Confessional

[ValleyGirl]

So, since my fourth fill (and even after an unfill) I still can't eat more than a few tablespoons at a time without feeling that horrible crushing in my chest. Although I feel totally satisfied with that small amount of food, I can't warp my head around not eating more than that. I start feeling so sorry for myself (especially if I'm at a restaurant and can't enjoy what I've ordered). I know the purpose of the band is to help you feel full on less- but I still get frustrated when I want to eat and can't.

Anyway, over the past seven months, there have been a handful of days where my band seems to loosen right up and I can eat and eat and eat and never feel the signs of getting full. There are so few of these days that I know exactly when they were (once when I went for crab legs in Florida in February, once at a family bbq in June and LAST NIGHT). When I "open up" like this, I can't control myself. I feel like I need to make up for lost time- that I better eat NOW `cause I might not be able to later.

I started with almost a cup of gumbo (which actually was enough to feel satisfied) and when I noticed the chicken and shrimp and sausage were ALL going down okay (I usually can't eat any flesh even if it's in soup or sauce) I thought, "maybe I'll try that delicious-looking meatloaf I couldn't eat at the restaurant and brought home three days ago!). I just wanted to eat it because it was there and looked so good...I wasn't hungry. I slowly ate the whole piece. I was shocked that it went down too...and there was NO discomfort at all. I knew it was one of those rare days (no rhyme or reason) that my band was giving me a break.

I proceeded to eat about a half a bag of Smart Pop and a bunch of baby carrots with dilly dip! Oh yeah, three of my son's TRANSFORMERS freezies too! My husband and kids were out of town so it was a big eating party that only I was invited to! I wasn't depressed (in fact more relaxed than usual) so I wasn't emotional eating- just eating because I COULD. Of course, this morning the scale was up and, worse, I'm worried that eating so much could have stretched my pouch. Can you do that without feeling any pressure from eating? I could see it stretching when you have the stuffed feeling but keep eating anyway, but I seriously felt like there was no band in there.

There is no moral to this story. I guess I just needed to come clean. I feel better now (outiside of my worry about pouch-stretching). Thanks for listening!

Sabrina:)

[dawns]

Hi Sabrina,

I know exactly what you are talking about. Most days I can only eat a very small amount. I struggle to get in over 1100 calories, if that much. And then some rare days it feels like I have no restriction and I can eat anything. On those days I let myself go for it but in moderation of how much I eat at a time and I try to make sure that most foods are good for me. I don't know but I would think, and I could be wrong but I would think that the band is loose enough to let food pass through much easier so it doesn't sit in the pouch. I didn't get this band because I have been in control of my food intake! So I think probably there are a few people that have those days of just wanting to eat everything including the kitchen!

Have a great day,

Dawn

[CanadianBandster]

Sabrina - I have done it twice too. I struggle with getting in 800 calories a day and still have to do protien drinks in the morning. I have even been contemplating and unfil. Actually last night was my pig out night and it may not seem like a lot -but when you can normally only get a tsp or two of things down it sure is! I had half a sloppy joe - a freeze, two scoops (medium) of ice cream - um with that hard chocolate and sprinkles yup even had to throw that in, and a mudshake which is FULL of calories.

I didnt weigh this morning!

Im doing liquids for the next few days cuz Im all worried now and cant help it. I think even if I dont get an unfil I need a check up cuz I am so paranoid.

We are human though sabrina!

[Eclipse]

I am also guilty, had great restriction for about 1 month after a fill, now i am

feeling hungry again, yesterday I was snacking all day

and at night I had frozen yogurt with some banana and peanuts, and topped it with some

chocolate syrup! I felt so bad when I went to bed, could not face

the scale this morning. I think I should schedule a fill. I have heard

that you tighten during your time of the month but

it was the complete opposite for me. Today is a new day....

we can do this!!!!!

[ValleyGirl]

I actually loosen during my tom- but this wasn't my TOM- just a random night where I could eat and eat and eat...and did! I guess what worries me (besides stretching my pouch) is the fact that I KNOW I ate because of feeling deprived. Because I physically can't eat most days, I go overboard, or make up for lost time, when I CAN.

