Very Hard Post To Write

[vix]

I can barely believe that I am writing this because I have only been here less than 2 weeks, but I feel as if I have friends here who have gone through similar situations and I feel comfortable here. I am prepared for several "strong" messages telling me that I am wrong and that I need to do things differently. I'm not sure how I will take everything, but I am asking for advice since I can't ask anyone else...so here goes...

My life is seriously miserable. I hate myself for getting to the weight I am and I have so much fear and worry about so much in my life that involves my weight. I have talked to my husband in the past about having the lapband surgery, but he had a friend whose wife was banded and all the guy talked about was how much she "puked up everything she ate" and how gross it was. Now, after being here for the time I have, I know now that the woman was obviously NOT following the diet that she was given, so I'm not at all worried about that. But, my husband is also a huge "penny pincher" and would never in a million years agree to my using our savings for my lapband surgery. I know that I can't just sit down and talk to my husband because we would never be able to get through the conversation without him blowing up and freaking out. Now, don't get me wrong...I love my husband and he loves me...but sometimes I don't think that he loves me enough if he won't agree to let me do something that I know with every ounce of my being that I HAVE to do in order to live life. And, the fact that I want to go to MEXICO to have the surgery is absolutely unthinkable! He won't even leave the United States for vacation to a place like The Bahamas because it is not in the USA!

So, this is the way I am going to propose my surgery to my husband:

I am going to sit down and write him a long note about how much I need the surgery and how much it will make a difference in my life. I am going to tell him that I've made up my mind and that I'd love to have not only his permission, but for him to accompany me to the OCC, but that if he doesn't, I will go alone and I will be successful in doing so. I will use 1/2 of the payment out of our savings and I will get a personal loan for the other 1/2.

And now the worst part of it:

I am willing and prepared to have him leave me if he feels I have somehow betrayed him by making this decisioin on my own. (Our marriage is based on us always making large decisions together, and this is a decision I've made on my own). I don't want a divorce, and it will kill me if I have to get one, but I have to choose my life over my marriage and that is what I am prepared to do.

I can't give him my letter until after next Friday when his son goes home from his summer visit because I don't want to do this while he is still visiting. So, I hope that I can do this...and please...wish me luck...

[karenlynn79]

First I want to say thank you for trusting us on this forum with what is going on with you. I think for sure that 1) the note is a great idea, less emotional and 2) you should consider seeing a marriage and family therapist (disclaimer: I am one so I am biased....) first without your husband and then maybe take him with you to discuss what's going on with you. It sounds like you have a loving relationship and maybe he doesn't realize how you are basically at your rope's end and you have to act. An impartial third party might be helpful.... Has he seen this forum and read the posts? Can you print out info on Dr. Ortiz? Does he respond to facts and figures? If so, Dr Ortiz as we all know is basically the best in this field and has the data to back it up...

Please let us know how it goes. Maybe work on the letter for a while so it's "just right".

Good luck,

Karen

[Will T]

Luck, and prayers for you, vix.

Please let him see a few of these threads, with the photos, and how the band has changed our lives. Let him see the confidence we all have in Dr. Ortiz. That may let him see that you aren't just being impulsive.

Again, luck... and prayers. He may shine through and let his love for you outweigh (bad pun, I know) his paradigms.

Bill

[Maytee]

Vix,

Wow, I understand how you feel about wanting to change your life because your so unhappy about your weight. I know I don't know your or your husband but if you truly love each other I can't imagine Him not supporting you in this. My husband always tells me it's not what you say but how you say it. I am sure your going to present this in a way of asking Him to help you.

I will pray that God give your the right words and direction in explaining your heart to your husband. I do love my band and if you live your life working with the band it can help you change your life to a healthy active one.

I hope I helped.

Maytee

[Kittycat]

Wow Vix, you do have a dilemma....the note is a good idea, it gets the subject out there for discussion.

I totally understand that you and your husband have made decisions together throughout your marriage, however, some decisions have to be made on your own.

