storm

Hmmm, OK...8cc's seems like alot. Is the feeling of being stuck what it's supposed to feel like when you feel full, or are those 2 different feelings? I rarely feel full but if i am not careful, I definately get STUCK and sick. That's the worst! Tonight we went out for chinese and I could only eat the apetizers. They should have brought out the brocoli first haha. No drinking tonight though so that's good. I need to keep an eye on the drinking for sure. Maybe even quit and join AA??? Not because I am an alchie, but because it makes me fat. Anyone down to start an AA meeting for lap banders?

I guess I have nothin to say because I keep typing, deleting, typing, deleting...I just want to know that someone is out there who has been where I am and they get through this feeling. I will go get another fill, so I can eat less still. There's got to be more to this than the food issues. I am so tired of looking in the mirror at myself and not liking what I see!! How did I let myself go like this? Nobody looks anymore. I hope that changes. Good night.

oooh hang in there mama...everything happens for a reason and makes you a better person. Better. Feel better. I'm going to mex again. Not for a fill, just for a trip. Gotta be out of town. ha.

I went out to breakfast for Mother's Day, had a veggie burger with bacon. That's right. With onion rings. I ate it slowly and got most of it down without pain, never did feel really full, then felt sick all day. I have 5 cc's in my band now so I shouldn't be eating that much but it was like the floodgates opened and I could eat....so I ate. Needless to say, I really haven't lost any weight, what did I expect, that the fat would melt away? It's not, nothing has changed. Except that sometimes I forget what I'm doing and I eat quickly, it gets stuck, and I throw up and feel sick the rest of the night. That's what happened today, and when I told my daughter to get in the car, and I threw up in the bushes in the parking lot, she said "Mom, you threw up at Target too"...um, yeah, that was last week. I suck at this and it's affecting my family life. Here's the problem...when I eat, I eat till I get stuck, but then I just feel stuck, not full. And I am still HUNGRY so I want to keep eating even though I am STUCK and it's starting to hurt. Does anyone feel FULL after eating just the right portion or is that what full feels like now (stuck and painful?) Where is the nice warm full feeling I used to feel? That's my question and now here's my RANT: I want to feel satisfied. Instead I just nibble all day and feel irritated. I want to taste my food and eat it warm. Instead I am concentrating intensely on chewing it really well which I don't enjoy. I still drink too much which is probably most of my weight loss issue. Now I am working too much and not surfing enough. Although I had a great surf vacation last month...but drank the whole week and gained 3 pounds. I think I am depressed, shit hit the fan with my job (went to straight commission) and my son moved out on his own and I miss his laughter, and my grouchy old husband is out of town for a week and I am bored without him, got this book "The Handbook for Lightning Survivors" that I guess I will read. Peace out.

I feel your pain...I'm 28 days post op and gained back 3 pounds this week...yuk! I have no restriction and can eat just like before, maybe not as hungry but that was never my problem anyways...I DRINK my calories in the form of alcohol...anyways...just try to have a little self control and remind yourself how great you did losing the 23 pounds without the band, and how great you want to look this summer. Get out of the house, make your lunch before you go to work so you're making a conscious decision about what you're eating...just hang in there...you can do it!! When you get your fill...I hope...that will help you.