AngieB

Sounds awesome to me! I read your blog post about it. I could use a good retrain my brain to think skinny!

Honestly is always the best policy, that is for sure! I didn't have any doubts or worries until after I was banded. When I didn't loose any weight in the 21 day liquid diet phase, I was stunned. Even now, coming up on 2 months banded, I have lost and gained the same 2-3 lbs. I went in to this with my mind set on not having any big expectations. After the fact, I realized I had expectations and it blew me away at first. Now, I am getting back to reality. I read posts on a different forum and that has helped. I go to the April 2009 board and can see what others, who got there bands around the same time are doing. That has helped me out a lot. I love this board, and come here for my main support and education, but some perspective goes along way. Having second thoughts or the gitters is pretty common. Like I was saying, just last weekish I was going through the same thing where I felt like a failure and really alone in bandland. Even skipped posting my weight on the Friday weigh in. I snapped out of it and got my head back in the game so to speak. You are making a good decision! Hang in there and reach out like you are doing. You'll be just fine. I use the blog function of this board and it helps me to get my emotions, thoughts and feelings out on paper.

Hey D! I wanted to see how you've been doing on solids. Been a few days....how do you feel? Any issues or has it been smooth sailing? Angie

I am into your blog already. Gonna mark this one as a fav! Oh, and I am thinking about EASY....haven't come up with anything better than yours....yet! LOL Here is to getting skinny together and getting to know each other along the way!

Congradulations with making a decision as far as a cut off date for how long you are willing to wait. One thing that I enjoyed the benefits of being a self pay out of country, is I did not have to jump threw all the "hoops" to get the surgery. The education, meetings with a counselor for evals ect. Sometimes it takes 6 months or more to actually have the surgery. I could not imagine having to wait that long. Although I see why people do, and how it is benefical. Yay for you! Angie

Carrie - First I have to say 60 LBS!!! WOW! Congrats! I am hoping the day will come, when I feel tired of eating, or the day when I forget to eat. Those are foreign to me. I will say there have been a few times when I have felt like all this chewing is just to much work. So I am hoping the same chore of eating will evolve with me as well when I have restriction! Oh, and on a side note...I have caught myself being a totally piggy poo when eating my new smaller size portions and bites. LOL I will cut my meat into near pea size bites and catch myself stabbing more than one piece on my fork. (Slow down!) The reason this came to my attention was when I got the ohh feeling in my chest. Like the put the fork down and wait now because you just took 3 bites in one ya dork! I love the changes this band has already made in my life. I am doing the suggested see how much you can get away with not eating. Yesterday, I didn't eat enough for supper and was hungry before bed, which sucked but it is a learing curve for me.

The hospital I have chosen to go to for my aftercare, suggests that I see a counselor. I got the name of the Dr and called yesterday to make the apt. I was caught slightly off guard by the receptionist. Because I am a self pay for my surgery, she noted that, and assumed that this would be the case for therapy. After some chit chat back and forth, I explained to her that my insurance does cover therapy, however it does not cover the WLS. She then informed me that my insurance would indeed not pay, because it is in connection to the WLS. (What a load of crap, but okay.) She went on further to say that I could see another Dr in the practice, however Dr. Peterson was simply to busy and not taking on new patients. I paused for a moment, in utter surprise by her lack of tact, and asked her if I had misunderstood the suggestion from my bariatric surgeon, Dr. Mc Bride. As I was under the impression that they use Dr. Peterson as the Dr for there bariatric patients. She then explained to me that Dr Peterson does do the evaluations for Dr. McBride however she does not do therapy for them. Dr. Peterson is to busy and is currently focusing on cancer patients. That Dr. Mc Brides office does not know her schedule....blah blah blah. Ending the conversation with the statement, I would be happy to make you an apt with someone in there office if I was willing to pay $400 dollars an hour. She was kind enough *please note my sarcasm here* to take my number down because she was going to ask Dr. Peterson to confirm what she had taken great pleasure in informing me of. Gahhh are you serious?! Oh, and let me not leave out the odd way she asked me what I would be seeking therapy for. I stammered a bit, then replied, well for eating behaviors and changes, as well as boundaries. After we ended the most unpleasant phone conversation, I then picked up the phone and called my insurance to verify some information. I choose a therapist, and called to make an appointment with a different office. Which was much more pleasant, I might add. To my surprise, I will be seeing June, that is the name of the therapist, on Thursday. Yes, this coming Thursday. Very good indeed! Next I made a call to the patient case worker in the bariatric department at University of Nebraska Medical Center. Linda, the same gal who referred me to Dr. Petersons office. I left her a brief message, leaving out most of the details above, but hitting on the more important fact that I was turned away. She called me back and seemed very concerned. She asked me who I had spoken to, and I was unable to provider her with a name of the wretch of a woman who I had previously spoke to. No, I did not say she was a wretch. That part was in my head! LOL Linda said she would find out more information and give me a call back. Dr. Peterson, does indeed see their patients, that I am part of their program and the information I was given was incorrect. So, who knows what will come of that. I have made other arrangements and for now, am going with this. What is more important than all the above is I am going to therapy! Yay for me! If you have read this to the end, God bless you!

