Just need some support

[Ashley_june]

I am a 22 year old female. I currently weigh around 250 lbs and have a BMI of 45.7. I have been significantly overweight since I was about 10 years old. I have tried everything including diet excersize and even not eating all together. Nothing so far has helped long term, I can loose a few lbs but gain it back within a month or so plus some. This is my heviest weight and i am a bit discouraged. I heard about this procedure from a family member and have read all I can find about it. I am scheduled to go to a free seminar in september, but wanted to talk to some people who have gone through it that might be able to give me some insight before I make the plunge. I'm pretty sure this is the direction i want to go but just need some support along the way!!

Thanks

Ashley

[Guest marys]

Ashley,

I wish I had done this when I was in my 20's - I too was overweight since teen years and have struggled my whole life - i think some of us are wired differently and live to eat rather than eat to live!

Only you can decide if this is right for you but you do need to know that you will still have to make effort ( alot of effort) to succeed with the band. You can't have the surgery and wake up and eat as you are doing now. You won't have to try every fad diet under the sun but you will have to eat in moderation and eat high protein quality foods with a few goodies and i mean a few in between.

You will have to give up all carbonated beverages and you will have to exercise regularly to see results.

The band will help you stop when satisfied (although you are the one who as to put the fork down), the band will stop you from pigging out and eating an entire pizza (for example) or you will get quite sick but the band will not make you do anything as there are many ways to 'cheat' the band even in the above situations I have mentioned.

Soooo just go into this with your eyes wide open, research, study, get a wide variety of opionions from those who are just banded, thinking about being banded, at goal weight, and even those who wish they had never gotten the lapband. Then make your decision with eyes wide open. If you haven't already done so, order and read every page of Dr Ortiz's book -it is very informative, non biased and covers all phases of lapbanding. Good Luck, mary

I am a 22 year old female. I currently weigh around 250 lbs and have a BMI of 45.7. I have been significantly overweight since I was about 10 years old. I have tried everything including diet excersize and even not eating all together. Nothing so far has helped long term, I can loose a few lbs but gain it back within a month or so plus some. This is my heviest weight and i am a bit discouraged. I heard about this procedure from a family member and have read all I can find about it. I am scheduled to go to a free seminar in september, but wanted to talk to some people who have gone through it that might be able to give me some insight before I make the plunge. I'm pretty sure this is the direction i want to go but just need some support along the way!!

Thanks

Ashley

[Ashley_june]

Mary,

I really appreciate the advice. I can use all the help I can get. I have talked to family friends about the lap band and they are all a bit skeptical... especially my mom, who is a very thin woman. I guess my one problem is explaining to them that this is something I feel that I need to do not just to better myself but also to help get healthy... I have neices and nephews who I love more than anything and it breaks my heart that I can't go run and play with them.. that all I have energy to do is play for a minute then watch from the sidelines. Its not the lifestyle change I am worried about. Yes I do understand the "eating your feelings" part and I know that will a little hlep I can overcome that. I read on another post that a lot of people use this as an induced bulimia, and thats not what I want but i think thats how my mother feels.

How do you approach your family and friends and try and get their support? I have been on numerous depression meds and been in hospitals for it... I just want to be healthy and happy again, and I feel that if I loose the wait and gain a little support from them I will be able to do this!!

Ashley,

I wish I had done this when I was in my 20's - I too was overweight since teen years and have struggled my whole life - i think some of us are wired differently and live to eat rather than eat to live!

Only you can decide if this is right for you but you do need to know that you will still have to make effort ( alot of effort) to succeed with the band. You can't have the surgery and wake up and eat as you are doing now. You won't have to try every fad diet under the sun but you will have to eat in moderation and eat high protein quality foods with a few goodies and i mean a few in between.

You will have to give up all carbonated beverages and you will have to exercise regularly to see results.

The band will help you stop when satisfied (although you are the one who as to put the fork down), the band will stop you from pigging out and eating an entire pizza (for example) or you will get quite sick but the band will not make you do anything as there are many ways to 'cheat' the band even in the above situations I have mentioned.

