Eating WAAAYYYY too much!!

[fat2nrml]

I've been banded since 3-25 and can't stop the over-eating habit, addiction or whatever term it is.... I had hoped once I was banded that it would MAKE me eat less therefore I'd lose weight. Not working that way!! I suck so!! My addiction to food is so strong that it makes me wonder [and worry] if I'll ever get past it. Why do I feel that I have to eat EVERYTHING I see and have huge portions? What's wrong with my brain that I think this way? Why do I have to have 2 sandwhiches instead of 1? Why do I have to pile my plate with big portions of everything that I make for a meal and force it all down? I truely don't even enjoy my food cause I'm too worried about how much more I can cram in my face! WHY??!! Maybe if I understood I could deal with it, but I truely don't know why. I don't regret a moment of being banded but am wondering if I've wasted my time and more importantly, money that I could've used for my family. Anyone want to crawl around in my head for a few minutes.... watch out for the tumbleweeds!!

Sorry to be such a bummer. I wish I could figure this out. Thanks for reading my little tantrum. :lb12:

[mistyband]

I'm sorry your having such a difficult time....but remember you are NOT alone....We all suffer from the addiction of Food or we wouldn't need the band...Everyday when I get up it is going through my head, what can I eat today for lunch, then after lunch, what can I eat for supper....It's a never ending cycle...I just try to follow my guide lines set by my doctor as for as my band goes....When I eat what I call real food(my favorites) I make sure to eat on a saucer, or if it is fast food, Like McDonalds for instance is my favorite cheeseburgers, so I will order me a cheeseburger and take the bread off and eat the rest...Its little things like that, that make a big difference....Don't be so hard on yourself...to us eating is a habit and an addiction, then on top of that we have to have it to survive....so just take it one day at a time.... have you tried talking to a dietician? I'm trying to find one near me, just so I can get some tips on healthier eating! The band is our Tool to a better us and a better life for us and our family...Just when you feel like overeating think of what you have sacraficed for the band and that will also help get your mind on track....Cheer up!! It's going to get better.....I hope this is a little comfort for you! Your Banded Friend, Misty >

[LoraLW]

Evette, I completely agree. I actually was feeling the same way as iwantbanded and was really getting down on myself. I pulled out Dr. O's book and began reading the areas that I needed help with first and WOW!! I really started to realize that things are changing and everday I tweak it just a little more. This is the GREAT info I really enjoy getting on this forum. Thanks Evette. iwantbanded please hang in there I feel what you do right now and am working on the issues even as I write this. Much love and support to ya babe. Lora

[Kris_TX]

The other posters are right...this is mostly mental. The band is a great tool, but wrapping your head around what's really going on and getting a handle on it, is what's going to help you succeed. Have you tried talking to someone (professionally) about why it is that you are turning to food? We all have our own reasons, and I think once we can figure that out and learn to love ourselves (which can be the hardest thing to do)...we can finally let our band help in our weight loss journey.

Don't beat yourself up...we are all in the same boat. If I can offer some advice, it would be to talk to someone. Work out what's going on inside and when you get up in the morning, say out loud "I LIKE ME! I LOVE ME! I FEEL HAPPY, I FEEL HEALTHY, I FEEL SKINNY, AND I FEEL LOVED". It may seem silly, but it really works for me. Once I decided that I was worth something...I decided that I'm worth a lot...then, I let my band work for me.

You are worth a lot. Tell yourself that, believe it, and get busy living!

[fat2nrml]

Thanks ladies for your kind words..... that's why I love this forum! I did read Dr. O's book last year but will pull it out and read it again [maybe it'll give me the kick in the rear that I need!] As I sit here typing this, my stomach hurts because at about 8:30 this morning [about 3 and a half hrs. ago] I ate 4, yes 4 pieces of jelly toast for breakfast!! I made 2, woofed them down in about 30 seconds and made and ate 2 more!! I've been sipping on ice water for the last hr or so. I'm not hungry, as a matter of fact, I'm in quite a bit of discomfort but I know shortly that I'll be out in the kitchen hunting for something to eat for lunch. I will get out Dr. O's book and read and hopefully I'll find the answer for me. Thanks SO much!! Darlene

[jena]

I understand as well. That's why I'm still eating Lean Cuisine's and gradually adding back food I cook.

