I think I'm going to die

[MimIN]

Here it is, today marks 1 week until surgery. I faxed in a a copy of the certified check today and after I hit send I thought to myself "What the h#ll am I doing!?!" All my savings... POOF gone, for what?? So then I go into panic mode, call my boyfriend who tells me to make up my d*mn mind and decide what I want. I know this is what I want but the lengths I have taken to get here are unreal. I have fibbed to my boss about why I will be gone and I haven't told my lead anything. I am afraid the timing is bad as the company I am contracted out with is hiring in all the IT teams including mine and if I'm not here and they decide to interview us... I could come back to some helpdesk person sitting in my seat b/c I wasn't here to defend my territory! It is to late to cancel surgery and I already almost had to reschedule due to some work crap but I made it through that. I am incredibly stressed right now and all I want to do is curl up on the couch with my bud's Ben and Jerry and wish it all away But I can't even do that!

Anyone else go through anything similar before surgery?

Miriam

[Littleroo27]

(((BIG HUG)))

Take deep breaths!!! You are acting just like I did the day I finally decided which college I was going to. It's a life changing decision and even after you make up your mind, you're still scared it was the wrong choice.

Just keep reminding yourself why you are doing it. Make an affirmation list of all the things that can be improved because of this surgery and why you wanted to do it in the first place.

Yes, it is a lot of money. I am 26 and live paycheck to paycheck, yet somehow I'm supposed to pay off a $10,000 loan??? It's insane - I wouldn't even do that for a car!

But this is worth so much more then that. You are worth $10,000, your health is worth it and your future is worth it.

Here it is, today marks 1 week until surgery. I faxed in a a copy of the certified check today and after I hit send I thought to myself "What the h#ll am I doing!?!" All my savings... POOF gone, for what?? So then I go into panic mode, call my boyfriend who tells me to make up my d*mn mind and decide what I want. I know this is what I want but the lengths I have taken to get here are unreal. I have fibbed to my boss about why I will be gone and I haven't told my lead anything. I am afraid the timing is bad as the company I am contracted out with is hiring in all the IT teams including mine and if I'm not here and they decide to interview us... I could come back to some helpdesk person sitting in my seat b/c I wasn't here to defend my territory! It is to late to cancel surgery and I already almost had to reschedule due to some work crap but I made it through that. I am incredibly stressed right now and all I want to do is curl up on the couch with my bud's Ben and Jerry and wish it all away But I can't even do that!

Anyone else go through anything similar before surgery?

Miriam

[ClaireinCO]

I know just how you feel! I had to tell a million stories to friends and family and work. It was an intricate web and I felt horrible. In retrospect, I am totally entitled to my privacy and it is none of anyones business! I didn't even use savings, I put it on a credit card! So good for you for using what you've got. I think it is a good investment. I think of all the stupid things I've tried -- gym memberships, supplements, Weight Watchers...it surely is into thousands of dollars I've spent. This is realtively small amount of money to spend for health.

I told my work I was taking personal days. I told my family I was driving to New Mexico for a 'romantic getaway'. (If they knew I was flying to San Diego, for so few days, they would've been ALL up in my business). Then I told the people watching my dog that I was in fact, going to San Diego, for work, in case anything happened. When I was sitting on the plane, about to take off and embark on this surgery IN TIJUANA, I was just so overwhlemed by wanting to tell people. Luckily my husband was there to remind me how obnoxious my family can be and I held off.

I know it is a big step. But you (and all of us) DESERVE to feel comfortable in our own bodies again! Yes, it may take some 'creative storytelling' and some money, and some courage...but we are worth it! YOU are worth it!

If you know in your heart that this is the right thing, as I did, then go for it. Yes, there will always be roadblocks and risks. But we have to try and do what we think is best.

We are here for you!

[Bella]

I know just how you feel! I had to tell a million stories to friends and family and work. It was an intricate web and I felt horrible. In retrospect, I am totally entitled to my privacy and it is none of anyones business! I didn't even use savings, I put it on a credit card! So good for you for using what you've got. I think it is a good investment. I think of all the stupid things I've tried -- gym memberships, supplements, Weight Watchers...it surely is into thousands of dollars I've spent. This is realtively small amount of money to spend for health.

