trulytangledgrl Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Hey all - - haven't been on in a while due to the fact that I am ashamed and embarassed. I think I am doomed to be fat forever. I can't believe myself - I was down to 180, had a little bit of a gain and was holding steady at like 182... and I got so agitated that I began getting out of control with my eating. Just like my old habits that got me fat in the first place. Now I am at 184. :lb12: I am almost 2 months post op and have not had a fill yet, so I am ravenous at times. Other times, though I feel like I am extremely full. Please someone tell me that once I get a fill this will get better?!?! I am so embarrased that I am not losing any more weight I feel like a complete failure. I am really depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will T Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 schedule a fill asap. You'll get immediate restriction, and feel the affect the band can have. I was shocked at the 'fullness' feeling I'd have after eating. I'd split a meal with the spouse each time we'd eat out. It saves tons of money, and I'm full usually before I finish my half. That's about a third of what I used to eat. After a month or so, the body seems to adjust a little bit, and the weight loss minimizes - then it's time for another fill. Always remember the body isn't a constant. Weight goes up and down depending on what part of the day you weigh. Many people in here recommend weighing only a couple of times each week rather than daily. I still do it every morning after the AM shower, just to be consistent. Don't be discouraged.... let this make you tweak what you're doing. Maybe have a soup day and treat yourself to a gourmet soup at a special restaurant, or take an extra stroll in the wonderful dusk light, or even a midnight stroll when it's cool and peaceful. And give your body a couple of days to get back with the program. Conquer each day... it's one day at a time. Schedule the fill, and be in for a new sensation down there - the fullness after a smaller amount of food. Look how far you've come already!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mona-camille Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 I am in the same boat as you dear. I am up to my third fill with little to no restriction. But, I do have the larger band and it takes longer to get it up to where it needs to be. But, try to have a little more patience. I know it's hard, but it will come. It just takes a while to get there for some people. But, do go get that fill and if it doesn't work, get a second fill right away. It usually takes a couple of fills to feel the effects. And also, don't get disappointed if the first fill doesn't give you much restriction. That IS normal. Just try to hang on a little longer and try not to get to upset. You'll get there!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2fat4me Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Everyone is right. We have this done and think bingo-bango the weight should just fall off. Not so for the norm. It does take fill after fill to really feel the effects of this band. I went a month and only lost about 4 pounds. Be sure you have a good fill Dr. who will work with you, we're all different here. Your Dr. needs to know you are trying to work very hard with your band, so he can adjust you to the point you can feel this thing working. I just got my 4th fill ( I haven't put this info on my signature yet) and I am at 2.8 cc in a 4 cc band. It's pretty tight. But I needed it. I said I, not everyone who reads this, just me. I will see how this works and go from there. I too was very discouraged, but you gotta pick yourself up here and do the right things as much as possible. good luck, reneej Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Bee Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 When you feel like you are feeling is the EXACT time you should be posting. Embarassment... not a thing on this board! You can tell us anything! Yup.. time for a fill... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittycat Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 I agree with Paula, you can share anything with us...we are all in this rocky boat together. Schedule a fill!!! Take care and feel better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blazn Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Truly, It WILL get better after a fill!!! Just make sure you tell your fill doc how much you have been eating and what little restriction you have. I think that helps them decide how aggressive to be. Do not worry. You are in the last stages of bandster hell and A LOT of people gain weight before their first fill!! Just schedule that fill and let the band show you how it can work! Good luck and keep us posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGirl Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Poor thing, how we beat ourselves up, myself included! Look at your success overall instead of day to day (Janet, listen to your own advice!!!!) Your first fill will help, but we still need the desire, and if you've gone this far you DO have it! We are human, and emotions can get to us, time of month, too much salt...look at where you were, and never feel ashamed to talk to the group-I promise, we have ALL been there! Keep positive and keep talking! Janet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will T Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 I agree with Paula, you can share anything with us...we are all in this rocky boat together. I laughed at the 'rocky boat' comment.... look at my avatar : ) Grab a lifebelt and HOLD ON!!!!!!!! You're going for an interesting ride!