Sim Sim - aka the blonde barn. You are so right! I am learning this now! The friends I have that don't have agendas or are not super needy, broken or full of drama are the best! I now have more of those friends because I am getting healthier myself. Wooot! Bout time! At anyrate, relationships are a difficult area in my life and thankfully I am changing myself. The more I change the better my life gets. Thank you for your reply. I finished replying to your blog a second ago. Great entry! Hope to see you write more!

Awesome blog! Great info posted to! Perfect timing for me to read. Love it!

Alia - I didn't have a problem finding a Dr for aftercare. I live in a nice size city, so we have around 10 Dr.'s in the area who are Baratric Surgeons. Personally for me, living in the mid-west it was not convenient for me to fly back to TJ for my fills. Cost of airfair, floro, shopping, food, stay ect would way out way the cost of my aftercare local. Not to mention the time away from my family and work. IMHO unless you leave on the West Coast, it really isn't cost effective. My aftercare cost me $1050 up front. That covered the first 4 visits. Each visit after that will cost me $125. So, it won't take long and I will save money. Plus, I feel like it is important to have a Dr local who can manage my care. I'd hate to be to tight and have to wait to go to the OCC for an unfill or care. Now saying that, if I had a emergency, like a slip or erosion ect. I would high tail it back to the OCC for sure. I would hate to see the bill in the states for emergency surgery! YIKES!

I have been thinking about changing my mind set. For a while now, my life has been focused on food. What to eat, when to eat, how much to eat. How to hide what I am eating...ect. Since I don't have experience to draw from, I am coming here to see if any of you eat only when you are hungry. I am "scheduled" for lunch at noon during the week at work. Sometimes I am not hungry at the set time, other times I am overly hungry. I'd like to operate on the premis of when my stomach growls, I break to eat. I have not been in the practice of actually listening to my body for a long time. My stomach has not growled in hunger because in my obssessiveness, I am feeding it. If it does growl, it is like "oh my goodness!" we need to get some food! LOL I don't want my life to revolve around food. I want to live my life. (such a great topic!)

I am so hurt, disappointed, and let down right now, that I can hardly think straight. Relationships are hard. In fact, they are an “area” in my life that I continue to struggle with. What to say, how much to say…the truth is a strange thing. It can be spoken out of love, in anger, out of revenge, or even by mistake. There are so many ways we can twist words; some words spoken to suit our selves, some not. I have a friend in my life that is a complete self absorbed person, she knows this and is absolutely tickled by this fact. Truly it amazes me how she can flit about life and not even notice that there is more to life than her. (This may very well be an understatement.) She will be moving soon. I would say she will be gone in July at the very latest. I have been doing my best to see our friendship through to the time when she leaves. Today, I disappointed myself. I spoke some words that I have been doing my best to suppress. I really have been trying to make it to the “bitter ends” so to speak, to ride out the storm. Knowing myself, I should have seen the writing on the wall. It’s my M.O. I have a pattern that I am picking up on with myself. It’s that I lack boundaries. Yes, that’s right, all the misery I feel is of my own doing. So, awareness is half the battle, now I need to work on having some healthy boundaries, so this cycle does not keep repeating itself. Thank goodness for clarity.

I have heard of people who have done it. (On a different board that I read.) Personally, I have no fear of needles. I suppose if I had access to the correct needle and was in a bad way, I would be one of "those people." LOL I would not do it to myself unless I had to. I know at times money is tight and stress is high. I get it. Are you asking, just to ask? Are you in a bad way right now Stormy?

I am in the dumps. I can see the positive changes and the good that has happened since being banded. Honestly, I am down and out. Guess what!? That is not a good place to be. I feel like I am a failure and that I am all alone in the banded world. Boo hoo, I know, cry me a river... This is my blog and I am telling it how it is.

