nothereanymore Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 OK, so I came back from a business trip and had lost a few pounds due to stress and traveling. My husband I just got into a discussion about my weight, since I told him I was going in to have all the fluid removed from my band – and I actually really like my body and size right now. He looked at me, (I could tell he was thinking carefully, trying to figure out if he should he even broach this subject) and he came out and said I was too thin and needed to gain weight. I was shocked – I have been working out, (hard crossfit) and focusing on eating healthy, I never had thought I looked too thin. I worked with a naturopathic doctor while going organic and had everything measured and my normal GP just had my yearly and said I was now one of his healthiest patients… So its not a health issue it’s a he’s not liking me as thin as I am. (I do). I argued, provided my “I’m so healthy” points and realized this man never once said “boo” when I weighed close to 300 pounds – he’s always said I was beautiful, (the most beautiful woman in the world) and has been with me since I was fifteen, through “thick and thin”. I was thin until my late 20's. We finally ended up by coming to middle ground, I am thin now, I am healthy, I do like myself right now, and if he likes me a little bit heavier, it may happen naturally or it may not. Its up to me, it’s my body and as long as I’m healthy and not too thin (I’m a good size 4 in pants and 8 in dresses) and I'm happy that’s what is important. As long as I’m good with myself, he will be too. Never thought I’d see the day…… I just had to take a moment, when you go from a size 22 (tight) 3X to a size 4, sometimes things can get strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babe Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 wow lisa, you're such an inspiration!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dejongshy Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 My mom has lost about 150lbs ish... She is about 210lbs and my dad says the same thing to her, you need to gain a little weight back, it drives her crazy. He is very proud of her but likes her with a little more weight, sometimes I think it is a confidence issue. He worries about others wanting her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PAMMIE Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 LAST SPRING I WAS A LITTLE TO THIN SAYS MY FRIENDS. NOW THAT I REALLY DON'T HAVE A FILL, I'VE GAINED A FEW POUNDS BACK AND TO ME, I NEED TO LOSE THAT. I WOULD LIKE TO GET IN FOR A FILL TO HELP OUT, I THINK LOL. I DON'T KNOW, I GO BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH. IT'S A HARD DECISION. THE SHORTS I HAD LAST SPRING, 4's, AREN'T GOING TO DO IT THIS SPRING SO IT'S LOSE A FEW POUNDS OR GO SHOPPING AGAIN, for shame lol. THE HUBBYS OFF TO ROMANIA FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. I ALWAYS EAT HEALTHIER, WELL LESS, WHEN HE'S NOT HERE SO MAYBE I CAN LOSE A FEW POUNDS WHEN HE'S GONE AND NOT MESS WITH A FILL. I FOUND OUT THIS WEEK I HAVE A B12 DEFICIENCY, I GOT A SHOT AND I'M HOPING THAT BOOSTS MY METABOLISM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbynnoel Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 ((((((((((((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))))))) That is a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it. I needed the inspiration tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nursemom Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 I have faced the same issue, lisal..... Although I am not as thin as you, I find that my husband is saying to me "ok, that's enough....you've lost enough weight." Last week he had a "serious" talk with me about my protein intake. As we are both nurses, I understand where he is coming from. He is very proud of my weight loss so I don't think it is a jealousy issue. I just think he worries about me and thingks I look good where I am. Not sure how much more I want to loose as I am pretty happy at this point. I agree with you, I never thought that THIS would be an issue for consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nothereanymore Posted May 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 Thanks for the compliments everyone. And yea, it’s a bit confusing. I don’t think its jealousy either, he a very confidant man who’s not worried about losing me. It may be that when you do slim down you do have hip bones, rib bones and all these other bones that now show. (And are suppose too) and I don’t think he likes that. Also once you really add in exercise it does change your body and you get firmer, your muscles build up, I’m not as soft and squishy as I use to be. Add in PS and I’m pretty tight, (accept for the thighs and I’m not even thinking of those at this time – waiting to see what happens after a summer of working on them). I think once I get time to get all the fluid removed from my bad, focus on healthy eating and exercise – I’ll just stand back – see what weight my body settles too, since I want to try to find my natural weight. It may be higher than right now, but it may be less. I just don't want to think about it and I'm going to try and avoid the scale through the entire summer. That should be fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PAMMIE Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 Thanks for the compliments everyone.And yea, it’s a bit confusing. I don’t think its jealousy either, he a very confidant man who’s not worried about losing me. It may be that when you do slim down you do have hip bones, rib bones and all these other bones that now show. (And are suppose too) and I don’t think he likes that. Also once you really add in exercise it does change your body and you get firmer, your muscles build up, I’m not as soft and squishy as I use to be. Add in PS and I’m pretty tight, (accept for the thighs