how and why to decide banding vs. continued diet

[spud]

I am wondering if people could share how and why they decide to do lap banding rather than just continue to try to lose weight through diet and exercise. I struggle to do this and would like to use it as a tool to my continued dieting. I have had success in past with hundred plus pound lost with dieting but gain it back. My husband sees me doing the lap band as a disappointment because he knows i can do it on my own and to succomb to the surgery in his eyes is a weakness....any suggestions, opinions etc...are greatly needed. I am really feeling like this could help me but he thinks it will just be more money down the drain as many other diet efforts have been. thanks

[slm]

FIRST OF ALL NO ONE CAN MAKE A DECISION FOR YOU & SHAME ON YOUR HUSBAND FOR NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE NO MATTER HOW MANY DIETS YOU TRIED IN THE PAST . IN THE PAST LOSING ON YOUR OWN IS A GREAT EFFORT BUT WITH LIFES UPS& DOWNS DEITING IS A VERY DIFFICULT TASK.IF YOU NEED SUPPORT OR AS PEOPLE HAVE CALLED GETTING BANDED A TOOL YOU MOVE FORWARD IN YOUR QUEST FOR A BETTER YOU. TELL YOU HUSBAND EXCEPT THIS IS FOR YOU & HE MARRIED YOU FOR

BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT HIS (WORSE ) ADDITUDE . BEST WISHES IN YOUR DECISION .

SLM

[hopeful1]

I too really struggled with this life altering decision. I knew I would be abandoning one of my best friends, food. Heck, it's always there for me whenever I "need" it............. what a great friend it is. But then I realized it was not a friend, it is my master and I am it's slave. It does not care that I can barely fit into a movie seat, an amusement park ride, an airplane. It does not care that it makes me short of breath going up stairs. It does not care that I want to sleep and not dance. It does not care that I want to hide and not live. It does not care that the way the extra weight makes me feel makes me hide from love and loving realationships.

I can lose weight, every person on earth can. But keeping it off, well, we all know that story. This is a tool to help me soar. This is a tool to get that monkey off my back. This tool will let me dance, and live, and love. It does not fix the problem, that ultimately is up to you. This procedure will help me to maintain portion control. It will help me to make healthier decisions. And the life and the QUALITY of my life will expand beyond my imagination.

I don't want to die, and I know undergoing surgery is a risk. But I don't want to just half live anymore. Also being a nurse I know that I am killing myself slowly by not making this huge step. Ahead of me lies diabetes, strokes, heart attacks, vessels filling up with plaque, respiratory problems, hip and knee replacements, sleeping problems, and oh the list goes on.

So it's my turn, in just four days! I can already see me on the other side! My confidence, my energy, my LIFE!

You can only make this decision for you. The decision to really REALLY live. Don't keep those shackles on and don't let anyone keep you prisoner. Best of Luck!

Heather

[PatU]

Your message really struck a chord with me. I also have lost a good deal of weight -- three different times -- and gained it all back. After trying it on my own "one more time" and not losing a bit of weight in 7 months, I decided to have the procedure last week. I am scheduled for August 21st with Dr. Ortiz.

I also have thyroid disease and have been struggling with this for years. I did phen/fen, Xenical, medically supervised diets . . . you name it. I think if you are overweight, you try anything. The fact that you can't keep it off may be due to some undiagnosed condition. Nonetheless, it does make it hard when your spouse doesn't support you. I had the same concern so I wrote him an email so I wouldn't be interrupted or emotional.

What I wrote to my husband:

You like numbers . . . check these babies out:

Doug: 210 (17 year old son - 6'1")

Pat: 215 (42 year old - 5'3")

Jon: 220 (17 year old son - 6')

I should not be in the middle. I should be around 130. But, as you

well know, I have not seen that since before the boys were born. I have

been fighting this weight issue for over 15 years. I am tired. I have

tried everything that I can think of to lose this weight and keep it

off. Over the last six months, I have lost and regained the same two

pounds a hundred times. How can you possibly understand the frustration

I feel every time I step on the scale? You can't.

This lap band is only a tool. I will still have to diet forever but at

least I might have a chance to keep it off. I don't do this lightly and

have been thinking about it over a year. It might seem like a drastic

measure to you but it's a last resort to me. I don't like the way I

look. I am starting to feel older than my years. I especially don't

like it when the boys call me fat since I know that's how they see me.

I get really emotional when I talk about this because it is so fucking

unfair. I hope you understand why I feel I need to do this and can

support me. If you can't, I understand. I have to do this for my

health.

I don't really know what else to say. Gentics dealt me a shitty hand

and now I have to take a gamble. Are you in or out?

