kym828 Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 So it has been a year since i was banded by dr ortiz in TJ. First, this was the best decision i have ever made for myself and i am so much healthier than i have been in at least 20 yrs. i have gone from a women's size 20-22 to a size 12-14 (12's are very tight but i can still get them on) i now shop in the regular misses department and no long visit the fat shops. my goal was to lose 50 lbs the first year and i actually lost 56 lbs. i have 44 lbs to go over the next year and i have no doubt that i will hit that goal. this is all the positive part... now i want to tell you the down side as a single person....if you are single you will get this - otherwise you might think i am crazy and whiney but i would like to tell it all for those of you that are looking for the miracle answer. my self esteem is actually worse now than as a fat person... i am now very self contious when i walk into a room. for a woman who has hid behind layers of fat for 20 yrs this is terrifiying feeling... i wonder why are they looking - men and women alike.. am i dressed ok? do i have something on my face? etc... even though i am now classified as average size i still see myself as a size 20-22 when i look in the mirror. i dont see what others see and i dont understand when people come up and tell me i am beautiful... hello are they looking at me? the worst part of all is the male attention.. i dont know who is real and who wants to know me or who just wants a peice of a$$. i used to walk in a room and own it as a big girl... after all everyone likes the big girl, she has personality to make up for her size. now i have no confidence and i am shy and intimidated by attention. i know this is just the adjustment period and i will get used to it and learn how to handle it but for now it is depressing and scarey. this weekend i had planned on taking pictures and posting them but honestly i was too depressed to want to get in front of a camera. i will post pictures over the next couple of weeks because i know how insperational they are and motivating for everyone that is just wanting to lose wt and be healthy. again, i am so glad i made the decision to have the surgery and i love my band, but remember just because the outside starts to look healthy and normal doesnt mean that the inside will automatically follow.. it is alot of hard mental work to be healthy inside and out. kym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristi Ann Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 congrats!!!! =D> i, too, was banded a year ago--and am down from a size 16/18 to a size 7/9! look at me now! thanks, dr. ortiz! http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b264/maz...y/11-4-07bb.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbird Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 Kym, I think you should get those pictures taken and post them around your house, to remind yourself how beautiful you are! Congratulations on your success and best wishes on your future attainment of your goals. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kym828 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 Kym,I think you should get those pictures taken and post them around your house, to remind yourself how beautiful you are! Congratulations on your success and best wishes on your future attainment of your goals. Chris thanks Chris, it really is a mental game... even when i see recent pics i see a really fat girl with a pretty face. i had the same problem when i first got heavy 20 yrs ago... i thought i was still average and i was actually huge! my brain just takes awhile to catch up with the rest of me. i just dont want others to get discouraged if they are experiencing the same thing. i definetely prefer the messed up self image i see in my own minds eye compared to what i saw 20 yrs ago. this also gives me a whole new understanding of how anorexic people think they are fat. self preception is a strange thing. kym kym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted November 6, 2007 Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 So it has been a year since i was banded by dr ortiz in TJ. First, this was the best decision i have ever made for myself and i am so much healthier than i have been in at least 20 yrs. i have gone from a women's size 20-22 to a size 12-14 (12's are very tight but i can still get them on) i now shop in the regular misses department and no long visit the fat shops. my goal was to lose 50 lbs the first year and i actually lost 56 lbs. i have 44 lbs to go over the next year and i have no doubt that i will hit that goal. this is all the positive part... now i want to tell you the down side as a single person....if you are single you will get this - otherwise you might think i am crazy and whiney but i would like to tell it all for those of you that are looking for the miracle answer.my self esteem is actually worse now than as a fat person... i am now very self contious when i walk into a room. for a woman who has hid behind layers of fat for 20 yrs this is terrifiying feeling... i wonder why are they looking - men and women alike.. am i dressed ok? do i have something on my face? etc... even though i am now classified as average size i still see myself as a size 20-22 when i look in the mirror. i dont see what others see and i dont understand when people come up and tell me i am beautiful... hello are they looking at me? the worst part of all is the