and I’m not even thinking of those at this time – waiting to see what happens after a summer of working on them). I think once I get time to get all the fluid removed from my bad, focus on healthy eating and exercise – I’ll just stand back – see what weight my body settles too, since I want to try to find my natural weight. It may be higher than right now, but it may be less. I just don't want to think about it and I'm going to try and avoid the scale through the entire summer. That should be fun! I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ALL EVENING LAST NIGHT. I THINK I'M REALLY SCARED THAT GAINING WEIGHT WILL LEAD ME TO WHERE I WAS TO BEGIN WITH. ARE YOU SCARED AT ALL LISA? I KNOW I'VE GOT THE TOOL, AND MY HABITS HAVE CHANGED BUT STILL, IT'S SCARY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tootsie_lou Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ALL EVENING LAST NIGHT. I THINK I'M REALLY SCARED THAT GAINING WEIGHT WILL LEAD ME TO WHERE I WAS TO BEGIN WITH. ARE YOU SCARED AT ALL LISA? I KNOW I'VE GOT THE TOOL, AND MY HABITS HAVE CHANGED BUT STILL, IT'S SCARY!!! You guys (Lisa and Pammie)--is that what folks do when they reach their goal is empty their band out? I'm a little over half way, and that idea is one that I can't even comprehend right now. Is it a test of the new eating habits that you have devoloped? I have so many more years of bad food choices than good ones, I think I would be pretty nervous about doing it. I don't really trust myself yet. I really admire and look up to you for your choices and perseverence (and all the great advice and support). Good luck, whatever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nothereanymore Posted May 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hey Pammie, Yes, I’m scared – that’s why I focus on education myself on how to eat healthy. The goal is to unlearn all those bad habits and focus on a new future. It’s not only so I don’t become big again – but because we’re getting up there in age (us baby boomers) and I’m trying to slow some of the aging processes and make them easier, from menopause to aging gracefully. You just can't do it as a morbidly obese person - sorry my feelings but I've been there - its painful and difficult. I hope I can keep eating right and exercising and not worry about going back to old habits. I do think going for outside education, help and support will help long-term and I’m really glad I did this. The band is just a tool and I see it now as one that helped me learn how to eat right. I’m too the point were all of my cupboards have been emptied out and only healthy food is in there – a pretty big feat for a lady married to a guy who isn’t into health food and I have my 19 and 23 year old big guys back living here. Are you feeling the same? Thanks Diana! Many do empty out their bands – but not all. (it can be scary) I know one lady, who lost her weight 3 years ago, removed her fill and has slowly gained back 40 pounds – she’s going back in for her second fill in the last 2 months trying to get the weight back off again. This seems to be pretty typical – but the good thing is she still has her band and can get a fill and use it. For me its not a test - I need to stop losing weight and focus on eating healthy long term, live the life I've been taught to live! I'm going to watch myself and learn what I need to eat (and how much) to keep my body at a consistant healthy weight. I also know 2 people who have failed long-term with the band. They don’t use it and don’t take the steps to lose the weight for life, they eat around the band and are now bigger than they were before surgery. It’s sad, we have this amazing gift, I only hope I can do it justice and keep it working for me! (I’m pretty sure I can). There are many of us still on the forum who have been doing this for a while and we're happy to help, we also get so much support from all of you. Maintenance is not the end - it’s just the beginning of another part of our journey! Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PAMMIE Posted May 10, 2009 Report Share Posted May 10, 2009 I’m too the point were all of my cupboards have been emptied out and only healthy food is in there – a pretty big feat for a lady married to a guy who isn’t into health food and I have my 19 and 23 year old big guys back living here. Are you feeling the same? THE OLD GUY HERE IS A HEALTH NUT SO THAT'S REALLY NOT A PROBLEM FOR US. BUT THE BOYS, 23, GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE NOW AND MOVED BACK HOME IN DEC. HE'S A HEALTHY EATER ALSO BUT THE AMOUNTS HE CAN EAT ARE INCREDIBLE LOL. HE'S NOT OVER WEIGHT AT ALL BUT IT'S ALL THE FOOD I HAVE HERE NOW. IT WASN'T TOO BAD WITH JUST THE TWO OF US. NOW, I JUST FEEL I ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE FOOD READY JUST IN CASE THE BOYS HUNGERY OR IF HE SHOWS UP WITH HIS FRIENDS AND THEY WANT SOMETHING BESIDES BEER AND CHIPS (it's the mama in me lol) There are many of us still on the forum who have been doing this for a while and we're happy to help, we also get so much support from all of you. Maintenance is not the end - it’s just the beginning of another part of our journey!Lisa I GET JUST AS MUCH FROM NEWBIES AS I DO FROM THE LONG TERM MEMBERS OF THIS BOARD. IF IT WEREN'T FOR SOMEONE POSTING ON BEING COLD A FEW MONTHS BACK, I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE IN AND GOT MY VITAMIN LEVELS CHECKED AND FOUND TO HAVE A B12 DEFICIENCY. FOR THAT I'M VERY GRATEFUL I'M LEARNING SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY ON THIS JOURNEY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeannaMiller Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 I am so happy for you! Congratulations are becoming sooo healthy! I hope I will have the same sort of success as you. Good luck and keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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