How to deal with normies?

[azband4life]

I went to work out today and stopped by a friend's place to visit. She asked if I would like to join her for lunch. I thanked her for the invite but told her that I wasn't ready for restaurants since I was just banded less than a week ago. While she understood she was a bit hurt and really didn't see why I couldn't muster up the willpower to go. I know she didn't mean anything by it.

After leaving I equated the discussion as a recovering alcoholic being asked to go to the bar right after a six week stint in rehab. A bit insane.

Does anyone have similar situations and advice to avoid these experiences? I know I will have office luncheons where I will be expected to participate in the impromptu "pizza parties".

Paul

[AngieB]

I went to work out today and stopped by a friend's place to visit. She asked if I would like to join her for lunch. I thanked her for the invite but told her that I wasn't ready for restaurants since I was just banded less than a week ago. While she understood she was a bit hurt and really didn't see why I couldn't muster up the willpower to go. I know she didn't mean anything by it.

After leaving I equated the discussion as a recovering alcoholic being asked to go to the bar right after a six week stint in rehab. A bit insane.

Does anyone have similar situations and advice to avoid these experiences? I know I will have office luncheons where I will be expected to participate in the impromptu "pizza parties".

Paul

Paul - at a week post op I avoided lunch dates too. However, as soon as I hit the soup stage I went along a few time. I could that most places had soup. My favorite was Panera Bread. I chose the broccoli cheddar soup....yummo! It was a nice treat and served me well!

Getting use to ordering differently felt strange.....but I did it and lived to tell about it. Now, I do not get near the enjoyment out of eating out. Still do it, but my choices have changed and I no longer get my old favs anymore. Which can feel good or bad depending on my day! LOL

Most of my friends understand the fat girl in me. I talk frankly about my unhealthy relationship with food.....It gets better.....lots better!

[azband4life]

Thanks for your advice. I was introduced to Panera when teaching in Orlando, FL. OMG... The bread was my weakness. Thank God they are not in AZ.

I don't feel comfortable discussing my WLS at work even though they are in the medical/psychological field. I do have close friends that have had WLS themselves and other friends that are in the counseling profession. I don't know if I am actually in denial by taking this stance; however, I have learned from my past transgressions at work to keep my personal life seperate. They have asked how I have dropped the weight so far and I have stated Lean Cuisines and exercise. They say in 12 step programs, "You are as sick as your secrets" but I just think a separation of business and homelife is very important to me. This may change but I am working with very gossipy people and this is best for me.

Thanks again for the support. I look forward to hearing more from you.

Paul

[AngieB]

Ya know, I understand how hard it is to go somewhere yummy and order something WAY different than what you would have originally chosen. I have found the sparkle of eating out has changed. My menu choices have changed. I have even felt internal conflict about not being able to eat the things I one would have.

I am a food/sugar addict. Sucks to say that, but I have struggles when it comes to sugar products. My body begins to crave them and I cave and eat like crap.

Even this far out, I can get in a cycle of this behavior and it is difficult. What is the worst part is sometimes I don't want to do a damn thing about it.

Baby steps, it gets different, better, and sometimes worse. Get you head on straight and if this time is to difficult for you to go out for lunch. DON'T. IT WILL ONLY TORTURE YOU! Be kind to yourself, you are your own best friend. If you wouldn't ask your bestie to do it, don't put yourself through it.

Your life is changing and if you choose not to talk to your co-workers then don't. Make sure you have support and a place to come/go to talk to that people can understand you. This place is great! I love it.

I've learned that honesty is the atidote to my diseased thinking!

Angie

[Apprehensive]

I went to work out today and stopped by a friend's place to visit. She asked if I would like to join her for lunch. I thanked her for the invite but told her that I wasn't ready for restaurants since I was just banded less than a week ago. While she understood she was a bit hurt and really didn't see why I couldn't muster up the willpower to go. I know she didn't mean anything by it.

After leaving I equated the discussion as a recovering alcoholic being asked to go to the bar right after a six week stint in rehab. A bit insane.

Does anyone have similar situations and advice to avoid these experiences? I know I will have office luncheons where I will be expected to participate in the impromptu "pizza parties".

Paul

Hello,

So many changes have or will occur when a person begins this lapband life. I too am not too comfortable telling people at work or for that matter, telling anyone what I had to do in order to lose weight. I feel, that by me telling people that I am dieting, which is true to some extent, they don't need to know each and every part of my chosen way to lose weight. I find that some people will try to push a bit to have me taste or eat something different. With my polite, yet firm..NO THANKS..I get though situations with little or no problems. I also find that good friends and even just people at work who really care...understand and refrain from pushing too hard.

Some people ask for my diet secrets because they see the weight coming off. I tell them everything except about the band. Some things I feel are too personal to tell anyone except a chosen few. I tell them to eat 1/3rd of what they normally eat and they will usually see results. That puts them in the same ballpark, but playing a different game. So...you are not alone when you have these inpromptu pizza parties. Some things are to be left up to the person that is at the helm.

Very good post

Thanks

Appy

[EricaG]

I went to work out today and stopped by a friend's place to visit. She asked if I would like to join her for lunch. I thanked her for the invite but told her that I wasn't ready for restaurants since I was just banded less than a week ago. While she understood she was a bit hurt and really didn't see why I couldn't muster up the willpower to go. I know she didn't mean anything by it.

After leaving I equated the discussion as a recovering alcoholic being asked to go to the bar right after a six week stint in rehab. A bit insane.

