One Sister Being a Problem...

[BrownEyedGirl]

I just need to vent. One of my sisters hasn't called me all week even though I've called her and have emailed her. She doesn't support what I'm doing but has acted as if she's kind of accepted it. But now that the rubber meets the road and I'm having surgery tomorrow she's made it about her. I wrote friends and family asking them not to call while I'm in Mexico because I get charged even if I don't answer and I want to keep the phone open in case my son needs to call and I'm sure she's having a fit about that too. She does behave horribly to me and others and never apologizes. If she does she spits out, "I'm f-ing sorry. You happy now?!" and always holds it over your head that she won't talk to you again if you point out what she does wrong. I think when I get home her and I are going to have a talk. It may be the last one we ever have but that's up to her. What is coming out is that when she is needed she's not there. In fact, she uses it as emotional blackmail and punishes others during stressful times. I'm done being fat and I'm done with this kind of behavior from her.

Just venting. Now time to pray. We leave in a few hours for TJ. Surgery tomorrow! Woohoo! I wish I had some kind of happy pill now. I could use it!!

Oh, and on a positive note, other sister is very supportive and encouraging. Way to be, sis!

[B2010]

Unfortunately, I have a fairly unsupportive family as well and have learned from the past that I'd rather not deal with their negative attitudes about decisions that I make.

So for this lapband that I will have done on 3/15 I've decided not to tell them. Of course they will all notice my weight loss and change of eating habits, and I may end up telling them in the future - but with the stress of going into surgery and also leaving my son here with his father while I have it done - I didn't' need the added stress of their comments as well.

I read a blog from another lap band patient that had only told her husband that she was having the surgery and no one else. She said it was so nice to not have to deal with all of the comments and questions that people have about it. I feel the same way at this point in my life i don't need other peoples approval about decisions that I make.

Hopefully, things in your family with your sister will change, but really, it's situations like this that end up teaching us to live our own lives and not look for approval or support from those that we need it from the most. It's kinda sad - but reality.

Good luck on your surgery! If you feel that you've made the right decision for you and your family then that's all that matters.

[JaniceBlack]

I just need to vent. One of my sisters hasn't called me all week even though I've called her and have emailed her. She doesn't support what I'm doing but has acted as if she's kind of accepted it. But now that the rubber meets the road and I'm having surgery tomorrow she's made it about her. I wrote friends and family asking them not to call while I'm in Mexico because I get charged even if I don't answer and I want to keep the phone open in case my son needs to call and I'm sure she's having a fit about that too. She does behave horribly to me and others and never apologizes. If she does she spits out, "I'm f-ing sorry. You happy now?!" and always holds it over your head that she won't talk to you again if you point out what she does wrong. I think when I get home her and I are going to have a talk. It may be the last one we ever have but that's up to her. What is coming out is that when she is needed she's not there. In fact, she uses it as emotional blackmail and punishes others during stressful times. I'm done being fat and I'm done with this kind of behavior from her.

Just venting. Now time to pray. We leave in a few hours for TJ. Surgery tomorrow! Woohoo! I wish I had some kind of happy pill now. I could use it!!

Oh, and on a positive note, other sister is very supportive and encouraging. Way to be, sis!

I have a sister just like that !!! I have found over the years that I just don't tell her things... she still comes up with crap. I have only told my husband and kids where I have the lap band done. I just didn't not want to hear their views. This was my choice and not theirs. Let us know how are you doing You have made a wise choice.

[pinkfordyone]

So Sorry! Family can be some of the toughest people we deal with. No sister, but my Mom is the one who can send my into orbit. I would have to agree with the others, you have to make the decision for whats best for YOU and your family. When you have a peace about something and all the detail work out, then go for it. You are accountable for you. Going to your sister is the right thing to do and the rest is up to her. At least your contagious will be clear in knowing you tried to make things right. You have an awesome support group here and I don't have a sis, so I'll adopt you as mine. Your going to love your new you!

[CALF]

There's an old saying about the joy of getting to choose ones' friends. Since you don't get to choose your family members it's not unusual to have some friction and unpleasantries with various relatives.

Treasure your dear friends...They are the people who support, honor, respect and want the very best for you.

Be polite to the people who do not treat you with the love, respect and caring that you deserve but Never allow them to dishonor and disrespect you.

Keep away from them and refuse them permission to be negative or abusive. You will never change them..they can only change themselves when they find themselves alone as a result of their abusive behavior.

You don't need anyone's permission to live your life to it's fullest.

Be strong and beautiful and Happy!!.

Best wishes!