Pageantnurse Posted July 21, 2004 Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 I feel silly even bringing this here to the forum but I dont know where else to go. I had my heart set on getting a band. A little background : 5' 11", 265lb size 22. 31 year old nurse married 4 years no kids fat since senior year in high school, FELT fat since I was 13. (I realize now that I wasnt fat at 13 but I was overweight enough to feel inferior to the girls who could wear tops with their tummy out) Anyway, I was dead set against a gastric bypass because it was actually cutting my stomach and switching my innards around. When I found out about the band I was ecstatic. I made the mistake of mentioning it to my mom and she let me have it "you are avoiding the real problem which is self control" You will never conquer this if you just go in and artificially interfere" etc ... My family is also religious and believes that a lack of faith and prayer is a large part of my inability to conquer my addiction to food. Oddly enough I do agree with that as GOD has helped me through the ugliest parts of life. HOWEVER, I spent my 20's fat and I do grieve for those years if that is possible. Now, my family history of vitiligo has come into my life. My once flawless skin has started to lose its pigment in spots and eventually I will literally look like a spotted cow (NO JOKE I AM SERIOUS) as I am African-American it looks even worse. I don't think I can stand to be overweight on top of this and I dont want to grieve for my 30's in ten years because I am afraid to dissapoint my mom. Any advice appreciated. I am really getting depressed over this as I am getting older and want a shot at a decent normal life before these spots get to their worst. Even six months of total normalcy would be awesome. HELP !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrinkin_beauty Posted July 21, 2004 Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 hey girl interesting that you would talk about your skin problems, just yesterday i watched a program about it and how people were using laser treatments to help reduce it(Its is in Canada) If you want the band getr it don't let anyone sway you from that dicision to change your life. you don't want to look back and regret it so if you want it do it NOW. this is your life and yes God and faith are important but you still afto do your part and maybe deciding to do this surgery is doing your part, they don't know that. I'm getting my band in oct by the grace of God. I'm working two jobs to try to save part of the money for the surgery and get a loan for the rest. JUST DO IT( if you WANT it that is). Take care and don't feel down. do your research and plan for the bettter life that you deserve. Tamara pre-band Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heysuz Posted July 21, 2004 Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 Hi there, Just a couple of comments. God gave you the ability to choose. You have the right to choose to be healthy. Obesity is a disease. Those less informed think it is simply a matter of willpower, which it isn't. Perhaps you could give your family some literature about the disease of obesity, and that it's epidemic in the U.S. There is a really good article in Fortune Magazine about food being the next nicotine. That might be helpful. You are doing the right thing. Suzy 10/24/03 319/260-ish/ wherever I'm comfortable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shell Posted July 21, 2004 Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 Hi There, I have to agrree with both Sue and Tamara and also add my 2 cents worth. You are an audlt....you owe no one but yourself an explanation for doing what you want to do (unless you have a husband) I have been overwieght all my life and my mother (who is not alive, died 6 yrs ago ) was the most critical person about my weight my entire life. I know though now if she were alive today and could see my success she would be so proud. She watched me struggle over the years with every diet under the sun. She did come to terms before she died that obesity was a disease, both my brother father and I are all obese where she was as skinny as a twig, just as we came to terms that her diabetes was a disease, I spent many a nights trying to explain to her that obesity is a disease just like her diabetes was. She finally understood it. You need to do what is best for you and do not let anyone change your mind. If you are not happy in your life..no on around you in your life will be happy either. I know this first hand. My family suffered at the hands of my obesity. I did not want to go out, have firends over, take my kids places etc..etc..NOW 3 months later I'm like a butterfly released from her cocoon. I have a new leash on life, my kids are so happy , my hubby is happy , my life and my families life has truly changed! I LOVE MY BAND!!! DO IT , Michelle 4.6.04 265/229/160ish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pageantnurse Posted July 22, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2004 The funny thing is that my mom is a BIG part of my reason for wanting the band. Maybe she doesnt remember the last 20 years regarding her weight but I do. I remember when she was about 35 and she said "I had better lose this weight before I get diabetes" Then it was "I had better lose this weight so that I can stop taking these pills for my diabetes" Then "I had better lose this weight so that I can come off of these insulin injections twice a day " And now its "I need to lose this weight so that I