I think this is precisely why all diets have failed for me in the past. I would stick to the program for as long as it took to get to my goal, and the minute I got there, I'd start rewarding myself (really sabotaging myself) for all my hard work with all the foods I had missed so much. The pounds came back fast and furious every time. I'm scared to fall back in to this pattern.

I want to feel like even if something happened to my band, that I have enough self-control to do this thing once and for all. How do you get there???? I guess if you knew, you might not need to be banded. Has anyone got there, where you feel like you make good choices 99% of the time? I wouldn't say I'm an emotional eater, but I would say that I am a rebel. A soon as somebody says I can't do something/have something I want it more!!!

Thoughts?

Sabrina:)

[MyNewLife]

Sabrina,

Im glad that you posted this. I am sure we all have done this before and all we can do is get back on track. If we were the "perfect" eaters and only ate what we were suppose to, none of us would be on this forum!

My biggest issue and question is with slider foods. I dont have the problem of my band getting loose enough to eat what I want, I am pretty restricted, however there are two foods that I can eat. One is chips and Caso from Mexican food and the other is Blizzards from DQ...(ice cream with heath candy ).........I can eat the entire blizzard which is about 8-12oz (guessing).... I have a friend who eats and eats salade, no restriction with salad at all.....Will "slider" food stretch your band?

Trust me Sabrina, you are not by yourself with this one......

Carrie

[ValleyGirl]

Carrie,

Do you guys have Jugo Juice or Booster Juice where you are? I'll bet one of their frozen yogurt protein shakes would taste just as good as a Blizzard. I had one a while ago and it really was like dessert!!! Thanks for chiming in.

Sabrina:)

[MyNewLife]

No we dont have those, we do have Smoothy King. I do get a shake from there every once in a while. They have one called the Gladiator that is 190 calories and 42 grams of protien. It is good. I always want to have my "reward for the week" with NO NO foods, which is usually Mexican food (for my chips and Dip) or is a Blizzard........

Carrie

[Smiley]

I think this is precisely why all diets have failed for me in the past. I would stick to the program for as long as it took to get to my goal, and the minute I got there, I'd start rewarding myself (really sabotaging myself) for all my hard work with all the foods I had missed so much. The pounds came back fast and furious every time. I'm scared to fall back in to this pattern.

I want to feel like even if something happened to my band, that I have enough self-control to do this thing once and for all. How do you get there???? I guess if you knew, you might not need to be banded. Has anyone got there, where you feel like you make good choices 99% of the time? I wouldn't say I'm an emotional eater, but I would say that I am a rebel. A soon as somebody says I can't do something/have something I want it more!!!

Rewarding yourself is good, just not necessarily with food. Set a mini goal for yourself such as when I get to XYZ weight I am going to get a pedi/mani, get a massage, get a sitter and go to a movie in the middle of the day, or whatever it is. You had mentioned plastic surgery before, make that your end goal that once you reach your final weightloss goal that you will start consulting with plastic surgeons, even if you can't afford the actual surgery at the moment. This should at least give you something else to work towards and will definitely be a reward for all of your hard work.

I am a rebel as well. You tell me I can't do something I will do everything in my power to prove you wrong, even if it kills me. Can you turn your husbands theory that you don't need plastic surgery into a motivator - without it hurting your marriage? For me, the money I have spent and am spending on the band and the plastic surgery has helped me with self-control in that I don't want to do anything to make these expenditures a waste of good money.

Don't know if this has made much sense, but I know you can do it, or should I turn that around so as to tick you off and make you determined to prove me wrong?

[jhawkchick75]

Ohhh testify!!!!!

We all do that but I agree it makes you feel better when you can tell folks about it. I've done this more than once. Now one thing that is nice is when I did do this when I really looked at it it was SOOOO much less food than i'd normally eat before which is nice.

We have all been there so just try to utilize portion control, but most importantly don't beat yourself up over it. I just try to take it day to day and meal to meal and make the best decisions I can and if I mess up I just move on and don't stress about it.

Glad you posted that i'm sure lots of other folks can relate!