Paula Bee Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Here are a few exerpts from the book, The Vicar or Nibbleswicke, by Roald Dahl, that, intentional or not, apply to our questions about sipping an gulping. This book was written for the Dyslexia Foundation of Great Britain. Once upon a time there lived in England a charming and God-fearing Vicar called the Reverend Lee....As a boy, Robert Lee had suffered from severe dyslexia... by eighteen, Robert Lee had made such splendid progress that his writing and reading were both more or less normal...At 27, Robert Lee had become the Reverend Lee and had been appointed to his first important job as the Vicar of Nibbleswicke...He began to get nervous... It is clear now that sometime during the night that something must have gone click in his brain and stirred up in some way vestiges of the old dyslexia that was lying there dormant...The next morning it was apparent that that he was suffering from a peculiar illness. The way it affected him was as follows: He would be talking to someone, and his brain would pick out the most significant word in the sentence and reverse it. By that I mean he would automatically spell the word backwards and speak it that way without even noticing what he had done. For example: trap became part, drab became bard, God became dog, spirit became tirips, and so on.***** *****Matters came to a head on the following Saturday when the Reverend Lee met a small group of women who he was supposed to be preparing for their First Communion. "The only thing I'm not sure about is whether you are suppposed to drink the wine when the chalice is offered to you. If so, how much should one drink? What I mean is, should it be a good gulp or just a little sip?" "Dear lady," cried the Vicar,"you must never plug it! If everyone were to plug it the cup would be empty after about 4 goes, and the rest of you wouldn't get any at all! What you must do is pis. Pis gently. All of you, all the way along the rail must pis, pis, pis. Do you understand what I mean?"******* Another, non lap-band passage cracks me up.. call me demented.. I am including it for your reading pleasure. ..."Then came the bombshell. When the service was over and "the blessing of Dog Almighty" had been given, the vicar stepped forward to the front of the altar rail and spoke as follows: "Dear people, it is hardly my place as a newcomer to start making rules so early in my incumbency, but there is just one thing I feel I must mention. The road outside our little church is exceedingly narrow and, as you know, there is hardly room for two vehicles to pass each other. Therefore I feel it is only right to ask members of the congregation not to krap all along the front of the church before the service. It is not only unsightly, but it is also dangerous. If you all krap at the same time all along the side of the road you could be hit by a passing car at any time. There is plenty of room for you to do this alongside the church on the south side if you feel you must." So, from now on you will think of pluging, pising, and kraping in a different light. This certainly also answers the questions about pluging or pising water each day, which also could affect your daily kraping. Pising a cup of water as I type, Dog bless us one and all! Aluap (Man, I am just terrible!) Vicar of Nibbleswick by Roald Dahl, published by Puffin Books Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 PaulaBee, thanks for the laughs. It was a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allcdngirl Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Yes Paula... that was funny.. thanks for sharing.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlgpdx Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 ahhh.. I needed that laugh tonight! Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat2nrml Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Too cute..... as I sit here pising my coffee!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Bee Posted June 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Too cute..... as I sit here pising my coffee!!! LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will T Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Too cute..... as I sit here pising my coffee!!! Ewwwww..... how much sugar did it take to make it taste better after THAT????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Bee Posted June 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Ewwwww..... how much sugar did it take to make it taste better after THAT????? LOL.. stick your little finger in and stir... it will be plenty sweet after that. omg.. did I say that out loud? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Bee Posted June 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2008 Bump Read this... you will never plug.. err.. gulp again.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparetire Posted June 25, 2008 Report Share Posted June 25, 2008 too funny Aluap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim2BSlim Posted June 25, 2008 Report Share Posted June 25, 2008 How funny!! How did I miss this post? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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