Sometimes I laugh at myself

[SunnyCalifornia]

Hi All,

I have come here again looking for some fellowship with my fellow bandmates. I am a little bummed out because I went to the doctor and found out that I have gained back more weight than I thought. The funny part is that I never weighed myself while I was losing weight after my first fill. I knew the weight was coming off, it was not difficult, so I wasn't focused on the scale. So I am at the doctor this week and he shows me a graph of my weight in the last year. I was actually down to 176 last year and didn't know it. I average 180-185 on any given day now and I have maintained it for a year (or so I thought!!)

Anyway, bummed because I did give 10 pounds back last year. Since the first fill, it has been a chase to get the right fill amount in. My last fill is not doing much for me - at 3.2. I think I tend to go a lot longer without getting a fill than most people. I try not to think about it too much or I become completely obsessed and bummed that I am not making more progress.

And then I start reading the forum and it hits me - duh!!! Go get another fill. Seriosuly, you think I would get it by now. I have to keep reminding myself that, when my fill was working at the end of 2007, the weight fell off. I was eating good things, but portion control was easy. Withouth the proper restriction, I am back to stressing out over every meal and I can't lose weight that way. Maybe it's a personal thing, but the more I think about what I am eating, the crazier I get.

It is also good to see the few people here that were banded more than a year ago. I know many of them have hit their goals and moved on, but there are some of us that are taking the long road.

Still grateful for the band. I know it's the only thing that keeps me at this weight. WIthout it, I would be back where I started.

I'll have to wait for payday to go back to OCC for the fill, but at least I have a plan :-)

LS

[fat2nrml]

Best wishes on your up coming fill!! Good luck and hang in there!! Darlene

[nothereanymore]

Its a tool and sometimes we may just not have been meant to use it during a certain time. You just never know - life goes as it should and you're back on track so congrats! The hardest part is making that mental change to become one with the band and allow it to become a working part of your life. (I love Star Wars, can you tell.....)

Take this as a fun opportunity and start new today! How cool is that!

Best!

Lisa