emotional eatting

[momonamission]

I was supose to start vacation today with my two kids and hubby. I sent them away with the rest of hubby's family. I wanted to spend time with my Mom. Most of you have read we just got horrible news about her health. We only have about 6 months or less. I wanted to have this week to focus on her. So my hubby drove off. ( who is great about everything) I called my Mom and found out she was off with my brother. I proceded to sit down and turn on the television. I got a protien bar, than about 30 minutes l ate a few chips. I knew I was emotionally eatting but just kept waiting for it to make me feel better. I proceded to eat just enough every hour that it never hurt, but I never felt better either. A couple hours later I went and sat with my Mom and watched a movie. She asked if I wanted any ice cream. That use to be one of our pass times....watching movies and eatting ice cream. I hate what I did today. I hate that I fell back on food to make me feel better. I know it's a big void that food just can not fill. On my way out the door I told my Mom I was going to be better tommorow. She just looked at me and laughed and said my brother-in-law was making smoked chicken than gave me a kiss. I hope at some point I can break this bad cycle. I do not usally binge like this. I am more of a social eater. I have been real good until now. I can't hate myself for this, I just gotta wake up tommorow and do better. And I will. I just wanted to vent. Something about putting down might help. Dawn

[nothereanymore]

Dawn, I wish I could give you a big hug. Its hard, you're going through so much right now and its going to be a battle for you. You need to take baby steps and forgive yourself when you fall down. I think all of us would stumble if we were in your situation. My main concern is that you could hurt yourself – you have something added to your body that makes it difficult to eat like a normal person – and if we try, it can have dire consequences. Just be careful.

And you’re realizing, the food doesn’t make you feel better. It doesn’t, we need to learn to deal with our emotions in a different way – and food isn’t the right way. I wish I could fix it and tell you what the right way is for you right now. I can’t, but I can tell you that I care about you and will think and pray for you and yours and hope that you get through this with the least amount of pain as possible, because the truth is we know there will be pain and there’s nothing we can do to take it away, but we can try to ease your burden. Know that we care about you, get out and walk if you can, try not to rely on food, but forgive yourself if you do and know there’s always tomorrow.

Best wishes, and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and don't hate yourself - we love you!

Lisa

[julieburns]

Dear Dawm:

How good of you to be able to honestly post what you went through today. You are in the most difficult time of your life right now and so go easy on yourself. Spend time with your mom as much as you can and just have a small amount of ice cream if you choose to. Don't beat yourself up, you don't need that on top of your stress. I truly care about you from the day I met you I saw a spark in your eye that made me think "What a strong woman"...

[jena]

I have walked in you shoes, Dawn. The same thing happened to my mom almost exactly 19 years ago. Of course I wasn't banded back then and it was really tough. She passed away January 19, 1990.

Honestly, I believe it's easier (although HARD) to deal with and focus on the eating problems than to deal with your mother's illness. In this situation, there's nothing wrong with that. You are under more stress than you realize 24 hours a day. You've got to do whatever you can to get by and deal with what is happening to your mom. Now is not the time to beat yourself up. If it means eating ice cream with your mom, then by God, eat ice cream with your mom!

You have the band and it's a tool, however now is the time to lean on the band to get you through. Make sure you have a good fill and have restriction. It will keep you from eating too much during this time.

Take it easy on yourself. Know that you and your mom are in my prayers.

Jena

[Kittycat]

I am so sorry you having to go through this. You need to treasure this time with your Mom, whether is sharing a movie with ice cream or enjoying a homemade chicken dinner. She needs you and you need her. I wish I could be there to give you a hug too.

Do the best you can, under the circumstances, don't beat yourself up about what you are eating right now, it's totally understandable that you are dealing with bigger issues.

Take care and big hug!!

Cathy

[mona-camille]

((((HUGS)))))

I too, know what you are going through. Unfortunately, a lot of us have been in your shoes. But, please don't fret or kick yourself sweetie. You are in a horrible position right now. And we ALL have had to do whatever it is to make us feel better in this situation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing your ice cream routine with your mom. That IS more important now than ever. Just try to have less. Or low fat or even frozen yogurt.

Remember, you will have the rest of your life to diet, you only have 6 months with your mom. Do whatever you need to do in those 6 months without feeling guilty. You can make up for it later. You and your mom need each other more than ever now, and you don't need the added stress of kicking yourself when you fall.

I know that it is not the ideal situation to be telling you to forget the diet, and I'm not. I'm just saying that you have a different priority right now, and let that be your focus. And remember, we are all here for you when you need us.

(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

Ramona

[momonamission]

Thanks gals. I think I posted that last night kinda unaware of what I was doing. I have great strong moments and sad ones. I am strong right now. You caught me last night at a sad one. The food did make me feel better. I did enjoy having that ice cream with my Mom though. I am going to make what memories I can right now. But I am going to have to be more careful of what I eat and try not to be alone. Cause ya know when your alone it is easier to emotionally eat. I woke up and I am going to go get on my eliptical machine. I do not think I could do it enough to erase for yesterday, but it is a better choice than the bag of chips. Thank you all for listening to me. You gals have helped me more than you will ever know. On another note...for those that are worried that I hurt my band.....strange enough I was very mindful to never eat to much at one time. I just slowly grazed all day. I WILL NOT do that today. I will post later of my NSV later. Y'all are the best. Lesson #1 Food does not make you feel better when your sad.You will still be sad when your done. And dissapointed. DAwn