mental battleground

[ackovach]

There is a topic open right now about "thinking thin". I really believe in this can help get me to where I need to be. BUT what do you do when a skinny person unknowingly makes you look at reality?? How do we overcome this and not fall into old habits of sabotage?

I have been thinking skinny and feel so good about myself right now. I have several positive things happening:

Today I am wearing my fat skirt that I was previously too fat for.

Scales are going

hired a personal trainer

counting calories and using the daily plate

all of my clothes are getting longer, yes I did mean longer

My waist went from 38 to 36

In my mind, I am doing wonderful.... look at me.... can't you see????????

Here comes skinny person and wants to take my blood pressure. She says " I can't use the normal cuff, your arms are too big". My heart sinks and I want to cry right there on the spot. I see that I am living in my own skinny world by myself..... ouch. At least my blood pressure was 116/74 and I had lost 19 pounds since last time visiting that Dr. office.

I really can not wait until that skinny girl just puts the skinny cuff on my arm without hesitation......

She meant no harm to me and was clueless about my state of mind. She was just being practical.

I am keeping my head up high and keep thinking..... won't be long til I can wear that size 12. Would a size 12 mean a skinny BP cuff too?

Amy

[nothereanymore]

What's really amazing is how differently you are treated as a thin person than as a fat one. I wrote this on one of my blogs:

“OK, lets be real here and it's not pretty. I was a big person, fine deal with it. I'm now a much smaller person, (if you didn't like me as a big person, why would you like me better as a small person) and I'm noticing a change in how people treat me and I'm not liking it as much as I should...... I went from a size 22 to a size 6 (pants only, tops I'm bigger which isn't too bad...) ((I'm a size 4 now in most pants, with my new size D tops, not so much - size 8 or 10, but I'm perfectly fine with that)

Why do you think people are nicer to smaller people than big people? I'm not sure, but I can tell you doors are opened for me more than before, waiters are nicer, sales girls are much more helpful, it's amazing. If I had knowledge of the difference in how people would treat me I would have done this a long time ago. (OK I tried and failed – but I may have tried harder)

Here's the kicker, I was out in my yard working on my flowers, (yes I'm one of those – I love my yard to be perfect and the best in the neighborhood) and a lady I know walk by, she said "oh my goodness, I never knew how pretty you are, you're beautiful"! And my husband looked at my face, he knows I think I'm pretty if I'm 300 or 150 pounds and he does too, (he better) She said why would someone like me ever get to that point and aren't I happy to be thin and beautiful again. She's older, I held myself back, and thanked her for the compliment... I am beautiful, no matter what I weigh, however I wasn't healthy when I was obese, but I was still beautiful. (I really always thought I was pretty no matter what I weighed and it did hurt to have someone who was trying to pay me a compliment thinks I wasn't...) But I digress, in the USA a very large part of our population is large, and we are getting larger. We should lose weight if it affects our health in a negative way, and let's be honest, its killing many of us. However, let's not treat people any different whether they are thin or big, they are all beautiful and let’s love and support us all!”

I started my journey by thinking myself as thin, and it really did help. I dressed thin, changed my hair - bought a smaller car and totally changed who I was. I can’t help how people think of me, good or bad, but I think all people are beautiful, big or little – there’s always something so special and unique to each of us that makes us stand out – we just have to be looking for it to see it.

[marek]

There is a topic open right now about "thinking thin". I really believe in this can help get me to where I need to be. BUT what do you do when a skinny person unknowingly makes you look at reality?? How do we overcome this and not fall into old habits of sabotage?

I have been thinking skinny and feel so good about myself right now. I have several positive things happening:

Today I am wearing my fat skirt that I was previously too fat for.

Scales are going

hired a personal trainer

counting calories and using the daily plate

all of my clothes are getting longer, yes I did mean longer

My waist went from 38 to 36

In my mind, I am doing wonderful.... look at me.... can't you see????????

Here comes skinny person and wants to take my blood pressure. She says " I can't use the normal cuff, your arms are too big". My heart sinks and I want to cry right there on the spot. I see that I am living in my own skinny world by myself..... ouch. At least my blood pressure was 116/74 and I had lost 19 pounds since last time visiting that Dr. office.

I really can not wait until that skinny girl just puts the skinny cuff on my arm without hesitation......

She meant no harm to me and was clueless about my state of mind. She was just being practical.

I am keeping my head up high and keep thinking..... won't be long til I can wear that size 12. Would a size 12 mean a skinny BP cuff too?

