No support

[ripcityrenegade]

Hi all, It's been a couple of months since I posted. I just need a boost. I have been very busy the last two months and have been eating the way I am suppose to and also sliding into some old habits. I gained 3lbs on vacation and my wife is harping on me about all the money and I'm not serious and "she" should never agreed to this. She also says I should workout every day not three times a week. It is frustrating especially coming from her because she does not workout and is always tired when I ask her to walk with me. It was hard to eat out as I have been cooking my own meals since being banded and could not stay in my normal routine. So I guess I will just get on here when I need a boost or some support. I had a small fill in June (2.6cc) and am going to OCC on the 27th for another. It is so easy to follow all the rules when you feel restriction, and cook all of your own meals. Any suggestions? I do not want to go back to food is my friend and always supports me. Sorry for the rant I thought losing 63lbs in 3 and a half months was pretty good. TC RCR

[canuk98828]

Hi all, It's been a couple of months since I posted. I just need a boost. I have been very busy the last two months and have been eating the way I am suppose to and also sliding into some old habits. I gained 3lbs on vacation and my wife is harping on me about all the money and I'm not serious and "she" should never agreed to this. She also says I should workout every day not three times a week. It is frustrating especially coming from her because she does not workout and is always tired when I ask her to walk with me. It was hard to eat out as I have been cooking my own meals since being banded and could not stay in my normal routine. So I guess I will just get on here when I need a boost or some support. I had a small fill in June (2.6cc) and am going to OCC on the 27th for another. It is so easy to follow all the rules when you feel restriction, and cook all of your own meals. Any suggestions? I do not want to go back to food is my friend and always supports me. Sorry for the rant I thought losing 63lbs in 3 and a half months was pretty good. TC RCR

Please do not apologize, that is one of the wonderful reasons we are all on the forum. 63 lbs in 3.5 months is more than pretty good, it is awesome. Okay so you slipped up a little on vacation, you can just get back "up on the horse" and go back to the bandster way of eating. I am a new bandster but as far as eating out, I ask for my doggy bag prior to my meal arriving and as soon as the meals arrives to the table I take the portion I am going to eat and then box up the rest. It helps me.

Roxanne

[EricaG]

I know how you feel. My parents are the same way... I prepare all my own meals for work the next day because my very sweet and helpful mother doesn't understand what "NO OIL OR BUTTER" means... but she's the first to complain about me being fat.

You are doing really good and 60something pounds in 3 months is amazing. just keep motivating yourself and don't rely on others to reassure you that you are doing great. I guess I learned to ignore others negativity and pat myself on the shoulder and tell myself im doing great. My sore legs from the gym and all the other little things that I couldn't do before that I secretly am proud of are what keep me going.

[AngieB]

Hi all, It's been a couple of months since I posted. I just need a boost. I have been very busy the last two months and have been eating the way I am suppose to and also sliding into some old habits. I gained 3lbs on vacation and my wife is harping on me about all the money and I'm not serious and "she" should never agreed to this. She also says I should workout every day not three times a week. It is frustrating especially coming from her because she does not workout and is always tired when I ask her to walk with me. It was hard to eat out as I have been cooking my own meals since being banded and could not stay in my normal routine. So I guess I will just get on here when I need a boost or some support. I had a small fill in June (2.6cc) and am going to OCC on the 27th for another. It is so easy to follow all the rules when you feel restriction, and cook all of your own meals. Any suggestions? I do not want to go back to food is my friend and always supports me. Sorry for the rant I thought losing 63lbs in 3 and a half months was pretty good. TC RCR

Hey Kevin! I was thinking of you recently, so I am thrilled to see you post. Listen, I have not changed over night. I know some other bandsters who have taken the bull by the horns and done a 180. I aplaude them, as my change has been slow and steady. I've come to realize I have an attachment to food that is much stronger than I had originally thought. So, I am a work in progress. My hubby, who by the way is naturally a thin person and does not speak my food language can not even understand my food thought process.

Jim, my hubby has been dissappointed in my weightloss success and it is hard for him to see the positive growth and changes I am and have been making. So in many aspects I understand the lack of support you are talking about.