I told my work I was taking personal days. I told my family I was driving to New Mexico for a 'romantic getaway'. (If they knew I was flying to San Diego, for so few days, they would've been ALL up in my business). Then I told the people watching my dog that I was in fact, going to San Diego, for work, in case anything happened. When I was sitting on the plane, about to take off and embark on this surgery IN TIJUANA, I was just so overwhlemed by wanting to tell people. Luckily my husband was there to remind me how obnoxious my family can be and I held off.

I know it is a big step. But you (and all of us) DESERVE to feel comfortable in our own bodies again! Yes, it may take some 'creative storytelling' and some money, and some courage...but we are worth it! YOU are worth it!

If you know in your heart that this is the right thing, as I did, then go for it. Yes, there will always be roadblocks and risks. But we have to try and do what we think is best.

We are here for you!

Gosh,

I'm so glad to hear you were able to keep your secret!!!!!!

I plan on doing the same thing as I know people in my life (even work) will absolutely flip out! I would NEVER hear the end of it.

I am taking sick leave so I have to inform HR but they can't legally tell anyone.

I have 1 friend who went through it two years ago but she got the DS - so I will share my thoughts with her - as I'm keeping her secret as well.

[Littleroo27]

I went completely the other route (but I'm terrible at keeping secrets!!!) and have openly told everyone that I am planning on getting this done. Everyone at my 2nd job knew that's why I was there (too bad it only lasted 2 months before exhaustion kicked in).

The one thing I'm NOT telling most people is where I'm getting it done. Cuz, I just don't want to go there. I'm telling the truth that my insurance won't cover it so I have to work very very hard to find the money and I'm planning on next March. But they don't need to know I'm going south of the border instead of up to La Jolla :-D

Gosh,

I'm so glad to hear you were able to keep your secret!!!!!!

I plan on doing the same thing as I know people in my life (even work) will absolutely flip out! I would NEVER hear the end of it.

I am taking sick leave so I have to inform HR but they can't legally tell anyone.

I have 1 friend who went through it two years ago but she got the DS - so I will share my thoughts with her - as I'm keeping her secret as well.

[LoriBecky]

Hi Mimi,

Yes!! I went through the same thing before my surgery, and I didn't find this forum until after surgery. And since I hadn't told anyone but my husband about it (and he was getting tired of my what if scenarios!) I was kinda on my own.

This forum is so great (I know I work here... but I really believe that!) everyone is so giving with their support and encouragement.

Mimi, it really will be OK. I know the stress level gets up there just before surgery, I didn't sleep much in the days leading up to mine. But I haven't regretted my decision once! I would do it again in a heartbeat!

[MimIN]

Today is a better day. THanks everyone for your supportive replies; I know I'm just being stupid. I do know this is what is right for me. After going home I had a long talk with my boyfriend, we decided money doesn't mean anything if your not happy and I'm not happy so no matter what happens with job etc this is the right move for me. I am fortunate to have him as my voice of reason.

I am still nervous but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't. I always think the sky is falling, lol.

[Linda23585]

You are not being stupid, you are being "normal". Having second thoughts about any big decision is reasonable!

I did have to laugh about the lies you told as to your absence from work.....This is a true story....I live in rural Minnesota and work at a hospital. When I was in the Tampa airport waiting for a flight, I met a gal from work who took vacation time so she and her husband could go to Florida. Anyway, that's what she told us at work. However, the man she was with on the flight to Jamaica was NOT her husband. My girlfriend was her neighbor - small world. (She had told her husband that she had a meeting for work in Florida.) To this day, I am unable to look her in the eye...perhaps because she turns her head whenever she sees me.

Hope you don't meet anyone you know in Tijuana or at Dr. Ortiz's office!!!

Linda

[Pegala]

You are not being stupid, you are being "normal". Having second thoughts about any big decision is reasonable!

I did have to laugh about the lies you told as to your absence from work.....This is a true story....I live in rural Minnesota and work at a hospital. When I was in the Tampa airport waiting for a flight, I met a gal from work who took vacation time so she and her husband could go to Florida. Anyway, that's what she told us at work. However, the man she was with on the flight to Jamaica was NOT her husband. My girlfriend was her neighbor - small world. (She had told her husband that she had a meeting for work in Florida.) To this day, I am unable to look her in the eye...perhaps because she turns her head whenever she sees me.

Hope you don't meet anyone you know in Tijuana or at Dr. Ortiz's office!!!