I am set to get my second fill on July 6th. I will be staying local. Going to the UNMC to Dr. McBride.

I have had no weight gain or weight loss. I am bummed. I mean how can I not be bummed? Logically, I know that I can not compair myself with anyones else, however this is easier said then done when you are not having some success. I've been trying my best to focus on the postive and keep my head up. More and more I am realizing how many expectations I really had. Now, that I can see my expectations for what they are, it is a bit of a bite to swallow. I can not help but feel like a failure. I wish I could have something to report. I watch the scale go up and down. It flexuates between 262 to 266. Had a few episodes when eating that had me up and walking. I feel like I have a hackie-sack in my throat, and my jaw feels like I have had something sour, minus the sour. It's difficult to talk and I swallow the spit that's in my mouth. In a few moments the feeling passes, and life is good. So I do have restriction that I had not noticed before. I need to chew better and focus on protein. I had a turkey burger minus the bun today with a slice of american cheese. It was good. A bit dry.

CJen - I know how you feel about having a fear of gaining some weight back due to an injury. Good thing you have the band! We all will have set backs from time to time. Sounds like you are doing some smart things already, asking for suggestions is a great idea. What comes to my mind right away would be to grab some hand weights and work your arms. If you don't have some hand weights, grab some veggie cans from your cupboard, use those. If you cast doesn't go above your knee. Set on the floor by your couch/chair, put your legs in the chair, feet to the back of the chair and do some crunches. Streching is good to do to. Slow stretches, holding your pose. I broke my foot a few years back and it was a very difficult time for me. I ended up on cruthces for 6 months and gained a lot of weight back I had lost. Chin up! You are doing great!

That is funny, and something I will have to share with my husband. He is of the belief that zip ties and duck tape can fix almost anything. When I tell him that the zip tie will be helping to fix my weight issue he will get a charge out of it! To funny. Glad you shared this!

Shrty835 - I have to say, I always like seeing your success. We had similar starting weights, so you are an inspiration to me. Congrats and looking forward to seeing your updated piccy! Angie

Ethreee - I had my first fill at the University of Nebraska Medical Center June 1. My fickle band would only take .7 cc's for my first fill. I was hoping for some restriction, but as of today, I do not have any. I have made my 2nd apt for July 6th. Much like you, I have not lost any weight either. Double bummer!! I am doing some positive things for myself, dispite the lack of change in the scale. I have been on my bike, and have been walking more. Now, I am beginning to really focus on protein, protein, protein! Since my surgery in late April, I have been making sure to drink plenty of fluids. I mostly focus on calorie free vitamin water. Tastes yummy, and is good for you! I am getting 60 oz of fluid minimum daily. My food "issues" are really getting in the way of my weight loss success, which is humbling to admit. Even though I have decreased the shear volumn of food I am putting in my body, it is not enough of a decrease in calories to jump start weight loss. I am assuming, I am one of the hard cases that really needs the helping hand of band restriciton to get the scale moving. Thank GOD in heaven I was able to get banded when I did! I am so grateful. Now, I am hanging on until I have some results to get me moving! From all the reading, I understand it is not uncommon to not feel restriction for the first fill and maybe the 2nd or 3rd. Let's hold out hope that we will both feel all powerful restriction at our next fill! LOL Thanks for allowing me to ramble a bit. I seem to be full of things to say!

I am so happy you had a great fill apt and got your questions answered. I really do believe the band will work for you D. As for me, I am eating solids, and don't have restriction. Made another apt for July. I really hope this one will make some big changes. I am beginning to feel slightly down. I keep reminding myself this is a life long change for me! Not having results it's hard to stay motivated. I have been on my bike, and with all the rain I have not been walking outside much. So I am moving. I sure hope July will be my golden month. I could use a pick me up. I think I will try to send another email to the group to see how everyone is. Have you been hearing from anyone? Angie

Tracey - You are so sweet to ask. No, I don't feel much restriction at all. In the mornings a little, other than that, nope. So I have scheduled my second fill. I go back July 6th. Congrats on your 21 day post op diet! You darn near have it licked! YAY! Are you going back to the OCC for your fills or are you staying local? I am local, and it has it's advanages and down falls. Let's hope I get better restriction with my second fill. Hard to have wait. I keep telling myself this is a life long journey for me, and before long I will feel the squeeze of the band! Ah I am longing for restriction. Angie