can come off of insulin, high blood pressure medicine, AND lower my cholesterol. She has struggled with her weight for as long as I can remember, and with my family history I can't afford to be in her position in 25 years. What may have been offhanded comments made in MANY conversations over MANY years has built up into a walking talking warning about my future. My aunt Helen died an early ugly death because of her food addiction. The last thing she did was take a road trip to visit all of her family members. She died two weeks later and my aunt Geraldine who drove her commented that aunt Helen seemed disgusted with food during that trip and only ate a sandwich and a diet coke THE ENTIRE WEEKEND. I think she realized that she had been deceived by food and fell out of love with it too late. I just dont wanna end up that way THANX FOR THE KIND WORDS, YOU CHICKS ROCK !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heysuz Posted July 22, 2004 Report Share Posted July 22, 2004 I went back and read your first message after reading this one, and my first thought was that maybe your mother is a bit envious because you have this option and she doesn't. Do you think that could be it? You are going to be amazed at how differently people treat you when you make the commitment to go forward with this, when you have the surgery, and then when the weight starts coming off. It truly is a journey, and it ain't just about the weight loss baby! Everything changes. Attitudes, friendships, your own emotions, the way food tastes, .. just so much. It's a wonderful experience and I wouldn't change a thing. You just have to keep yourself open to all the wonderful changes, and let the negative stuff roll on by. Stay true to your convictions and you will be one happy woman! Suz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pageantnurse Posted July 22, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2004 Thank You Suz for that. Actually, her insurance would probably cover her since she has worked for the state for 20 years and has high BP Diabetes etc... But thanx to the women here I am realizing that it isn't about her at all. I discussed it with my husband and he says that he wants me to be happy and will support me. I dont think he has any other motives because I am the size I was when I married him. It is just such a big decision and not having your own mothers support when you always have before... Well maybe I can find some here. Since my last foray into dieting has failed(weight watchers) I have decided to stop kidding myself and do it. I can work and get the money in a month or two but I wanted to know how much it costs to go to DR Ortiz and have it done, can't find it on the web anywhere. Thanx a bunch Suz Erika Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readytojet2 Posted July 25, 2004 Report Share Posted July 25, 2004 I have to say that having your family's support really helps on this journey. But when my sister started exploring this option I was least of all supportive when she said TJ was the location of the surgery. I went and had the surgery 6 weeks later. I am a nurse as well and the thought of surgery outside of the USA freaked me out. This has been a rollercoaster for me personally. I have lost 40lbs since 3/26/04 and had some hairloss and lots of PBing( because I did not know how to chew enough). But this has been the best thing I could have done for me. My sister, my mom, and I are all bandsters and we are all thrilled with the changes it has made in our life. Go for it if you believe it is the right thing for you. When the weight starts to come off your family will come around, but remember your health is most important to you so take control and make a change you will not regret. Sabrina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pageantnurse Posted July 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2004 Thanx Sabrina !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maplewillow1 Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 I had feelings about the rouxen y like you did about changing what God put together and maybe ending up with more problems than I had. I had started the process to have that 5 years ago then lost insurance to cover. I'm glad now because of the band option. I have prayed for this and feel God has provided it, because everything so far has come together. Has anyone had surgery at Ohio State University hospital's Bariatric clinic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calbris2 Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Hi Erika, I'm scheduled with Dr. Ortiz Aug. 4th. My cost was $8,995. That includes transportation from the airport, 3 nights hotel, all preop and free fill (excluding fluoro). I'm very anxious to go. I think I'm just soooooooooo ready to start my banded life that I haven't even really been nervous about the surgery itself. I've been researching the band and reading posts from different boards since around the beginning of May. I know this is the best thing for me. Wish me luck and good luck to you! Doris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted July 31, 2004 Report Share Posted July 31, 2004 I got the same reaction from my brother when I told him I was doing this surgery. He told me I need to fix the problem in my head and just learn to have self control. I argued with him over this but in the end I feel it is my decision not his and this is my body not his. Good luck to ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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