Have you read any books by Geneen Roth? She is fantastic. Her book Feeding the Hungry Heart: The Experience of Compulsive Eating is really good, as well as "When Food is Love". I suggest you start out with "Breaking Free From Compulsive Eating" first though.

My best advice though, is when eating a sandwich, make yourself one but make sure to tell yourself if after the one sandwich you'll wait 20 minutes an if you still want another you'll have it. If 20 minutes pass and you still want it, then eat it! I bet you won't want it though.

Be proud of yourself for coming here and writing about it! Keeping compulsive eating a secret is part of the lure.

Don't be so down on yourself!!! > >

Jena

[mona-camille]

Iwantbanded, I feel the same way!! And I am so disappointed that my first fill didn't do a thing. I was so hoping that would have helped. Whoever said that the band is only 30% while the mental is 70% - I wish I would have know that sooner or I would not have wasted my money. I was counting on that band to make me feel full faster, thereby eating less. Plain and simple as that and that is what I expected.

I eat a lot because I never get full. A tight band would have stopped that. Thats what I was wanting. I have made my second fill appointment and it is going to be the last one I can afford for a while so I am hoping it will work this time.

So, I can definitely feel your pain. I am also feeling very unhappy with this band right now. But, still, I feel hopeful that the second fill will work. I will be crushed if it doesn't.

I did read Dr. Ortiz's book, but that doesn't help me get my band tighter.

WOW, am I ever sarcastic today! Sorry about that, I'm having a bad week.

You got another fill planned yet?

[mona-camille]

Mona,

I am the one that said the Band is 70% mental and 30% band.

Although someone has a tight fill, there are stills ways to eat AROUND the band. Either by eating what is not healthy, eating too much, too fast, and can even slime or PB constantly, yet still repeat the same behaviors due to a food addiction. You have to stop the behavior, take the time to follow the guidelines in order for your band to work, and then you receive the results you desire. Mind: better food choices Matter: restriction

I was recommending to Darlene to try to stop the behavior first, follow the guidelines in Dr. O's book, once that is done the band WILL work in making her feel full after one sandwich, which will naturally stop her from wandering to the kitchen. You have to follow the guidelines BEFORE the fill is in place. To me, that is the hardest part, bandster hell.

If you don't exercise, and you don't follow the guidelines, and you just sit there waiting for the band to restrict you from chowing down, I don't think you will get the results you want. You have to work with it, you have to make effort. Self discipline is key for the band.

It really is mind over matter.

Well, I don't intend to eat around the band, I just want to feel full for the first time in 20 years!! Thats what I want!! I have been exercising, using small plates and eating less (even though I don't want too) so that is a start. But, still, I just want to feel full!!! I really wasn't sitting here waiting for the band to work without assisting it, really I wasn't - not quite that lazy. But, I just hoped that it would make me feel full fast so I stop overeating.

Off subject - I have yet to slime or PB. I almost WANT to feel that so I am forced to stop. Maybe at my next fill it will happen.

I think if I didn't have to spend so much money flying from the east coast out there, it wouldn't make me so frustrated. But, money is an issue so that just makes me feel even more aggravated.

I AM a whiner you know! It's what I do best.

[C1BandedBabe]

Mona,

I am the one that said the Band is 70% mental and 30% band.

Although someone has a tight fill, there are stills ways to eat AROUND the band. Either by eating what is not healthy, eating too much, too fast, and can even slime or PB constantly, yet still repeat the same behaviors due to a food addiction. You have to stop the behavior, take the time to follow the guidelines in order for your band to work, and then you receive the results you desire. Mind: better food choices Matter: restriction

I was recommending to Darlene to try to stop the behavior first, follow the guidelines in Dr. O's book, once that is done the band WILL work in making her feel full after one sandwich, which will naturally stop her from wandering to the kitchen. You have to follow the guidelines BEFORE the fill is in place. To me, that is the hardest part, bandster hell.