Amy

[Willi333]

What's really amazing is how differently you are treated as a thin person than as a fat one. I wrote this on one of my blogs:

“OK, lets be real here and it's not pretty. I was a big person, fine deal with it. I'm now a much smaller person, (if you didn't like me as a big person, why would you like me better as a small person) and I'm noticing a change in how people treat me and I'm not liking it as much as I should...... I went from a size 22 to a size 6 (pants only, tops I'm bigger which isn't too bad...) ((I'm a size 4 now in most pants, with my new size D tops, not so much - size 8 or 10, but I'm perfectly fine with that)

Why do you think people are nicer to smaller people than big people? I'm not sure, but I can tell you doors are opened for me more than before, waiters are nicer, sales girls are much more helpful, it's amazing. If I had knowledge of the difference in how people would treat me I would have done this a long time ago. (OK I tried and failed – but I may have tried harder)

Here's the kicker, I was out in my yard working on my flowers, (yes I'm one of those – I love my yard to be perfect and the best in the neighborhood) and a lady I know walk by, she said "oh my goodness, I never knew how pretty you are, you're beautiful"! And my husband looked at my face, he knows I think I'm pretty if I'm 300 or 150 pounds and he does too, (he better) She said why would someone like me ever get to that point and aren't I happy to be thin and beautiful again. She's older, I held myself back, and thanked her for the compliment... I am beautiful, no matter what I weigh, however I wasn't healthy when I was obese, but I was still beautiful. (I really always thought I was pretty no matter what I weighed and it did hurt to have someone who was trying to pay me a compliment thinks I wasn't...) But I digress, in the USA a very large part of our population is large, and we are getting larger. We should lose weight if it affects our health in a negative way, and let's be honest, its killing many of us. However, let's not treat people any different whether they are thin or big, they are all beautiful and let’s love and support us all!”

I started my journey by thinking myself as thin, and it really did help. I dressed thin, changed my hair - bought a smaller car and totally changed who I was. I can’t help how people think of me, good or bad, but I think all people are beautiful, big or little – there’s always something so special and unique to each of us that makes us stand out – we just have to be looking for it to see it.

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> Lisa =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

[ackovach]

Lisa,

Wonderful words. You are sweet, intelligent, beautiful and happy. And very much one of my inspirations. When I hit my goal, I am getting my whole body lifted and putting my bikini on and working in garden in the front yard!!!

Many skinny people think fat people are lazy. It does hurt our opportunities in life. I think it is terribly unfair. Not everyone can get the band or figure a way out.

in regards to your elderly neighbor, isn't amazing that any person could say something like to you in a compliment? When I was in my 20s and weighing close to 140, my favorite aunt said, "My what a big girl you are". I was devastated. I also had an uncle and boyfriend say similar things to me around the same time. I have always been well endowed up top. Maybe that is what they meant. But as a young person, using the words "big girl" to describe me was horrible and embarrassing. Self-image obliterated at 27...

I beat myself up all the time about how I let other peoples words send me into "the land of sabotage". I still have this tendency that I will fight for the rest of my life. If I had realized this in my 20s, I would have never gotten over the 155 pound mark. I don't fully understand what makes me work that way, but just hope I can cope with it.

Amy

[bigali]

Lisa, you are so right. When I started this journey I was 267 and nobody ever paid me a compliment or even looked twice at what I was wearing. But only my husband. He always made sure to tell me how beautiful I looked, even I knew I didn't. I would always tell my family " I am beautiful just fat". Now that I have lost 53 pounds everybody looks at me and tells me that I look really nice. It feels good but I tell myself "why didn't you notice before". I went to a family party and my husband aunt saw me having a piece of cake and she told me that I better put it down before I gain all my weight back. I couldn't believe it. By the way nobody knows that I got the surgery so they just wonder how i did it. Well I just wanted to share a little about the difference I have noticed with people and how they treat me.

Alexandra

[momonamission]

We all know people that are beautiful on the outside. So what? I know almost as many who are ugly on the inside. You have to love yourself and others. Even though I am still overweight I still have value. I am still a person of worth no matter what size I am. I have lost 30 pounds so of course my confidence it up. But my neighbor said something really sweet to me. She is a skinny lady pretty on inside and outside. She said "Dawn your looking great, but do not go changing who you are too much. I always thought you were amazing just the way you are." That made me feel great. I guess what I am trying to say is before you go working on the outside ...there might need to be some work done on the inside. It's all a battle. Just continue to love yourself when the people that are ugly on the inside don't. There will always be haters.

[cckcsharp]

There is a topic open right now about "thinking thin". I really believe in this can help get me to where I need to be. BUT what do you do when a skinny person unknowingly makes you look at reality?? How do we overcome this and not fall into old habits of sabotage?