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim2BSlim Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Hang in there sweetie! I did the same thing for a couple of weeks where my weight was up, down, up, down. I thought I was gonna lose my mind! You will come through it though. Your first fill will help you so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ackovach Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 You are doing awesome and should be proud of yourself. I already admire you!!!!!! Look at the weight you have lost without any fills. Hang in there and get a fill. Then you can tell us how wonderful it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willi333 Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Carrie- Look at your weightloss so far - You did amazing !! :lb4: the weight WILL come off! We all been there and we all here to support you > Schedule your fill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soccermom Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Hey all - - haven't been on in a while due to the fact that I am ashamed and embarassed. I think I am doomed to be fat forever. I can't believe myself - I was down to 180, had a little bit of a gain and was holding steady at like 182... and I got so agitated that I began getting out of control with my eating. Just like my old habits that got me fat in the first place. Now I am at 184. :lb12: I am almost 2 months post op and have not had a fill yet, so I am ravenous at times. Other times, though I feel like I am extremely full. Please someone tell me that once I get a fill this will get better?!?! I am so embarrased that I am not losing any more weight I feel like a complete failure. I am really depressed. I was the exact same way, and even was having the feeling of "well since this isn't working either I was just giving up" I had my surgery at 189 got down to 178, and during the month of my first fill went back up to 185. I was so mad, disappointed, ashamed, depressed, you name it I was there. I got my fill 7/4/08 lost 1.5 within 3 days and have not weighed myself since then, because my scale broke. I am thinking that was a sign of some sort, not to weigh right now. isn't that stupid how we all think? But get your fill. I am even scheduled for a 2nd fill 8/16/08 and I think that is going to do it for me. Don't give up, your body is still adjusting. You can do it. Look how well you have been doing without a first fill! You are doing great!! :lb4: :lb18: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaMichelle Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Carrie- please don't beat yourself up.. There are many people on this board who would give their left leg to weigh 184 (I know I would have 6 months ago) when you have such a low starting weight (yes 192 is low in my book) the weight isn't going to come off as fast as someone who started at 250lbs! I mean you only have 40lbs to go before your reach your GOAL so if you only lose 5lbs a MONTH starting in Aug you will reach you will reach your goal within your first year of banding which most people aren't able to do. So while it sucks to see the scale bouncing up and down just remember that the best thing you can do for yourself is think postively and follow the bandster rules, even if you can eat bread and pizza and cheeseburgers DON'T!! You're just going to end up feeling worse, instead eat healthy get your protien and water in and try to exercise if you can!! YOU CAN DO IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banded4life Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Hey! Don't give up...go get a fill! I had mine on July 12 and have lost about 7 pounds since then according to the Fill Center scale. It will make the biggest difference! You can do this!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2mara Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Hugs Carrie! I have been in hiding too.... hiding and binging! I waited too long to schedule my 1st fill with the local doctor and he can't fit me in until next Tuesday. It's crazy what a spiral it can be.... first I was ravenous and could eat anything in site without restriction, so I stopped recording my daily calorie intake (because I knew it was high), then I stopped weighing (because I didn't like what the scale said), then I quit coming to the forum (from embarrassment), then I started adding caffeine by way of unsweet tea (which I hadn't had in over 4 monhts), then I quit exercising, then I started adding candy and cookies! It's absolutely ridiculous! I had lost 35 pounds and now I think I've gained back 5 of that in the last 2 weeks of bad behavior. However, yesterday I decided that I have given myself enough of a pity party and it was time to get busy again. I know am going to have slip ups. I know I'm going to make mistakes. The trick is to pick myself (yourself) back up quickly instead of punishing ourselves with more bad decisions. I can't tell you how good it felt today