Soooo just go into this with your eyes wide open, research, study, get a wide variety of opionions from those who are just banded, thinking about being banded, at goal weight, and even those who wish they had never gotten the lapband. Then make your decision with eyes wide open. If you haven't already done so, order and read every page of Dr Ortiz's book -it is very informative, non biased and covers all phases of lapbanding. Good Luck, mary

[Guest marys]

Well the support question is a tough one as again you are younger than I am and I've been living on my own for 20+ years and live with my boyfriend of 12 years. I only told my boyfiend and since the surgery one close friend. My mom is also very thin and while I think she would be supportive, she would be watching me every second and commenting on my slow progress. My bbrother had gastric bypass many years ago and lost from 450lbs to 196 and we have lots of obesity in our family too. I think it's important that you have the support of as many people as possible but you don't have to tell everyone as you are young, but you are a 'legal' adult. I would try to get the support of one or two family members or close friends by sharing your struggles and information about the procedure etc. Some people will never be supportive and you should cross them off your list - even if that is a parent. If you are paying for this and living with this, you only need people that will support you in this. On the other hand, you may be able to bring your mom around - only you can judge this - but give her books and articles to read, ask her to come to the seminar you mentioned, and maybe she will be able to support you.

I think relying so much on my boyfriend was harder for him than me - he was and is wonderful but if you have the surgery outside the U.S. most of your aftercare/support is on your own. I've since made many bandster friends that I write daily or see occassionally and that is a godsend. You will meet many people on your journey - i even write and am close to the the 4 gals i had surgery with on the same day - life is strange and you will find the support you need - it just may not be where you are looking now.

In the end, this is your choice, it is your life and ultimately your decision. Mary

[Rid]

In 36 hours, I will be banded. This is not induced bulemia. It is you taking control of your life. I highly recommend seeing a counselor or therapist to help you deal with this. They do not have issues and can give you objective advice and help you work through your feelings. No one would question what you are doing if you joined Weight Watchers or even took some diet pills. This is a much harder decision to make, and you should be considered brave for even thinking about it.

As far as "getting" support, you may never get it. I care a lot about what my parents think. I'm in my mid-30s with a wife and a kid, but I still care. You want their approval, and you want them to tell you it's okay. But they are not dealing with the same things you are. My father does not really want me to have this surgery, but I believe that is because he doesn't want me to change, and feels threatened that if I have surgery, he might need to do it as well. If it works for me, maybe he should do it. He doesn't like that. I'm not suggesting your family has the same issues, but everyone has issues of their own, and they project them on you.

I would read EVERY post in this forum. Every one. Then I'd go over to lapbandtalk.com and read a lot of the posts there, including the complications section. Do this last part after you've read a lot of the other things. Read all the newly banded threads on this forum. You'll get a good feel for what people go through, what they struggle with, and what they accomplish. This is a great tool with some significant risks. I personally can't wait to get it done.

Feel free to send me a personal message if you'd like more info. Good luck!

Rid

[Friend]

Ashley, I like you have little support but in time they will notice your weight loss and you will starting hearing compliments of how good you look and boy that is an insentive to our mood swings. This is normal since our metabolism is changing. You continue to share your experience and we all bandsters will support each other. When ever you are depressed or frustrated you can e-mail me and I would do my best to talk to you. My surgery was done 3/28/06 and had a low BMI. Two fills and 20lbs down but from size 10 to 3-4. Slow process but a happy camper now even though I have my mode swings also. Chin up Ashley Sylvia

[LoriBecky]

Hi Ashley,

Have your mom look around the site, or have her call me. I've talked to other people's mom's to put them at ease. I think it helps them to hear from someone who's been banded! You can also show them the website. If they still have any doubts, let's set up a phone consult with Dr. Ortiz and you and your mom. He is wonderful and can explain everything!

[Ashley_june]

I can't thank you guys enough!!! I have printed a lot of information that I gave to my mom to read.. she had read it over and agrees that it isn't as bad as she thought, we actually ended up having a great discussion about it and her main concern is that its not going to work and that I am getting my hopes up. That is when I told her that this is not my "MIRACLE" cure.... I understand how much hard work it is going to be to get the weight off and maintane it.. I explained that I know this is just a tool to help me along the way.. I really think i got through to her and she understands how important this is to me... Making a call to the insurance company today to see how much if any of it is covered..... Everyone please cross your fingers for me as Im not sure I will be able to do this if my insurance won't cover it. Im trying to stay posotive and keep my head up but this is pretty hard... Im really nervous but hopefully that will pass

I'll let you know how things go with the insurance company!!!