male attention.. i dont know who is real and who wants to know me or who just wants a peice of a$$. i used to walk in a room and own it as a big girl... after all everyone likes the big girl, she has personality to make up for her size. now i have no confidence and i am shy and intimidated by attention. i know this is just the adjustment period and i will get used to it and learn how to handle it but for now it is depressing and scarey. this weekend i had planned on taking pictures and posting them but honestly i was too depressed to want to get in front of a camera. i will post pictures over the next couple of weeks because i know how insperational they are and motivating for everyone that is just wanting to lose wt and be healthy. again, i am so glad i made the decision to have the surgery and i love my band, but remember just because the outside starts to look healthy and normal doesnt mean that the inside will automatically follow.. it is alot of hard mental work to be healthy inside and out. Kym, I understand how you feel. Sometimes I think I gained the weight because it shielded me from men and other people. Then my health became a big issue and it was either die soon or do something about it. I have just started my journey, down 24 lbs. I am married and sometimes wonder what is in store for me and my husband. I worry about loose skin and what will it look like. I have never liked looking at my naked body and have avoided having my husband see me too but I will continue to lose weight for my health and hope for the best with the other issues. kym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kym828 Posted November 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 thanks for the responses... suzie, yeah i am worried about the saggy skin too but so far so good. i wanted to tell you what triggered this depression for me a couple weeks ago and it is still hanging around.... i have a guy friend who is extremely blunt and just tells it like he sees it. we were talking about my one year band anniversery coming up and how much i had lost. then he says to me and i quote "i cant believe anyone would ever have been with you the size you were a year ago - you were so huge and had the biggest thighs i have ever seen!" now, i know he meant this as a compliment, but seriously i am still the same person i have always been inside. it crushed me to think that people, even people that actually care about me as so shallow! even my ex-husband is suddenly trying to pay me more attention, which irritates me because he used to call me walmart white trash... so you know every time he asks me to go to dinner or go get a drink i tell him he doesnt want to be seen with the walmart white trash and now he says he didnt mean that blah blah blah. i still wont go out with him but he is persistent -it has never been more obvious to me how men think with the little brain. (no offense to the really good guys on here that have a totally different perspective) i really dont want to turn into a man hater but it is hard to weed out the good from the bad and sometimes i miss that fat suit and being able to hide! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dontondan Posted November 6, 2007 Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 I am so inspired by what I am reading here. Everything is so true. I am scheduled next month for my visit to Dr. Ortiz. Amen and Hallelujah, but I am also used to protecting myself and hiding behind a layer or two of fat. I am uncomfortable getting compliments and I am worried how guy attention will affect my husband and my marriage. He is a great guy and doesn't care one way or the other what I decide to do. You do know who your friends are when you are fat.....they accept you regardless. Something to ponder........ Donna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda Gabriel Posted November 7, 2007 Report Share Posted November 7, 2007 So it has been a year since i was banded by dr ortiz in TJ. First, this was the best decision i have ever made for myself and i am so much healthier than i have been in at least 20 yrs. i have gone from a women's size 20-22 to a size 12-14 (12's are very tight but i can still get them on) i now shop in the regular misses department and no long visit the fat shops. my goal was to lose 50 lbs the first year and i actually lost 56 lbs. i have 44 lbs to go over the next year and i have no doubt that i will hit that goal. this is all the positive part... now i want to tell you the down side as a single person....if you are single you will get this - otherwise you might think i am crazy and whiney but i would like to tell it all for those of you that are looking for the miracle answer.my self esteem is actually worse now than as a fat person... i am now very self contious when i walk into a room. for a woman who has hid behind layers of fat for 20 yrs this is terrifiying feeling... i wonder why are they looking - men and women alike.. am i dressed ok? do i have something on my face? etc... even though i am now classified as average size i still see myself as a size 20-22 when i look in the mirror. i dont see what others see and i dont understand when people come up and tell me i am beautiful... hello are they looking at me? the worst part of all is the male attention.. i dont know who is real and who wants to know me or who just wants a peice of a$$. i used to walk in a room and own it as a big girl... after all everyone likes the big girl, she has personality to make up