DEPRESSED

[dantefishell]

Hi there, I'm kinda really depressed. I went back to OCC with my husband to get my 1st fill and my husband got banded on 8-14-08, and when I talked to Dr. Ortiz he asked how I was doing and I told him that I'm totally ready for my fill and that I'v only lost like 6-7 lbs. since my syguery and he totally ripped me a new one how I didn't follow his guide lines or I would have lost much more. I told him I had a problem with all the salt in the broths and I had a lot of up and down water weight with that and he told me that was all in my head, that I was not working with my band, that I totally screwed up and that I bacically failed the first 6 weeks.I know that I was eating less food,and maybe could have done better, but he told me not to depend on the fills,that it's also will power. If I had all that will power I wouldn't be over weight,I thought we needed the fill to make us tighter? Am I wrong, he just totally blew me away,and I still feel really upset!

Thanks for listening, Dante'

[Kimmy in MD]

Always such a hard topic but I would say listen to Dr. O, he is the expert. He is holding a mirror up for you and giving you tough love. Embrace it because it is probably the best advice you will get!!

It is ironic that when someone on the board says any of that stuff they get ignored, ridiculed and told to be nice, that the board is for support.

On a better note though, don't get depressed, just get busy losing the weight. Maybe go for a long walk, get your endorphins pumping in your brain and help get out of that depression.

Why don't you take the attitude of "I'll show you and lose 20 lbs before returning for your next fill?" Revenge is always so sweet!

Seriously though, cheer up.

[stormy]

Hi there, I'm kinda really depressed. I went back to OCC with my husband to get my 1st fill and my husband got banded on 8-14-08, and when I talked to Dr. Ortiz he asked how I was doing and I told him that I'm totally ready for my fill and that I'v only lost like 6-7 lbs. since my syguery and he totally ripped me a new one how I didn't follow his guide lines or I would have lost much more. I told him I had a problem with all the salt in the broths and I had a lot of up and down water weight with that and he told me that was all in my head, that I was not working with my band, that I totally screwed up and that I bacically failed the first 6 weeks.I know that I was eating less food,and maybe could have done better, but he told me not to depend on the fills,that it's also will power. If I had all that will power I wouldn't be over weight,I thought we needed the fill to make us tighter? Am I wrong, he just totally blew me away,and I still feel really upset!

Thanks for listening, Dante'

So did you follow his guidelines? I take it you didnt. I am sure he only was like that because he is concerned for your well being. I haven't got my band yet, and I hope he is not a rude person, cause I will have to tell him off, but if I dont follow the guidelines than I guess he can tell me off. From what I have red it is so important to follow all his recommendations.

[julieburns]

I am sorry you feel upset. Yes Dr. O is a tough love kinda person. His reputation is on the line when people don't lose like he thinks they should is sorta what he believes. He wants every patient to succeed. Just let this be a time for reflection and don't let it get you down. You are doing the best you can for yourself. No you havn't failed and you should know that. Chin up and use this to maybe drop kick you into a program that perhaps can give you better results.

[Alana]

wow, I'm a little surprised at that. I know they have to be realistic, but I would have thought there would be more compassion. I'm sorry he spoke that way to you, but DO NOT let it discourage you from succeeding. The fills are neccessary, the will power is neccessary and they will work hand in hand. Keep you chin up, ok?

[Clynn]

*Moderator's Note*

Saw this had been posted twice, so I merged them together so nobody's responses would get overlooked.

[cckcsharp]

I am sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. I know that these kinds of experiences can be difficult. But I can also say that if you really reflect on them, they may also be a blessing in disguise. I have found that sometimes when someone told me the cold hard truth, it hurt so bad at first and I was angry with that person. Then, I was later able to look back with gratitude for that person for being brave enough to tell me the truth when no one else would.

So hear is my question for you. Do you feel that you followed the guidelines, even say 99% of the time? I think we all do a little cheat here and there, but from what I have heard the post-op diet is soooo important to follow. What did he say you did wrong or could have done better? What could you have done differently? Please don't mistake these questions for sounding like I am accusing. I am honestly asking because many of us have not yet been banded and I am hoping to learn from your experience. I honestly want to know if you feel that you gave it your best effort and only lost a little or if you feel you could have done some things different. I guess I am confused at what Dr. O said about you not following the guidelines. What guidelines was he referring to? And was he right? Or do you feel like you did follow the guidelines and he is wrong? Just hoping to gain and learn from this experience.

[DaGreen]

Maybe it's something you needed to hear. This is not a quick fix without you doing your homework. I haven't been banded yet and am still wondering if I need to be. Have I TRULY given 100% to my last diet? Have I truly stuck to the calories, the portion sizes and the exercise program? Again, the band is a "tool" and it won't be a success unless you work at it.