I have been thinking skinny and feel so good about myself right now. I have several positive things happening:

Today I am wearing my fat skirt that I was previously too fat for.

Scales are going

hired a personal trainer

counting calories and using the daily plate

all of my clothes are getting longer, yes I did mean longer

My waist went from 38 to 36

In my mind, I am doing wonderful.... look at me.... can't you see????????

Here comes skinny person and wants to take my blood pressure. She says " I can't use the normal cuff, your arms are too big". My heart sinks and I want to cry right there on the spot. I see that I am living in my own skinny world by myself..... ouch. At least my blood pressure was 116/74 and I had lost 19 pounds since last time visiting that Dr. office.

I really can not wait until that skinny girl just puts the skinny cuff on my arm without hesitation......

She meant no harm to me and was clueless about my state of mind. She was just being practical.

I am keeping my head up high and keep thinking..... won't be long til I can wear that size 12. Would a size 12 mean a skinny BP cuff too?

Amy

Amy, While I understand that she wasn't intentional trying to hurt you, I think her comment was tactless and insensitive. I actually gasped when I read your post because I was surprised that someone would say it the way she did. Don't let her get you down. You should keep feeling like you are in skinny land. You are dong so good and making such progress. I look at people like you and think, MAN I wish I was where she is right now. I have so much farther to go that I envy you. So just keep that in mind. You are close enough to skinny that there are overweight people out there who are jealous of you. I know I am. You look fabulous.

[ackovach]

Big smile to all of you. You have such big hearts. Thank you for all of your words of encouragement and sharing your experiences.

Amy

[mona-camille]

There is a topic open right now about "thinking thin". I really believe in this can help get me to where I need to be. BUT what do you do when a skinny person unknowingly makes you look at reality?? How do we overcome this and not fall into old habits of sabotage?

I have been thinking skinny and feel so good about myself right now. I have several positive things happening:

Today I am wearing my fat skirt that I was previously too fat for.

Scales are going

hired a personal trainer

counting calories and using the daily plate

all of my clothes are getting longer, yes I did mean longer

My waist went from 38 to 36

In my mind, I am doing wonderful.... look at me.... can't you see????????

Here comes skinny person and wants to take my blood pressure. She says " I can't use the normal cuff, your arms are too big". My heart sinks and I want to cry right there on the spot. I see that I am living in my own skinny world by myself..... ouch. At least my blood pressure was 116/74 and I had lost 19 pounds since last time visiting that Dr. office.

I really can not wait until that skinny girl just puts the skinny cuff on my arm without hesitation......

She meant no harm to me and was clueless about my state of mind. She was just being practical.

I am keeping my head up high and keep thinking..... won't be long til I can wear that size 12. Would a size 12 mean a skinny BP cuff too?

Amy

The thinking thing part of you could have said "Yeah, but not for long"!

I am trying very very hard to think thin and to be more positive in ALL areas of my life and am pretty good at turning things around to be more positive whenever I can. I swear, this kooky book did a world of wonders for me!

The Law of Attraction, get it, read it, and soar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm trying and so far my scale went down 2 pounds FINALLY and my stomach shrunk several inches too!

Oh yeah some pointers the book mentioned also, look at skinny people and admire them. Tell yourself that you will look like that very soon. You WILL be thin, you are losing weight every single day! You CAN eat that cookie and not gain weight. It really is a great book, just kind of kooky but it is still alright.

Hey look, it can't hurt, right?

[doinitagann]

I am so glad this topic came up. My whole life I thought of myself as everyone else thought of me. Fat. the funny thing was, I was not always fat. I come from a family whose men like their women very thin, like twiggy or kate moss thin. When I was in that very awkward age of about 10 or 12, I had some extral pudge on my body. My brother was kind enought to make fun of me day in day out. He even made a song,(now spell it out with me) H-E-I-D-I is a P-I-G-G-Y. He loved to show off his composing abilities to all who would listen. Most would laugh. It was devastating to think that that is all that people saw. As I look back on pictures of the summer that this all began, I see that I was really not all that big. I was 85 pounds. I think this is one of those times that I get mad at others because if no one would have made fun of me, I most likely would have grown out of the pudgy when I hit puberty. Instead, I believed I was fat so I was fat.

Moral of the story is, kids are so easily effected by comments, good or bad. THese horrible comments can shape their future and since we are what we think we are, we will, in turn, become just that.

My brother has since apologized profusely. He went into psychology in college and realized what his antics really cost me-my self worth. I would love to find the self confidence and self worth before I lose weight so that I can be sure that I really like who I am on the inside.

