Dealing with the Mental Side of it All

[Alana]

Now that we've all started or are starting on the physical aspect of becoming healthy, I'm wondering if anyone is venturing in to the mental side of it. We all got here for different reasons and training our heads is just as hard as training our bodies. I plan to meet with a licensed therapist to discuss my issues so I can confront this head on. The forum is wonderful for support, advice, comfort, encouragement etc, but I feel like I should speak to someone who is trained to deal with these types of issues.

I know I'm addicted to food. I go to food when I'm sad, happy, angry, depressed, excited - whatever the emotion is, I'm eating. I grew up around a few family members that dealt with drug abuse problems and I knew I NEVER wanted to be like them. But, I am - just with food instead of drugs. They've all gone through their own respective rehabs and I feel like this is mine.

Anyways, if anyone else has done the same, please post and let us know you're experiences and whether you think it's helping you or not.

[GaGirl77]

I am exactly like you.. My whole family struggles with alcohol and drug addictions. Food is mine just like yours. I'm going to get my start at rehab tomorrow I'm so nervous!!

[LoraLW]

Alana good job on listening to yourself. Best of luck with the therapist keep us posted on your progress. Lora

[God4me]

Alana,

You are the bomb! Do you know how many people will not admit what you just said! Its all mental and people do not realize that........were big gals for some reason!

It not about losing the weight only or the scale, it is addressing the issues that got us her in the first place!

Your on the right track.......keep moving girl! >

Monet

[Alana]

Alana,

You are the bomb! Do you know of how many people will not amit what you just sayed! Its all mental and people do not realize that........were big gals for some reason!

It not about losing the weight only or the scale it is addressing the issues that got us her in the first place!

Your on the right track.......keep moving girl! >

Monet

Thanks, Monet!!

[God4me]

Your Welcome Darling!

Your doing the real work....posting that we lost x amount of weight is fine, but the real issue is this.....all of us got fat and all of us needed banding. I commend you on doing the real work!

Monet

[Musiclover]

Now that we've all started or are starting on the physical aspect of becoming healthy, I'm wondering if anyone is venturing in to the mental side of it. We all got here for different reasons and training our heads is just as hard as training our bodies. I plan to meet with a licensed therapist to discuss my issues so I can confront this head on. The forum is wonderful for support, advice, comfort, encouragement etc, but I feel like I should speak to someone who is trained to deal with these types of issues.

I know I'm addicted to food. I go to food when I'm sad, happy, angry, depressed, excited - whatever the emotion is, I'm eating. I grew up around a few family members that dealt with drug abuse problems and I knew I NEVER wanted to be like them. But, I am - just with food instead of drugs. They've all gone through their own respective rehabs and I feel like this is mine.

Anyways, if anyone else has done the same, please post and let us know you're experiences and whether you think it's helping you or not.

The only time I really notice the 'mental' side of the food issue is when I am under stress. When my kids do something really over the edge (like pouring an entire costco sized bottle of hot sauce all over the white carpet in their bedroom) I notice I am instantly starving. Crazy 'going to die if I don't eat' hunger that would have previously sent me to the kitchen to find something to nosh on. Now I just listen to my head (and stomach) and say, 'nope, your not hungry, just stressed' and then I have a glass of water and try to relax. I think this will take a long time to deal with as sometimes I just automatically reach for the food instead of consciously dealing with the issue but as the addicts say ...one day at a time.

[Alana]

Hey Musiclover! At least you are recognizing the warning signs for when you eat/overeat. That's the first step! I'm obviously no psychologist, but maybe try and replace eating with a different activity when you get stressed. I know it's hard to change, but look at how far we've already come!

[jena]

Hi Alana!

Funny you should ask this question! I saw a therapist today about this. I liked her very much and I think it's going to work well.

I know from my losing weight in the past that I get to a certain point and sabotage myself, and I know that many people are not successful with the band. I wanted to give myself all the tools I need to get this weight off and keep it off. The band is one tool, exercising is another tool (I hired a trainer and took swimming lessons so I can swim laps), and a good therapist who specializes in the full spectrum of eating disorders, not just anorexia or bulimia.

I'm giving myself everything I need to overcome my weight problem. I know I won't succeed with just the band alone.

Jena

[Jann]

Hi Alana!

Funny you should ask this question! I saw a therapist today about this. I liked her very much and I think it's going to work well.

I know from my losing weight in the past that I get to a certain point and sabotage myself, and I know that many people are not successful with the band. I wanted to give myself all the tools I need to get this weight off and keep it off. The band is one tool, exercising is another tool (I hired a trainer and took swimming lessons so I can swim laps), and a good therapist who specializes in the full spectrum of eating disorders, not just anorexia or bulimia.

I'm giving myself everything I need to overcome my weight problem. I know I won't succeed with just the band alone.

Jena

That's so impressive that you are running the whole gumut on this. It's such a healthy well rounded approach! I'm definitely a self saboteur and it absolutely should have kicked in by now. I think because I resolved the key psychological issues (family) for the most part it's somehow made room for me to take this step. I'll be interested to see what next month brings. I have a strange sense of calm and centeredness that I'm revelling in right now. Let's hope it stays -- if not I'll for sure be following your path! I already gave my "old" trainer a head's up that I'm coming back but according to the Wii I have some serious upfront work to do first!

[jena]

That's so impressive that you are running the whole gumut on this. It's such a healthy well rounded approach! I'm definitely a self saboteur and it absolutely should have kicked in by now. I think because I resolved the key psychological issues (family) for the most part it's somehow made room for me to take this step. I'll be interested to see what next month brings. I have a strange sense of calm and centeredness that I'm revelling in right now. Let's hope it stays -- if not I'll for sure be following your path! I already gave my "old" trainer a head's up that I'm coming back but according to the Wii I have some serious upfront work to do first!

