Anyone felt shamed yet?

[calicat]

So yesterday I was with a group of women - we meet monthly. Anyways, the hostess offered me some yummy food - and of course at week 2 post op I politely whispered in her ear that I couldn't because I'd just been banded. She was excited for me. But went on to tell me a story about one of her co-workers who did it and felt guilty about it - as if she didn't try hard enough, or didn't work hard enough to lose weight the "natural" way. Huh. I never thought of that. My husband came home from work today and said a co-worker asked him the same question today. What's up with that?? I have PCOS so losing weight is HUGE struggle. In 6 years, my husband has watched me go to the gym at 5am, then again at night. He's watched me try WW, JC, etc. He's watched me train for a triathalon for 10 mins, compete it in - and gain 2 pounds in the end!! I never looked at this surgery as a "cop-out", but rather a proven, successful means to lose weight, and still enjoy my life, while I'm young enough to enjoy it!!!

Anyone else hear this, or feel this way??

[The Redhead]

Very interesting topic.

The thought has crossed my mind and I have considered it, but I don't feel guilty or ashamed about it because I KNOW this definitely is NOT the easy way. This surgery is a major life change. I know I have tried very hard to lose weight. The last time I lost a lot of weight (50 lbs) I struggled very, very hard to do it. The whole time I was dieting I knew that if I gained it back I'd never be able to do it on my own again. It took over a year to lose and I struggled to lose every single pound. I need this band to lose weight. Sometimes people need a crutch to lean on it life. Or as I have heard it put here, a safety net. The band is my crutch and my safety net. I have only had it just over a week but I know there has been probably a hundred times that it has kept me in control and working towards my goal. My crutch is no worse than a smoker who wears a nicotine patch or even an alcoholic who attends AA. I need this and I am ok admitting it.

Funny... do we ask smokers why they don't just quit smoking or an alcoholic to just stop drinking?

[PAMMIE]

Funny... do we ask smokers why they don't just quit smoking or an alcoholic to just stop drinking?

FOOD IS DIFFERENT THOUGH, WE "NEED" IT

A FRIEND/CO WORKER LOST ALL HER WEIGHT ON WW A FEW YEARS AGO. SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST ONE STEP AHEAD OF ME BEING SHE LOST IT "ON HER OWN" SHE CHANGED JOBS AND WE HADN'T SEEN EITHER OTHER IN ABOUT 9 MONTHS. WE MET ABOUT A MONTH OR SO AGO AND ALL HER WEIGHT CAME BACK AND GUESS WHO WAS ASKING ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY?

[Wendy]

Amen Sister!!!

I felt guilty about being fat before I decided to do this. By reading Dr. Ortiz's book, I have learned that I would have stayed on the diet yo-yo for life. Now I feel educated and empowered and definitely no guilt.

[The Redhead]

But really even though you have a band you still lose the weight on your own. It is YOU that has to chose what you eat. You could eat around the band and drink milkshakes or eat ice cream and not lose weight. There are lots of people that have the band that don't lose weight and have it removed and there is some people that gain weight back, even with the band. (Check out some of the videos on YouTube). YOU have to make the band work. Why be ashamed you chose this method to lose weight. WW is a support group that provides a diet for you to follow. So is LA Weightloss, SuperSlim, Dr. Bernstein and others. All those people that lose weight with those businesses are on a diet, just like us. They are choosing better, healthier foods. Just like us. No real difference between lap banders and them.

Ultimately it is still you making the band work. I am proud that I (ME) have lost 10 lbs. I will be proud when I lose more weight. I know that it is ME that has turned down the cookes or donuts and other high calorie, high fat foods. We don't need to be ashamed. We are all working hard to lose our weight.

[MamaMichelle]

So yesterday I was with a group of women - we meet monthly. Anyways, the hostess offered me some yummy food - and of course at week 2 post op I politely whispered in her ear that I couldn't because I'd just been banded. She was excited for me. But went on to tell me a story about one of her co-workers who did it and felt guilty about it - as if she didn't try hard enough, or didn't work hard enough to lose weight the "natural" way. Huh. I never thought of that. My husband came home from work today and said a co-worker asked him the same question today. What's up with that?? I have PCOS so losing weight is HUGE struggle. In 6 years, my husband has watched me go to the gym at 5am, then again at night. He's watched me try WW, JC, etc. He's watched me train for a triathalon for 10 mins, compete it in - and gain 2 pounds in the end!! I never looked at this surgery as a "cop-out", but rather a proven, successful means to lose weight, and still enjoy my life, while I'm young enough to enjoy it!!!

Anyone else hear this, or feel this way??

This was/is a big fear of mine and was a big part of why I didn't tell anyone that I was getting banded... I think that now that I have seen some results if I wanted to tell someone I don't think they would question my reasonings... obviously I chose this method because I knew it would work for me!! If someone did question why I took the "easy way out" I would tell them about the liquid pre op and post op diet the bandster hell issues and see if after knowing all of that if they still considered that to be easy, lol..

[BrooklynIrish59]

Wow, this is an interesting topic! For the last two weeks as I have been gradually losing weight pre-operatively, I start questioning myself....if I can lose this weight doing it this way, WHY put myself through a surgery? Why not just keep doing what I'm doing? My husband supports me, but isn't thrilled about me flying out of the country for this type of surgery. "I love you just the way you are" he tells me....he's a keeper for sure!

BUT Redhead is right...this is no different than others, like smokers who need to where a patch to help them quit. And let's face it with those of us who struggle with our weight, sometimes it's not JUST about overeating, but dealing with genetics.

At the beginning of this year, I declared 2008 the year I take care of ME. Eventually with the bands help, I will learn to listen to my body about food intake and I will learn portion control and wise choices. And after a while, it won't feel like a struggle, it will become a way of life. I made one last trip to my family doctor yesterday before surgery. While she certainly recommends the lap band surgery, she reminded me that even with the band, I have to make it work. AND I WILL!

So no, I don't feel the least bit guilty....I'm going to be laughing all the way to the skinny clothing store!

Welcome back MamaMichelle! I'm leaving tomorrow morning for my band on Monday.

[lynna]

I have PCOS too as well as hypothryoid...so losing weight for me is a BIG struggle. I am an outgoing person so I have told some of my close friends....I don't act like I am ashamed so no one has said anything negative to me...yet! I haven't lost a lot of weight but already with 17 lbs gone I feel much better, my legs and hips don't ache as much as they used to. Having the band is just a tool we use to lose weight. We still have to choose to eat the correct things everyday. everymeal. Now for me I am still on liquids, but even here I am trying to get liquids that will help my body heal.

Take care and hold your head high.....We tried everything...I even did 15 weeks of total liquids on one of those doctors fasts....got huge bruises and felt sick....and guess what the weight came back! I think the best response to the naysayers is when 5 years down the road we still have weight loss and are healthy!