[erin2796]

The impression I have of Dr. Ortiz is that he is a very laid back and cool guy. He is however VERY passionate about what he does and helping us all change our lives. I would take his tough love and like previously stated use it as motivation to suceed. I did not lose a lot of weight before my first fill but I know that I could have made healthier food choices and now that is what I'm trying to do. It is not easy and I laugh at those people that believe this surgery is the easy way out. This is just as difficult if not more because it is a lifestyle change, not a fad diet.

Good luck with you and just remember that tomorrow is a new day and keep positive and motivated.

[dantefishell]

Thanks to everybody,I know Dr. O is a great person,and maybe I didn't do the best I could have, and I did need to hear what he said because I want this soooooo bad.. And I have challanged my self to lose 15 lbs. b4 my next fill.

Thanks to all, Dante'

[erin2796]

Thanks to everybody,I know Dr. O is a great person,and maybe I didn't do the best I could have, and I did need to hear what he said because I want this soooooo bad.. And I have challanged my self to lose 15 lbs. b4 my next fill.

Thanks to all, Dante'

We can all do this together. I to did not make the best food choices. I watched how much I ate but not exactly what I ate. For example my day would consist of:

no breakfast or cereal

5 chicken nuggets from Mc Donalds or a supreme nacho from Taco Bell

whatever everyone else was eating in smaller quantities for dinner

The amounts were small so I did not gain weight but had I eaten foods with less fat I would have lost a lot more weight so I'm trying to make those healthier choices now.

I hope to lose at least 15 pounds by my next fill if not more also.

GOOD LUCK to us both!

Erin

[fat2nrml]

Hi there, I'm kinda really depressed. I went back to OCC with my husband to get my 1st fill and my husband got banded on 8-14-08, and when I talked to Dr. Ortiz he asked how I was doing and I told him that I'm totally ready for my fill and that I'v only lost like 6-7 lbs. since my syguery and he totally ripped me a new one how I didn't follow his guide lines or I would have lost much more. I told him I had a problem with all the salt in the broths and I had a lot of up and down water weight with that and he told me that was all in my head, that I was not working with my band, that I totally screwed up and that I bacically failed the first 6 weeks.I know that I was eating less food,and maybe could have done better, but he told me not to depend on the fills,that it's also will power. If I had all that will power I wouldn't be over weight,I thought we needed the fill to make us tighter? Am I wrong, he just totally blew me away,and I still feel really upset!

Thanks for listening, Dante'

I was told those first weeks after surgery were to heal, not to lose weight??? I was told by Dr. Miranda not to worry about weight loss then, it wasn't until after your fill that the real weight loss begins. Any weight loss after surgery\before fill was just gravy....Hmmmm

[1jmk]

Hi there, I'm kinda really depressed. I went back to OCC with my husband to get my 1st fill and my husband got banded on 8-14-08, and when I talked to Dr. Ortiz he asked how I was doing and I told him that I'm totally ready for my fill and that I'v only lost like 6-7 lbs. since my syguery and he totally ripped me a new one how I didn't follow his guide lines or I would have lost much more. I told him I had a problem with all the salt in the broths and I had a lot of up and down water weight with that and he told me that was all in my head, that I was not working with my band, that I totally screwed up and that I bacically failed the first 6 weeks.I know that I was eating less food,and maybe could have done better, but he told me not to depend on the fills,that it's also will power. If I had all that will power I wouldn't be over weight,I thought we needed the fill to make us tighter? Am I wrong, he just totally blew me away,and I still feel really upset!

Thanks for listening, Dante'

Hi there,

I, too, had problems losing weight on account of the salt in soups, so I really do know what it's like to try really, really hard to lose weight and not succeed. I think different people have different bodies, and if there's a grain of salt within miles of my food, I can almost guarantee that my weight loss will be seriously affected!

It sounds like you learned something about yourself, despite what Dr. O. said to you. It's hard to feel good about things when someone you admire is blunt with you. I had a father like that and there were many times I just felt awful when really all he was doing was trying to communicate with me -- HIS way. I think the only thing you can do is just lick your wounds and take from it what you can use and leave the rest. If you are as dedicated to losing weight as I have been, I know you're working hard at it. Keep learning and growing in the knowledge of what works and what doesn't with your new band. If you do that, I just know you can do it!!

Take care, Dante', and hang in there!

- (1jmk) Janet.

