Obese Children

[LosinItInQ8]

For years I have been concerned about my niece Molly. She's 10 years old and last I heard she weighs about 130 pounds. She's not tall. The last time I was home I was in tears over her, in fact typing this out is making me cry. Molly does have a thyroid problem, and I believe my sister uses that as an excuse for her daughter's weight. "Molly has health issues, that's why she's big." Ok, well I've seen the girl eat a super sized Big Mac meal and ask for more. Nobody but my sister thinks her thyroid is totally to blame here. She is a very miserable/why bother kind of child. Two years ago (she was 8) I was in town and took her to Old Navy. She couldn't fit into children's clothes and an adult large isn't cut right for a child. I was so embarassed for her, but she didn't seem embarassed at all. This is why I'm so concerned. She doesn't seem to be aware that this isn't how it should be. She doesn't have to live like this. She doesn't have to be the girl at school that people make fun of and won't sit next to. My sister does not provide a healthy home for her daughters. White bread, chips, sodas, Little Debbies, you know what I'm talking about. Sitting down watching Hanna Montana with a jumbo bag of Doritos, a Coke or glass of Kool Aid, and a whole jar of pickles. They bought her a bike last Christmas, she hasn't touched it. How do you help a child when you live on the other side of the globe? How do you help a child when her parents don't seem to care? How do you help a child when she doesn't realize she needs help? I saw on the OCC main page about banding teens. I don't know if she's too young, but if she were old enough for the band I don't think she's mature enough to understand it. She would think she's being punished and she would probably fill up on the same crap she eats now and never get any nutrients. I know some of you were obese as children and some of you have obese children. What do you do? How do you turn this around?

[Dolittle]

For years I have been concerned about my niece Molly. She's 10 years old and last I heard she weighs about 130 pounds. She's not tall. The last time I was home I was in tears over her, in fact typing this out is making me cry. Molly does have a thyroid problem, and I believe my sister uses that as an excuse for her daughter's weight. "Molly has health issues, that's why she's big." Ok, well I've seen the girl eat a super sized Big Mac meal and ask for more. Nobody but my sister thinks her thyroid is totally to blame here. She is a very miserable/why bother kind of child. Two years ago (she was 8) I was in town and took her to Old Navy. She couldn't fit into children's clothes and an adult large isn't cut right for a child. I was so embarassed for her, but she didn't seem embarassed at all. This is why I'm so concerned. She doesn't seem to be aware that this isn't how it should be. She doesn't have to live like this. She doesn't have to be the girl at school that people make fun of and won't sit next to. My sister does not provide a healthy home for her daughters. White bread, chips, sodas, Little Debbies, you know what I'm talking about. Sitting down watching Hanna Montana with a jumbo bag of Doritos, a Coke or glass of Kool Aid, and a whole jar of pickles. They bought her a bike last Christmas, she hasn't touched it. How do you help a child when you live on the other side of the globe? How do you help a child when her parents don't seem to care? How do you help a child when she doesn't realize she needs help? I saw on the OCC main page about banding teens. I don't know if she's too young, but if she were old enough for the band I don't think she's mature enough to understand it. She would think she's being punished and she would probably fill up on the same crap she eats now and never get any nutrients. I know some of you were obese as children and some of you have obese children. What do you do? How do you turn this around?

That is sad. I don't know if she could be banded at that young of age, But even if she could be, she can't eat crap like that and expect the band to work. As all you bandsters know, you can't lose weight eating like that. She'd have to have her parents change the household eating lifestyle to proper food groups, if they didn't, she's just eat around the band and maybe still gain weight. Only time will tell.

[shrty835]

I too have a nice who will be 10 on July 7th and she weighs 145. When she saw me yesterday for the first time she told her mother that she wanted to change also. So I gave here Dr. Ortiz book and I told here that she if she can start chaching and show me that she means this in 3 years till shes of age for the surgery that I would pay for it for her. I hope her and here mother can make these changes because she has a 2 year old brother and I dont want to see him in the same bad habits.

[nursemom]

You said that Molly isn't aware of the fact that "this isn't the way it should be". I feel so sad for her because very soon the teasing and bullying will start. I remember feeling that way and I wasn't even that big. I have issues with my sister but not over nutrition. It is hard and you can't change them. Just be a postive influence when you are around her!

[AngelaAnn]

You said that Molly isn't aware of the fact that "this isn't the way it should be". I feel so sad for her because very soon the teasing and bullying will start. I remember feeling that way and I wasn't even that big. I have issues with my sister but not over nutrition. It is hard and you can't change them. Just be a postive influence when you are around her!

Yes, the bullying is the worst. I was severely bullied in 7th grade, with kids locking my bookbag to my desk and such so I couldn't go to my next class. I wasn't as big as I was going to get at the time, but I was big enough. Jr. high and overweight is hell.