My husband and I are going thru a very rough patch right now mostly due to my weight. (we married 9.5 years ago when I was 135) this is no help to the whole self esteem issue but I am working on it. Thanks for your posts. We all have a story to tell on how we are judged and treated as an overweight person. Trying to tell a skinny person, ie: my husband, what it is like is like trying to explain the theory of relativity to a 2 year old. thanks for listening and I look forward to being able to be there for someone one day as well.

[momonamission]

I am so glad this topic came up. My whole life I thought of myself as everyone else thought of me. Fat. the funny thing was, I was not always fat. I come from a family whose men like their women very thin, like twiggy or kate moss thin. When I was in that very awkward age of about 10 or 12, I had some extral pudge on my body. My brother was kind enought to make fun of me day in day out. He even made a song,(now spell it out with me) H-E-I-D-I is a P-I-G-G-Y. He loved to show off his composing abilities to all who would listen. Most would laugh. It was devastating to think that that is all that people saw. As I look back on pictures of the summer that this all began, I see that I was really not all that big. I was 85 pounds. I think this is one of those times that I get mad at others because if no one would have made fun of me, I most likely would have grown out of the pudgy when I hit puberty. Instead, I believed I was fat so I was fat.

Moral of the story is, kids are so easily effected by comments, good or bad. THese horrible comments can shape their future and since we are what we think we are, we will, in turn, become just that.

My brother has since apologized profusely. He went into psychology in college and realized what his antics really cost me-my self worth. I would love to find the self confidence and self worth before I lose weight so that I can be sure that I really like who I am on the inside.

My husband and I are going thru a very rough patch right now mostly due to my weight. (we married 9.5 years ago when I was 135) this is no help to the whole self esteem issue but I am working on it. Thanks for your posts. We all have a story to tell on how we are judged and treated as an overweight person. Trying to tell a skinny person, ie: my husband, what it is like is like trying to explain the theory of relativity to a 2 year old. thanks for listening and I look forward to being able to be there for someone one day as well.

Just remember you have to love yourself and find value in yourself, before he will.

[HopefulFuture]

I have to say I was treated bad both thin and heavy. My weight was 140 when I got married..( I just lost 15lbs ) the day before my wedding my mother in law said " You look good but you could lose alittle more!" I was devastated. I held my head high and felt beautiful.

Through out the years I have gone up to 192 and down to 132. People email me diets thinking they are helping but all it really does it makes me more depressed. Heavy or small people can be cruel. I just can handle the abuse better when I am thinner. Can't wait to see my mother in laws face the next time she sees me. I'll be emailing her a diet!! LOL

[Kittycat]

How true are your words. I have been overweight most of my life, since I was 14 years old. I started high school at 150 lbs...soon realized that I was my BFF's chubby friend. Not fun! I went on a crash diet, even fainted at one point to lose 50 lbs. I did it, got down to 100 lbs and was able to wear skinny jeans, a bikini and if I do say so myself, I was hot! My BFF had a boyfriend, his BFF didn't give me a second look while I was chubby, but when I was thin, he couldn't do enough to get me to go out with him. I cornered him one night at a party and told him off. I am the same wonderful person now that I was 50 lbs ago and I wouldn't go out with him, if he was the last assh*le on earth!!

I have spent my entire life being told my everyone, including my own Mother that "you have such a pretty face, if only you would lose some weight". I am sure at least 50% of you have heard this same comment as well. I consider myself very attractive, at 285, 250 or 235. I keep myself well, I take care of my looks, I dress nicely. I look good, then and now. My friends loved me then and will love me a year from now when I am 1/2 the person I used to be. If they don't, they're not a friend.

I have always loved myself and had great self esteem, which is a real plus now that I am working on getting healthy. Getting thinner is a bonus. I am 45 years old and have been married for 19 years, it's not about vanity, it's about healthy living. Until I get my tummy tuck and have a small, hot butt, then it's about vanity! LOL!!

Thanks to everyone for sharing such great words to live by.

[jhawkchick75]

Completely understand! I've never been thin, but when I was younger I was always curvy, but athletic. But I danced and we had this ballet teacher that always brought up my weight. She always talked about how great my technique was, but that I was too heavy. I just can't believe that - I did not have a ballerina body, but I was not big. But now I look back and am just amazed at how it impacted my self esteem and weight issues. I told my niece I would let her take dance classes when she's 4, but in the back of my head I think about my experience. I know I can't shield her and who knows if she will get "the family genes", but I don't want her to go through that. I always tell her how pretty she is and how wonderful she is, but people are cruel and it scares me to death. She is a mini me so i'm scared she will get these lovely hips and weight issues as well. But her dad is tall and skinny so hopefully not. It is just amazing the prejudice that is out there. And sadly weight prejudice is one of the last ones that seems to be accepted by many!