If you don't exercise, and you don't follow the guidelines, and you just sit there waiting for the band to restrict you from chowing down, I don't think you will get the results you want. You have to work with it, you have to make effort. Self discipline is key for the band.

It really is mind over matter.

Evette, you give the best advice! I love reading your post and your responses..... Thank you!

[Kittycat]

I am sorry things are tough for you right now.

A couple of ladies have suggested counselling to help with the addiction to food, I think this is a great idea!

I am going to look into this as well to help me once I am banded.

Best of luck!

Cathy

[C1BandedBabe]

Lilly,

Thank you, I do try to help since the best (MamaMichelle) isn't here. But I am a blunt person (as Mona is sarcastic ) and I can be taken the wrong way at times, especially when you're typing what you're thinking, there's no way to see expressions or gestures, so you can only take it as you see it. My sister hates that about me when she talks over email. She always asks my advice on things, because I am blunt, and I see outside the bubble. But she does get offended from time to time, so I do have to watch myself.

If any of you see me being too blunt, please tell me!! Because it is not my intentions I promise!!

XOXO!

Ohh believe me I know, things are sometimes taking out of content when written and not spoken. But also some people have to understand that the truth hurts sometimes. But bottom-line it’s the truth right, and we don’t want to hear the truth all the time. Just my opinion though

[Kittycat]

Mona,

I am the one that said the Band is 70% mental and 30% band.

Although someone has a tight fill, there are stills ways to eat AROUND the band. Either by eating what is not healthy, eating too much, too fast, and can even slime or PB constantly, yet still repeat the same behaviors due to a food addiction. You have to stop the behavior, take the time to follow the guidelines in order for your band to work, and then you receive the results you desire. Mind: better food choices Matter: restriction

I was recommending to Darlene to try to stop the behavior first, follow the guidelines in Dr. O's book, once that is done the band WILL work in making her feel full after one sandwich, which will naturally stop her from wandering to the kitchen. You have to follow the guidelines BEFORE the fill is in place. To me, that is the hardest part, bandster hell.

If you don't exercise, and you don't follow the guidelines, and you just sit there waiting for the band to restrict you from chowing down, I don't think you will get the results you want. You have to work with it, you have to make effort. Self discipline is key for the band.

It really is mind over matter.

Absolutely, totally and without a doubt agree!!!

Determination to meet your goals is key!

Cathy

[Kittycat]

Lilly,

Thank you, I do try to help since the best (MamaMichelle) isn't here. But I am a blunt person (as Mona is sarcastic ) and I can be taken the wrong way at times, especially when you're typing what you're thinking, there's no way to see expressions or gestures, so you can only take it as you see it. My sister hates that about me when she talks over email. She always asks my advice on things, because I am blunt, and I see outside the bubble. But she does get offended from time to time, so I do have to watch myself.

If any of you see me being too blunt, please tell me!! Because it is not my intentions I promise!!

XOXO!

I like your thinking, you are bang on!!

I guess I won't be risking Arby's anytime soon either!! Wow!

I am investing alot of money as well, 15K, no insurance coverage for this in Canada...and I am determine to make this work, no matter what it takes. I am willing to diet, if that's what it takes, no one ever said this was easy, losing weight is never easy. The only quick fix is liposuction!

I am being banded on Tuesday and I realize it's not going to be easy adjusting to the post-op diet, but it's not forever and I will be able to eat real food again, but healthy foods that will work with the band and give me the results I want.

Thanks for being blunt!!

Cathy

[Kittycat]

Oh crap, I am sarcastic AND blunt AND a bit^^ !! I am soooo in trouble here!

Mona,

You are not a happy camper, we all understand that and will probably be there someday too!

We are new at this and determined like hell to make it work...who knows how things will go down the road...it's unpredictable right?