Linda

\

My surgery is scheduled for the 28th and I held off till the last moment to get my check ... I was nervous about making the plane reservations but knew I COULD cancel them if I wanted to , but knew the die was cast once the certified check was written....

Now I am on my preop diet...

Once I had made the decision to forge ahead and have the surgey and booked my date I told 2 people at work.. one who is a close friend and later a person who was banded 2 years ago..

I didn't really want to tell her( wasn't sure she would keep my secret till I was ready to tell people) but needed lots of questions answered.

Yesterday I finally broke down and told a few more of my co workers.. Some are happy for me some aren't ... but it is relly MY decision and that's the final word on it..

I am getting anxiously nervous, not about the surgery itself but about the long journey afterwards...

WHen people ask me where I am having hte surgery I tell them....I find it very difficult to lie or make up stories cuz I can't remember what I said next time someone asks me again.

So I am now on my countdown 5 days and a wake up till I get on the plane ..

Peggy

[CalKev]

Here it is, today marks 1 week until surgery. I faxed in a a copy of the certified check today and after I hit send I thought to myself "What the h#ll am I doing!?!" All my savings... POOF gone, for what?? So then I go into panic mode, call my boyfriend who tells me to make up my d*mn mind and decide what I want. I know this is what I want but the lengths I have taken to get here are unreal. I have fibbed to my boss about why I will be gone and I haven't told my lead anything. I am afraid the timing is bad as the company I am contracted out with is hiring in all the IT teams including mine and if I'm not here and they decide to interview us... I could come back to some helpdesk person sitting in my seat b/c I wasn't here to defend my territory! It is to late to cancel surgery and I already almost had to reschedule due to some work crap but I made it through that. I am incredibly stressed right now and all I want to do is curl up on the couch with my bud's Ben and Jerry and wish it all away But I can't even do that!

Anyone else go through anything similar before surgery?

Miriam

Mimi,

I can understand and identify with how you are feeling. In three and a half weeks I will be joining you on the quest for a healthier life. You are not alone in feeling the preoperative anxiety. My belief is all of us who make this step are ultimately increasing our lifespan as well as giving ourselves a gift many others would love to be able to do but are powerless to participate in the process for many of the reasons you are feeling. What we are doing is empowering ourselves and what others may think is in reality of no consequence. You would not have come this far if you were not committed to follow-through. I am not just talking to you when I say this but to myself also.

My best friend is a person I trust completely and his mother had the Gastric-Bypass done in Georgia here in the U.S.. Like a couple other forum members I have told many what my plans are for surgery in Mexico as well as a description of the Lapband procedure. This has been an ongoing discussion between he and I a couple weeks back he put me on the phone with his mom so I could ask her questions concerning her procedure. This was before I had let the cat out of the bag about my own plans. Well last week I gave him a call and filled him in. He freaked out a bit.

[CalKev]

\

My surgery is scheduled for the 28th and I held off till the last moment to get my check ... I was nervous about making the plane reservations but knew I COULD cancel them if I wanted to , but knew the die was cast once the certified check was written....

Now I am on my preop diet...

Once I had made the decision to forge ahead and have the surgey and booked my date I told 2 people at work.. one who is a close friend and later a person who was banded 2 years ago..

I didn't really want to tell her( wasn't sure she would keep my secret till I was ready to tell people) but needed lots of questions answered.

Yesterday I finally broke down and told a few more of my co workers.. Some are happy for me some aren't ... but it is relly MY decision and that's the final word on it..

I am getting anxiously nervous, not about the surgery itself but about the long journey afterwards...

WHen people ask me where I am having hte surgery I tell them....I find it very difficult to lie or make up stories cuz I can't remember what I said next time someone asks me again.

So I am now on my countdown 5 days and a wake up till I get on the plane ..

Peggy

Pegala - When I talk about my upcoming surgery (October 16) to others I just reflect back on Dr. Ortiz's C.V.. My mother and I sat down and went through his credentials as well as his experience with the procedure and I am hard pressed to find anyone in the U.S. that comes close to the expertise he has in this specific procedure. Many U.S. surgeons are doing the GB but don't have even a tenth of the hands on time Dr. Ortiz has with the lapband procedure. 4 of 5 the Physicians I spoke to here in the states said "Do it" and their reasoning was primarily the level Dr. Ortiz

[Pegala]

