My situation was much the same as yours. I'm 51 and have been married for 33 years. My husband simply eats to survive and couldn't care less what it is. A bowl of popcorn for dinner is just as satisfying to him as a large well cooked meal. As a result, he has never had a weight problem and if he does gain a couple of pounds, he simply doesn't eat a couple of meals and it's gone. As a result of this, he too does not understand my situation. Many hurtful, nasty things have been said. To date, I've lost 45 pounds. I can't say it's made much difference in my life, but then it's a drop in the bucket compared to what I have to lose. (I was 124 when we got married and presurgery I was 285). It might make a difference to him when I get back down, but the real questions are, How will I feel? Am I going to be able to put the nasty things said behind me? Am I going to be able to say, "Oh, it's ok that I wasn't acceptable then, but I am now that I measure up to your standards"?
I had the banding for ME. What was broken, stale, or destroyed prior to the banding will be up to each person to examine and fix themselves. As I was told one time, "Saying hurtful things damages a heart much the same way as a nail damages a fine piece of wood. You can pull the nail back out, but there will always be a scar left where it was". The band isn't a miracle...but it will give you a place to start if you want to make one happen. Good Luck.