You thought you would be on your way, have restriction and losing weight like crazy by now...but it's not happening that way and you are frustrated. We get that...so if you need to vent or be sarcastic or blunt, do it! We will all still be here.

All the best, Cathy

[Allcdngirl]

I am seeing a counsellor. I am/was an emotional eater, and now that I've had the band, I need to find out why I used to feel the need to eat. My counsellor is saying that I was 'rewarding' myself with food, and we need to find out why. Why was it always food. I was filling a void with food, but what was that void? I was missing something in my life, but what? She also told me that it takes 20 minutes to get over an urge. So... the next time you want to eat, just because, find something else to do.. phone a friend. By the time the 20 min. passes, the urge should have passed as well. I would strongly recommend seeing a counsellor. I also have been searching on the internet, and have found a good site.. www.shrinkyourself.com This has alot of useful information on it. Please check it out. And do remember Mona and Iwantbanded we are all here for the same reason. So anytime you want to vent.. please do.. no hard feelings.. just listening, understanding, and hugs. Your band will help you.. it's just going to take a bit of time. And thanks for the recommendations on the books. I am going to go and read them myself!

[fat2nrml]

Thanks again all! I'm going to look into the books by Roth, they maybe helpful. I did re-read over Dr. O's book and nothing really jumped out at me for my situation. Let me ask you all a question..... Do you think that we HAVE to have some deep dark reason for our overeating? I feel [i'm not sure] but I feel I overeat because I totally enjoy food. I love the taste, texture,.... just flat out love food and love to eat. Does it have to be because of some mental problem or childhood [or adult] trauma? And believe me, I can understand why those things could and have pushed people to food, [i don't want anyone to think I'm being a smarta$$, I wouldn't do that] I remember Oprah saying that you have to find the reason you overeat and deal with that first.... in my opinion, she ain't dealin' too well!!! I LOVE FOOD AND LOVE TO OVEREAT.... now, how do I deal with that?

P.S. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

[Kittycat]

Overeating can be for various reasons, I love food too and associate it with socializing with friends and family. But I have been overweight since I was a teen and believe that I use food for comfort. My childhood was difficult and I turned to food to comfort me. I still do, when I get upset, stressed or angry, I want to eat. I am going to look into counselling as well, it certainly cannot hurt.

Not everyone has an issue for overeating, it's a learned behaviour...if you had big famly gatherings as a child with food, or socialize alot with friends or family with food...you learn to associate these events with food. Not to say that you cannot continue to socialize with family and friends, but you need to change your food choices to benefit your goal!

Good luck, Cathy

[nothereanymore]

I also think it has to do with all of the advertising and marketing we see everyday. How often do we see thin beautiful people eating and drinking a ton of high fattening food, looking gorgeous? You see that often enough, you want to go out to eat and then the portions are huge, it’s almost like we are being trained to be obese. And I’m not saying we don’t own our own obesity, we do, but generally from an early age we are being taught that food is fun, a reward, comfort and we can eat all we want. There’s a reason why so many people in the US are obese and why the change has really occurred within the last 30 years. I’m thrilled to have found a tool that works for me, (I pray that it continues to work and I continue to work at it) I really hope that we can cure this disease, and I truly believe it is one before it really takes over our children’s lives.

[fat2nrml]

I am seeing a counsellor. I am/was an emotional eater, and now that I've had the band, I need to find out why I used to feel the need to eat. My counsellor is saying that I was 'rewarding' myself with food, and we need to find out why. Why was it always food. I was filling a void with food, but what was that void? I was missing something in my life, but what? She also told me that it takes 20 minutes to get over an urge. So... the next time you want to eat, just because, find something else to do.. phone a friend. By the time the 20 min. passes, the urge should have passed as well. I would strongly recommend seeing a counsellor. I also have been searching on the internet, and have found a good site.. www.shrinkyourself.com This has alot of useful information on it. Please check it out. And do remember Mona and Iwantbanded we are all here for the same reason. So anytime you want to vent.. please do.. no hard feelings.. just listening, understanding, and hugs. Your band will help you.. it's just going to take a bit of time. And thanks for the recommendations on the books. I am going to go and read them myself!