for her size. now i have no confidence and i am shy and intimidated by attention. i know this is just the adjustment period and i will get used to it and learn how to handle it but for now it is depressing and scarey. this weekend i had planned on taking pictures and posting them but honestly i was too depressed to want to get in front of a camera. i will post pictures over the next couple of weeks because i know how insperational they are and motivating for everyone that is just wanting to lose wt and be healthy. again, i am so glad i made the decision to have the surgery and i love my band, but remember just because the outside starts to look healthy and normal doesnt mean that the inside will automatically follow.. it is alot of hard mental work to be healthy inside and out. kym I too see myself as fat still!!!! I was banded June 6, 2007 and have lost 47 pounds so far and still have 53 more to go. I can now wear clothes that I bought when I lost weight 5 years ago, but I still see myself as fat. I am now working out at CURVES, a early Christmas gift from my husband. I don't accept compliments well and I still can't picture me as a smaller person even though I wear smaller clothes. Just stick in ther and maybe we will get better at accepting how we look. Best of luck in losing your last 44 pounds. Rhonda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenny Posted November 10, 2007 Report Share Posted November 10, 2007 Hi Kym, I read your posts and those to follow, makes my heart so sad. Especially your X hubby, Thank goodness he's your "X". Hes an idiot, BLOW HIM OFF!!!! & don't go out with him. How many yrs did he treat you like that without respect?? :-? Your a "NEW you" now, your not with him, not the same frame of mind, not the same physical appearance. People can be so darn mean. You know, manybe we have friends in our lifes circle for a reason. Maybe you felt safe before ,because you knew what to expect from them, even it it wsan't nice. This will be a scary journey for you. Some people just aren't nice reguardless, some are wonderful no madder what. You will unfortubatly run into both. Write down a list of all the good things about you, and post it in the bathroom on the mirror. So everytime you see it you will reaffirm to your self these things. Some of the old people in your life may be replaced with some new ones that are"POSITIVE". > What would you say if your child told you someone had said those things to them? You have to realize its coming form "THEM" not you. Its THEIR problem. love your self. Be your self, Make new friends, take a risk, You have come along way, and I'm proud of you for that!!!! This is your life. you make it into what ever you want!!! You go girl!!!! Brenny P.S. sorry for getting on my soap box. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted November 10, 2007 Report Share Posted November 10, 2007 So it has been a year since i was banded by dr ortiz in TJ. First, this was the best decision i have ever made for myself and i am so much healthier than i have been in at least 20 yrs. i have gone from a women's size 20-22 to a size 12-14 (12's are very tight but i can still get them on) i now shop in the regular misses department and no long visit the fat shops. my goal was to lose 50 lbs the first year and i actually lost 56 lbs. i have 44 lbs to go over the next year and i have no doubt that i will hit that goal. this is all the positive part... now i want to tell you the down side as a single person....if you are single you will get this - otherwise you might think i am crazy and whiney but i would like to tell it all for those of you that are looking for the miracle answer.my self esteem is actually worse now than as a fat person... i am now very self contious when i walk into a room. for a woman who has hid behind layers of fat for 20 yrs this is terrifiying feeling... i wonder why are they looking - men and women alike.. am i dressed ok? do i have something on my face? etc... even though i am now classified as average size i still see myself as a size 20-22 when i look in the mirror. i dont see what others see and i dont understand when people come up and tell me i am beautiful... hello are they looking at me? the worst part of all is the male attention.. i dont know who is real and who wants to know me or who just wants a peice of a$$. i used to walk in a room and own it as a big girl... after all everyone likes the big girl, she has personality to make up for her size. now i have no confidence and i am shy and intimidated by attention. i know this is just the adjustment period and i will get used to it and learn how to handle it but for now it is depressing and scarey. this weekend i had planned on taking pictures and posting them but honestly i was too depressed to want to get in front of a camera. i will post pictures over the next couple of weeks because i know how insperational they are and motivating for everyone that is just wanting to lose wt and be healthy. again, i am so glad i made the decision to have the surgery and i love my band, but remember just because the outside starts to look healthy and normal doesnt mean that the inside will automatically follow.. it is alot of hard mental work to be healthy inside and out. kym Hello Kym. This is Suzie again. I so understand where you are coming from. I was very nieve about men and their thoughts. My husband has taught me quite a bit about how men think and many of the things he has taught me I could of gone my whole life