[nothereanymore]

I think Denise has it right on, if you lead by examples and she see’s the positive changes happening to you due to your weight loss, she may want to join in.

If I were you I’d just ask her to be your coach and support system in your journey and not pressure her to join, but have her participate in a fun way. (You could do it by email - and send pictures).

Sometimes with kids, you just have to be sneaky…..

[PAMMIE]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/06/25/...in5112393.shtml

AN EXTREME CASE BUT THIS THREAD MADE ME THINK OF THIS ARTICLE I READ LAST WEEK

[Smiley]

From a psychological standpoint, she has to come to the end of herself and decide that the band is right for her. Most children cannot make this decision at the age of 10. If she could be banded and the decision was made for her to be banded, it could have an even more devestating effect on her.

My parents put me on my first diet when I was 5 years old, before I had even started kindergarten - talk about not feeling like you were accepted for who you were. I also remember my mom absolutely begging me to drink the grapefruit juice the diet said I had to have for breakfast every morning and me laying in bed crying my eyes out because I hated the stuff. The smell of my nephews pink grapefruit scented handsoap makes me nauseous and reminds me of those mornings every time I wash my hands in their bathroom (may start taking my own soap). I also remember being a sophmore in high school and being told while on another parent determined weight loss program that if I would follow all the rules and lose the weight that after I was done my dad would like to then go on the diet - guess they couldn't afford both of us doing it at the same time. I lost weight but didn't complete the program and struggled for a few years feeling like my dad's weight problem was partially my fault (I'm over that now). The weight loss programs that truely worked for me and the one that finally did the trick were the ones that I decided on because I was in control of my own life and ready to change my life - hence my decision to be banded.

My mom had my thyroid check a couple of times but that never turned out to be the problem - even though I wished it had been so that something besides me would have been to blame. I am not a nurse, although at the age of 10 I thought I was going to be, but my limited knowledge tells me that when a person has a thyroid problem, the thyroid probably does or doesn't do its thing based as a reaction to the types of food that we put into our bodies as opposed to forcing us to put certain types of food into our bodies. Until your sister can recognize this and realize that her daughter's thyroid is not forcing her to provide Big Mac's, pop, Doritoes, etc. to Molly, she will not change her ways of providing nourishment for Molly or the rest of her family. What is your sister's weight/health level like?

What you need to do right now is be a positive example for your niece and to love her unconditionally. You might be on the other side of the globe, but with so many forms of communication available to us today, you need to make sure that you develop a loving, no strings attached relationship with her. Let her know that you are there for her in a non-judgemental way no matter what. At some point she may seek out your advice or help in regards to weight loss, but unless she comes to that conclusion on her own, I am afraid that your attempts to help her may be futile.

I hope this post wasn't too much of a downer. I do understand where you are coming from. I have a sister-in-law that believes McDonald's, Sonic, Arby's, pizza and milk are the five food groups. Thankfully, at this point my nephews are more like my brother in that on their own they order the salad off of the children's menu or ask for steamed broccoli as the side to go along with their corn dog at Chili's, but that may not always be the case. I just pray that I can continue to be a positive role model for my nephews, my sister-in-law, and my dad.

[Red]

:-? Wow, a really good string of discussion here. I really feel for obese children. I was one and now I'm an obese adult who will be banded on July 21st by Dr. Ortiz. I became fat at age 5 and by age 12 I was 180 lbs. I go by my nickname "Red" now, or my given name "Patricia", but as a child, it wasn't uncommon to be called "fatty Patty". That has bothered me my whole life and obesity is more mentally painful when you are a child than when you are an adult, because you don't feel like you have any control over anything. You feel like you are on the outside of life's bubble, looking in. Obesity kept me from participating in anything in High School that interested me (except choir, which I loved), because I was embarrassed of my body. I feel like this body kept me from a happy childhood, and if something like the lap band would have been available back then (I'm 51 now, menopausal and have Hypothyroidism, which doesn't help) and offered to me by my parents, I would have taken them up on the offer. But the lap band is a permanent object in your body and the decision shouldn't be made lightly. But I think that children vary in their degrees of maturity and each case should be looked at independently. Having a supportive family is the first step in the right direction. Thanks for letting me share.

[LosinItInQ8]

Thanks to everyone. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me.

[ClaudiaJohnson]

Hi,

Based on your post, I think it would also help if the parents will be educated or made understood of their child's situation. As a child, she may not really be aware of her situation. Since her parents are the ones who take care of her, they should do the necessary changes for her first even just with the food she eats... When the time comes that she has understood things about being obese and about weight loss procedures, then maybe she can undergo the surgery.