I decided to get banded, came home and told my husband, he said" you don't have to do something that drastic, I love you the way you are" . I appreciated those words, but decided to go ahead with it for me and my health. He was fully supportive and took me to the appointments and to the hospital for surgery. He would not agree to having surgery out of province ( I live in Ontario, Canada), so proposing the OCC, was not an option. I told him that I would arrange to pay for it myself and we left it at that.

If you tell him how important this is to you and your health and that if need be, you will finance it yourself. You want him to support you, but if he cannot, you are going to do it anyway. If he truly loves you and wants to make you happy and healthy, he'll at least think about it.

Good luck with this, if you need anything at all, just ask!!

[vix]

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your answers...and thanks for not "riping me a new one" since that is kinda what I was preparing myself for. I literally have tears in my eyes from the comfort I receive when I read these posts.

It definitely is a complicated situation and my husband and I have actually been to counseling before because he has been to Iraq twice and we had to deal with his coming home issues. He knows how important this is to me because he has seen me gain. We've only been married for 7 years and I have gained 60# in the 7 years. He's a gourmet cook as well as a marathon runner...so he views my weight issue as something that can be taken care of by "limiting my food intake and exercising." Simple as that. I think that a person who has never had a weight problem doesn't have a clue how to deal with one or meet it head on. While limiting my food intake and exercising on my own might work if I was a different person might work...it's impossible for me. I just can't seem to control what I eat if I'm left on my own to do it. I need the band to control myself.

[Kittycat]

Vix, that's put another bright light on things, he is able to cook, eat and run marathons...just think, if you got healthy, you could enjoy some of those things together, you could approach it that way??

Best of luck.

[cckcsharp]

If you believe in prayer, then I would definetly suggest using that before writing the letter and discussing it with your husband. If you feel strongly that this is the right road for you, then certainly a higher power can help you overcome this obstacle and help you reach your goal. I wish the best for you. My heart goes out to you, as I and everyone else here knows that challenges and heart ache of being over weight. We are pulling for you to succeed. I also agree with everyone else that you should ask him to read the posts on this forum and educate him about Dr. Ortiz. This might help to soften his heart toward your needs and desires.

Jessica

[mona-camille]

I don't see why anyone would put your decision down. It is your life. Which means, not ours, not your husbands, but your own! Yes, you do share your life with your husband, but your body is your own. I hate to say it, but if you are already thinking this would cause a divorce, then you two might have other issues besides this one. But, again, you have to do what you have to do.

Everyone here on earth has to do whatever it is inside of them that gives them comfort to live their life to the fullest. If your husband cannot understand that, then he is being selfish. I don't know him or you, and I don't mean to call him names, but just trying to give you some thoughts you might be able to use in your letter. I do think the letter is a good idea. It is how I have to talk to my husband too. If I tried to do it face to face, he would walk away and I would never get to finish.

Just make sure you tell him that you love him and need his support and don't bring up a dovirce or anything just yet. See where the letter takes you first. He might just surprise you. Also, attach to the letter, all the research you can get a hold of. Like cost in the US compared to Mexico. Show him that this surgery has been done in Mexico for over 15 years and the US only 5. Make sure you tell him that Dr. Ortiz is the one who taught the Americans how to do it. Just get as much info as you can to include wiht the letter so he has it all together and can read it all at one time.

Then, if all else fails, send him here and w'll take care of him, LOL!!!

[Roro]

Vix my heart goes out to you xoxo

In my opinion, i believe that there comes a time when we have to remember that we are people with our own minds and own beliefs.. when we get

married we do often go in an automatic mode and do whats best for everyone else...meaning husband/wife children and often put ourselves last.

Its so important to remember Vix that you can make this decision on your own and need to make that clear to your husband in your letter... being his

wife doesnt mean that if he is against the idea of you being banded that you will just not do it. I do understand that it is not an easy way to decide something

that your husband is so against, In saying all of this i do have to say i have not been in your circumstance as my husband was very supportive of me being banded. So maybe what im saying is wrong but it is only my opinon if i was in your circumstances.