without knowing. My first husband was not blunt but had an affair where he declared his love for the woman in front of her and I and I divorced him. My husband now is very blunt also. When we married 17 years ago he moved me from my family and I gained 40 lbs. within the first year of our marriage. I missed my family so much. I moved to a new depressed city, took on 2 new step kids that he had custody of, ages 3 and 5, took on a new teaching job in a very challenging school system, and had his ex-wife walking in and out of their previous home any time she pleased which we were living in. I had two kids also, ages 5 and 7. I sometimes wonder how I survived. I know there was a part of Bob I really loved and wanted but with all our new changes neither of us was at our best and I was steadily gaining weight. I was so resentful of him for moving me to his horrible city. He could be generous and so kind. He took me home whenever I wanted and would stay the weekend with my parents and not complain. I knew though, he did not like the weight gain. He didn't have to say it. I knew. He would do other things. He would bring home diet sheets, books, tell me about diet TV shows and my self esteem fell way down. To make a long story short I knew I was going downhill. I decided I was not going to continue this spiral. I had to get strong and not let his words hurt me. I started looking at him clearly, asking myself why would he say such a thing, I knew it was not all his fault. He was not happy either and he felt guilty for mvoing me. He didn't like the weight gain and I didn't either. I finally started telling him I was getting his message and didn't like it. When and IF I decided to lose weight would be my decision and he could not make me until I decided to do it. Everytime after that when he would imply something I would stand up to him firmly yet with a certain amount of understanding of where he was coming from. By this time I was diabetic and had high blood pressure. I knew he worried about my health too. It was not a good time but slowly I regained my self esteem with no help from anyone but myself. I did not lose weight and in fact gained more but somehow I knew I was not going to let HIM get me down. The strange thing is I think he started to love me more. I remember one time after an argument I said Bob I am not crying this time. All these arguments do is drive me further away from you. I think that statement said it all. Things steadily got better but I had to change it. The point of this is talk to yourself. Build your self esteem and do not let men or anyone else make you feel bad including your ex. Tell him the damage he has done to you is in the past and you will never let him hurt you like that again. He does not have that power any more. Tell him also to keep his thoughts about your body to himself. You don't need them. If you want a relationship with him again it is possible. Just ask him who in the hell he thinks he is talking about your thighs? Then ask him why in the world would you make such a comment to me? Then let him squirm. Make him realize he does not need to tell you things like that. My husband still has a mouth with other people, still blunt , but he is more careful with me and he has learned a few things and I love him all the more for trying. I still struggle with low self-esem sometimes and better self esteem other times. I guess I think that is what life is. , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kym828 Posted November 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2007 Brenny and Suzie, Thank you so much for the kind words. i am doing better this week. i have some really good girlfriends that rallied around me and reminded me that these people that say these terrible things really do not matter one bit in my life and their not all that wonderful themselves. as for the ex husband, we were only married two years and together a total of 3 1/2 - which was 3 1/2 years too long. i am really trying not to be so untrusting of new men i meet but i swear the ex did a bait and switch on me that has left me doubting peoples intentions. he was wonderful sweet and attentive when we were dating and even the first year we lived together. i swear the day after we got married he totally changed. one of the first things he said to me was that my son would never amount to anything if he didnt toughen him up. he became verbally abusive to my son and said the only way to raise a boy into a man is to have that boy afraid of his father figure... so he tried to get my son to be terrified of him. it was the worst experience i have ever been through. my son's real father is a wonderful man that has always played an active role in his life... which is one reason i was blind sided by the ex-husbands behavior, i didnt know people could be so mean!! it was 2 years of pure hell with me and my son walking around on egg shells, me gaining 100 lbs in that time frame from stress and looking to food for comfort and also my son gained quite abit of wt - he was always a big boy but not fat - healthy. he put on extra 40 to 50 himself. this man destroyed my son's self esteem and made him so rebellous that i was so afraid my son would turn suicidel. his grades went from B's and C's to straight F's. teachers passed him year after year because they said he knew the work he just wouldnt do it...my son and i were so unhappy and finally one day i was so worried about me son that we left and by then we both truly hated the man i had