Calming Spouses Concerns

[Red]

Hi everyone,

I'm new on this site and have only just made the decision to have the banding done with Dr. Ortiz. I haven't made the appointment yet, but will soon. My husband is supportive but has questions/concerns. Understanding how much I like food, he is concerned about how I will adapt to the lifestyle change that the band will impose on me. Do you all find that it is very difficult to adapt? I don't get that impression from what I read, but maybe someone can explain how the band impacts you in terms of emotional eating, appetite, etc., and how you feel mentally after the banding.

Also, after discussing some of the risks with him, like the band possibly moving out of place, he wanted to know what people do who have the stomach flu and have to vomit. Wouldn't that cause it to move? I didn't have the answer, so here I am. Thoughts, anyone?

[tootsie_lou]

Hey Red!!

Congratulations on making the decision to have the lap-band done by Dr Ortiz! He and his team of professional are all dearly loved!!

I think the best way to have many of your husband's concerns answered is to see if he would read this forum. Folks have posted on practically every aspect of this subject (and then some) on this forum. There is a search feature up near the top of the page to narrow it down to the subjects he has questions about. Also, Dr Ortiz wrote a book called "Lap-band for Life", that answers a lot of questions for folks that are at the exact stage in the process that you are. It is sold out alot at the OCC website, but Amazon.com usually has copies available.

Good luck to you and know that everyone on this forum is with you on this!!

[SimSim]

Hi, Red. I'm new to this site too, but not new to the lapband.

What I can tell you is that when I told my significant other that I was going to get the band done (we were just recently dating at the time) he sat back surprised and said, "you don't strike me as the kind of woman who would do that."

I wasn't sure how to take that.

As for the emotional/adapting part - we all got this way for a reason. I think it's important to figure out what your food trigures are and how you emotionally handle having to cut back on your food intake. Since this isn't a diet, but a life style change, can he support your choices and needs? To be successful you have to have some pretty great support. Note your food addictions ahead of time and try to conquer them before the surgery.

After banding I felt okay. I was more sore from my port area than anything else. What got me was still cooking the same way for everyone else - I had to figure out my way around that... and now I finally have. They've changed their eating habits too.

Hope this helps a little.

- Simone

[Red]

Thank you Tootsie_Lou and SimSim for your input. I have no doubts that I can do this; he is much more analytical than me and a "worrier". He wonders if having the surgery done in Mexico will cause any issues down the road with our insurance company covering other things such as if I had some unrelated abdomenal issue that AETNA will refuse to cover because I had the lap band surgery outside the country. I guess that is a legitimate concern. Has anyone had a problem like that?

[MyNewLife]

Red,

Boy do I know what you are going through. My Hubby was so scared for me, it took almost the month before I left before he would even be ok to talk about it. He was so scared something was gong to happen to me. He also had the same concerns as your hubby is having. The metal part for me was not bad as far as the preop diet and the 21 days of liquids. I became REALLy obessed with the weight, the scales, doing everything correct...etc......I wanted to let you read a post that I posted about four months into being banded. As you can see in this post, I have became a health NUT! The band controls the amount of food you eat, you have to control the type of food you eat, that is the hardest part! Maybe this will explain a little about what you WILL go through!.........

I just want to post some advice that I received from a friend of mine. Today is my fouth month banded. I wanted to post this. This was my response to one of social kids post.......but who knows, might help someone else.

I had lunch with a friend of mine that was banded two years ago and is a size 4 now. I have been getting so frustrated, today is 4months for me! I have decided I HATE SCALES. I was weighing everyday, then twice a week and then once a week. My friend told me to stop EVERYTHING that I was doing and to live, just live life. She told me that I have now went from being obessed with food, to now being obessed with scales, protein, fiber, weights, walking, everthing I do or say is about this band which will cause so much stress and depression. She could have not been so correct. I think I thought ok, I have the band, the weight is going to fall off, wow was I WRONG! The more I was wrong the more obessed with doing everthing correct the more discouraged I was getting because I was doing everthing correct and the weight was still not falling off. I hope that makes since, feel like I am rambling. I have decided to live, just live life. Keep eating the correct food with my exercise but just live. This has been for the past week or two. Well guess what. I went for my third fill yesterday and am happy to report I had lost 9 lbs of fat and gained 3 pounds of muscle since my last fill a little over a month ago.

Red, this for me was just me doing a 360 from my old habits and food I was eating. I am such more of a healthier eater than ever! and guess what, my hubby has lost 30 pounds and is a HUGE health nut now...lol.............He currently is doing P90X....still a little tough for me.

Carrie

[my_friend_amber]

I had a very similar experience with my husband also, but now - 1 year and almost 70 lbs later - we are both very glad I had the procedure. I had the flu this fall and vomited several times and am fine. The band is stitched to the stomach and then scar tissue forms to further hold it in place, so it's actually quite hard to move unless you have repeated episodes of overeating and getting stuck (and I do mean repeated!) and I've heard of someone being super sick for a long time and vomiting a ton and it slipping, but it's quite rare.

Invite your husband to get on this website and even create his own account so he can read everyone's questions and answers and even ask his own!!

Best to you,

Amber

[jhawkchick75]

He can also call the OCC and get any questions answered as well. My mom was on board but after talking to the ladies there she was ready to go the next day! Not sure what they said but she felt completely comfortable with it.

As for me, I read so much in here before I went that by the time I left I was so mentally ready to go. Never had a day of regret even on day 18 most op when I wanted to jack someone for their slice of pizza!

I have terrible willpower but i've been successful. Have I fouled up on some days? Oh yes! Tater tots for breakfast one day, ate a frozen pizza (small, but the whole damn thing) for dinner once, you get the picture. But I keep that at a minimum and when I foul up I move on.

Read lots in here and you will be just fine. Congrats on your decision!

[Red]

Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I keep getting an error message saying I am "forbidden" (wow, that's harsh!) to reply. I WANT so badly to reply to the feedback I received, so I will perservere!!

[Red]

Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I keep getting an error message saying I am "forbidden" (wow, that's harsh!) to reply. I WANT so badly to reply to the feedback I received, so I will perservere!!

OK, so this is my 4th and last attempt at replying. I just don't get what I'm doing wrong that I would be denied a response. Anyway, I truly appreciate the feedback I've received from everyone. I can only conclude that it is a decision that is mine and mine alone. I will give hubby Dave every assurance that I have researched this and believe it is what I need to help me to my goal weight. I have been fat my whole life with the exception of a couple of times I used various dangerous diet pills, and don't want to go that route anymore. I just want to eat healthy and have something to show for it that will last my lifetime. I have been fat since age 5 and was called by other kids "fatty Patty". No more. I want to live the second half of my life happy with my body. I am hoping to set a surgery date for July and will take comfort in knowing that there are many on this site that know what I am feeling and will be with me on my journey. Much thanks to you all....

Red