I am sure if he truely loves you Vix he will come to understand how important it is to you. Stay strong to what you want to do and I wish you all the best.. please keep us updated and we will provide you with the support you need to get through this hard time :give_rose:

[Blazn]

Vix, I think writing him a letter is definately the best thing to do. He can't interrupt a letter. Another thing you need to do is ask God to prepare his heart before he reads the letter. As the Lord to go before you and open the eyes of his heart that he may see how sincere you are about having this done and how "miserable" you are. But please do not mention divorce to him right now. That will only seem like a slap in the face and for sure a closed door. Just start with the letter and see how it goes. You will be in my thoughts and prayers! Please keep us updated.

[FLAN]

Vix, my heart goes out to you. I will say an extra prayer for you each night hoping that your husband has an open mind and heart about all of this, and to keep you stong. Let me know if there is anything you need.

*BIG HUGS*

Heidi

[banded4life]

You could even sell him on Dr. Ortiz and his stats first and leave out the fact that he is in Mexico. Once he fills confident that Dr. Ortiz is the best, then tell him about Mexico.

[vix]

I can't tell you all how much your comments mean to me. I will take every suggestion and comment and will use them.

I do want to make one thing clear - when I talked about divorce, I meant it in that I wanted you to know (and him) how strongly I feel about this and to demonstrate how serious this is to me. I'm not going to threaten divorce or anything like that, but that I would rather be divorced and healthy than married and unhealthy. That might sound selfish to some, but it's just me being honest.

I do appreciate everyone being so kind. This really helps me more than you know...

[momonamission]

I went and had it done with a friend. My husband would have gone with me but he was so stressed out about the whole thing I knew he would make me upset. He was just worried about me because he loves me. I studied this dicision for two years and the morning I got on the flight I thought "What on earth am I doing? I must be crazy!" My friend calmed me down and I had a great trip and it was much easier than I thought it would be. I am about 2months post op and my husband who was completely againt it at first for fear just said he was so glad I did it after all. He said he was proud of me for being strong enough to make such a choice. He loved me the way I was. .....I did not. I had to do this for me, not him. It might help him to talk to one of our forum husbands. I am sure my husband would be willing to talk to him about how he felt and the after math. My husband does not like change, but he has liked this one. Just let me know if you want my phone #. I also showed Brad this forum and exposed myself and weeknesses to him. Which I had not done before. When he saw how unhappy I was he had no choice but to support me. (Even though he was still scared.)

[Michelle2]

I can barely believe that I am writing this because I have only been here less than 2 weeks, but I feel as if I have friends here who have gone through similar situations and I feel comfortable here. I am prepared for several "strong" messages telling me that I am wrong and that I need to do things differently. I'm not sure how I will take everything, but I am asking for advice since I can't ask anyone else...so here goes...

My life is seriously miserable. I hate myself for getting to the weight I am and I have so much fear and worry about so much in my life that involves my weight. I have talked to my husband in the past about having the lapband surgery, but he had a friend whose wife was banded and all the guy talked about was how much she "puked up everything she ate" and how gross it was. Now, after being here for the time I have, I know now that the woman was obviously NOT following the diet that she was given, so I'm not at all worried about that. But, my husband is also a huge "penny pincher" and would never in a million years agree to my using our savings for my lapband surgery. I know that I can't just sit down and talk to my husband because we would never be able to get through the conversation without him blowing up and freaking out. Now, don't get me wrong...I love my husband and he loves me...but sometimes I don't think that he loves me enough if he won't agree to let me do something that I know with every ounce of my being that I HAVE to do in order to live life. And, the fact that I want to go to MEXICO to have the surgery is absolutely unthinkable! He won't even leave the United States for vacation to a place like The Bahamas because it is not in the USA!

So, this is the way I am going to propose my surgery to my husband:

I am going to sit down and write him a long note about how much I need the surgery and how much it will make a difference in my life. I am going to tell him that I've made up my mind and that I'd love to have not only his permission, but for him to accompany me to the OCC, but that if he doesn't, I will go alone and I will be successful in doing so. I will use 1/2 of the payment out of our savings and I will get a personal loan for the other 1/2.