Ashley

[Guest marys]

Ashley,

You seem like a pretty determined young woman so i don't doubt if the insurance falls through you will think of something! most of us did. I was fortunate to be able to take a home equity loan at a good interest rate and think of it like a new car loan - in 4 years i will have paid it off and if i canget my weight off and keep if off for 3 years that is my true goal. so, don't worry about it until and if it happens.

Also congrats on getting your mom to listen to you. She obviouslly loves you very much and wants what is best for you. They usually know what they are talking about and even if stubburn bring up good points to consider - i hope she will continue to be your support on this journey. Good luck

I can't thank you guys enough!!! I have printed a lot of information that I gave to my mom to read.. she had read it over and agrees that it isn't as bad as she thought, we actually ended up having a great discussion about it and her main concern is that its not going to work and that I am getting my hopes up. That is when I told her that this is not my "MIRACLE" cure.... I understand how much hard work it is going to be to get the weight off and maintane it.. I explained that I know this is just a tool to help me along the way.. I really think i got through to her and she understands how important this is to me... Making a call to the insurance company today to see how much if any of it is covered..... Everyone please cross your fingers for me as Im not sure I will be able to do this if my insurance won't cover it. Im trying to stay posotive and keep my head up but this is pretty hard... Im really nervous but hopefully that will pass

I'll let you know how things go with the insurance company!!!

Ashley

[Ashley_june]

So I called the insurance company last night.... Turns out they won't cover it..... I had a long discussion with the girl on the phone and she told me that they don't even cover it if you have medical or psychological necesity... So now I have opened up a savings account that is my "LAP BAND" savings. I put 500 down and and enrolled in them to take 200 from every check. Well like I said before this isn't my miracle cure all and it is going to take work... just like paying for the surgery.. so I look at this as just another part of my journey to be healthy.... I figure that I should have enough (god willing) in 3 years to actuallygo through with the surgery. As for now I am trying to better myself in other ways...... I have recently joined a gym and have began drinking nothing but water or the high protien shakes and eating much smaller portions... kinda trying to get my mind to get used to it and see if I can't at least maintain wheight instead of gaining more. If anyone can provide me with a mock plan of how you eat on the band I would appreciate it... I know it will be a lot harder as I am not banded but I would like to try!!

[Rid]

So I called the insurance company last night.... Turns out they won't cover it..... I had a long discussion with the girl on the phone and she told me that they don't even cover it if you have medical or psychological necesity... So now I have opened up a savings account that is my "LAP BAND" savings. I put 500 down and and enrolled in them to take 200 from every check. Well like I said before this isn't my miracle cure all and it is going to take work... just like paying for the surgery.. so I look at this as just another part of my journey to be healthy.... I figure that I should have enough (god willing) in 3 years to actuallygo through with the surgery. As for now I am trying to better myself in other ways...... I have recently joined a gym and have began drinking nothing but water or the high protien shakes and eating much smaller portions... kinda trying to get my mind to get used to it and see if I can't at least maintain wheight instead of gaining more. If anyone can provide me with a mock plan of how you eat on the band I would appreciate it... I know it will be a lot harder as I am not banded but I would like to try!!

I had very good luck with eMedicalFinancing.com. Mindy over there was awesome, and they loaned me enough for the entire surgery. I don't have as much discipline as you. I wanted it NOW and didn't want to wait any more. Send me a personal message if you'd like, and I'll give you more info.

[chrissysdolphin]

Ashely, good luck to you. I hope that you get all of the support that you need. this is a great site for information and other people to talk to. I think that you should really see what it is like after the surgery. You will need to learn how to eat all over again and it is hard at first when we go out to eat and I like to try to sit close to a bathroom just in case. People will be more supportive as they see the weight come off and the attitude change you have about yourself. hope all goes well in your travel throught this phase.