soccermom Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Thank you for all your support and comments. This forum has been great, but I will no longer be using it. The negativity really kind of takes control of the whole forum. I am very surprised by it. (Cedar and Kimmy in MD) I have read a few post's in the last half hour and very shocked by some of the comments and truly believe this is not the place for them. I thought this forum was for suppport and tips to help out. We are all here because we have a food addiction and like any addiction you can't just flip a switch and turn it off. Food has always been my crutch, and if it wasn't an addiction I would not have spent $8000 on the band. So thank you again, especially MamaMichelle, Evette (who hasn't been on in a while which I have noticed), Mona, Mom12, Kim2bslim & Lisal. You guys are wonderful and such an inspiration! If anyone wants to keep in touch, please feel free to email me anytime at soccersoto@sbcglobal.net. Take care all and good luck in your journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimmy in MD Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 OMG!!!! Ridiculous! Bye --- best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom12 Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Jacque, I agree with you and have slowed down alot on reading here because of the same issues. I will be glad to keep up with you by email. Blessings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim2BSlim Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Jacque~ I really wish you would change your mind. There are alot of comments and posts on this board that I find cross the line between constructive criticism and just downright ugliness. I do not reply to these types of posts at all. I try to make the best of my lap band and my support group. Honestly, I think the post you made yesterday was a call for help, not a call for people to start dogging you out. I sincerely believe that the ones of us on here who offer support can really help you get through this tough time you are having. To leave because of a few crude remarks is letting them win. I am your friend..I would love to continue supporting you with your lap band. There is an ignore button you can use. Use it! Just don't leave, epecially right now when you are struggling. Kimmy In MD~I just wanted to ask you something. You know you and I have alot in common (wink wink) but on the post a few days ago when someone was asking for help you made a remark that was pretty upsetting to me about people being "so called experts" and you were glad someone finally gave the right advice. I looked through the thread and I didn't see where anyone had given bad advice..could you clear that up for me? Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim2BSlim Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Cedar~ Kimmy in MD and I are on great terms. Noone called her out except you, honey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormy Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Wow, what happened, I must have missed something. I haven't even got my band yet and I see someone leaving the site. Did someone say something mean? Is someone upset? I think this is one of the hardest things that people have to go through, we need to support eachother, it is so important, whatever happened, can't it be worked out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadpole Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 I totally agree. There is a lot of insults thrown around here and harsh undertones. We are here to support one another especially when we are having a melt down and not doing what we should be doing. We are only human and we do make mistakes. (Note: No one has offended me personally) I think some people need to make better choices in how they say things. They was in was intended is not always the way it is received, especially on the internet. There are so many wonderful people on this forum, and a few bad apples. I would rather block them than leave the wonderful support. In the end it is your decission, you will be missed by many dear. Hugs Trudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mona-camille Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Thank you for all your support and comments. This forum has been great, but I will no longer be using it. The negativity really kind of takes control of the whole forum. I am very surprised by it. (Cedar and Kimmy in MD) I have read a few post's in the last half hour and very shocked by some of the comments and truly believe this is not the place for them. I thought this forum was for suppport and tips to help out. We are all here because we have a food addiction and like any addiction you can't just flip a switch and turn it off. Food has always been my crutch, and if it wasn't an addiction I would not have spent $8000 on the band. So thank you again, especially MamaMichelle, Evette (who hasn't been on in a while which I have noticed), Mona, Mom12, Kim2bslim & Lisal. You guys are wonderful and such an inspiration! If anyone wants to keep in touch, please feel free to email me anytime at soccersoto@sbcglobal.net. Take care all and good luck in your journey. I'm kind of thinking the same thing as you. Every month or so, this crap erupts and I am tired of it. I thought it was over for good after the last melee about a month back and everything was great. But I see the moderators are letting it continue this time. Personally, too many times I am attacked behind the scenes and when I try to defend myself, my words get re-arranged and I look like the bad guy. I think it's time to call it quits too. Maybe someone can set up a private forum so those of us with a heart can keep in touch without worry of interruptions in our little support group. So, please keep in touch, besides, you never sent those pictures and I am still waiting!! (((((HUGS))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriBecky Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Ok guys. I have to say this again, when you let some <insert name here> dictate how you react and whether or not you use the forum, you let him win. If you refuse to react he'll go away, just like a whiney little kid - he'll get bored and go. Don't give him what he wants. I can't say this enough... ignore ignore ignore. You are giving him exactly what he wants. I'll keep an eye out as will our other spaminators, but please do NOT RESPOND TO HIS POSTS OR EMAILS. thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will T Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 I suggest you click on the link in the upper right hand of this page that says "My Controls", then go down to the lower left to "Manage ignored users" and include anyone you feel has been negative and rude in posts. The words they type will NOT APPEAR for you. It worked wonders for me!! We are all in it together, and once the sourness is gone, the rest of us will escort each other on this journey. Remember... go to your profile page and block anyone you feel isn't helping you. There are TOO MANY AWESOME posters in here to allow people you feel are hurting your efforts to drag you down. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenlynn79 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Ok guys. I have to say this again, when you let some <insert name here> dictate how you react and whether or not you use the forum, you let him win. If you refuse to react he'll go away, just like a whiney little kid - he'll get bored and go. Don't give him what he wants. I can't say this enough... ignore ignore ignore. You are giving him exactly what he wants. I'll keep an eye out as will our other spaminators, but please do NOT RESPOND TO HIS POSTS OR EMAILS.thanks Lori you read my mind! As a school counselor this is exactly what I tell kids who are letting bullies "win". They WANT a reaction and when they get it, they win! Ignore them like you would a sad little school bully! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom12 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Will, I can see how to block PM messages but didn't see a place to block certain members so I don't have to read their garbage. Can you tell me where I find this again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will T Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 i edited the post. "My controls", then go to "Manage ignored users" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom12 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Thanks Will, that worked great!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will T Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Ummm... well.... If you can read my posts, then I will smile It is one reason I am back from the same issue Jacque and stormy are facing, plus a little more zing of a personal threat. I wasn't going to let someone like that keep me down and away. I always learned it was mostly better to walk away than to sit there and take it... but that little "ignore" thingy worked wonders... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Bee Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Ummm... well.... If you can read my posts, then I will smile It is one reason I am back from the same issue Jacque and stormy are facing, plus a little more zing of a personal threat. I wasn't going to let someone like that keep me down and away. I always learned it was mostly better to walk away than to sit there and take it... but that little "ignore" thingy worked wonders... And we are SOOOOOOOO glad you stayed! I wish you would post more, but I know school is starting back, and it is so exhausting to be a teacher for the first few weeks of school. (Make that the first month of ... er.. the first semester of sch... mm.. the months of prep for state testing and the test.. mm.. gee.. the last month of school.. ) Well, you and I know.. I would laugh, but it isn't funny. Those of you that would leave, please don't. Many of us wouldn't have survived the same drama, same person, last month if we hadn't used ignore. I do sincerely apologize to anyone that I offended or hurt by my responses to said person. I didn't mean to add to the drama, and it won't happen again. I should remember that when you pat a skunk you get sprayed! :wacko2: Paula Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GirlBarb Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Please, no one leave, I love you guys. And so many of us need your suport. Please instead learn to tune out negativity in all areas of your life and don't take this guy to heart. I love this saying that I learned years ago in an AA meeting "What you think of me is none of my business" it has helped me to learn to understand that it comes down to what you think of yourself. I hope you are realizing that you're suport is needed here. You have saved me from, and guided me through so many days of adjusting to the bandlife. We are all in this together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emtstacey76 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Please, no one leave, I love you guys. And so many of us need your suport. Please instead learn to tune out negativity in all areas of your life and don't take this guy to heart. I love this saying that I learned years ago in an AA meeting "What you think of me is none of my business" it has helped me to learn to understand that it comes down to what you think of yourself. I hope you are realizing that you're suport is needed here. You have saved me from, and guided me through so many days of adjusting to the bandlife. We are all in this together. That is a great quote and I think I am going to steal it!! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewelsMA Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Being new here, I don't know any of you, but I agree with your comments on ignoring the negativity and I have to say I wish you wouldn't go, Soccer Mom. I'm so glad to have a site like this one to turn to, its given me SO much information. Just reading your stories and checking out your profiles has helped me a lot. I'm being banded in 10 days, and I've counted on your experiences, blogs and comments to know I'm not crazy for how I feel right now, to know what to expect right after and to realize we are all human and not perfect. I'm a quiet person, and hate drama as much as you all, so I understand if you go. But if you do, it's a big loss to people like me who listen (or read) more than they speak out. Thanks for all you've given me, it's more than you know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vix Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Being