And now the worst part of it:

I am willing and prepared to have him leave me if he feels I have somehow betrayed him by making this decisioin on my own. (Our marriage is based on us always making large decisions together, and this is a decision I've made on my own). I don't want a divorce, and it will kill me if I have to get one, but I have to choose my life over my marriage and that is what I am prepared to do.

I can't give him my letter until after next Friday when his son goes home from his summer visit because I don't want to do this while he is still visiting. So, I hope that I can do this...and please...wish me luck...

Hello Vix,

I am kind of in the same boat. Nothing is more frustrating than being miserable only to be told all you/me need is a little self control and exercise. I admit that I love to eat and can't get a handle on it. The feeling of being powerless is incredibly frustrating.

My significant other and I got into a huge argument, he said he was going to move out, so I went to the OCC on 48 hours notice and had it done...it's been one week and he still doesn't know. Not that I decided to do it in 48 hours (I've been reading the forum for @ 8 months), I decided not to let him decide for me. You are not alone and it's so sad to feel you have no support...I can totally relate. The people on this forum are so wonderful, I read every word!!

I totally hope things work out for you. It would be so nice to share the journey together. Take care of yourself and good luck!!

[Will T]

Michelle, remember if he (your significant other) doesn't support you on your procedure, we are all here for you.

When you become the bombshell you want to be, and ALL the men are lining up to talk to you, I'll bet he changes his tune.

AmberLam posted this on May 23 (under the thread entitled 'priceless')

Cost of Lap Band weight loss surgery: $8,000

Round trip air fare to San Diego to have Lap Band surgery: $500

Monthly follow-up visits for my local Fill Center USA doctor: $85

Seeing the look on my EX-fiance's (the one who dumped me 5 days before the wedding, when I was at my highest weight and after being together over 6 years!) face after loosing 105+ pounds........

PRICELESS

(my compliments to AmberLam once more for giving us this wonderful Kodak moment)

[Tee]

Vix,

Oh my!!!! I had the same situation. It is a hard one and I hope I can offer some comfort. My husband is an athlete. He played college ball and then proceeded to play professionally. When he has weight issues he can just cut back and work out and drop weight with no problems. However that is not the case for me. I have tried for 10years to lose weight. I have tried diet pills, fasts, liquid diets, body for life and I could go on and on. I read about the lap band in a magazine. I decided that it was something that would help me physically and emotionally. I was border line diabetic( if there is such a thing), I had high cholesterol, a spastic colon from stress. My health was at stake. I found a surgeon in Dallas and made my appointment. So I decided to talk it over with my husband and he blew a fuse. "Self Control" is what he said I needed. To get a grip. Exercise and eat right is all I heard over the course of two weeks, and why are you eating that or why are you eating so much. I decided to cancel my appointment. Over the next two months all I could think about was the lap band. So I went on line and looked up lap band surgeons and found Dr.O. I checked him out and his facilities and decided to do it. I wanted to talk with my husband but did not want to hear his mouth. I knew it was wrong. So four days before my surgery I told him what I was doing and informed him that I was doing this for my health whether he agreed with it or not. I told him I loved him and I wanted his support, but if he did not want to support me that was his prerogative. He asked how was I going to pay for it, my husband is a penny pincher also. Who was doing the surgery? Where was the surgery? I told him I was financing it and paying a low monthly payment. I told him a doctor named Dr.Ortiz. I said I was having the surgery in Mexico. That did not settle well with him. He thought I was making the biggest mistake in my life by going to Mexico. He was very skeptical and thought I was so naive. So I actually called and spoke with Dr. O and he talked with my husband and answered all his questions. Let me tell you my husband is very thorough. He was at ease a little. I had my surgery on July 7th. Everything is going well. My attitude has changed and I finally feel I have my life in control. I have lost a total of 18lbs!!!! I have something that will assist me in my weight loss. It has been the best decision I have made. It was something I had to do. I am sorry if I rambled, but I wanted you to know I feel your pain. I hope this help and you can write me anytime. I will keep you in my prayers.