Pegala - When I talk about my upcoming surgery (October 16) to others I just reflect back on Dr. Ortiz's C.V.. My mother and I sat down and went through his credentials as well as his experience with the procedure and I am hard pressed to find anyone in the U.S. that comes close to the expertise he has in this specific procedure. Many U.S. surgeons are doing the GB but don't have even a tenth of the hands on time Dr. Ortiz has with the lapband procedure. 4 of 5 the Physicians I spoke to here in the states said "Do it" and their reasoning was primarily the level Dr. Ortiz

[Cheryl Kilcollins]

KEv,. Thanks for the encouragement ,

I am fully comfortable with Dr Ortiz, I too have read and researched his work..One person I work with was banded here in Fl by a Dr was was taught by Dr Grossbard who was banded and taught by Dr Ortiz...

that pretty much made her stop and think when she questioned Mexico and Dr Ortiz..I getting the instructor , she had the pupil twice removed!!!

I am one of those people who cannot keep a secret..so I have told most of the nurses I work with.. there are 7 of us ,,and a few others and MOST people have been encouraging...

some ,bless their hearts ,say I don't need the surgery.. I love them the most lol...but I also think they must need glasses.Some others are just concerned for me. I did promise I would call them post op and let them know I am still alive..

I am going to Mexico alone so that is another concern for them..

All my other trips to Mexico were also alone but that was for vacation to visit friends who live in Mexico , unfortunately not near TJ..

thanks again, Pegala

I am going through similar feelings. One minute I am strong and confident, and the next minute, it's fetal position on the couch! My surgery is scheduled for Oct.9th so this is my last week on real food for awhile. How can I abandon my life long friend? the one who has stood by me through thick and thin? I look at all of the bottles of medicine I am on, that's how! Iam so tired of being tired! My health is in the toilet, my joints are sore and besides that, when I lay on the beach, they keep trying to roll me in the water? why is that? I had to take a 2nd out on my house to pay for this. I feel that this is the best thing for me, but then again, I am stepping WAY out of comfort food, oops, I mean zone! I have told everyone I know, except my mother, but that is a whole other story. I hope that this forum is helping you as much as it is helping me. I love knowing that other people are feeling the way I do, and just knowing I am going in with my eyes wide open! Best of luck and please keep us posted! YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION!

[cyndiwilson]

I am going through similar feelings. One minute I am strong and confident, and the next minute, it's fetal position on the couch! My surgery is scheduled for Oct.9th so this is my last week on real food for awhile. How can I abandon my life long friend? the one who has stood by me through thick and thin? I look at all of the bottles of medicine I am on, that's how! Iam so tired of being tired! My health is in the toilet, my joints are sore and besides that, when I lay on the beach, they keep trying to roll me in the water? why is that? I had to take a 2nd out on my house to pay for this. I feel that this is the best thing for me, but then again, I am stepping WAY out of comfort food, oops, I mean zone! I have told everyone I know, except my mother, but that is a whole other story. I hope that this forum is helping you as much as it is helping me. I love knowing that other people are feeling the way I do, and just knowing I am going in with my eyes wide open! Best of luck and please keep us posted! YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION!

Cheryl ,

the best too you with your surgery - I will be coming in on Monday also but my surgery is on the 10th maybe I will see you----I will be traveling with a friend but we are only coming in from AZ

[MimIN]

I didn't die:) However I am here in Tijuana at the hotel with time ticking by and I'm nervous, but it is an exciting nervousness. I was suppose to have pre-op today but apparently that was changed last minute and we were brought directly to the hotel. Hotel is modest but nice and all the staff are great. The change in plans gave me a chance to heat to Revolution street and do some shopping. So far so good, I've had a ball bartering prices for stuff I totally don't need and even found a dentistry place that does flash tooth whitening for $50! that is 1/10th the cost it is back home so my friend and I are heading back to Revolution street Thursday:)

[ClaireinCO]

Don't worry for one second! I wasted SO much energy wringing my hands and sweating the day of surgery. But it was for nothing. You will meet the other people getting surgery which is really cool and comforting. All of the staff are really warm and friendly. I flat out said "i'm so nervous and scared" to every person there and they all just smiled and said "we will take good care of you!". They are pros. They are so good at what they do. You will be totally at ease! The overnight stay is really nice and relaxing. I was really apprehensive about being "alone". But you are never alone. There are other patients to chat with and do some walking. And the nurse is there all night with you if you need anything.

Give us an update when you're up to it!