new here, I don't know any of you, but I agree with your comments on ignoring the negativity and I have to say I wish you wouldn't go, Soccer Mom. I'm so glad to have a site like this one to turn to, its given me SO much information. Just reading your stories and checking out your profiles has helped me a lot. I'm being banded in 10 days, and I've counted on your experiences, blogs and comments to know I'm not crazy for how I feel right now, to know what to expect right after and to realize we are all human and not perfect. I'm a quiet person, and hate drama as much as you all, so I understand if you go. But if you do, it's a big loss to people like me who listen (or read) more than they speak out. Thanks for all you've given me, it's more than you know! I'm new..so don't know a lot of you...but I have been off for a few days and came back to see this and then went and read what I am pretty sure was what instigated this. I truly hope that a negative person or two won't cause you to leave. If you leave, you won't have any support, and even with a couple of negative people here, there are so many others who are positive. I haven't even had the surgery myself yet (I will in 2 1/2 weeks) and I came here whining and crying about my fear, my personal life drama and other whiney stuff and the people here were Godsends to me. Without everyone here I would have never decided to do this and I would be more miserable every day. We have to realize that there are always going to be people who get up on the wrong side of the bed and try to take it out on others. Like Lori and so many others said...just ignore the "Debbie Downers" and try to get the positivity out of what others have to offer. Sure, you might be sounding negative yourself right now, but that's pretty much what this forum is for...to be able to get our feelings out there and to get help where we can from others. I don't know you, but I hope you decide to stay. We need all the people we can get to support each other... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrty835 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 I Would be happy if everyone would stay put and not go anywhere and we could all help each other, like brothers and sisters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbird Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 I would go back and read the pinned topic "Plagued by Internet Trolls?" because that is what you were all dealing with. Some people are poison, but they are poison only if you ingest what they give out. I am arrogant enough that if someone says something mean, I wonder what their problem is, not mine! Why let an unpleasant person who is TRYING to upset you drive you away from good people and good information? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cckcsharp Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Thank you for all your support and comments. This forum has been great, but I will no longer be using it. The negativity really kind of takes control of the whole forum. I am very surprised by it. (Cedar and Kimmy in MD) I have read a few post's in the last half hour and very shocked by some of the comments and truly believe this is not the place for them. I thought this forum was for suppport and tips to help out. We are all here because we have a food addiction and like any addiction you can't just flip a switch and turn it off. Food has always been my crutch, and if it wasn't an addiction I would not have spent $8000 on the band. So thank you again, especially MamaMichelle, Evette (who hasn't been on in a while which I have noticed), Mona, Mom12, Kim2bslim & Lisal. You guys are wonderful and such an inspiration! If anyone wants to keep in touch, please feel free to email me anytime at soccersoto@sbcglobal.net. Take care all and good luck in your journey. Jacue, I don't think you and I have chatted a lot on this group, so I don't think that I am familiar to you. But I want to tell you from the bottom of my heart that you do belong here. I know that you have struggled with getting the weight off and I am so sorry if anyone caused you to feel hurt. But that is a one or a few people. The REST of the group wants you here and needs you here. You are not the only one who struggles to get the weight off and there are other people who are here to share that struggle with you. I have received a lot of support from people here on this group and I am very grateful. But even I too have received responses from time to time that seemed harsh or non sympathetic. I choose to ignore those posts and let them roll off, although it's not always easy. Because, for every negative person that has responded, at least 10 positive people have responded. Please don't let those few negative people push you away. There are many more who love having you here. My heart goes out to you for the struggles you are having as we have all been there and we know how it feels. Please reconsider and stay. You have alot to offer this group and we need you. Jessica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CaraMBA09 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 I would hate to think that any negativity would make people want to leave. Ickiness! For myself personally, I am ultra-sensitive about my weight anyways and have felt for the past few years (especially at work) that I am being outwardly judged for it at any given time. Don't leave! There are so many really neat and caring people on this site!! I have also had someone in the beginning of my posting attempt to "lecture" me about how things are done. sometimes everyone is an expert I hope you change your mind as those people who are actively on this journey (physically, emotionally and spiritually) are the people we really need here. All the best whatever you decide Cara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willi333 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Jacque, don't leave us !!!! YOU are a part of this wonderful and inspiring group of bandsters/future bandsters Unfortunately - in our life, we will always have to deal with people who are not on the same page or try to spread negativity. If we ignore those - we will be the winner at the end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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