Tee

[bubs]

I can barely believe that I am writing this because I have only been here less than 2 weeks, but I feel as if I have friends here who have gone through similar situations and I feel comfortable here. I am prepared for several "strong" messages telling me that I am wrong and that I need to do things differently. I'm not sure how I will take everything, but I am asking for advice since I can't ask anyone else...so here goes...

My life is seriously miserable. I hate myself for getting to the weight I am and I have so much fear and worry about so much in my life that involves my weight. I have talked to my husband in the past about having the lapband surgery, but he had a friend whose wife was banded and all the guy talked about was how much she "puked up everything she ate" and how gross it was. Now, after being here for the time I have, I know now that the woman was obviously NOT following the diet that she was given, so I'm not at all worried about that. But, my husband is also a huge "penny pincher" and would never in a million years agree to my using our savings for my lapband surgery. I know that I can't just sit down and talk to my husband because we would never be able to get through the conversation without him blowing up and freaking out. Now, don't get me wrong...I love my husband and he loves me...but sometimes I don't think that he loves me enough if he won't agree to let me do something that I know with every ounce of my being that I HAVE to do in order to live life. And, the fact that I want to go to MEXICO to have the surgery is absolutely unthinkable! He won't even leave the United States for vacation to a place like The Bahamas because it is not in the USA!

So, this is the way I am going to propose my surgery to my husband:

I am going to sit down and write him a long note about how much I need the surgery and how much it will make a difference in my life. I am going to tell him that I've made up my mind and that I'd love to have not only his permission, but for him to accompany me to the OCC, but that if he doesn't, I will go alone and I will be successful in doing so. I will use 1/2 of the payment out of our savings and I will get a personal loan for the other 1/2.

And now the worst part of it:

I am willing and prepared to have him leave me if he feels I have somehow betrayed him by making this decisioin on my own. (Our marriage is based on us always making large decisions together, and this is a decision I've made on my own). I don't want a divorce, and it will kill me if I have to get one, but I have to choose my life over my marriage and that is what I am prepared to do.

I can't give him my letter until after next Friday when his son goes home from his summer visit because I don't want to do this while he is still visiting. So, I hope that I can do this...and please...wish me luck...

I read your post and it was like I had written it. I have friends who had gastric bypass and they were a mess afterwards. Hubby said no way. I told him I wasn't asking for permission and the savings were both of ours and if I didn't do it I would be using a walker in two more years. That he didn't live with my pain day in and day out. I also pointed out that at 71 he wasn't going to be able to keep working part time forever and I could only go back to full time if I was healthier.

I asked if he wanted to go...he said no so I asked my daughter who did go with me. He is no good where people have accents, he gets frustrated and mad when he doesn't understand what they say.. I then started to show him all the stats on Dr Ortiz, his qualifications. Every day I would tell him more and he came around. I pointed out the differences between it and the bypass surgery. I read him post and soon he was telling people what I was going to do. Just keep feeding him info in small doses Show him the testimonals Carolyn will email you...they swayed my husband a lot. That and the fact that Dr Ortiz is the best in the field and the clinic was not a public hospital.

I wish you well, I was banded on Monday and my husband has been great since I got back. Even when I was sick as a dog on Thursday. Stick by your guns, it's your body and life. No one can live it for yoiu and no one knows what you need better than you.

Pam

[Diva]

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your answers...and thanks for not "riping me a new one" since that is kinda what I was preparing myself for. I literally have tears in my eyes from the comfort I receive when I read these posts.

