Hard to get used to

[trulytangledgrl]

I am just wondering what some others' thoughts were on this topic. Since losing a significant amount of weight, I have gotten a lot of attention from people especially at work. People mentioning all the time how I am getting 'skinny' and saying how great I look, and even some people I have noticed acting jealous. I am not sure how to deal with this or handle it because I am not used to all this attention - - I am used to just kind of being in the background.... I mean people have always liked me but now I feel like the center of attention sometimes. People asking how did I lose all the weight and such. Also, when I go out I notice people doung a double take at me... or smiling at me and checking me out lol I dont know, I just realize I am having a VERY hard time accepting compliments and also dealing with the constant attention. How do others deal with this?? Thanks everyone

[Jnlebean]

Thank you for asking this question, this is one area that I know I will have problems with cause I too am seeing them now and I have only just started my journey! So to everyone out there I'm asking the same question too.

Congrats on all your hard work!

Jenelle

[CanadianBandster]

Im getting it too - a lot. Sometimes people are so nice...some are so ignorant. The "checking" out is funny - my sister in law does it the MOST lol

Honestly - its funny. Im not sure how to handle it either. Sometimes it does make me uncomfortable though - but I just try to ignore it. If anyone askes I tell them what I did. Today though I saw an old high school friend - I told her what I had done and she said "oh - have you lost any weight" - um, everyone else in the world notices and the last time she saw me was at weight watchers weighing me in...Im 40 lbs lighter - um yah Ive lost weight - but I think its just cuz she wasnt sure what to say.

At first I was going to not tell people...then I thought - why not, who cares...and maybe just maybe one other person would decide to get it done and if it helps even one other person - its all good

The ONLY two people I dont want to know is my ex and his psychotic (sp?) new wife - for some reason she seems to stalk me - seriously - I cant get into details here but you have no idea...she has hacked my email - I had to change my username on every site I visit - including this one...and Im tired of them knowing my every detail of my life. So I havent told my kids exactly what I had done - and they are the only two people in the world Id say - I dont know what you are talking about if they asked lol

[trulytangledgrl]

thanks both of you for replying I appreciate it so much because it helps to know I am not alone! lol!

Canadianbandster that is CRAZY about the ex and the new wifey... crazies. haha. I am so sorry though that you have to put up with that. Get yourself a restraining order! geezie lousie!! Yeah its difficult and like you said, SOME people are ignorant about it, but I find its mostly people who are also overweight and they seem to be jealous. I mean I could be wrong, but it just seems that way. Also the thing is, co workers will see what I eat (which as you all know can be VERY minimal depending how testy the band is being on any given day - - mehhh..) and they will be like 'oh so is that how you lose weight? By starving yourself? Are you anorexic now or something?' I mention the possible jealousy because I know when I was big and before knowing I COULD get a band, I would be super envious/jealous of those who could lose extreme amounts of weight. Just cause I wanted it soooo bad, too, and could never do it. Hmmm. Its interesting how us humans work isnt it.

[mona-camille]

Although it is supposed to be a compliment I assume, I absolutely HATE when people look me up and down! I hate that hate that hate that! It just feels very rude. But, if they check me out when I am not 'seeing' them check me out, then ok. I am glad they mention that they see a difference but it is very uncomfortable just the same.

[CanadianBandster]

yah I dont like the really obvious looking up and down - and staring though...thats what my sister in law does all the time.

As for the crazys in my life - I actually have retained a lawyer - took the rest of this post out just in case the crazy sees it!

Anyways - sorry back to topic...its funny - cuz if I see someone who has lost weight - I either say nothing (depending how well I know them), or tell them how great they look - or ask how they did it (before) cuz I wanted to do the same thing! lol I cant get over how obvious some people make their starring! grr - but just try to laugh it off because you know that meansb you look HOT lol

[Kimmy in MD]

Frankly I LOVE IT!! I didn't undergo the surgery and pay for this to not have that change in my life. I am so happy to look good again and to feel attractive. The band is better than a facelift in my opinion!

Only thing I don't like is people telling me I need to stop losing as I am not at my personal goal yet and really wish they would keep those thoughts to themselves. But I guess like everything, you take the good with the bad.

Just enjoy and learn how to say "thank you"

[bigali]

I totally know what you are saying. I use to try really hard to be the quite one so no one would notice me and know I get noticed. At first it was fine but know it's some what embarrassing. I don't have advice cuz i am dealing with it myself i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Am going through everything you are.

[robbynnoel]

I have a funny twist on this. I think I mentioned that I used to be a weight loss consultant. It was a firm that didn't feel their consultants needed to be at goal, just able to relate to weight loss itself. Anyway, I walked into a fast food restaurant with my children and my mother one holiday for lunch. In walked one of my clients. These situations were always uncomfortable. Some clients didn't want to be acknowledged if I ran into them in a restaurant others were okay with it.