Bottom line is I am amazed at the changes I have made in my life. Even though I still am emotionally connected to food, that has been changing and I am very proud of myself. For example, I was at Costco this weekend. I stood and gazed at a large cheese cake. Thinking about purchasing it. Guess what....I walked away, cheese cake NOT IN HAND. That my friend is huge for me. To some, it sounds like....what is the big deal. To me, it is a huge sign of growth. Before if I had some food item in my brain. I would not have walked away. I would have enduldged and at the damn thing in like a few days time.....waking up at night to eat it as well.

So, to me I measure my progess by those victories. You know you are rocking the band. I mean come on Kevin, you have lost 60 some odd lbs in a three month period. When has that happened for you before??? Oh and let me tell ya, I have been on vacations where I have packed on 10 lbs easy......can you say CRUISE!!! So a gain of 3 would be a victory for me.

This past Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years. I maintained my weight and even lost!!!!!!!!! Are you serious!!! YES! Before I would have avoided the scale all togther to soften the blow of the weight gain reality. So let me tell you my friend. You are a success and one that you should be proud of. We often don't change over night. But we do make changes. Look at all the positive changes you have made! Hang on to those thoughts and push the others away.

Sorry to ramble on and on. I am here for you to celebrate all the small success. Other people will be too. Sometimes the loved ones are slower to come around. Hubby took a picture of me this weekend and said, wow baby you are looking skinny in this photo. I am over a year out. That was one of the coolest things he could have said. Why....because he does not see my weight loss or inches diminish. I am okay with it. Does it sting...yeah sometimes, but I can see where he is coming from. When he sees me binge and make poor food choices it bums him out. I can understand that too.

Anyway....I am proud of you. You have support and so do I. (even if we would like to have it from certian people, they will come around.)

Good to see you post!

Angie

[Lindsay]

My weight loss was done on my own.

I live with my boyfriend, but I never exercise with him, etc.

That's a me thing.

[damalove]

Kevin! I was wondering how you were doing. 3 lb gain on vacation is practically a victory in my book! considering how easy it would have been w/o the band to put on TEN lbs! I have cautious support from my sister and mother, but Im careful not to tell them too much, getting "stuck" or any other annoyances of the band, bc i can feel that altho they are supportive, they are not 100% behind the idea of me getting banded. so i feel like i need to work my band not just for me but for them too. sometimes i see a raised eyebrow if i reach for a cookie and it can be annoying but also, can help keep u on track, if u look at it that way.

try to remember that the unbanded cannot really understand what its like for us to be banded, how much work we need to put into it, how careful we need to be with our food choices, etc. so get on here often like you used to, if possible. and keep your chin up. we miss you around here

[jhawkchick75]

Ditto to what everyone has said! You have done a fantastic job and have nothing to be ashamed about. Always come to this board if you need a boost it is what it is for and know you have a ton of support here. You have done a great job and we all have slips ups just don't let it ruin it and get right back on that horse. I mess up all the time but don't let me say, OK I messed that up so the rest of the week is screwed. I just get back up and next meal make good choices. If it were that easy and this would change our brains that sure would be sweet huh!?

Keep up the good work!!!

[Tangerine]

You are doing fantastic!

I have found the best exercise support at work. My man, although supportive, is not into the hardcore cardio I need. So, I take classes at my gym with my co-workers. I find them, my co-workers and the classes, the most motivating. I make my meals at the beginning of the week and throw them in the freezer so there is no thinking or trips to the cafeteria.

I think that sometimes the support system you need is not necessarily where you think you should find it at the beginning of this process. But if anything know that you have plenty of support here from your fellow bandsters. We are here for you because we all want you to succeed as much as we want and need ourselves to succeed.

[RevyD]

Hi Kevin. I agree with everyone and what has been said. You are doing amazing my friend and there is no reason whatsoever to beat yourself up over gaining a few pounds on vacation. Look how far you have come in 3 months. Do you think you would have only gained 3 pounds last year on vacation. I don't think so , your probably would have gained 13 pounds. To me that is a victory. Vacation is over now so start fresh. Today is a new day and we are all behind you 100% to support you. We all have faith you can do it Kevin. Actually you are doing it so just keep up the good work!!!!!!

Debbie

[B2010]

as everyone has already said - congratulations on only gaining 3 lbs. you'll find that these small ups and down are nothing considering where we all used to be with our weight gains and losses. It sounds like maybe you need another fill so give yourself time.