[Bowierocksme]

I am not where you are in this process, I am booked for the 27th of Aug with Dr.O. But I am curious what your motivation was to get the band. I know that I am at the point in my life where at 45 yrs of age and living with obesity since I hit puberty that this seems like it might be the answer for me to have a normal life. I know that there will be ups and downs and I am not expecting it to be easy but I could not look my Husband or my 3 Daughters in the eyes if I didn't give this opportunity my very best shot. They have suffered through my struggles with weight and my depression about it for many years and they are behind me on this adventure. My plan before going in is to do everything the Doctor says and if I have any problems or issues, believe me, I will be calling the clinic and posting on this forum.

KIM

[erin2796]

I went in with those same thoughts! I'm going to do everything the right way. And while I have REALLY been religious with the amount of food I have been eating it is hard to pass up on your favorites and hence my realization that healthier choices are the way to go and my new resolve to be healthy.

I cannot speak for Dante but I know what I did wrong, I am admiting to it, and am moving on and in the other direction now. I think that we are all human and everyone makes mistakes. I have given up smoking, nail biting, drinking, and diet coke in the last two months but Taco Bell is something that I am having a hard time getting past. I love Taco Bell and I LOVE NACHOS. I know though that if I can give up everything else I should be able to kick this food habit as long as I give it 110%.

My new diet will be as follows:

breakfast - protein bar ( I found one that I really Like it is Southbeach living crispy meal bar / chocolate peanut butter crunch)

lunch - boiled shrimp (I'm originally from New Orleans and I LOVE LOVE LOVE shrimp and the best part is shrimp is low in fat and high in protein)

dinner - Some type of protein and a salad

Wish me luck ya'll!

[dantefishell]

I am not where you are in this process, I am booked for the 27th of Aug with Dr.O. But I am curious what your motivation was to get the band. I know that I am at the point in my life where at 45 yrs of age and living with obesity since I hit puberty that this seems like it might be the answer for me to have a normal life. I know that there will be ups and downs and I am not expecting it to be easy but I could not look my Husband or my 3 Daughters in the eyes if I didn't give this opportunity my very best shot. They have suffered through my struggles with weight and my depression about it for many years and they are behind me on this adventure. My plan before going in is to do everything the Doctor says and if I have any problems or issues, believe me, I will be calling the clinic and posting on this forum.

KIM

Hi there my motivation was 1st my kids, I want to go on rides with them, I want to not worry if I'll fit in a chair,I want to be able to sit on the floor with my daughters Brownie troop, and I want to live longer then my mom, we both have type 1 diabetes,it took her at 61 and my Dr. said if I don't get this weight off I may not live that long, and Damn it I want to be SKINNY 4 once in my life!

Good luck to all, Dante'

[Bowierocksme]

I can totally relate to the Brownie thing. I was a Fat Brown Owl when I was a Leader for my girls and it sucked. Brownies was fun but it sucked to be fat and to try to keep up with everybody. I hate to look at the pictures now of me handing out awards and leading the kids in a song etc. Those memories should of been awesome to look and and enjoy......I don't want to sound sorry for myself, kinda sounds pitiful. I sometimes wonder about the things I would have done if I had of been thin, maybe a whole lot more.

Keep you chin up, sometimes a low like you felt after the chat with Dr. O is just the thing to light a fire. I remember being told about 7 years ago that because I was so overweight and had taken anti-depressants in the past that my insurance premiums for a policy would be double the norm...I was so upset that I went on a powerbar and salad diet and lost 55 lbs....of course when I ran out of steam it all came back on.

Go for it!!!!

KIM

[jena]

Here's my take on what Dr. O said. He's the expert on this. He's seen thousands of patients that he banded. His office keeps up with everyone and he has statistics on his patients. He's continuously examining what works best, what works and what doesn't work.

He said what he said with love. Trust me. He also said what he said because unlike all of us, he has the statistics to back him up. He only wants for you what he wants from all of us - SUCCESS!

Now, our job here is to comfort you when you fall, share our successes AND our not-so-successes.

I've just had my second fill and I must say it was very aggressive. I know what the "sweet spot" is. (For the time being) I absolutely CANNOT overeat (as long as I stay away from soft foods). I CANNOT drink while I eat.

I've experienced the pain of food passing through my band that was not chewed well enough. I've experienced the panic when I've eaten too much too fast. The food has no where to go but up. I've experienced water coming right back up when there is still food in my pouch. I've experienced "getting stuck" and it ain't fun!

All of this in the last 4 days!!

Dr. Ortiz is right, until you get to where my band is now, it does take willpower to stick to the guidelines. Learn it now or learn it later, it's much easier to learn it BEFORE hitting the sweet spot.