[/quote

If you find out what the void is, or what's missing, please let me know..... I might have the same problem and don't even know it! :yes: I was in counceling a few years back and nothing really came of it. I got some issues straightened out, but not food issues.

[Allcdngirl]

I will definitely let you know, and I will keep you informed of any information that I think you would benefit from.

[mona-camille]

Thanks again all! I'm going to look into the books by Roth, they maybe helpful. I did re-read over Dr. O's book and nothing really jumped out at me for my situation. Let me ask you all a question..... Do you think that we HAVE to have some deep dark reason for our overeating? I feel [i'm not sure] but I feel I overeat because I totally enjoy food. I love the taste, texture,.... just flat out love food and love to eat. Does it have to be because of some mental problem or childhood [or adult] trauma? And believe me, I can understand why those things could and have pushed people to food, [i don't want anyone to think I'm being a smarta$$, I wouldn't do that] I remember Oprah saying that you have to find the reason you overeat and deal with that first.... in my opinion, she ain't dealin' too well!!! I LOVE FOOD AND LOVE TO OVEREAT.... now, how do I deal with that?

P.S. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

So glad to see this post!!! I thought I was the only one. Society has everyone believe that they HAVE to have some underlying emotional problem with overeating, and I know I don't! My problem is simple. I like food. I don't ever feel full enough to stop liking food. Thats it in a nutshell for me. Glad to see someone else in my shoes!!

[fat2nrml]

So glad to see this post!!! I thought I was the only one. Society has everyone believe that they HAVE to have some underlying emotional problem with overeating, and I know I don't! My problem is simple. I like food. I don't ever feel full enough to stop liking food. Thats it in a nutshell for me. Glad to see someone else in my shoes!!

Right there with you Mona! I didn't have the best childhood and all that but I really don't think that's why I love food. I can think about the taste of a certain food, and I can be full or just not hungry and still eat that food! I can honestly say that there isn't much food [that I've tried] that I DON'T like. I do eat when I'm bored and all, but I eat to eat, simple as that. I want the taste of food and lots of it. Now, what do I do from here? How could a therapist help me? How could he or she help me stop compulsive over eating? [And again, I want to say that I'm not being a smarta$$, I'm truley looking for answers.] I think I'll donate my brain [or the lack there of] to science after my death for study to see if I [or over weight people in general] have some kind of glitch that "normal" people don't have.

P.S. I ordered that book by Roth, "Breaking free from compulsive eating" from Amazon.com

[sufina]

Hi Sufina here from Portland; banded June 5.

Today, I spent lots of time imagining all my favorite foods; things I've learned about myself is that I have developed a love affair with food; once I was addicted to drugs and alcohol, ciggarettes, work and dysfunctional relationships; I've recovered from those addictions; this one has the last big hold on me. According to "The Craving Brain" and others, certain chemical reactions provide a great "feel good" fix from certain foods; ie carbs, fat, sugar, flour etc. Like cocaine, it's never enuff. I remember the feeling of eating cotton candy and never being able to shove enuff in at one time. I daydreamed of certain foods today that allow me to have a feeling of "owning" it, taking it into my body, transforming it into something else, enjoying the wonderful contented feeling it provided; I don't have to think, feel, be creative or do anything about my life. Food just settles in for me and I'm in a sort of trance - for a while, until I start the whole thing again, planning what I'm going to get, what combo of things I'll have, which desserts to top it off with and so on and so on. Sound familiar? This is not the part that has to do with purchasing a surgery called Lapbands! This is frigging food addiction- regardless of childhoods. But, most of the time, there have been lots of "cutoffs" from ourselves. Today, I realized Lonliness and Fear were 2 big ones for me that food has helped insulate me from. I don't know that anyone has THE answer for all of us but I do feel many of us are in this together and certainly can relate to how hard it is for us. I know I need to read the literature, talk to the counselor and journal and post/read messages and have hope and pray. That's what I know today, fondly, Sufina