married. we got our own place and my son swore he would straighten up, he tried but it was too late. after going thru all of middle school getting straight F's he was too far behind starting his freshman year of hs and he had no idea how to study and apply himself. at this point i had to do something or i was going to lose this child forever, i ended up sending him to Cal Farlys Boys Ranch in Texas (we live in Colorado). this is a wonderful place, that is free, ran by donations only. my son needed structure, direction, and something to live for... with me he was lost and sad and giving up on ever graduating. this was the hardest decision i had ever made. i felt like i had failed as a mother. it had always been me and my son since the age of 6. we were so close and we were a team. now i had lost him all because of some stupid guy that i fell for. i have hated myself for years because of this and i have hated men too. the first year my son hated me so bad, he kept crying and yelling at me to tell him the truth that i just didnt want him. it broke my heart and crushed me to think he believed this when all i wanted to do was save him. - 4 years later... now my son is 6'2" and 220 lbs... he is a senior in high school, still on the ranch and is so happy and so good its amazing. i went to see him a couple weeks ago for his homecoming and he was crying i thought because they had lost their football game... he surprised me - he looked at me and said "mom, i am going to miss this place and these people so much when i graduate and have to leave here." he then thanked me for sending him and told me if i hadnt sent him he would have dropped out like alot of his friends have here in colorado. finally i had made this mess right for him and i am so thankful that he now has the tools to be successful. he will be coming home next summer to go to college and he wants to live with me until he transfers to the university. the ranch is paying for most, if not all of his college as that is part of the deal for the kids that graduate from the ranch. I know it all turned positive after the hell we went thru, i am trying very hard to focus on the fact that this story has a happy ending. i am damaged from the experience. my son has told me he would like to see me date again as i have not had a real boyfriend since this experience ended back in 2003. i am so scared of screwing up again, but also i dont want to pass up the chance to meet a really good guy because of the asshole ex... that would be giving him the power still and that is what i am working really hard on right now... i want my power back! i am sorry i wrote a book - i know we all have our stories of how we got where we are. Suzie, i so relate to your story and i am amazed you have hung in there. its like a fight or flight syndrome and i chose flight everytime! i wish you success and i am so glad you are doing this for you and no one else. thanks again girls! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kym828 Posted November 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 http://s222.photobucket.com/albums/dd187/kym828/ here are the before and after pics... kym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viridescence Posted December 6, 2007 Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 http://s222.photobucket.com/albums/dd187/kym828/here are the before and after pics... kym Hi Kym, I just read your thread. I will be banded by Dr. Ortiz in February, so I'm reading as much as I can about everybody's experiences. First off, you look great and you should be very proud of yourself! Your lack of self esteem and body image issues make sense to me. You have been working on the outside, now you need to work on the inside. Have you considered getting some counseling? I think that would help you adjust to your new appearance and how others perceive you. I have already started some therapy because I know that emotional/stress eating is what got me to where I am today, and I hope that this will give me the tools to be more emotionally and mentally healthy while I am becoming physically healthy. Best of luck and thank you for sharing your story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kym828 Posted December 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2007 Hi Kym,I just read your thread. I will be banded by Dr. Ortiz in February, so I'm reading as much as I can about everybody's experiences. First off, you look great and you should be very proud of yourself! Your lack of self esteem and body image issues make sense to me. You have been working on the outside, now you need to work on the inside. Have you considered getting some counseling? I think that would help you adjust to your new appearance and how others perceive you. I have already started some therapy because I know that emotional/stress eating is what got me to where I am today, and I hope that this will give me the tools to be more emotionally and mentally healthy while I am becoming physically healthy. Best of luck and thank you for sharing your story! i have had tons of counseling for the past 9 years. it really did help alot but i havent gone in about 9 months because my therapist said i didnt need her anymore. i have basically given myself a time out and taken a step back from all social situations to give my mind time to catch up with my body. i think it is slowly working - i now see a size 16 when i look in the mirror and in reality i am now a 12. i went shopping last weekend for a thermal shirt and bought a mens XL - which always fit before, well it hung on me like a dress and i could wear the small fine - so i know i still have a ways to go. i have sworn off all men and dating situations until i figure this out and figure out their intentions... we will see what the new year brings! thank you for the suggestion and i will considerate if i dont start seeing the real me soon. kym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