Pat

Steve's response:

I do think I can somewhat understand what you feel and why you want to

have this procedure. I am not hesitant about the money, your health is

much more important. My concern is that you have a good qualified

surgeon and the proper facilities for doing this safely. I trust you

have done your research on fully this. I can understand that you don't

want to tell anyone about this plan and possibly receive a negative

reaction. However, should anything go wrong (always a possibility) I

don't think you should be alone, so I will try my best to accompany you

on this trip. We can talk more about specifics when I get home, but

you've made up your mind and so you do have my support on this. I love

you. See you when I get home.

Footnote: This is probably the most romantic thing my husband has written me. We've been married almost 20 years but he is not the romantic type. Feel free to use what you can (sorry about the expletives but that's how we communicate).

Good Luck

Pat in Arkansas

[Guest marys]

I have seriously spent my entire life since age 11 on diets - every day iwas stressful - what diet, how should i be eating was the center of my day and life. i yo yo'd every year, every month, every week, and i would measure it around xmas time going home to visit my family - was i skinny last year, how much fatter am i this year, etc. my weight would fluctuate about 40-60pounds per year with some years just going up and uup until i hit 245 my hightest to a fanatical gym phase whee i exercised eery day for 4 hours or so was a personal trainer, did triathlons and races and was buff, toned 125lbs. the only time in my life i proudly wore a swimsuit and was lifeguard at a pool. that lasted about 3 years slowly going up in weight. i moved and put on weight to 183 and said enough - i can't go through the rest of my life like this. i chose the band to end the struggle - has it ended - no, i'm not there yet but it's getting a little better. i don't 'diet' anymore and i'm confident i will have success with the band. it is already changing me. i don't binge eat or totally pig out tho i do make some bad choices still sometimes eat too fasst etc but i'm stopping before full which used to me stuffed to me and in pain. i can eat with others and not be 150% focused on the food and i can finish before others and not be devastated cuz ican't eat more. i also realize 8months banded i would never ever ever have achieved permenant weight loss without it - i see all my bad habits now and they were totally engrained for life - they are still hard to break but i'm not clueless as to why i was fat. now i know.

[LoriBecky]

Hi,

Whether or not to try the band is a very personal choice. I've been battling this for years, manage to lose part of the weight I need to, then start moving up the scale again. I need help not only to get to my goal weight but to maintain it. I know the band is just a tool and the work is up to me. I finally feel like I have a real chance

[dakota]

Your message really struck a chord with me. I also have lost a good deal of weight -- three different times -- and gained it all back. After trying it on my own "one more time" and not losing a bit of weight in 7 months, I decided to have the procedure last week. I am scheduled for August 21st with Dr. Ortiz.

I also have thyroid disease and have been struggling with this for years. I did phen/fen, Xenical, medically supervised diets . . . you name it. I think if you are overweight, you try anything. The fact that you can't keep it off may be due to some undiagnosed condition. Nonetheless, it does make it hard when your spouse doesn't support you. I had the same concern so I wrote him an email so I wouldn't be interrupted or emotional.

What I wrote to my husband:

You like numbers . . . check these babies out:

Doug: 210 (17 year old son - 6'1")

Pat: 215 (42 year old - 5'3")

Jon: 220 (17 year old son - 6')

I should not be in the middle. I should be around 130. But, as you

well know, I have not seen that since before the boys were born. I have

been fighting this weight issue for over 15 years. I am tired. I have

tried everything that I can think of to lose this weight and keep it

off. Over the last six months, I have lost and regained the same two

pounds a hundred times. How can you possibly understand the frustration

I feel every time I step on the scale? You can't.

This lap band is only a tool. I will still have to diet forever but at

least I might have a chance to keep it off. I don't do this lightly and

have been thinking about it over a year. It might seem like a drastic

measure to you but it's a last resort to me. I don't like the way I

look. I am starting to feel older than my years. I especially don't

like it when the boys call me fat since I know that's how they see me.

I get really emotional when I talk about this because it is so fucking

unfair. I hope you understand why I feel I need to do this and can

support me. If you can't, I understand. I have to do this for my

health.

I don't really know what else to say. Gentics dealt me a shitty hand

and now I have to take a gamble. Are you in or out?

Pat

Steve's response:

I do think I can somewhat understand what you feel and why you want to

have this procedure. I am not hesitant about the money, your health is

much more important. My concern is that you have a good qualified

surgeon and the proper facilities for doing this safely. I trust you

have done your research on fully this. I can understand that you don't

want to tell anyone about this plan and possibly receive a negative

reaction. However, should anything go wrong (always a possibility) I

don't think you should be alone, so I will try my best to accompany you

on this trip. We can talk more about specifics when I get home, but

you've made up your mind and so you do have my support on this. I love

you. See you when I get home.

Footnote: This is probably the most romantic thing my husband has written me. We've been married almost 20 years but he is not the romantic type. Feel free to use what you can (sorry about the expletives but that's how we communicate).

Good Luck

Pat in Arkansas