As for exercising - I honestly haven't committed the way I need to but I'm still losing......sure I could probably lose it faster but I have a million and one reasons why I don't. bottom line is I'm not a big exerciser. I'm hoping that once my weight starts plateauing some it will motivate me to get out there and do more.

don't let people beat you up about what you're doing. It may be your wifes insecurities - especially if she's overweight - if's she's not then she can't really relate to you on that level. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years after I got the band and I think he's kicking himself now that I'm down 32 lbs.

I'm not saying leave your wife - but you have to try and be understanding that this is a transition for her as well. Maybe she thinks things are going to change with you. people lash out for the stupidest reasons.

Just concentrate on yourself....that's who you got the band for.....for YOU....not anyone else!!!

hang in there and you're doing great. It's not about perfection it's about progress and mr. you are certainly making major progress!

[btradio]

I, too, recently took a vacation and came home up about 4 lbs from where I was before I left. But you know what? I didn't let it get to me. In the past, that kind of setback, minor though it is, would have totally derailed me on a diet. I would have slipped into the "Oh well, I'm a lardass, nothing I can do about it, might as well order a pizza" mindset. But I didn't do that this time. I just got right back into my routine. And I lost that 3lbs. the first week I was back. You have been incredibly successful with the band so you clearly know what to do. Just go back to doing it. Also, don't let others get you down, even a spouse. Just concentrate on doing what is best for you.

[boogeyface]

I will be there for my 1st fill on the 27th too. Hope to see you there. I think you are doing amazing! Don't harp on the vacation weight gain. Just get back on YOUR plan or exercising 3x a week or 5 if YOU choose to. Who else knows more about what your body needs. My goal is to work up to 5 days a week. I have only been walking post surgery. I need to start working out!

[ripcityrenegade]

I will be there for my 1st fill on the 27th too. Hope to see you there. I think you are doing amazing! Don't harp on the vacation weight gain. Just get back on YOUR plan or exercising 3x a week or 5 if YOU choose to. Who else knows more about what your body needs. My goal is to work up to 5 days a week. I have only been walking post surgery. I need to start working out!

my appointment is at noon.

[MyNext30Years]

my appointment is at noon.

I too just came back from vacation. I think you did phenomenal to only gain 3 lbs! I only gained maybe 1 lb if any, BUT that was only because my 3 yr. old daughter was burned and had to stay in a children's hospital (in Norfolk, VA) for 2 days. So we had to leave the beach and stay with her there while my parents and son stayed behind at the beach house. I basically had no or very little appetite while we were gone, and not much when we came back. I didn't get to drink hardly any because of the accident - so there when those calories I had planned on. lol But all is well now and it has barely affected her!

[KARENE1622]

It's fantastic!!! Don't let ANYONE get you down...not even your wife who should be wholeheartedly supporting you...you're doing great...just hang in there...we will all have our backsliding moments...

Karen

[mamabear]

I too just came back from vacation. I think you did phenomenal to only gain 3 lbs! I only gained maybe 1 lb if any, BUT that was only because my 3 yr. old daughter was burned and had to stay in a children's hospital (in Norfolk, VA) for 2 days. So we had to leave the beach and stay with her there while my parents and son stayed behind at the beach house. I basically had no or very little appetite while we were gone, and not much when we came back. I didn't get to drink hardly any because of the accident - so there when those calories I had planned on. lol But all is well now and it has barely affected her!

I am glad your daughter is ok hospital stays are scary as hell!

[azband4life]

I think we forget how addiction affects the family. We look at the disease concept model for the individual and forget how it affects others around us. They may think, 'just get over it", or "have a strong will". Many people that go into recovery for drug and alcohol are required to have the family involved. The family still treats the individual the same as it was before and then they wonder why one slips back into old familiar behaviors. My "normies" think I should be able to go out to eat with them right after the surgery. I say, "ARE YOU CRAZY?" That's like asking an alcoholic to tend bar.

Give them some time to adjust but also maybe some literature on eating disorders/support groups. Remind them that you do need all of their support.

Hope that makes sense.

Paul

[shmee]

I'm not banded yet but 60+ in 3 months- man- from what I"ve read on hundreds of forums, I've prepared myself for a slow steady 2 lbs per week. Lots of people seem to do that. Also that is a health speed. Lastly for me a steady 2lbs average per week over 2 years is something that is undoable for me unbanded. So please pat yourself on the back, in fact jump for joy, you are losing like 1 lb a day, you are awesome.

[shmee]

err I mean .67 lbs per day, a lot more than 2 lbs per week.