Lap-Band=Emotional Roller Coaster

[AmandaSlim]

Hello,

I was banded in late June and I have yet to experience a steady loss or any real indicators of what is a good fill. I lost only a few pounds during my liquids phase and then gained them back when I went back on solids before my first fill. I received 2.4 ccs in an 11 cc band. I felt like I had decent restriction at first- I was only able to eat a half a sandwich as opposed to a whole sandwich with chips and a drink (and not feeling totally full) and I was not snacking in between meals. I lost about a pound a week. I was moderately satisfied with the weight loss but I noticed that as the weeks went on, I was becoming more and more hungry. I went on a cruise and gained 2 lbs back... sucked but I knew that it would probably happen- although mathematically I was perplexed that I ate 7,000 (3,500 cal per pound) additional calories in one week where I wasn't devouring everything in sight.

Every morning I walk 2 miles at a brisk pace up and down hills- I am an active person with a high muscle mass from collegiate sports hiding under my fat .

When I returned I went back to the OCC where I received another 2.6 ccs to make me at 5.0 ccs. I did not feel restriction but I was banking on it "settling in" within the next week. The only difference that I noticed was that I could not gulp down liquids. After gaining weight during the two weeks after the fill, I sent Dr. So a desperate email telling him about my weightloss woes and he called me back and told me to schedule a fill asap. I was at the OCC at 9:30 the next morning.

He filled me up to 7.0 ccs and I was completely closed off- water would not go down. So he removed 1.0 ccs (down to 6.0 in my band) and told me to order lunch and when I was done, come back in the room and he would see if there was still food in the pouch. I had one bite of my lunch and I started painfully burping, sliming, and then after 30 min I threw up the little piece of meat. I put my head down on the table, still burping, and waited until I felt better to try again. The receptionist came out and told me to go see Dr. So.

I was crying because of the pain and he told me that he would take out the 1.0 cc and put me pack down to 5.0cc- the level I came in with and was gaining weight with-AHHH! I begged him only to remove .5 ccs which he did and told me to come back in two weeks if I thought I needed more. I didnt really eat the rest of the day because I felt nausea ( he told me this might happen) and the next few days I was very cautious. I did go to the L.A. County Fair where the food is deep fried and totally fattening, but I didnt eat alot of it. I had my fill on Thursday and when I weighed in on Tuesday (5 days since fill rather than 7 as usual) and I was back down to my pre-cruise weight (for a loss of 2.0 lbs).

I was ecstatic and clothes felt like they fit better too. I didnt feel deprived as well. This week, however, I only lost .4 lbs and I did not eat more than the week previous. I actually felt like I had gotten tighter- not being able to finish my meals, no snacking, etc. and I am still exercising.

I am so tired of this roller coaster where I lose a little, gain a little- to the point where I hover around the same weight for months. I had 70 lbs to lose and I have lost 11 in 3 months of trial and tribulations. I wish that I could say that I could not have done this without the band but the truth is I could have with SERIOUS willpower BUT the reason why I got the band was that when I dieted before I also felt deprived/depressed which only made things worse. I just wonder now what has taken the place of the deprivation/depression? The fear of weighing in every week? The fear of getting a fill or actually knowing what is a good fill amount? What about the fear of eating around people because of the weird burping (not pb) that happens 1/2 hour after?

I understand the Lap-Band program but I also find it unrealistic at times. I cannot always eat a hunk of meat with veggies- sometimes the restaurant only has mexican style dishes or pizza or my mom is cooking something different. Do I wait to eat until I get home and grill up my lonely woman's dinner of chicken and corn? Also, I do not always want to eat meat and veg and if I had to, it would be yet another hellish diet that I could not keep up for the rest of my life. I understand that the band is a tool and not a cure-all but I am beginning to feel like I am on another diet- afraid to put anything in my mouth because I wonder if it will show up at my Tuesday weigh in- and that is no way to live.

I apologize for my LONG post but I finally decided to write rather than just browse for people with stories similar to mine. I also wanted to add, to quash assumptions, I do not drink caloric beverages (or even diet soda anymore), I dont cover everything I eat with ranch dressing or other creams, I dont eat fatty meats like hot dogs and call it a quality protein, if I snack, I try to make wise choices like hummus with veggies crisps and I exercise everyday.

Am I being impatient? I know that lower BMIs often take more time to lose the weight but I am beginning to feel more often discouraged/sad about my weight rather than happy and hopeful.

Thanks for taking the time to read this!

Amanda

[Muffintop]

Thanks Amanda for the post.

Having some of the same issues.

Also a walker and exerciser.

However, just had first fill and feel nothing.

Do the protein, exercise and water (my daily pew).

Feel the port but wonder if maybe Dr. O forgot the band.

Was first surgery on a Monday morning and we all know how Mondays can be.

Not really but...........Have I missed something?

Hope things get better for you.

Muffintop

[ksk]

I have had a VERY slow loss also with starting off with a low BMI too. Had the band in beginning of June '09 and thus far, only a loss of about 10 lbs... 10 lbs in 4 months! I've had a total of 4 fills (3.1cc's in 4 cc band) and it wasn't until this last fill a week ago that I began to feel any restriction. Whether it's the "right" restriction (what is called the "sweet spot") I'm not too sure about. But at least it's something. However, you must remain positive as difficult as it is and try not to question whether having the band was the right thing for you to have done. I know that I didn't get to where I am over night. Therefore, I will not get to where I want to go over night either... *Easier* said than done, but nevertheless, truthful...

Stick with it as frustrating as it is and give the band and YOU some time. In my mind, I've given myself 1 year to make significant progress in this journey - HANG IN THERE!!! >

[BeBe]

Keep in mind that it's not all about the numbers on the scale. I was upset that I wasn't losing at all... but then my clothes seemed loose, so I went shopping for a new pair of jeans and discovered I was a size FOUR! I had been losing inches, but not pounds.

It will happen at the rate your body wants to let go of it. Remember, your butt and your cellulite have been friends for years - it may be hard for them to part company. ;-)

[AmandaSlim]

Thank you so much for the encouragement!

I know this is a journey and I am not very patient. I need to just give it time and then go from there. Even if I lose .5 lb a week, I will eventually hit my goal and I am only 22 so I have some time

Amanda