I didn't say anything, and neither did my client.

A few days later I met with the client for her regular consultation. She asked "Was that you I saw at Chicken Little a few days ago?"

"Yes." I said.

"Was that woman you were with your MOTHER?" The client interupted and continued. She was pretty sarcastic. I got the impression she didn't like my mom. "I feel so sorry for you."

"Why?"

"Don't you live with her?" She persisted.

"Yes." (After I divorced the kids and I moved in with my mom for a time...)

"I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to live with someone who has no idea what it's like to NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!"

Then I got a shocked look on my face and I shared with my client that my mother was heavy all of my life, but when she found out she was going to be a grandma, she was motivated and she had been 134 lbs (5'9) for over 15 years.

This totally embarassed my client. She met my mother as thin, pulling chicken skin off chicken, taking small bites, eating a quarter of her meal and formed an impression.

But the story gets better.

So I get home from work and my mom is on the couch with a friend of hers she'd known 40 years (oh and the friend was slender). In other words, mom met her friend when my mom was was heavy. (Can you feel where I'm going with this...)

I open the door and I call to my mom, hey mom...a client of mine is mad at you because you have no idea what it's like to be fat.

"Who do I write the check out to?" My mom asked in a joking way.

Then her friend barely whispered, "Oh, yea. You've lost a little weight since I've met you."

And I said, "She's lost over 100 lbs since you've met her."

So point is, strangers will never assume what you weighed and there will be friends, even good ones, who will never acknowledge your loss or compliment you.

That doesn't mean everyone is like that...but you get the idea.

Hugs.

[KatyG]

Robbyn,

I echo your post completely. People look at me (now), who didn't know me before and assume I am 'tiny (as I am frequently called)' because I have always been, and that I have no idea what it is like to struggle with weight. If only they knew. People who have known me my whole life, and see recent pics of me, are coming out of the woodwork wondering how I did it, and 'Gosh, you look AMAZING, how did you do it, etc.' I get that A LOT on Facebook. I was overweight in high school and college and a ton of people have come to me asking what the heck I did. I also think some people may have 'added me as a friend' because word got out that Katy is skinny and they just want to see it for themselves. I am super proud of where I am and where I have been. But it does put me a little bit on guard. That guard comes down though when a really good friend of mine posts that I look 'smokin.' LOL. I loved it.

[AshleyMarie]

I totally know where you are coming from. My friends are already telling me they are jealous and I haven't even been banded yet. I will be in 3 weeks though! I just know that your true friends will always be there for you regardless of the surgery and weight loss. Congrats to you on your weight loss!

[nothereanymore]

It is a bit odd, but most of my friends and co-workers are really happy for me! My family is thrilled; I didn’t realize how worried about my weight they were until I lost it. People who know me and have for years, get that its still me.

Its interesting how some people act, but I don’t really notice it too much, I think I’m just too old and to in love with my husband to care. For me it’s normally younger guys that didn’t know me and don’t know how old I am – I just pull out the line that I’ve been with my husband since the 70’s and I’m a happy grandma. That’ normally takes care of it, but desperate housewives has changed things for us, seem like the younger guys are totally into the older woman. Weird……

One funny moment, I was at happy hour with a co-worker and I actually had one of my sons friends try to pick me up, (my oldest is 28) when I told him who I was he nearly fell of the bar stool.. He had to leave the bar…… I traumatized him.

[trulytangledgrl]

Lisa - hahaha! that is too funny about the son's friend!! I love it. Well, I have a story similar, but since I don't have children... lol. Anyhow, I was back at home visiting for christmas 2008 (my parents live 6 hours away so dont get home much).

I was all ready to go out to dinner, I had a nice dress on and was all made up. I go into the store I had to pick up a gift card for a friend, and I run into this old classmate who, by the way, in highschool wouldn't give me the time of day. He made fun of me from 5th grade all the way through HS. So, I see him, and he doesn't recognize me. He comes up behind me in the check out line, and he goes "Hey beautiful" - - at this point I realized he had no idea who I was, so I played along. I said "Hey whats up?" and we continue having a brief conversation... he asks where I am from and I tell him I live in Philadelphia, I am just home visiting family. SO, he says "Wanna go out with me tonight?" and I say... "Mike Wilson, I don't date men. Furthermore, even if I did, I wouldn't go out with you if you were the LAST man alive on this earth." Then I just walked away and left him wondering. I also heard one of the store clerks giggle. HAHAHA!

[Jnlebean]

Robbyn, thank you so much for that post!! It made me smile and laugh. A good friend of mine knows that I had this surgery and has not once mentioned how "hot I look", well I will be hot soon. A few other people in my office have commend but she hasn't. I tell her about what they say and how great it makes me fell but still nothing. Oh well!?

We all look at each other in different ways and maybe is is embarassed to say something? Do you know what I mean. Maybe she wants to but just doesn't know how to!

Jenelle