It definitely is a complicated situation and my husband and I have actually been to counseling before because he has been to Iraq twice and we had to deal with his coming home issues. He knows how important this is to me because he has seen me gain. We've only been married for 7 years and I have gained 60# in the 7 years. He's a gourmet cook as well as a marathon runner...so he views my weight issue as something that can be taken care of by "limiting my food intake and exercising." Simple as that. I think that a person who has never had a weight problem doesn't have a clue how to deal with one or meet it head on. While limiting my food intake and exercising on my own might work if I was a different person might work...it's impossible for me. I just can't seem to control what I eat if I'm left on my own to do it. I need the band to control myself.

Hello and I really feel for you and all the added strain you are having to deal with regarding your decision to get a lap band. I was fortunate in that my husband was completely supportive of my decision BUT BUT BUT I wanted to share my experience with you because of your last sentence "I need the band to control myself."

100% those words were exactly my words and the reason I got the band. Unfortunately for me, I found that my fantasy of what the band would do was just that: a fantasy. After much struggle, I believe I've finally come to terms with what the band will and won't do for me. I can't speak for anyone else but in my case, the band does very little to control me. Even with restriction. In other words, most of it does come down to the basics: limit food intake and exercise. Shoot. Not what I thought I was paying for. I do not regret getting the band but I might think differently if it had been a financial burden. As my husband and I joke, it's cost about $1000 a lb so far but it's not really funny. I've only lost 7 lbs in 4 months. Why? Because I was thinking / hoping that the band would control me. Wrong wrong wrong. I've had two fills and have restriction but believe me if I don't control myself the band ain't gonna do it for me. You might notice that one of the most successful and popular bandsters on this site has done it mainly through willpower and self control - stopping herself from overeating - on her own. She simply amazes me. Trust me, the band won't stop ice cream or chocolate or potato chips. It will still take self control to follow the rules - just like any "diet" pre-band.

All I'm saying is that you might, like me and other bandsets that personally know, still have to grapple with the "impossibilty" of limiting your food intake and exercising. The band will help - this is the first time that I've actually lost anything without much of a struggle. I'm thrilled that I've kept off even 7 lbs. I have about 40 lbs to go. Most of the time I struggle with hunger. The band doesn't always let me eat as much as I'd like but let me tell you I'm still hungry. Sometimes the band will stop me from eating because the food feels tight and uncomfortable in my gullet. The challenge comes in another 20 minutes with the unconfortable feeling passes and I am able to eat without restriction. Not eating at that point comes down to willpower because I'm still hungry.

I hope that you will be able to get your surgery. I just want you to be aware of the reality of the band especially since you will undoubtedly have the added pressure of a husband who may not be completely at ease with the procedure. I wish you the best. Please keep us posted.

[GirlBarb]

You could also try to record the Ophra show on Aug 11th, it is about lapband.

I made up my mind and when I brought it up to my husband I said: I have come to a major health desion, I have to do something before it is too late.

I presented all the health problems that will go away and all the ones that will be prevented...Made sure he knew the money savings by not having to be ill from weight related illnesses.

I told him I reserched and found this to be the safest and cost effect in the long run...have you spent money in the past on weight loss promises? Special diets? bigger clothes? Fatique from eccess weight?

My doctor also said that he has seen life changes that are wonderful from patients and suported me, how about your doc?

If it is somthing you know you have to do, let him know that. I would not threaten him with divorce quite yet.

My husband saw that I was unyielding and then went along with me...he liked the idea that I would be eating less and saving money on food and doctor bills. LOL In the long hall, the band will pay for itself. You are right, people that don't have a weight problem don't get it, lucky for me, (or not) my husband has been tring to quit smoking for years, I asked him if he could have surgery that could get him to quit would he do it...Yes was his answer.

If you go alone....you will not be alone there for long...we are a special bonding group that love to share the experience with each other. While I was there with my husband, we were almost never alone, the ladies hung out with us and we had a great time. I still keep in touch with them on the phone and by email, as well as the beautiful people on this forum.

Do what you need to do for all the right reasons, when your heart and mind are set, it will fall into place for you to know what to do.