to eat right and exercise for the first time in weeks! I've already decied I am going to work this lapband to it's fullest potential so when I go for my fill next week I can tell the doctor that I've had some slip-ups, but overall I've done a really good job! We are both really "young" in our lapband journey. My goodness, we haven't even had a fill yet so a lot of our results have been from willpower and good decision making with an empty band! You are doing great. The tool is in there ready for you to use it. So - jump back on the wagon with me! We can do this!!!! Email me anytime that you need a pick me up or if you need to commiserate. tanyayarbrough@gmail.com ~Tanya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulytangledgrl Posted July 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 THANK YOU - - EVERYONE.... Everyone who replied to my message. There were so many of you that came to my rescue and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. You are all so right - I have done pretty good considering that I am almost 2 months out and have still managed to come this far without a fill. I just get so down on myself because I think 'I could be in the 170's if I hadn't had so much ice cream' or whatever else I shouldn't have had in excess. It is like a vicious circle and it is the root of my problem in the first place. I get upset when I see the scale stop moving, I think to myself 'well, this isnt going to work either. might as well eat whatever I want', I eat - - whatever I want, gain more weight, get upset, eat, gain, upset, eat, gain... you see the pattern. I NEED TO STOP right now! I need to work my band. Its a damn expensive tool and I need to properly utilize it. Thank you all for the words of encouragement and motivation - - that was JUST what I needed to hear to get me back in the right mindset. Thank you thank you thank you! SO much! <' /> Tanya, same for you, by the way. If you EVER need to talk, vent, etc... clmiller@mail.widener.edu That goes for everyone here too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sufina Posted July 23, 2008 Report Share Posted July 23, 2008 I went thru something similar; began to find I could eat anything and as much as I could consume after banding, before 1st fill- anxious to get my fill, while secretly enjoying the indulgences I was doing. Then when I got my fill last Fri, I am now experiencing what it is like to eat so much less. Oh, is that what restriction feels like? Gee, that's not as much fun as just piggin out like I had been doing. Then came the remorse, shame and all the rest. You ain't alone here girl! warmly, Sufina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaMichelle Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Hey Carrie- How are you doing? Are you still maintaing or are you back on the losing track? You never said WHY you have yet to get a fill, the band was designed to work only when fills are added, that's why you get a total unfill if you get pregnant- so you can eat as if you aren't banded for the baby health... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cckcsharp Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Hey all - - haven't been on in a while due to the fact that I am ashamed and embarassed. I think I am doomed to be fat forever. I can't believe myself - I was down to 180, had a little bit of a gain and was holding steady at like 182... and I got so agitated that I began getting out of control with my eating. Just like my old habits that got me fat in the first place. Now I am at 184. :lb12: I am almost 2 months post op and have not had a fill yet, so I am ravenous at times. Other times, though I feel like I am extremely full. Please someone tell me that once I get a fill this will get better?!?! I am so embarrased that I am not losing any more weight I feel like a complete failure. I am really depressed. Carrie, I actually think you are doing great. I know that it's frustrating to see the scale go up a few when you want it to go down, but from what I have heard most people gain back a few pounds during th stage that you are in right now. So don't feel ashamed. YOU ARE NORMAL. Once you start getting fills, I am sure the "ravenous" hunger will go away. And so what if you have made mistake and ate things you shouldn't have. You don't have to be perfect, just always keep trying. Everyone in this weight loss battle makes mistakes and back slides from time to time. You just have to re-commit yourself to a new day and start trying again. I think that 28 pounds lost already is a great accomplishment and you need to give yourself credit for that. Your awesome and you can do this. Jessica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GirlBarb Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 Carrie, how are you doing? I was stuck at 180 for 6 weeks and I was banded the week after you. The only reason I didn't gain is because I was on the treadmill an hour a day. then this week, out of the blue I dropped 4 pounds. I kept telling myself that the plateau was okay (it was hard to convience myself) and that my body was taking the time to adjust to the initail weight loss. You can remind me again of this when I go through my next plataeu, PLEASE hang in there honey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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