restrict2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 I know exactly how you all feel- I have been a yoyo dieter and one time I actually got down to a size 4- and I was still very sensitive to the dispicable things men say... It is very hard to overcome feeling offended by that- I am just glad to have the extra perspective... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jankoke Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 I'm not trying to be a smart rear end. But, you sound like a fat person trying to get out of a skinny body!! It probably takes a lot of mental work just to get your head into a place you've never been before.........thin. Just a question about getting lapbands outside the US......WHY???????????????? I wouldnt trust those guys as far as I could throw 'em. And that aint far! Is the cost that much less?? You cant sue Mexican docs. I'm concerned about getting it done here in the US, but risking an operation it in Mexico, no way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kym828 Posted January 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2008 i went to dr ortiz because of his experience in doing the procedure.. i could have gone to a local doctor for 12 or 13k who has done less than 100 surgeries or i could go to dr ortiz who has done over 5000 surgeries for 9k. i chose experience. i dont have a lot of faith in most american facilities because they seem to forget about the patient and its all about the all mighty dollar... just my experience... in fact my local family doctor is from Egypt and he spends 45 minutes to an 1 hour with me every single time i go for a visit. he is the first family doctor i have had that i feel cares about me as an individual and not just rushing thru to get to the next patient. i understand it really isnt the doctor's fault, its just the way it usually is in America. there are exceptions so i am not bashing every american care giver out there.... however, i have no problem researching worldwide to find the best physicians for a procedure... just because a physician isnt american made doesnt mean he or she doesnt have better skills in certain areas... its kind of like comparing a ford to a toyota - we may want a ford but we all know that toyotas really are the better quality car based on the research. kym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigerlilly Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 Hi Kym, I just wanted to say that I think you look fantastic, and that I think you've done a fabulous job. People think that having any kind of WLS is the easy way out, but it's not. People who don't have a food/eating issue simply can not understand what it's like. Keep up with the good work, and try to be more objective about your reflection. Cheers! tigerlilly (Kristi) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tootsie_lou Posted February 2, 2008 Report Share Posted February 2, 2008 Hello Kym: Your pics are amazing! You look like a model, girl. I can totally relate to you in regard to the time lapse between where your weight is at and where your head is at. My teenage daughter and I both are tentatively scheduled for Feb 28th (trying to work out details -- work, school, money, etc). I was in complete denial of how big I was getting (even though I have constantly had to change wardrobe sizes--dah) until I saw a photo of myself posted at my church from Oktoberfest '07. I literally freakin' shrieked out loud! Now when I look in the mirror I have no illusions and have a plan for change (who am I-- Barack Obama? haha). Anywho--we are both determined to be success stories. For my daughter, who is almost 14, I can see the same pattern emerging as my own. I pray that this will spare her years of unhappiness and negative self-image issues. I just wanted to add that you are who you are for a reason. You have experienced what you have experienced (and have come out on the positive side, I might add) for a reason. Maybe it was to lift up many who will read your posts and be motivated to change, or to calm fears of those who do not know if this experience and all the changes that result from it is for them. You are very courageous to share all that you have shared, and in doing so have provided courage to many. Thank you for doing that. Diana Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainie Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 I'm not trying to be a smart rear end. But, you sound like a fat person trying to get out of a skinny body!! It probably takes a lot of mental work just to get your head into a place you've never been before.........thin. Just a question about getting lapbands outside the US......WHY???????????????? I wouldnt trust those guys as far as I could throw 'em. And that aint far! Is the cost that much less?? You cant sue Mexican docs. I'm concerned about getting it done here in the US, but risking an operation it in Mexico, no way! Jankoke, I think you might want to do some research before writing off Mexico or other places to obtain surgery. As a nurse for over 25 