coming back with tail between my legs =(

[doinitagann]

Hey all,

It has been way to long since I have posted here. I really don't even know where to start except to say I am failing. I still am not sure what to do about the fills, It seems like I can get stuck on just about anything but I never feel full. I say never but I mean as far as quantity, I can eat as much as I used to. I only have a really hard time getting food down when it is that time of month. I usually end up PBing once a day at least during these few days. I am going thru a divorce right now so funds are not as easy to come by as I had expected when I got this thing over a year ago. So a fill is not in my near future. I originally lost 48 pounds but I do believe I only have 20 still off. The reason i am here now is to get some much needed support. I am getting my life in order and with that comes my body and health. Tomorrow, I start a couch potato to 3K in 90 days program with my friend. (she is a paramedic, thank GOD!!!) I am also going to live on the points system from WW for a while till i can afford the fill.

i really am curious for those who have success with the band, Have you gone thru this type of problem? DId I waste 8 grand? Am I just not at my sweet spot? I was so hopeful that this would disable my ablity to eat like I can. Ugggg.. any and all advice would be lovely. Thanks

[iamworthit]

Hey all,

It has been way to long since I have posted here. I really don't even know where to start except to say I am failing. I still am not sure what to do about the fills, It seems like I can get stuck on just about anything but I never feel full. I say never but I mean as far as quantity, I can eat as much as I used to. I only have a really hard time getting food down when it is that time of month. I usually end up PBing once a day at least during these few days. I am going thru a divorce right now so funds are not as easy to come by as I had expected when I got this thing over a year ago. So a fill is not in my near future. I originally lost 48 pounds but I do believe I only have 20 still off. The reason i am here now is to get some much needed support. I am getting my life in order and with that comes my body and health. Tomorrow, I start a couch potato to 3K in 90 days program with my friend. (she is a paramedic, thank GOD!!!) I am also going to live on the points system from WW for a while till i can afford the fill.

i really am curious for those who have success with the band, Have you gone thru this type of problem? DId I waste 8 grand? Am I just not at my sweet spot? I was so hopeful that this would disable my ablity to eat like I can. Ugggg.. any and all advice would be lovely. Thanks

Oh girl, don't think about it in terms of failure! You have done really well. I think we all struggle from time to time. I can speak for myself. I feel like I should have lost a lot more than I have almost every day. With that said, would I be where I am now if I hadn't made the choice to get banded? Probably not. I think this is a lifetime journey. People who take the weight off easily and then say it is smooth sailing from that point are few and far between, if you ask me. Weight loss is really hard and being banded isn't easy. I always laugh when people who don't know I have had WLS say, "Oh, well you have done it the healthy way - it isn't like you cheated and had surgery or anything". Seriously... People have said that to me... It constantly amazes me how judgemental people are about WLS when they wouldn't be about any other aspect of our lives. For me, that is one of the main reasons I kept my surgery 100% private and didn't share it with anyone other than my husband and my mom and dad.

Now as for your question... I don't think you wasted the money. I think you will get out of it what you put into it. Clearly you said you aren't putting a lot into it right now due to the divorce. HOw the heck could you? The stress you must be under is incredible. Don't beat yourself up! Just try and get back on a plan do what you can. I fight that daily myself. I constantly compare myself to others and feel like I am failing but in reality I am succeeding - it is just my version of success. Think of it in those terms.

I do struggle with hunger (mostly head) and right now have a really tight fill so I long for food. I am not getting nearly enough calories in and the scale isn't budging. It is odd how our bodies deal with food / lack therein.

Please, please, please, don't beat yourself up and know we are all hear for your support. I too took a hiatus from this site for a while. I am back and reading a lot of positive posts which is nice. I missed that a lot. I hope you too get something out of it and are able to get back on track because I am 100% confident you will get to your goals. You are strong and you can do it!

Take care!!!

[MyNewLife]

Well I think you have came back to the greatest place ever!! First of all you maybe failing, but you have acknowledge this (which is sometimes hard to face) and you know what you need to do, you dont have to continue to fail. You have hit a hard bump in the road, and like red says you just need some "roadside assistance". I SO LOVE THAT SAYING!!!

I think since you stated you can not afford the fills at this time that you ARE taking charge, you are starting an exercise program and you are doing something about your eating habits, that is GREAT!!!!! All you can do at this point is pick yourself up and forgot about what you did not do or what you should have done. Dont look in the rear view mirror, keep on keeping on and you will do Great!!!!