Best of Luck, you are going to do the right thing, Barb

[JGirl]

Vix-

Poor thing, I am sorry you have this dilemma-if your husband is dead set on having it done in the USA, tell him you will-then tell him the price difference, and ask him to pay the difference if it means so much to him. I myself was banded in Cal. and love my Dr-more expensive than Mexico, but it includes all my fills, and he is right around the corner-

Best of luck, and keep us informed!

Jaent

[Jann]

Vix,

Oh my!!!! I had the same situation. It is a hard one and I hope I can offer some comfort. My husband is an athlete. He played college ball and then proceeded to play professionally. When he has weight issues he can just cut back and work out and drop weight with no problems. However that is not the case for me. I have tried for 10years to lose weight. I have tried diet pills, fasts, liquid diets, body for life and I could go on and on. I read about the lap band in a magazine. I decided that it was something that would help me physically and emotionally. I was border line diabetic( if there is such a thing), I had high cholesterol, a spastic colon from stress. My health was at stake. I found a surgeon in Dallas and made my appointment. So I decided to talk it over with my husband and he blew a fuse. "Self Control" is what he said I needed. To get a grip. Exercise and eat right is all I heard over the course of two weeks, and why are you eating that or why are you eating so much. I decided to cancel my appointment. Over the next two months all I could think about was the lap band. So I went on line and looked up lap band surgeons and found Dr.O. I checked him out and his facilities and decided to do it. I wanted to talk with my husband but did not want to hear his mouth. I knew it was wrong. So four days before my surgery I told him what I was doing and informed him that I was doing this for my health whether he agreed with it or not. I told him I loved him and I wanted his support, but if he did not want to support me that was his prerogative. He asked how was I going to pay for it, my husband is a penny pincher also. Who was doing the surgery? Where was the surgery? I told him I was financing it and paying a low monthly payment. I told him a doctor named Dr.Ortiz. I said I was having the surgery in Mexico. That did not settle well with him. He thought I was making the biggest mistake in my life by going to Mexico. He was very skeptical and thought I was so naive. So I actually called and spoke with Dr. O and he talked with my husband and answered all his questions. Let me tell you my husband is very thorough. He was at ease a little. I had my surgery on July 7th. Everything is going well. My attitude has changed and I finally feel I have my life in control. I have lost a total of 18lbs!!!! I have something that will assist me in my weight loss. It has been the best decision I have made. It was something I had to do. I am sorry if I rambled, but I wanted you to know I feel your pain. I hope this help and you can write me anytime. I will keep you in my prayers.

Tee

That pretty much says it all! My hubby was against it as well but I simply said, "It's not a negotiation", then it was the cost which I negated because I used my own money, every argument he put up I calmly gave back a well researched response. I read every piece of material and viewed every video I could find on the subject.

He sulked for a bit, I went to OCC alone, had it done and now hubby is incredibly supportive even reminding me if I go to take a sip of water during a meal or if a piece of food is too large. He actively participates in taking measurements and is forever with the camera to journal the differences. Every morning when I get up my vitamins are lined up by my coffee, he reminds me to drink a protein shake as I don't eat in the morning, and when I'm working if I forget to drink my water he'll place a bottle on my desk. Anyway, you get the point. He was adamantly against it and very vocal but now he gets it. He just had to get to that place in his head in his own time and in his own way.

I think it was the fear of the unknown and that's what he reacted to. He now realizes that sometimes you just have to do something for yourself which leads to the greater good.

I wish you luck in your journey and I hope your husband will come around. Take good care!

[Paula Bee]

Vix, hun, how are you doing? :lb18:

[vix]

Vix, hun, how are you doing? :lb18:

Hi Paula,

I wrote my letter last night and it is 4 single spaced typed pages. I will give it to him on Friday. The good news though for me is that I have my surgery scheduled already and was able to put the dates in the letter. So we'll see how it goes. I feel positive, scared yes, but trying to keep positive. My trip to the OCC is in only 2 weeks, so I have a lot to do to keep me busy until then.

Thanks so much for asking...it means a lot. I will let everyone know as soon as I give him my letter. Hope you are having a wonderful week!