years, and someone who has researched gastric banding for the last two years, I believe that OCC in Tijuana is the premier leader in the field of gastric banding. First of all, in the US the band is rarely, if ever, covered by insurance. The average cost can be anywhere from 17,000-29,000$!!!! I don't know about you, but I sure don't have that kind of money! Secondly, the average surgeon in the US doing gastric banding has less experience than surgeons in other countries. Europe has been doing the banding for years (probably close to 15). Who do you think trains the US surgeons?? Yep, the docs from other countries! And with all due respect, if your priority is looking to "sue" someone if something happens, you may want to seriously re-think having surgery at all. The risks for ANY kind of surgery are just that...risks. There are many, many mistakes made in hospitals in our country on a daily basis. Sometimes honest, sometimes not. Remember that the price of healthcare will continue to escalate if everyone sues for each and every mistake that's made. Lainie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Bee Posted February 25, 2008 Report Share Posted February 25, 2008 I have been what you are going through about 5 different times. I have been in Weight Watchers since i was 15 and I am now 53. I have lost over a hundred pounds 3 times, and have lost, 80, 70, 50.. etc.. probably 500 pounds over the years, maybe more. The last time I lost the weight, I was in a daze. I couldn't pick out clothes for myself.. actually had a friend come and make me try on things that I thought were too small for me or would look terrible on me. I had a complete makeover, and looking at the pictures, I looked like a million dollars. I had dozens of former students come up to me and hug my neck or do the "You're Kidding!" routine on me. Each time, it make me get that little bubble of excitement, but still, every time I looked in the mirror, I saw the 280 pound person. I really didn't believe compliments, because they didn't fit my picture of myself. I have been going to a therapist for nearly three years now, for depression and other issues, and we constantly work on self-image. I am to the point that I know I see myself with warped eyes and others tell it like they see it, and that will have to do for now. At least I am not clueless. As for men.. well, I got so much attention from men that I began to get the "unknown to a fat girl" arousal thing. Now I am married, and nobody but my husband ever made me feel this way.. It scared the hell out of me that I could be feeling these things by the actions and reactions of other men, and that began my last backslide into obesity. (We have worked on how to handle that next time in therapy, too.) You know, I was a voice major in college, and after a Vocal Lab, I had a really cute Tenor tell me that "if I looked as good as I sounded, I would be like velvet to touch and rich to have." It was a roundabout compliment/insult.. and funny, after 28 years, I still remember it. My husband.. well, he is the flip of the coin. I asked him during the middle of one of my big weight losses if it even mattered if I lost the weight. He looked into my eyes and told me that he loved me whatever weight I was, and If I was happy, then he was overjoyed. then he said that the only reason he would want me to lose weight would be so he could love me that much longer. I have the only great man Paula Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdaterri Posted February 29, 2008 Report Share Posted February 29, 2008 Kristi and Kym, Thank you for your comments. I am about to be banded in March, and I have had some unsupportive comments from two friends who don't understand what my issues are really like - one of them is strongly against me having lap-band surgery, even though she's had a breast reduction for vanity/health reasons... the other just said well try Hoodia, how much do you exercise, etc. Do they think I just sit on my ass all day and devour all kinds of junk food and that I haven't tried all kinds of weight loss methods and diets? It's crazy, but I'll show them that it works when I'm able to wear a swimsuit sans tshirt and shorts at the beach! That said, I've also been considering the mental issues I will have when I do lose the weight and start to second guess what guys intentions are when they ask me out or talk to me. Do they want to get to know me, or are they just looking at me as a hot piece of ***! It will be hard to tell, that's for sure.. Does counselling really help? Terri Hi Kym, I just wanted to say that I think you look fantastic, and that I think you've done a fabulous job. People think that having any kind of WLS is the easy way out, but it's not. People who don't have a food/eating issue simply can not understand what it's like. Keep up with the good work, and try to be more objective about your reflection. Cheers! tigerlilly (Kristi) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlgpdx Posted March 1, 2008 Report Share Posted March 1, 2008 I love this thread. Kym - you have put in words what any woman who has lost/gained/lost /gained weight over the years has felt from men. I once weighed 350 lbs, lost 130lbs in 9months taken phentermine and exervising like a crazy person 7 days a week. Of course I gained most of it back. I am scheduled for lapband march 24th with Dr. Ortiz. I am now 280lbs. I had men ask me what happned when I lost the weight?? co-workers actually asked me if I had finally met a