Im not sure how much of a fill you have, but everyone is different. I dont think you are at your sweet spot and You have not waisted 8 grand, where would you be without the band??? I know for myself I would be pushing 300 right now...We are here anytime you need to rant. I have found holding myself accoutable even to this board helps me stay on track. We post daily food logs and we have weigh ins on Wednesday. Would love to see you join!!!!!!

Keep your head high, look what you have done so far!!!

Carrie

[AngieB]

Welcome back! Now you can pull that tail out from between your legs, no sense feeling anymore shame. Sounds like you simply need to practice the rules. Proteins first, then veggies, fruits, carbs. Sounds to me like you are at a decent level of restriction, so take the first step and begin eating right. Once you begin to fuel your body the way you should, you will feel better, not to mention fuller faster.

Life can be hard, give yourself a break and start loving yourself now. Take a nice walk, get moving. I love walking, it brings a peace over me and helps me get my activity level up. When I first began, I could only make it a few blocks, now I can go all over my neighborhood!!! It's so awesome to see myself improve. As soon as you start seeing or feeling your cloths fit better or become to small you will build on that momentum.

Also, people who stay connected to a support group tend to loose 15% more. It helps bring your goals to the front of your mind and keeps you plugged in. Sounds like right now, it is a great time to focus on YOU!

Again, welcome back, and I look forward to seeing you around the forum.

Angie

[magkai1]

I love how supportive the people here are!

[nothereanymore]

We all go through these things, it’s hard especially when your dealing with highly emotional issues, as you are with your divorce. The band is like a set of dumbbells, if we don’t use it – it won’t do anything. But like the dumbbells, it’s always there if we ever want to pick it up and start using it again. You made a lifelong decision to change by adding it, and you still can use it and most likely need to more, now than ever.

To be honest – I bet you could do without a fill for a while, if I were you I’d just start over. Pretend you just had your surgery and go from step one. Start with a liquid diet – 28 days of pure hell, but sometimes doing something like this can help us get our mind back in focus and there’s a good chance you may have stretched out a bit – and doing this would most likely bring you back in. I’d stay on the forum and do what you’re doing – add in heavy exercise – it’s the best at getting your head back on straight. It helps to get the endorphins up and nothing is better than seeing those muscles come out.

You are starting a new chapter in your life, its going to be sad, happy, confusing and now is the best time to focus on making a new better you. Sometimes things are just meant to be, take it and go – but make the most out of it.

My thoughts are with you, I know you can do this – get back on the band wagon and start kicking some ass.

Best,

Lisa

[JennHB]

Your band might be too tight, I just went through something similar. I would have it checked. If it is too tight, you wont lose weight.

[doinitagann]

Thanks all for your replies and support. I don't know why I stopped coming around here for the support I needed. Today is a new day and I am happy to report that so far so good. I have switched up to a high protein diet and went for my walk/jog this morning...it felt WONDERFUL (not while I was doing it but after I could breath again). I am stoked to get back in control of my health. I was hoping a fill would help cause the only time I do feel anything is when I am on the monthly.

so just stopping in again and letting you all know I love your support and look forward to actually posting my success on here soon. (I have to first get the courage up to stand on the scale again....ugh)

Heidi

[Smiley]

Forget the scales, you can have success without those things. Do report on your success which will be things like drinking your water, exercising, getting in enough protein, etc.

I am sorry you are having to go thru this rough time, but I am glad you are back on the forum.

[jhawkchick75]

So glad to have you back!!! Just coming back in here is great - it is a huge support and keeps me honest!

I agree I say just forget the past and make today a new start. You still have quite a bit of weight off and i'm sure you will be back on track in NO time!

Get back to basics just like after you were banded and follow all those little rules.

Good luck!!

[AshleyMarie]

I too, was getting full off of maybe 3 bites and in the last week before seeing my fill dr. I would eat all day long. I had to get an unfill of .4 because I was not getting enough food in and was always PBing. The dr said even though I was eating all day, I was not getting enough food in because I was spitting it all up. An unfill may help you out.

[dawns]

Heidi,

It is so good to see you back! You and I were banded only 2 days apart and I always felt a little connected to you for that reason. I am sorry that you are going through the divorce stuff, that is a really rough thing to go through. (Been there done that). It is really hard to focus on just yourself when you have all these other emotions going on, but now is the perfect time to focus on YOU. You have a whole new life and world to look forward to. Keep you head up and do what you can for yourself and the rest will come.

Take care and welcome back!

dawn