Telling your family

[DisasterWalking73]

Awww, Ashley - I am so sorry to hear your mom reacted that way. My mom's reaction was very negative at first as well, but now she seems to be coming around - and is even talking about coming with me! I'd give your mom a chance to cool down and then maybe mail her the link to the OCC's website. Dr. Ortiz's credentials speak for themselves - I think a lot of times these reactions are out of shock and fear of the unknown. Also, people hear Mexico and think "third world country"!!! - they don't realize how commonly done the surgery is, and how good the facilities actually are at the OCC. Best of luck, sweetie - I know you will find a way to make it happen.

- Deena

Im just waiting on financing, and if that falls through scrounging up the money to cover the procedure. I dont know if I should schedual an appointment. Maybe I'll email and find out. Im praying, but trying not to get my hopes up. I dont know what I will tell family. Maybe that Im going to visit a friend out of town? I dont know LoL. I've never left my daughter before so they may pick up on that I'm being dishonest.

[Red]

Well just thought I'd share this. My financing fell through, so I needed a co-signer or the money my parents put away for me in a savings account. So I called my mom and told her. She flipped, saying I was a coward and taking the easy way out. And that she doesnt support it, its the wrong decision and that I can go ahead and kill myself... Amongst some other very horrible things she said to me.

So yeah. if your gut instinct tells you NOT to tell your family. Lie if you have to. DO NOT tell them.

I get so angry when I hear stuff like this happening. Who do people, family or not, get off telling someone they are a coward for wanting to get healthy? It is hurtful and isn't logical. I can understand people being afraid of their loved one going to Mexico for surgery, because they aren't informed and have preconceived ideas, but to call someone a coward for wanting to lose weight? Oh My Gosh! Well, I had the luxury of not having to tell anyone except my husband, because my parents are gone, and all of my 7 other siblings don't live anywhere near me, and I have no children. So I didn't tell anyone. I went and had it done, then I told my closest sister when she came to visit shortly there after. I was having pain and was still on the liquid diet, so I couldn't hide that. You know what she said? "Good for you!" My siblings can see that I have gained a tremendous amount of weight over the last 10 years. They struggle with weight too. So I don't think they would ever call me a coward. I just chose to tell people after it was over. It worked out for me better that way. And I'm glad I did it! You hang in there, hold your head up, and try not to let people run your life. Take charge!

Red

[Smiley]

Hi everyone. I have struggled with weight all my life and of course my parents and siblings have always said I need more discipline, eat less, excerise more etc etc. Of course I did that for the last 40 years only to lose and regain repeatedly.

Wish I had replied sooner as I am sorry to hear about your mother's response. My original respose was going to be that you need to phrase it in terms of you are going to be more disciplined, eat less and exercise more because the band makes sure of the first two items and the third will be up to you, but something you will be more apt to do after putting the money into this tool. As was previously suggested, you might allow your mom some cool down time and then reapproach with this method. I would also be armed with this web-site and any other information you can find about the OCC, Dr. Ortiz and the surgery so that she can spend time researching it herself.

[Deleteduser]

I'm lucky. My sister got the lap-band first and everyone was so supportive, I never had cause for concern. In my personal life, I made the choice to tell a few coworkers and girlfriends. I decided NOT to tell my boyfriend.

I was kind of stressed out before the surgery and I couldn't imagine adding ANYTHING too it. His worry, his disagreement, his insistance that I didn't need it. It had nothing to do with him or his opinion. I told him from my room afterwards at OCC. He was a little pissy - but that's [i think] because me missed a chance to cause a stink.

It's scary because you think, "What if something goes wrong?" OCC has a STELLAR track record. Everything went SO smoothly. I'm a critical care nurse and I didn't see anything that wasn't to US standards. So try not to worry about that.

It's YOUR life, YOUR fat, YOUR band.

Tell them after they see your amazing results. If they give you any negativity then, they just can't be happy for you.

[AshleyB]

Hey All. thanks for the encouraging words. I really needed them. This is what I want and NEED for me. No one else. Its my life and Im taking control of it. I just have to come up with the funds to pay for the procedure, or apply again for financing once Im back at work.

Thanks again for the support and encouragement. I truly believe that no one really understands any of this weight battle, unless they've experianced it themselves.

Good luck to all of you! I hope to see you around here soon, and hopefully my post will be something like "Im getting banded!!!!!"........

[Red]

Hey All. thanks for the encouraging words. I really needed them. This is what I want and NEED for me. No one else. Its my life and Im taking control of it. I just have to come up with the funds to pay for the procedure, or apply again for financing once Im back at work.

Thanks again for the support and encouragement. I truly believe that no one really understands any of this weight battle, unless they've experianced it themselves.

Good luck to all of you! I hope to see you around here soon, and hopefully my post will be something like "Im getting banded!!!!!"........

GOOD GIRL!!

Red

[Tracie]

I must be very lucky, i told my immediate family and they are so supportive. I have decided not to tell anyone else, i won't lie about it but just not tell. It really isnt any one else's business