Does anyone have similar situations and advice to avoid these experiences? I know I will have office luncheons where I will be expected to participate in the impromptu "pizza parties".

Paul

I'm the only female where I work, and these guys are persistent on going out for pizza or a burger. I tell them I'm lactose, or I'm cutting out meat from my food intake, or bread... pretty much anything I know is gonna get stuck. They eventually caught on when they noticed the weight loss and are really happy for me. I don't tell them I'm on a diet because I might want to have a little sweet treat once in a while, and I can't stand when people tell me.."I thought you were on a diet, should you be eating that?" It's annoying. I also tell them I'm doing "portion control" which is pretty much true. I also try to pack my lunch every day so they know I'm not ordering out. They eventually learn to respect my food decisions. I never told them I got banded, and it's not really their business to know.

[EcMjawad1]

Hi Paul,

So, welcome to the journey, the life as a banded person. This is a great place for you to come for support and ideas. So, here is my story. I had my WLS a month after my daughter and it has been the best thing I every did for myself...self care...me first...all new concepts for me, along with learning what that means for myself. Slow baby steps, each step a journey, each fill a journey. I am a very personal person and so I have not told anyone about my WLS other than my daughter who shares the journey and those on this forum, my WLS family. I did not want to have to go into details, explain my eating, feel like I am being watched, deal with saboteurs, you name it..so far this has been the best way to go for me and I am able to do this journey the way I want. I also live alone and eat out a lot...I am able to do this by ordering small meals, like salads, or appetizers as my main meal..I don't miss the bread and I even have a glass of wine. Tracking my food allows me to do this and maintain my weight loss. My weak area is exercise, which I have begun to work on! Good luck, we are here for you...

[hopingforachange]

I'm sorry, I know how tough that can be. I have had a few people take it as a personal insult; all we can do is explain and leave it up to them if they want to be understanding. Hang in there.

[Lindsay]

We live in a society where food is used as a social excuse, and therefore most of our 'social' gatherings happen around food.

I am honest, and tell people I'm watching what I eat.

For me, breaking the social excuse to go out to eat is what attributed to my weight gain in the first place.

I didn't lose all of this weight, eating garbage ..

I know how to hold my own, and I'm honest in terms of what I'll eat - I would never eat pizza or a burger for lunch. The calories make no sense to me, and obviously, not that healthy route .... I don't even need to get into the details of WHY I can't eat it. Just telling people it's part of my new eating is usually enough to keep them quiet and off my back.

If anything, you'll have people re-evaluating what they eat.

Quite honestly, who cares if you 'hurt someone's feelings' because you didn't go for lunch with them at a restaurant that probably have very few (if any!) choices for someone who's really watching what they're eating. i'd re-evaluated my friendship with said person!

[petrafarmer]

I have told very few people about my band. Frankly it's no ones business. A lot of my friends and colleagues are what you would call picky eaters so, if we go out and I pick it goes relatively unnoticed. I think we , the bandsters, overthink our situation sometimes. If you're in a group no one is really paying that much attention to what you order. We are self conscious because we know and therefor we think others must know too. If anyone questions a quick "I'm trying to eat healthier" or "I'm trying to watch what I eat" will work. For the soup phase, you can just say that you've had such a craving for soup lately you don't know what's come over you. To tell you the truth I have had a craving for soup lately and I had my second fill in August so it's not like I have to eat it.We can also say "I'm just not that hungry" it sounds weird to hear myself say that but a lot of times it's true. Hey, that's why I got the band in the first place.

[EricaG]

I have told very few people about my band. Frankly it's no ones business. A lot of my friends and colleagues are what you would call picky eaters so, if we go out and I pick it goes relatively unnoticed. I think we , the bandsters, overthink our situation sometimes. If you're in a group no one is really paying that much attention to what you order. We are self conscious because we know and therefor we think others must know too. If anyone questions a quick "I'm trying to eat healthier" or "I'm trying to watch what I eat" will work. For the soup phase, you can just say that you've had such a craving for soup lately you don't know what's come over you. To tell you the truth I have had a craving for soup lately and I had my second fill in August so it's not like I have to eat it.We can also say "I'm just not that hungry" it sounds weird to hear myself say that but a lot of times it's true. Hey, that's why I got the band in the first place.

Haha... about the soup phase. I went back to work like 2 days after surgery because I just have to sit in front of my computer and answer phones. So I dealt with my liquid diet at work in front of my "food partner in crime" that actually helped me GAIN like 20 lbs.. grr. well I told him I was trying a new thing and "detoxing" that I was going to try doing liquids and soup for a while. LOL he thought I was crazy and that I wouldn't be last 20 days on liquids. Little did he know, I had to. Well since I obviously proved him wrong, he stopped shoving the fast food in my face since I stopped showing an interest in it. But it does get annoying when they bring back food and don't ask me anymore, sometimes I want a salad.

[Lvbirgit]

"You are a sick as your secrets" .........well THAT would make me one healthy individual. lol

I am a hairstylist and telling everybody i got banded (9/9/11) My coworkers are all on a liquid diet with me!!! How much fun is this .

I told all my clients and friends I was going to Mexico to have it done and most had heart failure then but now want to go too. I was never a person trying to find excuses for my actions.

One of my favorite sayings is that i probably have lost 500 pounds in my live......of which I am tiered of and with my band I will put an end to this jojo crap!

I am 50 years old and the last 11 years living in Las Vegas. Now "all you can eat " will have a whole different meaning.

I have 2 more weeks of liquids and looking forward to be able to get going with my new found live of control!