man and lost the weight for him. huh?!?!?! I was treated totally different and almost immediately turned back to food! It is, for me, a complete mental thing. I think anyone who has been very fat will always have that little voice in the back of their head screaming at the injustice of it all.. meaning when men suddenly find us attractive.. the same men would have said a rude comment had they known us a year b/4. I've experienced weird/offensive behavior from women.... saying comments like.. oh you were just sooo fat... uh yah.. thanks, now you want to be my friend?! ugh... the little thing that I do everyday is make sure when in the course of my day I encounter a woman of size I ALWAYS compliment her. I see naked women everyday, waxer/massager therapist, and ALLL my clients have body image issues! ALL OF THEM! I love getting a plus size gal on my table and telling her how beautiful her skin is, how she has great skin tone etc... women always aplogize to me for their "fatness" I always say "girl...you look good! dress well, carry yourself with confidence" I kinda went off in a few different directions sorry... this is a subject that I could talk about all day. ps I have the only great man tooo!! Mindy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kym828 Posted March 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2008 Thanks Tootsie-lou and Mindy - i appreciate the comments and advice. i wanted to update those of you that can relate to my situation. i have news, it does get better. i can finally see the changes in the mirror and my minds eye to match my body- i still have some adjustments to make but now when i look at the before pictures i really dont recognize that unhappy, fat person. As for the dating scene, i dont remember men being so flakey in my early 20's and teen years. I am having fun going on lots of first dates, some second and third dates. The wierd thing i have noticed is i have been stood up numerous times even after the guy has comfirmed the date... the first time it happened i was pretty upset in nov 07. now it seems so normal that i just laugh at the guys lack of guts to at least send a text saying something came up. I have learned to not take it personally and i actually say a little pray each and every time i meet someone new that God will reveal any red flags imediately ... thats what makes it so easy to laugh about - i just say thank you God... next..... i plan on posting more pictures at 18 months post op --- i will keep you posted.. the scales havent really moved much but the inches are still disappearing. the best part lately is that i can cross my legs like a real lady in any chair... i cant remember the last time i could do that!! i know there are alot of newbys on here - i look forward to reading your stories at 6 months and 1 yr post op - there is always more to learn. kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Bee Posted March 6, 2008 Report Share Posted March 6, 2008 Thanks Tootsie-lou and Mindy - i appreciate the comments and advice. i wanted to update those of you that can relate to my situation. i have news, it does get better. i can finally see the changes in the mirror and my minds eye to match my body- i still have some adjustments to make but now when i look at the before pictures i really dont recognize that unhappy, fat person. As for the dating scene, i dont remember men being so flakey in my early 20's and teen years. I am having fun going on lots of first dates, some second and third dates. The wierd thing i have noticed is i have been stood up numerous times even after the guy has comfirmed the date... the first time it happened i was pretty upset in nov 07. now it seems so normal that i just laugh at the guys lack of guts to at least send a text saying something came up. I have learned to not take it personally and i actually say a little pray each and every time i meet someone new that God will reveal any red flags imediately ... thats what makes it so easy to laugh about - i just say thank you God... next..... i plan on posting more pictures at 18 months post op --- i will keep you posted.. the scales havent really moved much but the inches are still disappearing. the best part lately is that i can cross my legs like a real lady in any chair... i cant remember the last time i could do that!! i know there are alot of newbys on here - i look forward to reading your stories at 6 months and 1 yr post op - there is always more to learn. kim Today I mentioned my surgery to my Optomitrist, and she said that I had lost over a hundred pounds 3 times and didn't I think I could do it again. Well, of course I could, if I had any hope at all of keeping it off. Not only have I not kept it off, but I have gained more each time. This is a last resort for me. Each person I have told, after the initial explanation, has been totally supportive. They have each had some reactions to my going to tiajuana, but they support me. My sister, the nurse (and married to a surgeon) was so happy and said I should have done it 3 years ago. You know, I didn't even tell her for 2 weeks because I thought she would just rip the whole idea apart, and I was NOT in the mood for negativity. Well, she was great. I haven't told many people other than my immediate family and my assorted doctors. I feel like it is none of their business and I would rather just surprise them. Hooray for progress, Paula Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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