trip at the end of the week. It's like I have a block. So I decided to come here and type out my feelings.
    A short trip, I believe will do me some good. To get away and have some time with no one to care for other than myself. That sounds terrible I bet. I love my son dearly, and the thought of not being around to kiss and tuck him in makes me sad in and of itself. On the other hand, he has been teething. You see at our house, we teeth in sets of four. He has been fussy, and rightly so. It has been grading on my nerves. Sometimes I feel so tense, and uptight I have to take a moment to relax and un-grit my teeth.
    This is a trip about me, for me. Secondary for my family, and for that I will be grateful that I am getting a chance to do this. It is hard to leave my family behind. I am sure I will be fine once I set out on the trip.
    Another thing that has been weighing on my mind....I had a reading with a clairvoyant some time ago. I was interested in my career, that was the purpose for the call. She had asked me if I had been having any stomach issues. I told her I had not. Later in our conversation I mentioned my interest in getting the Lap-Band. To sum up that conversation, she basicly said it was not a good idea. That there are to many side effects. She then went on to say, that some of us are meant to be bigger. I tried to embrace those words, but they didn't seem to settle right with me. I think she was picking up on my research of the Lap-Band when she asked if I had trouble with my stomach. At anyrate, in these last days I have reflected back on our conversation. Lately, on the forum, there has been a few people who have had there bands slip or had complications. I think that is dancing around in my head.
    Last minute jitters I guess, although I do believe the band will help me in my struggle with weight. I am ready and confident that this will indeed be a great choice. I really wanted to write down my thoughts or reservations if you will. Leaving my family the hardest.
    I am planning on embrassing this trip and relishing the mommy free time and the lack of daily responsibility. It is a mini vacation and a re-birth if you will. I am looking forward to it! Now I must go pack as I feel a bit better just putting my feelings out there!
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