Thanks Jann! I envy your centeredness. It's such a good feeling.

What you said reminded me of what my sister told me the other day. She's quite overweight herself and I've been talking up the band trying to encourage her to think about it. She told me that she just isn't in the right place right now to be successful. She's dependent on the food and knows it. That's a hard place to be and even harder to admit it.

Hopefully she will resolve her issues and make room for this step.

Jena

[Jann]

Thanks Jann! I envy your centeredness. It's such a good feeling.

What you said reminded me of what my sister told me the other day. She's quite overweight herself and I've been talking up the band trying to encourage her to think about it. She told me that she just isn't in the right place right now to be successful. She's dependent on the food and knows it. That's a hard place to be and even harder to admit it.

Hopefully she will resolve her issues and make room for this step.

Jena

As someone who minute by minute is very conscious of weight and very food centric, I have to tell you it is really a good feeling. I don't know why I've reached that place but I'm definitely going with it. Even without the band I am less and less food centric probably from fear of what would happen if I deviated post-band! My sense is if I start proactively implementing what I will have to do post band, going through it when the time comes won't be so difficult. It won't be such a shock to the system.

I don't find myself reaching when in the past I would have been there in a New York minute. I'm not even missing what I don't have. (Okay, I'm really insecure about that whole drinking while eating after banding thing!) I don't feel that urgency to go to the pantry or the fridge that I did before unless it's for water. I'm still very conscious of being "the fat girl in the room" clearly but having said that I also feel a real sense of freedom that I didn't have before. Perhaps I've just accepted that this is my path, that my family "is what it is and I can't change that" and it's time to move forward. Whatever it is and for however long it lasts I'm grateful to be in this place in this moment.

There really isn't any miracle pill or machine or whatever to drop the weight and not all of us have the control mechanism to diet hence the band. In my opinion, it has to be a staged process, accept one stage and move to the next but at the end of the day you have to hit "your" bottom to propel you to make your decision. It doesn't sound like your sister is there yet. I've accepted that I won't wake up thin the day after surgery but the results, if only from the folks on this forum, speak for themselves. With work, dedication and life changes that the band helps to control this is my answer.

I devoured the internet when I initially came to the conclusion that the band was an option for me. I went to You-Tube and watched every video, I went to every forum I could find, I went to every Lap Band Surgery website, I looked at all the before and afters, I looked at at the medical studies I could find, I looked and pros and cons and options, I ordered every book on the subject that I could find, I even went to the regular sized girl's clothing stores to see my potential future and I liked what I saw! I will never wear boxy clothes again!

Perhaps baby steps with Sis, have her log in and read the forums here. When she sees the level of support, the wealth of information everyone here shares and the sense of comfort and belonging it brings, it may allay her fears or concerns and she'll catch the "band bug"!

Maybe I'm just finally learning to take care of me instead of taking care of everyone else's needs first. Whatever the reason, for me, it's time apparently.

[jena]

Bravo Jann!!! =D> You've got your head together!

"Perhaps baby steps with Sis, have her log in and read the forums here. When she sees the level of support, the wealth of information everyone here shares and the sense of comfort and belonging it brings, it may allay her fears or concerns and she'll catch the "band bug"!"

What an awesome idea! Why didn't I think of that? LOL That's exactly what I will do!

Jena

[Jann]

Bravo Jann!!! =D> You've got your head together!

"Perhaps baby steps with Sis, have her log in and read the forums here. When she sees the level of support, the wealth of information everyone here shares and the sense of comfort and belonging it brings, it may allay her fears or concerns and she'll catch the "band bug"!"

What an awesome idea! Why didn't I think of that? LOL That's exactly what I will do!

Jena

It took a long time to get there! You're talking to a girl who spent $20,000 on liposuction for a loss of two to four pounds two years ago. Talk about desperation! And was Hubby ever pissed! hehe --

I think Sis will be impressed. It could be the start of her changing the way she sees herself and food and the opportunity for change this brings! YAY!

[Alana]

yay I'm glad this started a mini discussion

[Allcdngirl]

Excellent posts all of you. I did start counselling Alana, one week before being banded, and just had my 2nd appt yesterday. A few of the things she told me was, that it takes 20 minutes to reach the peak of an addiction craving. If you can get past that, the craving will go away. You can't just sit there and let it pass, you must do something to take your mind completely off the urge. Change your activity, phone a friend, etc. Also... she said that any food that's not healthy for you, I must look at and say to myself (even outloud), look at what that food did to me. No way I'm going to do that again. That food is bad! When I walk through a grocery store, I have to look at the packaging of the "bad" food, and say.. I can't believe I used to fall for that flashy package. How dare they try to lure me that way. I'm a much better person than that now, and I'm not going to let them ruin my life again! I have to really think about the food that I have in front of me, and make the right choice. A donut or an apple. I have to think about how I am going to feel eating the apple. It's juicy, crispy, mouth watering, and good for me. The donut is good, but I'm going to feel so tired and yucky after eating it, and look at what it did to my body. No thank you.

I find she's going to be really good for me, and it was my doctor that recommended that I see someone, as I needed to find out what I was going to replace food with, and why I was using food to comfort me all the time. What was missing in my life? What void was I filling?

Hope this helps...

Anita

[Alana]

GREAT post, Anita! Those are some very good tips for battling the grocery store. I went yesterday to shop for a work potluck (that I can't even eat yet since I'm only 14 days post op!) and it was very tempting to walk by the bakery section and smell the fresh baked bread. I just had to keep walking and not stop until I got the items on my list. NO browsing allowed!